Dorotea gathered the necessary supplies to perform the resurrection ceremony for Commodus' Praetorian Guard. Xanatos frowned as she sniffed herbs and powders.

"I don't see why you have to do it tonight," he purred, wrapping his arms around the Librarian, who was checking the sharpness of her athame blade. "You just got back. I want to show you how much I missed you."

Dorotea ignored the pleasure of his body pressed against hers and pulled away. "One, because I need to mingle with some dark forces to recover from all that warm, fuzzy Hive behavior over the weekend. Two, because --"

"I'm dark and I want to mingle with you," Xanatos interrupted, capturing the Librarian again and kissing her neck.

"Hmmm...Two, Commo asked nicely and with those pleading, brooding, beautiful eyes. Three, its Friday the 13th and a full moon tonight. Four, because it will piss off the Dean and cause a lot of trouble." Dorotea continued, not pulling away from Xani's ministrations.

"Trouble?" Xanatos whispered, obviously intrigued.

"Lots of trouble," Dorotea said with a grin.

"In that case...can I watch?"

"Of course, I always let you watch. Go entertain yourself for a couple of hours and I'll call you when I'm ready."

~*~

LP placed the sheet music for Ministry's 'Everyday is Halloween' on the music stand. He played a few notes and frowned. As appropriate as the song might be for his companions it was definitely not romantic. He shuffled through the sheet music until he found Spandau Ballet's 'True'.

Dorotea cringed. That was not appropriate raising the dead music. She marched over to a stack of sheet music next to the organ and started flipping through them, dropping the ones that didn't interest her on the floor.

Next door, in the Clinic, the Nurse sighed as Cic leaned over her shoulder, trying to distract her while she filled out paperwork on the frosh class physicals. It could be worse she decided. At least LP wasn´t playing ABC.

Dorotea smiled and placed the new sheet music in front of LP. "The Nurse will love this one...who broke my heart, you did, you did...."

~*~

The Nurse didn't bother knocking on the Library door, she just barged in. "Some of us are working!" She exclaimed.

LP stopped playing. "You don't like the song, m'lady?"

Dorotea noted the purple sparks coming from the Nurse's nails and told LP, "Why don't you go make sure Xanatos isn't tormenting Tara or Emmy. Too much, anyway."

LP nodded and kissed Dorotea's hand. "As you wish, m'lady."

LP bowed to Darry and left the Library, cell phone in hand. He hit the speed dial for Xani's phone on his way out.

Darry smelled incense. She walked to the nine-foot witch's Circle with the pentagram inside that was chalked on the floor. "What are you up to?" She asked very slowly.

Dorotea shrugged, placing her athame and the chalice she was holding behind her back. "Just playing around."

Darry gave Dorotea a hard look. "Your dance card is already full."

"It's not for me," the Librarian snapped. "It's for Commo."

"Not his sister!"

"No! His guards!"

There was a long pause. "Sure, fine, whatever," the Nurse said as she started back to the Clinic. "And no more bloody music!"

~*~

"Mmmmmmm...I love these pyjamas," the General said, as he pulled Emmy closer to him. "But don't you have any clothes? You've been in these for days."

"I have washed them!" Emmy said defensively, pushing him back a bit. "And since when did you care about Ho's in clothes? (Eat your heart out, Dr. Seuss)

"I notice your clothes. You don't think I do?" The General pushed himself up on one elbow and looked perplexly down at Emmy. "Ask me about any of the Grrls, and I'll tell you what they like to wear."

"Don't want to," Emmy groused.

"Laure always has on leather or lace, or both. Shana and Dorotea wear mostly black and Darry wears ridiculously expensive and tailored clothes. Kymira has been wearing armour a lot, like she's training for something, JenJen- well- I remember the underthings better than the clothes. Brenda and Deb like comfortable casual, Sere and Julia wear things with lots of pockets for cameras and little notebooks. Judy likes riding clothes, Tasha has been sporting boas lately, Ellie's clothes all seem to be torn up. Tara likes earthy-toned colours and Birks, and Kendra likes anything that can get wet without running or shrinking. See?"

"Impressive," Emmy said through gritted teeth.

"And you like these flannel jammies," Obi-Wan tried to pull her closer. She resisted. "Emmy, what's the matter with you? Are you still feeling unwell?"

"What, you don't remember the clothes I like?"

"Er...I seem to remember a tiara quite well..." Obi-Wan fished.

"That was ages ago! I haven't worn one in months!"

"I'm sorry, Emmy. I guess I remember the pyjamas better than anything else about you."

"Huh?" The General was clearly sinking into another McDonald's Moment. "Maybe you should go visit with another of your better-dressed Grrls," Emmy suggested.

"Maybe I will," the General said, untangling himself.

"Fine."

"Fine."

Emmy's door closed behind the General and she just stared at it for a long moment. How ungrateful he was these days. Didn't he understand that she was the only Ho who had eyes for no one else? She was the only one that loved him more than those good for nothing EAs?

Well, that isn't true, a little voice in her head reminded her. There were several Grrls who had no EAs and even the ones who did, all loved the General.

Shut up, she told the little voice.

The ones with no EAs just dumped them 'cause they were feeling guilty. Let's face it. Those with EAs spent more time with them than the General.

Well, of course, they do, the little voice said. The General has to see a lot of people in one day as well as carry out his administrative and academic duties.

Shut up, Emmy reiterated. I bet they're all miserable, she thought. Just look at them...

Dor was always having problems with her EAs.

That's not quite true, said that little voice. Her EAs are always in trouble with other people, not Dor. They were all one big happy family.

Shut up.

And Darry. Poor Cic isn't even allowed out of the Clinic.

Not true. He is, didn't you know that? He just doesn't want to leave.

Shut up. And Ellie...nope, not going there.

Laure? Definitely not going there...

Shana? Mutant scum.

No, just different, and with a nice bike.

Shut up.

Kymira? Common soldier.

Not true. Talented, and he cares about her a lot.

Shut up. '

And then there was Jael...

"Oh, shit." Emmy reached for an old shoebox under her bed and pulled out a worn and faded EA form and a big bottle of White Out.

Now...who should it be, and how could she keep this so quiet that even Ellie would forget about it?

~*~

Candles burned brightly in the Library, casting flickering shadows over the stacks of books. Xanatos and LP sat on the organ bench watching the Librarian sprinkle salt around the circle and then sit cross-legged in the middle of the pentacle. After waving the athame across the circle she placed the Gladiator novel, a chalice of Merlot, and a Praetorian helmet on the small altar.

Dorotea began chanting and LP turned to Xani, placing his hand on Xani's thigh. "She's not going to accidentally call up a snarling, hungry demon, is she?"

Xani shrugged, placing his hand over LP's. "Anything is possible. Especially considering Dorotea learned witchcraft from a mail order course."

If it were possible LP would have paled further. "Oh."

"And the Post Office lost the final section."

"Oh."

"But she's so sexy when she conducts bizarre rituals."

Dorotea sprinkled the final herbs and the Merlot over the Guard's helmet. She spoke the spell and waved an amulet across the circle. There was a bang and a sudden gush of wind blew through the Library, blowing out the candles and leaving the occupants in the dark.

Horrendous organ music filled the air as bodies crashed into the keys.

There was much clanking of armor, swords and swearing in Latin.

"LP let go of that, now is not the time!"

"Sorry. I didn't mean to grip it so tightly."

"Later you can grip--"

"Enough with the implied slash, it will upset the Wench! Turn on the lights!"

~*~

"LP, what now!?" Darry said as she walked into the noisy Library where Dor was desperately trying to calm down the thirty or so men who had just appeared.

"Pelham," LP reminded the Nurse.

"Yeah, whatever..." Darry said, walking over to Dor.

"You don't happen to know any Latin, by any chance, do you?" Dor shouted over the din of clanking armour and puzzled questions.

"The only thing I remember is how to decline the noun 'puella', which is probably not appropriate at this time," Darry replied. "Especially since 'puella' means girl."

"Um...no." The Guards were all looking at the odd people in the Library, none of whom they recognized.

"Here," LP handed Darry, Dor and Xani each a box. "They were on sale on QVC."

"Oh no," Dor slapped a hand to her forehead and then carefully opened her box. Inside was a black silk robe. "Oh, Pelham, this is gorgeous!" she sighed, playing kissy-face with her nobleman.

Xani had received the same. "You'll look smashing in that," LP said to Xani, winking. (Enough! remember the Wench...)

"I have a dressing gown already, LP," Darry informed him.

"Pelham," LP said automatically. "This is for Ci-" Dorotea slapped a hand over his mouth.

"Ot-nay in ont-fray of the ards-Guay."

"Huh?"

Darry opened the box. Inside was a burgundy silk robe. "Oh, wow. Thanks, LP."

"Pelham."

"He'll look soooo gooood in this." She gave LP a quick peck on the cheek and darted out of the Library just as the Guard re-discovered the organ.

"GO GET LAURE. NOW!" Dorotea ordered Xani in the loudest voice she could muster.

~*~

Ellie marched into the Library with a stack of EA forms. The exasperated Librarian was reading from the Law Dictionary, "Sub Silentio! Sub Silentio!"

The Praetorian Guard continued to complain loudly in Latin, ignoring the Librarian's butchered attempt at speaking their language.

Ellie shoved the forms at the Librarian. "If these men are going to be on campus, someone has to fill out EA forms for them!" Purple lightning danced from her fingertips.

Dorotea stomped her foot and shoved the papers back the EA Director.

"They're not for me! They're for Commo! I'm not filling out paperwork for them! Go see him!"

~*~

"I spent the morning smoking cigars," Logan blew smoke rings into the air.

"No kidding," Scott shot back, waving his hands around in the air in a vain effort to disperse the foul-smelling smoke.

"I spent the morning modeling my new robe. Thanks Pelham."

LP nodded to Cic.

Cal wiped down the last of the glasses and leaned against the bar, where LP was filling in for Judy and Kendra. The Ho's and the Wench had all decided to spend the afternoon together on the lawn playing croquet with the General. That was aside from Dor and Laure. Most of the EAs and the Mastah now lounged in the lounge, drinking and talking about how studly they were.

"I spent the morning entertaining thirty men in armor with strange hats." LP chimed in from the bar. Silence ensued while the other EAs shifted uncomfortably in their chairs. "I mean I helped Dor resurrect them."

"Ahhhh..." came the response en masse as one unpleasant image was replaced by another.

"Where´s that guy Xani who's usually with you?" Cal asked.

"At the bank with Mr Vocab."

"Of course," said Qui-Gon.

"Good," muttered Cicero.

"I gave Kymira another archery lesson this morning," Quintus said to the group, resuming the former conversation.

"Oh, is that what you call it?" Logan snorted.

"Well, that too," Quintus clarified, smiling slyly.

"Don't you guys ever get tired of being here?" Cal asked dumbly.

"Hell, no," Logan said around his beer.

"At least we're agreed on that," Scott said coolly.

"I mean, why do you stay?" Cal asked. Why was he here, he often asked himself. Funnily enough, the Ho's often asked themselves the same thing.

"Because, I love the Nurse. Why should I leave?" Cic said matter-of-factly.

"The Library is very stylish."

"I get free smokes and beer from the Ellie."

"Kymira has the most amazing clothing."

"Shana just *does* it for me."

"What about the other women?" Cal dug his hole a little deeper. "After all, they're all over the place."

"What other women?" Scott asked. Cal wasn't sure if he was joking. He didn't look like he was. ‘Course that might have been the glasses.

"My Wench knows me better than any other woman on this campus." Qui-Gon said. "I couldn't do without her.

"I'm happy where I am. Whenever I think I'm wrong, Dorotea reminds me why I'm hers." LP poured himself a glass of wine.

"I dunno, the bartender isn't bad in the drinks department." Logan smiled facetiously. It was lost on Cal.

"Bet they're not as good at all sports as Kymira is," Quintus smirked.

"I have met many of the other women. They're very pretty. They're nice. They treat me well...mostly." Cic eyed LP at the bar.

"And...?" Cal prompted.

"I love the Nurse. I want no other."

"I just want one...any one...." Cal muttered despondently to no one in particular.

~*~

The EA officer, puffing away, followed by thirty men hoofed it up the Administration Building stairs and over to Laure's room. She paused at the door, listening to see if now would be an opportune time to bust in with company. Inside she heard an argument.

"You'll just have to make more space for them. You are the tiger wrangler, after all."

"But this new set of clubs has to go somewhere. That odd man in the light imperial purple suit purchased them from the QVC emporium for me."

"You don't say..." Laure said slowly. Dorotea really needs to stop unloading things on people, she thought to herself.

Now's a good time, Ellie thought, as she stomped on her ciggie. She kicked open the Mediator's door. "These are for you." She stepped aside and the Guard, seeing Commo, crammed themselves into the office.

"Awha...?" Laure just gaped.

"My Guard!" Commodus said, his eyes lighting up.

"Compliments of Dorotea." Ellie turned on her heel and strode off. Her smoldering cigarette slowly became a small fire.

~*~

Okay, where are we?

Emmy and the General at odds? Check. Darry and her servant inseparable? Check. Xani acting like a scoundrel? Check. LP buying things? Check. Cal still clueless? Check. Building on fire? Check? Everything Dor's fault? Check.

Our work here is done.

Happy Friday the 13th everyone.

END