"High on a hill lived a lonely goatherd....Lay-dee-oh, ah-lay-dee-oh,
ah-lay-HEE-ho"

KABOOOOM!!

Emmy jumped up from her sofa and ran to the window. The smoke was clearing from the area where the cottage had been.

"Oh my God." Emmy blinked. "Oh my God."

~*~

The General hurried down the stairs, having abandoned his concentrated effort on the deadbolts on Emmy's door when he heard the explosion.

Tara followed close behind, her eyes fixed to the waistband of his flannel jammie pants as they teasingly threatened to fall off his hips with every determined stride he took.

As the General charged outside, topless and almost, nearly, practically, one-good-step-would-do-it bottomless, Tara steeled herself.

It was sprinkling.

Small, perfect raindrops gently hitting the General's bare back and shoulders.

~*~

Meanwhile at the smoky, charred site of the former Mastah/Wench love nest, new frosh Ho's held onto each other for dear life as the General's bare, slightly damp chest and abs approached them.

Julia snapped photos like crazy. "Who needs pictures of purple ash?" Julia smirked. "You're getting this, right?"

"Oh, yeah," Sere grinned, zooming the lens of her video camera.

"Mastah, are you alright?" the General said.

"We are quite well, Obi-Wan, thank you," Qui-Gon said, placing his arm protectively around his Wench.

The General examined the pile of ash. Then ran his fingers through his damp hair. "This is a disastah."

In that instant, Julia tossed Tara a pair of swoon protection sunglasses, while Kendra, Ellie, Kymira, and Jen set up lawn chairs in the rain and sipped cocktails while they avidly watched the General prowl around the ashes.

A few moments later, Judy rolled the mobile bar out across the lawn and set up shop just beyond the remains of the cottage.

The General looked up from his inspection of the damage as the whir of the blender distracted his attention. He scratched the side of his head. He looked behind him to see the four lounging Ho's waving coyly at him. Then he looked down to the ground where Tara sat grinning at him, sunglasses still firmly afixed to her face.

The sound of a snapping shutter caught his attention, and he turned to face Julia. The General quirked an eyebrow as she continued to photograph him.

And then the blender fired up again.

"Judith dahling," he said, swaggering over to the mobile bar. "What are you--"

"Libation?" Judy asked, handing the General a frosty glass of ale.

"Oh. Well." The General scratched his head again and looked around. Qui-Gon was leading Dande toward the library to get her big hair out of the rain. Everyone else was drinking margaritas. The General turned back to Judy. "Thank you," he said, taking the ale from her with a smile, the rapt attention of his Ho's making him mostly oblivious to the fact that he was standing around outside in the rain dressed only in flannel jammie pants.

~*~

"Okay, watch this."

"What?" Dorotea said, tossing a cascading streamer off the deck of the cruise ship as they prepared for departure.

"See that guy in the shit-colored leather sport jacket?" Xani said.

"The one with the big lapels on his polyester shirt?"

"Yeah, him. Watch." Xani took one of the unreleased streamers and pitched it at the fashion violator's head two decks below, pinging the man right in the forehead. Xani cackled.

"You're bad," Dorotea said.

"You love it," Xani said, nipping her ear.

**Love...exciting and new......come aboard....we're expecting yoooou....**

Dorotea looked around "What the hell? They're not really supposed to PLAY this!"

**The love boat! Soon will be making another run!**

"Get me outta here!" Dorotea said, grabbing Xani by his neck, as he tried to ping another passenger, and dragging him inside the ship.

~*~

Laure snuggled up to the RB, sighing happily that for once that her door hadn't been broken down after Darry had purple lightening'd Dande's home. Perhaps things really were going to settle down and she'd have some peace again.

"Darling?"

"Yes, Commo?"

"Do you think Tiger Woods knows where my sister is?"

~*~

The General tossed the rain soaked and grass-stained - due to the scenic route he and Judy took when wheeling the mobile bar back into the building - flannel jammie pants into the hamper.

Then he pulled out a clean pair of flannel jammie pants from his dresser and put them on.

Now, where had he been?

The General thought for a moment.

"Ah yes," he suddenly said, snapping his fingers in the air. Then he paused. "No, that's not right, Dorotea was this morning." He rubbed his chin. "Laure? No, jacuzzi at mid-morning. Hmmm... Ah! No, that's not right, either. Think, man, think." The General crossed his arms and fell into The Stance. "Kendr--no, she was after lunch.... Okay, Judith," he said, grinning evily. "Drinks, grrls, ashes, explosion...Ah!" He clapped his hands together. "Emmy. Of course."

~*~

"Brighter than the brightest day....deeper than the deepest sea......our love will lighten our every way......and bring you always back to me."

Darry groaned and slumped her head against Cic's shoulder as LP remained kneeling on the floor, holding his arm out to her as he read on.

"No matter where you go in life......my heart will always be near....to guide you through every pain and strife....and keep you always my love most dear."

"Pelham," Cic said, placing his hand over his heart as he stifled a chuckle. "That was...lovely." He turned his head toward Darry and tried to pry her face away from his neck. "Wasn't that lovely?"

Darry shook her head insistently against Cic's neck.

And then the phone rang.

"I'll get it!" Darry said, diving for the phone. "Yeah, hello, what?"

"Angel! I finally found you!"

Ka-BLAM!!

Darry kicked aside the shattered remains of her latest phone and marched over to LP as he gazed upon her with awe and wonder.

"Give me your cell phone," Darry barked.

LP scrambled to his feet. "I would be honored, m'lady," he said.

Darry snatched it from his hand and hit the speed dial for Dorotea.

"Hel--"

"Listen up," Darry snapped. "I zapped Dande's cottage, so she and that Mastah are moving into the library and painting it yellow and chintzy shit and stuff. Enjoy your vacation." Darry powered it off before Dorotea could yell, and then she tossed the phone back to LP. "Ah, much better."

~*~

Having finally unlocked the last of Emmy's deadbolts, the General opened the door and walked into her room. The entire suite was dark and quiet, which piqued his suspicion right off the bat.

He walked quietly through the living room and into her bedroom, encountering yet another set of deadbolts. The General sighed and focused his Force attention on them. But then he smiled when he realized they weren't actually locked.

He carefully opened the door and stepped inside to discover Emmy sound asleep on her bed, clutching her large Pooh Bear tightly. He reached forward and gently took hold of Pooh, attempting to remove the bear from Emmy's grasp.

Emmy, still asleep, moaned in protest, locking her arms tighter around Pooh.

The General pulled a little harder on Pooh's arm but only succeeded in dragging Emmy halfway across the bed with Pooh.

He sighed and grasped both of her hands in an attempt to pry her arms apart. "Emmy," he said softly, "you can let go. It's alright."

Emmy whined and scrunched her face.

The General sat down on the bed. "It's just me," he said as her grip loosened slightly. He managed to slip Pooh out of her embrace and gently placed him on the floor, having learned in the past not to disrespectfully toss Pooh Bear aside.

The General reclined beside Emmy, and she immediately burrowed into him, wrapping her arm and leg tightly around him. He embraced her as she snuggled into him, turning his head to inhale the scent of her hair as his fingers caressed her tresses.

"I wish you wouldn't leave," he said softly. "And I wish you wouldn't wall yourself off."

Emmy sighed quietly against his warm, bare skin.

"But I understand why you do," he whispered. "And it's alright."

"Thank you," she said, relaxing into him.

The General squeezed her tight. "But about the rest of that Powahball money," he said quite seriously.

"What about it?"

"Hahley Davidson."

Emmy laughed, nuzzling her face against his neck as a broad grin spread across the General's face.

"Sure," Emmy said. "As long as I get to have a puppy."

The General fell silent in mid-chuckle. Emmy raised her head and looked at him, raising her eyebrows expectantly. The General raised only one eyebrow and revealed a dubious expression.

Emmy reached down and untied the drawstring to his jammie pants. "Say yes," she whispered. Then she yelped as she suddenly found herself tossed on her back, the General pinning her arms above her head.

"You say yes," he drawled as he turned on The Look.

"Make me," Emmy said.

"With pleasure," he purred.

~*~

"Oh, hello, Bijoux, how *good* of you to call again!" Kendra enthused, holding the phone between her ear and shoulder as she picked apart her breakfast scone. "Yes, yes, the General would *love* to talk to you. Hold on just a sec, I'll put you right through. Oh, you're welcome!" Kendra chirped, putting Bijoux on hold and then patching her through to Wicket's workshed.

"Ah yeah," Kendra said, leaning back in her executive leather chair, "it's good to be a Ho."

The End