Title: HSU: Wenchly Currents
Author: Judy
Time line: Halloween fic
Rating: BAK (Bartender Angst, Kinda)
Disclaimer: I don't own the General. Sigh. I don't own Mr. Darcy. Sigh.
Archive: yes, please, Darry (just don't read the first part! ;))
Notes: This is un-betaed. I proudly claim all typos. The bartender gets all introspective-y. And strange currents are swirling around campus....And what is it about our musical selection? (gr) I left this open-ended because I plan to continue on with it in a post-Halloween timeframe.

"Wenchly Currents"

Judy gave her bodice another tug as she entered the bar to prepare for the night's Halloween festivities. Her floor-length Empire-waisted costume was designed to make her look like an elegant lady of the early 19th Century, specifically Elizabeth Bennet from Pride and Prejudice. Unfortunately it didn't look the same on her as it did in those pictures in the costume catalog.

Damnit, why couldn't Darry have done something to help her? She had made Emmy's EA *walk* for cryin' out loud. But noooo, couldn't help a fellow Ho in need.

"Bitch," Judy mumbled under her breath as she hitched up her bodice again while trying to grab a margarita glass. She needed a drink.

*****

"Judith dahling?"

The bartender turned to see a very divine sight. She had to grip the bar top hard not to swoon. There he stood, her Mr. Darcy. In The Stance.

The General grinned wickedly. "So I meet with your approval?"

Regaining her balance, Judy bit her lip and pretended to consider. With a mischievous glint in her eyes, she twirled her finger. "Turn around."

Wicked grin still in place, Obi-Wan did as ordered, slowly giving Judy a nice view of his figure, which was accentuated to perfection in the elegant cut of his coat, the form-fitting leggings, the pristine black boots. He was magnificent. Jane Austen's hero come alive.

And with that thought, Judy realized how magnificently frumpy she looked in her costume. No, not frumpy. Pregnant and no cleavage.

The General didn't need his Jedi abilities to sense her sudden mood shift.

"What is it?" He glanced down at his costume. Judy snorted.

"Like you have anything to worry about. You look wonderful, as usual. No, it's me. I hate this costume. I'm changing." Judy plucked at her dress, giving it a disgusted look.

With that, she scooted past a suddenly befuddled General and headed up to her room.

The General blinked several times. He'd never understand his grrls' thought processes. "Wait, Judith." He darted out of the bar and straight into a group of Frosh Ho's. A few in the group immediately whipped out their swoon-protective shades and leered at him. But several others giggled and batted eyelashes at him. One girl tottered over to him in high heels and tried to grab his biceps.

Obi-Wan pulled back, suddenly feeling very strange. This wasn't normal behavior for his grrls. There was something odd here...elusive.

"Uh, excuse me ladies, but I really need to be..."

"Oh General Kenobi," the wench-like freshman cooed. "You are so handsome. So brave and strong."

He felt himself being pulled inexorably into the group...

"Hold it, sister!" A frosh with shades on shouted, grabbing the offending girl's arm and yanking her away from the General. "What do you think you're doing?"

Obi-Wan blinked and looked around. What had happened to him? Grabbing the opportunity to escape a very weird situation, he slipped away.

He went to straight to Judy's room, but, of course, she wasn't there. He sighed. He supposed she was mad at him, but he hadn't the slightest idea why. This was supposed to be a fun night, right?

He headed to the party, deciding that tomorrow he and Judith could talk out whatever the problem was. He wasn't in the large, loud room for long before his attention was diverted elsewhere by a pouncing JenJen. And so went the night. He never made it over to the bar.

****

Judy had changed into her more traditional garb of black pants, white stretch shirt, and black Nine West loafers. She hadn't planned on working this night, not really, but the Halloween party was way too much for an inexperienced bartender to handle (plus Pelham had hair to fix) and since her costume sucked -- she had so wanted to recreate that pond scene with the General -- she might as well go to work and be comfortable in the process.

Truthfully she had expected him to follow her and talk her out of changing. But he hadn't. And she was disappointed. She knew Obi-Wan loved her and cared about her well being, and he'd probably just gotten confused about her attitude. It didn't take much sometimes, but still...he could have tried.

This Halloween sucked, big time. She trudged back to the bar, going the back way into the kitchen so she could check on the hors d'oeuvres JenJen had had catered. Her eyes widened at the sight of batches of some sort of cookie.

*****

From the loud music emanating from the bowels of the HSU main building -- well mainly through the large hole in the library wall -- it was obvious the party was a success.

The party scene was actually pretty typical. Ho's and various EAs in every costume imaginable were dancing, talking, laughing, drinking, eating. Cal had provided the best entertainment of the evening when he had staggered up to the bar in his approximation of the General's stalk and tried to order a drink. "Judith, I'll have a Corellian Ale." He had been saved from being beaten to a pulp for saying her name that way only because the bartender was laughing too hard to do anything. In trying to imitate the General's voice, he had come across like a goober version of Lina Lamont.

Judy smiled up at the bat lights twinkling around the place and thought back. That had been a fun evening. Obi-Wan had been such a good sport, well aware of their ogling, and...she frowned. Where was he anyway? He should have arrived at the party by now. Well, so glad to see he cares. She snorted. Damn, don't want to think about him right now.

****

The evening actually hadn't been that bad. Jael and Max had stopped by. It had been so good to see them both and she couldn't wait to hear about all their travels when they had time. Max's comment about missing his favorite "taverna mistress" had made her feel good, appreciated. She had assured him that his men behaved themselves in the bar now, and that Haken was a help.

Tara and Kendra had bustled through, both seemingly intent on some mission. Judy hesitated to wonder what. Knowing her padawan, it could be anything.

Ellie introduced the new professor, Dr. Jones. They had had a nice chat about whisky and the finer points of breaking bottles over people's heads but not on bar tops.

Shana had leaned heavily on her EA, trying not to collapse under the weight of her jewelry. Scott had propped her up against the bar so she could rest and take some more Aleve.

Emmy, dressed as Scarlett, had wandered by to ask if there were any more of those delicious little mushrooms left. Judy had wondered what she was talking about. JenJen hadn't ordered mushroom hors d'oeuvres. The bartender had pointed out that there were plenty of Jen's special cookies, though.

But now, between being disappointed in Obi-Wan coming to talk to her and the Monster Mash playing again for the umpteenth gazillionth time --didn't these people know anything better to play?--the bartender felt like she was about to snap.

"I believe you need a hug," said a warm, masculine voice in front of her. Only it wasn't the warm, masculine voice she loved so much. It was Qui-Gon's.

Judy put her head down on her arms. "Why him?" she murmured.

"I don't know why you insist that you dislike me," said the Master Jedi who was doubling as Rob Roy. "I know you do. Why else would you go with me to the off-track-betting parlor?"

"Because that's business," she ground out. She was really trying to be civil because she needed his betting "expertise" and she didn't want to upset Dande, but God, this man was annoying.

"Are you having a bad night?" Qui-Gon kept his voice even and gentle.

Judy glared at him. "Go away. I'm in no mood for your 'all-knowing' Jedi routine."

"Did Obi-Wan do something?" He gave her a pointed look.

"Fu.."

"Mastah darling!" Dande's lyrical voice rang out as she moved serenely over to the bar. She looked resplendent in her Wonder Woman costume. She clasped Qui-Gon's arm. "Are we going to the other party now?"

"Just a moment, my dear. Judy here has a problem with Obi-Wan. Perhaps you could help her?"

Judy sighed. Great, advice from the Wench.

"Of course! We'll talk tomorrow, Judy." She patted the bartender's arm gently. "How does dinner sound? You haven't been to visit our newest cottage."

"Well, I..."

"Wonderful!" Dande clapped her hands together. "We'll see you at six."

"But.."

"Dande!" It was Brenda, her hair sticking out in all directions. "Hair emergency, please help? LP got a little enthused about using styling spray and scrunchies in my hair tonight."

"I'll be right there." Dande smiled up at Qui-Gon and put her hands on her hips. "I must go. I have hair to rescue."

"Oh course, darling. It won't take too long I trust?" Qui-Gon gave her an affectionate squeeze.

Judy rolled her eyes. She turned to stack some glasses.

"And Judy..."

Sighing, she turned back around to glare resentfully at Qui-Gon. "Yeah?"

"I'm looking forward to talking with you. And know that if you ever need help or need to share your burden, my shoulder is always available, little one."

Judy didn't understand what happened in the next moment. She normally would have bristled at the "little one." She hated that as much as Emmy did. And the saccharine tone? Blech. But tonight, Qui-Gon's words had her near tears.

Before she could stop herself, she merely nodded and sniffled. Qui-Gon gave her that annoying "I know best" smile of his again, stroked her cheek gently, and went off in search of Dande.

Judy realized she was touching her cheek where Qui-Gon's hand had traced. Jerking her hand down, she cursed and quickly turned back to her work. Damn, what was wrong with her tonight? Responding like that to Qui-Gon's Alpha crap? He did zero for her. And now she was going to have dinner with him and the Wench?

Halloween was all about weirdness and scary stuff, and on this night, Judy was definitely weirded out.

And it had all started with that stupid dress.

The End