*******

The warm and spicy scent of roiboos greeted Kendra as she entered the kitchen. Tara smiled and gestured toward the fresh pot of tea. "Want a cup? Looks like you could use it."

Kendra sighed heavily and shook her head. "I need hot chocolate. Extra chocolate, extra whipped cream."

"Uh-oh. That bad?" Not waiting for her water-loving sister Ho to respond, Tara pulled a small saucepan from a cupboard, put some milk on to heat, and readied a mug with extra chocolate syrup.

"The spritzer bottles are freezing up and not working right," Kendra moaned, throwing herself into a chair, and getting a sympathetic wince in response.

"Yea, I was afraid of that."

Kendra held up the bottle for inspection. "What are we gonna do?!"

"Well...we're not really supposed to be using them outside--" Catching the look on Kendra's face, Tara grinned as she took the proffered bottle.

"At first I thought Ky might be able to knit little bottle warmers, but it isn't the water in the bottle that's freezing, it's what's inside the spray mechanism that's causing the failure."

Adjusting the trigger, Tara took a couple of experimental shots into the sink, and wondered aloud, "What if we used warm water...?" Her voice trailed off, and both Hos took a moment to stare dreamily into space.

"Hey! That milk is gonna burn," exclaimed Judy as she entered the kitchen. She crossed to the stove and took the pan off the flame. The Bartender quickly and efficiently made her Padawan's hot chocolate. She frowned at the prodigious amount of syrup, then automatically added the extra whipped cream. "What's wrong?" she asked as she set the mug in front of Kendra.

"The spritzer bottles are freezing up," the Padawan Ho said glumly, licking whipped cream off her upper lip.

"You're not supposed to be using them outside," Judy stated succinctly as she began to wipe down the counter. The Water Hos rolled their eyes in response.

"Well," said Kendra with greater enthusiasm. "Tara just suggested we switch to warm water."

Judy shook her head as she rinsed out the sponge. "You'll still get the General wet and cold, and if he gets sick, you two will have a lodge full of unhappy Hos."

"Oh? And he doesn't get wet and cold being pelted by snowballs?" Kendra snorted.

Tara shook her head. "Actually? There's probably more water in a good spritz than in the average snowball."

Kendra eyed her with disbelief. "No..."

Judy nodded as she joined her Padawan at the kitchen table. "Snow's fairly dry, sweetie. You'd dehydrate if you attempted to live off of it." The Bartender and the new freshman watched as a mutinous frown settled over Kendra's features.

"Ah, buck up, hon," Tara smiled. "Have you *seen* that bath room? You could sleep six-- seven! If you count the built-in lounge thingie -- in that sunken tub alone." She turned to Judy. "It's really quite obscene."

"Yeah, I'm guessing that the previous owners had some sort of 'ancient Rome' fantasy," Judy said, sipping her tea. "Too bad Jael and General Max couldn't have joined us this trip." She grinned knowingly. "Though, I heard that Ky sneaked Quintus in under the guise of 'checking the plumbing'."

"I'll bet!" Kendra and Tara crowed in unison, then breaking into laughter.

"Apparently, he thought he'd died and gone to heaven," Judy added, chuckling.

When the Ho in question walked through the door, the laughter redoubled.

"What?" Ky asked, coming to a halt in the middle of the room.

"Nothing!" the three Hos chorused.

Giving her fellow Hos a suspicious look, Ky sniffed the air. "What's that yummy smell?"

"Roiboos tea, or hot chocolate," Tara offered. "Take your pick."

"Oooh, hot chocolate, thanks!" Ky settled in next to Judy and Kendra.

Tara looked to the Bartender, making sure that she'd be allowed to attempt another mug of cocoa. Imperiously, Judy gestured, indicating that the freshman was to try, but she'd be under a watchful eye.

"So, what's up?" the new arrival asked.

"The spritzer bottles aren't working in this weather," Kendra explained. "It's too cold."

"I thought you weren't supposed to use them out--"

Kendra groaned, and buried her head in her hands. Judy just laughed, while Tara attempted to snicker, and appear vigilant over the saucepan at the same time.

"So you tried to use them outside?" Ky asked the broken Ho, who nodded. "Then what happened?".

"The General was jogging by," said Kendra, her voice muffled in her hands. "I couldn't resist..." She lifted her head and pounded her fist against the table. "I'm weak, all right?! It's an addiction." With dramatic flare, Kendra leapt to feet. "Hello! My name is Kendra, and I'm an Aquaholic!"

"Hi, Kendra!" shouted Tara.

"What the heck is going on in here?" asked Ellie from the doorway.

"Kendra tried to ambush the General while he was jogging, but it's too cold for the spritzer bottle to work... I think," Ky helpfully supplied.

"Kendra! You're not supposed to--" Ellie began to admonish her roommate.

"--use them outside!" The other Hos finished.

"I KNOW!" thundered the A-#1 Wet General Ho as she stomped towards the sink, where the A-#2 Wet General Ho could pat her shoulder in commiseration. "But what are we," Kendra gestured to include Tara " supposed to do then, huh? Spritz him *inside* the lodge?!" She grabbed the warmed spritzer bottle from the sink and aimed it at her roommate, who shrieked and jumped out of the way as a stream of water shot across the kitchen...

...and caught the General in the face, neck and chest.

He blinked, but otherwise stood very still in the open doorway.

Judy gasped; Ky squeaked; and Ellie remained silent in openmouthed shock.

Tara, in the act of pouring hot milk over chocolate syrup, didn't notice that the mug was overflowing as she stared hungrily at the water that now beaded on the General's skin.

Kendra, her eyes glazing over, tittered nervously, then twitched, causing the spritzer bottle to erupt again, this time catching the General across the shoulders and biceps.

"Oopsie," she mumbled absently.

"Kendra!" Judy exclaimed, as Ellie clapped her hands over her mouth, trying not to giggle as loudly as Ky.

"My bad," said Tara, her voice oddly thick. "I adjusted the nozzle from spritz, to, uh...stream..." she dazed off, then shook her head to clear it. "Yea, uh-- Sorry."

"That's quite all right," the General said smoothly, not flinching as another stream caught him in the stomach.

Ellie and Ky gave up all pretensions of calm and begin to roar with laughter. Judy staggered to her feet, eyes swimming with tears of mirth, blindly reaching for the now steadily streaming bottle.

Tara began to quiver as the waistband of the General's tight, black uniform pants became saturated, and threatened eminent indecent exposure.

The General, relying on his common sense -- and not his Jedi training -- stepped sideways, avoiding the coup d'spritz that would have left nothing to the imagination.

Snatching the bottle out of her Padawan's hands, Judy tried to calm herself, wiping the tears from her eyes. Looking at the General, however, set her thoughts adrift in a hazy fog. "You're very...very...wet," she finally croaked, her mouth gone very, very dry.

"Yes, I noticed," he responded dryly. "*You*," he said sharply, pointing at Kendra, "howevah..." a slow wicked grin spreading across his face, "are not." In a move that no human eye could register, he'd crossed the room and swept the unresisting Ho into his arms, pressing his full, wet length against her, quickly dampening her zebra print shirt and black jeans.

Kendra squealed delightedly as he began to rub his face and head against her. Like a large wet puppy, he shook his head, splattering her with the excess water dripping from his hair.

It had been a good plan, with one small error in the execution.

He'd turned his back on Tara.

He took a half dozen shots down his spine, before he spun with a yelp, holding Kendra in front of him. All eyes were now on the Ho who determinedly stared down her target, a spritz bottle in each hand.

Kenobi's eyes narrowed, and in one of the most atrocious impersonations of Clint Eastwood the galaxy had ever seen, snarled, "You'd shoot an unarmed man in th' back?"

Tara bared her teeth, and twirled the bottles through steady fingers.

As if on cue, Judy, Ellie, and Ky began to softly hum the Standard Spaghetti Western Theme Music (tm).

"Oh, yeah?" he growled, cocking a brow and sneering. "Wot else ya got, lil'lady?"

The growl was fairly hard to withstand, as was the brow and the sneer. Tara swayed, and the watching Hos gasped in dismay. But, drawing on all her Ho reserves, she firmly pulled herself together and took aim at the General's booted feet. "Dance, braid boy!" she whooped, opening fire.

Kenobi skittered aside with a yell, shoving Kendra forward, sacrificing his cover to snatch the spritzer bottle from Judy's hands. Running toward and up the wall, he performed a flawless, gravity-defying somersault, opening fire in mid-air, catching Tara in the neck, and Kendra mid-back, before landing on his feet, with cat-like grace.

Not stopping to wipe the away the water trickling across her chest, Tara tossed Kendra one of her bottles and the two began rapidly to return fire on the now retreating General. As the trio ran out the door, Judy, Ellie and Ky stood in stunned silence for at least four or five seconds. Judy looked at Ky; Ky looked at Ellie; Ellie looked at Judy; as one they ran for the large Mouse-Eared (tm) box in the entry hall's coat closet.

"These have the optional fan attachments," Judy pointed out, with a grin.

"Yeah, great, but do they stream?" asked Ky impatiently.

"Oh, yeah..." drawled Ellie with a wicked wink.

Running back to the kitchen, the three loaded their weapons, and then hurriedly followed a trail of screams, yelps, and yowls.

******** "Oooooooh," whispered Dor naughtily. "Oooooh, yeaaaaah, baby. Then? We run our hands over your--" Whatever she'd been about to suggest was lost in a gurgle as the Librarian took a spritz to the mouth. Dropping the phone in shock, she spun on her attacker. "HEY!"

Ky's laughter floated back down the hall.

******* Emmy swam up through her cold medicines, sitting up as an outraged shout echoed through the room. Peering over the back of the couch, her eyes widened as she watched Ellie and Judy ambush Julia and Sere, spritzer bottles going full bore.

"OY! You two! Nawt insibe!" the Alpha Ho cried hoarsely, right before catching a blast between the eyes.

******* "It tickles!" shouted Pixie.

Laure put down her coffee cup and, still clutching her Country Life (UK Edition), she stepped into the hall, just in time to see Ellie and Tara catch a giggling Pixie in the cross fire.

"All right! Don't make me come over there and mediate you three!" she snapped, flicking a stray droplet from the glossy cover of her magazine.

"Oh, yea? Mediate this!" Tara responded with a grin as she quickly reduced her friend's curls to a limp, soggy mess, then just as quickly fled; Laure's eyes burning a hole into her back.

"Ooooh!" breathed Ellie. "That was cool! Where's the Wench?!"

******* The General's booming laugh could be heard over Shana's shouts. Pulling her behind him, he took the brunt of JenJen and Ky's shots, returning fire with equal fervor, but still grossly outgunned until Elaine's arrival turned the tide. Tossing a spare spritzer to Shana, the two Hos flanked the General, and, together, the three quickly had the roommates on the run.

Zigzagging down the hall, surfing a runner or two, Ky and JenJen disappeared around a corner. The General, Elaine and Shana in hot pursuit--

Shouting, Shana, Elaine, and the General reappeared, running pell-mell back up the hall, JenJen, Ky, Julia, and Sere, whooping and spritzing at their heels.

******* "Target sighted," whispered Ellie, peering on around the corner. "But I think the Mastah is with her."

"Stay on target," urged Tara in a robotic monotone.

"But--"

"Stay on target."

"Are you nuts?"

"Stay on target."

"Okay, I get it. Ha-ha. Very funny," Ellie groaned. "But there's no way--"

With an ear piercing ululation, Tara jumped into the path of the approaching Wench, spritzer at full stream...

...splashing ineffectually against the wall of Mastah that had suddenly appeared before her.

"YI-YI-YI...."

::SPRITZ SPRITZ SPRITZ::

"...YI-YI-Yi-Yi..."

::SPRITZ SPRitz Spritz::

"...Yi-yi-yi-yi.."

::Spritz::

"..yi..."

::spritz::

"..y--"

::sprit--::

Arms across his chest, the Mastah glowered down at the puzzled Ho. She cocked her head to the side, studying the large wet chest before her, the way the water dripped from his beard, and the streaks the tips of his saturated hair left against his dryer shoulders.

"Y'know?" she mused. "This is soooo *NOT* a good look for you."

Dande's eyelashes batted audibly as she laid a Wenchly restraining hand on the growling Alpha's forearm.

Giggling like a loon, Tara flashed an impudent tongue in response. Ellie, convulsing with laughter, grabbed her by the back of the shirt and dragged her back the way they'd come.

******* Tumbling through the hallways like a pack of rowdy puppies, groups of Hos, and one General, fired upon each other willy-nilly until there wasn't a dry body in the house. Shouting, laughing, running and spritzing, the entire group somehow managed to converge in the cavernous living-room, where they continued to spritz each other silly under the disapproving looks of a few senior staff members and the damp Alpha Mastah.

"How the heck did this start?" Dor growled, waving her cell phone up and down, hoping the movement would blow it dry.

"'ow do you tink, it started?" Emmy sniffled, glaring at Kendra and Tara. "Dose two ha'bin jus lookin' fo an ebcuse. Dey neeb helb."

"Is there a chapter of Aquaholics Anonymous in Estrogen County?" Dande delicately fretted.

"There is now!" snarled Laure, fingers bunching her curls back into shape.

The Mastah stood silently glowering on the chaotic scene before him.

Eyeing the spritz battle that moved across the floor, and dangerously close to the rugs, the Diva finally had enough. "NAWT ON DA FLOKATI!" she bellowed.

******** They could all easily fit within the fireplace, it was so monstrously large. The fire that burned there now not only lit, but warmed the huge room with ease. At the far end of the room, windows had been cracked open to the swirling snow to let some of the heat escape.

In front of the leaping flames, across the length of the large, soft flokati rug, the General sprawled, his head in Judy's lap, her fingers absently twining in his hair. He grinned at something Emmy said, reaching up to tuck the blanket around her feet.

The Mastah sat in a chair large enough to fit his frame, Dande perched daintily in his lap, chatting quietly with Laure.

JenJen, Ky, Julia, and Sere sipped cocoa and watched as their marshmallows turned a golden brown.

Pixie tugged Dor by the hand, leading her towards Elaine, Shana, and Ellie, who held up the magazine they'd be grinning over. Dor's eyes widened, and taking the copy of 'Archaeology,' from Ellie, she whispered in delighted awe, "*That's* the new Prof?"

Kendra handed the General his glasses, and he thanked her with a soft smile. He slipped the wire frames up the bridge of his nose, then tugged her down against his side, where she settled with a contented sigh. He picked up a book, pausing to brush the hair away from Tara's face. As she raised her head from his thigh, and drowsily insisted, "I'm awake," the room erupted into quiet laughter.

Kenobi opened his book and an expectant hush filled the room.

"Why--?" Dande began to whisper.

"Hos don't Hive, hon," Laure interrupted softly, anticipating the question. She patted her dear friend and colleague on the knee and smiled into the Mastah's warm and knowing gaze. "We just don't," she said with quite, firm conviction, before turning her attention back to the General.

"Call me Ishmael," he began.