Title: HSU: Haunted Mishaps
Authors: Ellie and Kendra
Rating: YDWTK-You don't want to know
Timeline: After Emmy's and Darry's, concurrent with Dor's sorta
Disclaimer: We own nada, but we're borrowing to our hearts delight. Sorry George, sorry Stan.
Summary: Kendra and Ellie have some haunted fun.
Note: Yes, we're being self serving, but that was the point, right? Hope I got my history right.

~~*~~

"Ellie! Ellie!" Kendra screeched from her bedroom with panic in her voice.

"What, what's going on?" Ellie asked as she raced into the bedroom in alarm with Logan right behind her.

"I'm stuck, I can't move," Kendra whined as she motioned to the large headdress which was lodged in the closet doorframe.

"Damn...how'd you do that?" Logan mused as he and Ellie laughed at the sight.

"Duh...clawboy, how do you think?" The stuck Ho snapped as she struggled to get loose. "Would you two please stop being amused long enough to help me take this headdress off or at least unwedge me from the doorway!"

"What are you doing with it on anyway? You're not even dressed yet," Ellie mused as she and Logan tried to get the elaborate three foot headdress off the whimpering Ho, but couldn't budge the thing. "Besides I thought you agreed with Darry that you wouldn't wear it since it gave you a headache?"

"Well, I did, but I thought that maybe if I wore the damned thing I'd get used to it."

"Don't look like you did...you forgot to duck!" Logan grinned as Kendra tried to turn her head to glare at him but couldn't move and yelped in pain. "See...that's what you get!"

"Can it, clawboy!

"Make me!"

"Just as soon as I get out of here you are going to wish you'd..."

"Will you two shut up! Can't you please just get along for one evening!" Ellie shouted making the two stop their bickering. "You act like brother and sister!" The annoyed Ho mumbled as she heard gasps of indignation from Kendra and Logan.

"That was...was...just plain..." Kendra stammered.

"Cruel! Evil! Uncalled for..." Logan growled.

"Exactly!"

"Sheesh...see what I mean," Ellie groaned. "Come on Logan, you're going to have to cut her down."

"What?" Kendra asked in shock. "Oh no, you're not going to cut this headdress...its rented, what will I tell the store? And frankly I don't trust claws for brains!"

"Quit griping and shut up!" Ellie ordered as Logan sliced the headdress in half, freeing the Ho before Ellie helped get the remaining piece off her roomie's head while Logan dislodged the other half out of the doorframe.

"Thanks," Kendra sighed as she rubbed her sore head.

"Your welcome," Ellie replied before leaving the bedroom, "I've got to put on those damned heels now...see if I can walk without breaking my ankle."

"Here...try gluing it back together," Logan smirked as he threw the other half of the headdress to the Ho who just shot him a look of death then stuck her tongue out at him.

"Do that again and I'll cut it out!"

"Don't make me hurt you!" Kendra shouted before slamming the door after he walked out, making Ellie just groan loudly.

"Children," Ellie mumbled as she sat on the couch putting on the five-inch heels.

~~*~~

"Are you sure about this costume?" Logan asked as he stood in front of the bed.

"Oh, yeah, it's perfect!" Ellie giggled with delight. "Now let me fix the hem," she added and helped herself up from her bed onto shaky heels. She towered over her EA before leaning down in front of him. She was almost to a crouch before she lost it all. The heels went out from under her, and thankfully, a moment before she landed with a thud on her butt, Logan's hand caught her under the arm.

"You're gonna break your neck."

"Oh, can it, Mother Superior." Ellie snapped and began hemming the black habit.

~~*~~

Ellie, the General, the ‘animal trainer', and the new Professor of Archaeology all surrounded the long blond haired, recently dyed black, Ho. Kendra grimaced as each of the participants braided a strand of hair.

"Ow, could you guys take it easy?" Kendra whined.

"Kendra, love, everyone has costumes to work on before the party. We need to hurry." The General reassured his secretary.

Ellie just grinned at Logan. She'd helped him back out of his costume earlier. Logan gave her a wink.

"It seems I've forgotten to get a costume," Indiana added, sounding a little glum.

"I'm sure we can think of something for you Dr. Jones," Ellie said slyly.

"Yeah, I'm sure Ellie could…OW!" Kendra stopped mid insult as Ellie yanked her hair.

"Oh, sorry," Ellie said sweetly.

"Are you at least almost done?" Kendra questioned as the four worked on the elaborate braids of Cleopatra.

"Yeah, but this gold twine is not wanting to braid in." Obi- Wan said as he squinted at the shiny fabric in his hands.

"And this crown thingy won't stay put," Logan added as he fumbled with the fragile piece of costume with his burly hands.

"Well, my side is almost done," Ellie bragged, then went butt first to the ground as her five-inch heeled feet went out from under her. "I'm okay," she mumbled as everyone snickered.

"El, this black dye better come out like you said," Kendra said through gritted teeth as Logan pinned down the gold crown.

"Trust me." Ellie said from her position on the floor, then struggled to get back to her feet.

Kendra groaned. ~~*~~

"El, since you're sewn into that catsuit, well I was just…I mean, I was…how do you…" Kendra stammered as her roomie helped her shimmy into the body hugging gown of Cleopatra.

"How do I do what?" Ellie wondered as she struggled with the sheer fabric before standing back up to inspect the job.

"You know, how do you get out of the thing to go to the….bathroom?" Kendra whispered.

"Oh…well, I guess…Hell how should I know!" Ellie snapped before storming out the door, momentarily forgetting the high heels. That is until there was a loud crash from the den and the usual, "I'm ok, I'm ok…we can replace that."

"If you're sure you're ok?" Ken asked as she leaned out her bedroom door and found the other Ho spread eagle on the carpet.

"I'm fine…except now I've got to go to the bathroom…thanks a lot, if you hadn't of mentioned it I would have never had the urge," Ellie exclaimed as she slowly stood back up. "Where's Logan? Maybe he can cut me out of this thing." She groaned as she headed to the spare bedroom.

"Good, as long as you're alright, I'm going to run back to the General's office and pick up the earrings that go with this outfit," Kendra shouted as she ran out the door. "Hey maybe you can get Haken to sew you back in the thing…you know I can't sew a stitch!"

"Damn, hadn't thought about getting this outfit back on…"

~~*~~

"I'll see if I can find one in the General's office, just calm down El, you sure Ky doesn't have a sewing kit, I mean she was into knitting," Kendra suggested as she spoke to her flustered roomie on the phone at her desk. "Alright, alright, no need to get hostile…I'll just search around here…there has to be an emergency sewing kit or something we can use to sew you back into the catsuit. I'll be there in a few minutes…yeah, yeah..just going to grab the earrings and go. Fine…you do that, and I'll check around here…no I don't think dental floss will work…do you? Bye."

"Dental floss, do I dare ask?" The General questioned with a glint in his eyes as he strolled into the office, making the Ho whip her head around to see him. And in the process nearly slapping herself silly with the braids.

"Oh…that hurts," Kendra groaned as she rubbed her cheek and the General just grinned madly before kissing the offended area.

"Tell me about it, those braids can be deadly!" He laughed with mischief. "Though I've always wondered what you grrls see in the Padawan braid," the General mused as he fingered the Padawan braid he now wore with Darry's pick for his costume. "This might be my chance to see what all the thrill is about."

"Really?" Kendra squeaked as the General stalked to her and grabbed a hand full of braids and pulled her to him then kissed her till her knees threatened to give way.

"I think I could really like this braid addiction some of you grrls have," he purred, "shall we test this theory?" The General smiled before leading the Ho by her braids into his office and slamming the door shut behind him.

~~*~~

"Where have you been?" Ellie demanded as Kendra finally stumbled into the apartment. "I've been waiting here for….for… too long for this sewing kit! And what happened to you?" She asked as she noticed that her roomie was wearing the General's long black coat over her costume.

"Oh…little mishap, did you know this dress rips easily? Think we can get the big guy to sew us both up?" Kendra asked as she took off the long coat revealing the ripped seam. "And before I forget…here maybe this will work!" She added as she tossed the dental floss to Ellie. "I kinda got distracted and forgot to look for a sewing kit…but I did find that in the General's bathroom."

"Oh brother…this is going to be so good, held together by dental floss," Ellie groaned, "and don't tell me what you in the General were doing…I don't even want to know."

"Good then I won't…but remind me to never take these braids out," Kendra giggled as Ellie just collapsed onto the couch with a heavy sigh. ~~*~~

"Haken das Hansel!" The large gladiator bellowed.

"Yes, yes, I know, I bought your costume," Ellie sighed and patted the big oaf's arm.

"Freuline Ellie das feline freuline," he added as he fumbled with the stitching needle with his large hands.

"Tell me again Kendra, why you thought Haken would be good at handling a sharp object really close to my body?"

Kendra just smiled from her spot on the couch where she was ogling the spectacle.

And hour later, as night began to fall, Ellie was finally sewn back into her cat suit and Kendra's rip was mended.

"Pretty good job, Hak-er-Hansel." Kendra said as she eyed his handy work. "Who would have known a muscled up lug could sew."

"Freulines glad, ya?"

"Yep, big guy, you did great. Why don't you head to the party and we'll meet you there." Ellie saw the big German to the door and turned with an evil grin to her roomie. "Now on to the maze." Then she cackled. Then she coughed as the cackle tickled her throat.

"No, no way. You know I'm a wimp with haunted houses," Kendra protested and looked around for someplace safe from Ellie's prodding.

"Oh, come on. JenJen would be disappointed if we didn't come. She arranged for the whole thing."

"Fine, but I'm not going with only you."

"Fine, Indy can come with us."

"Where's Logan?"

"Don't know. Maybe he went to terrorize Dorotea and her men, who knows."

~~*~~

"Quit being such a wuss," Ellie snapped as the trio of Catwoman, Cleopatra, and Archaeologist approached the maze.

"Are you sure I don't need a costume?" Dr. Jones questioned.

"Look, I couldn't get one on such short notice. You look fine," Ellie huffed.

"But is a leather coat, a gun, a whip, and a fedora really a costume?"

"Could you just stop being so damn thorough for five minutes!" As Ellie raised her voice in frustration at the good Professor, she simultaneously reached an arm behind her and snagged Kendra as she tried to sneak away.

"El-liee!" Kendra whined and tried to get free.

"It'll be all right," Dr. Jones comforted the frightened Ho as he wound his arm with hers, and Ellie did the same on her other side. "You know, Cleopatra was the first woman Pharaoh of Egypt. And she was the daughter of…" He trailed off when he saw Ellie roll her eyes. "Well, let's go in shall we."

JenJen moved from where she's been petting her iguana warily, and greeted the trio.

"Welcome to HSU's Haunted Maze of Terror. Don't touch the actors, they won't touch you. If you're frightened and need to leave the attraction, tough shit, just keep walking, the exit is at the far end somewhere. Please do not enter if you have a history of a heart condition, high blood pressure, think you might be pregnant, or you're just a big chicken."

Kendra moved to run, but Ellie and Dr. Jones held her fast.

"Blah, blah, blah, enjoy the ride." Jen finished and pulled back the black tarp that hung from the tall hedges. It was completely dark out now and with all the exterior lights of campus were turned off for the event, the maze was pitch black inside.

Kendra clung to Ellie, Ellie reached for the Professor, the Professor put his hand on his gun. They rounded the first corner and came to the first split in the hedges.

"Logan and I used to play chase in here, I should know the way," Ellie whispered in the eerie silence.

"Just get me out of here," Kendra whispered with fright.

"This way," Ellie said and pointed to the left. They turned and disappeared behind the bushes. A moment later a chainsaw sound could be heard, and promptly, two Ho's and a professor came scrambling around the hedge and down the right passageway at full speed.

~~*~~

Not long after, the trio took a breather from there running. From what Ellie could figure they were three fourths of the way through. They'd ran most of the maze, ducking from ghouls and dodging gushing fake blood. All in all they managed pretty well. Kendra even still had most of her color.

"Okay, I think it's just around this corner a bit." Ellie said reassuringly as the group trod on.

Just as they rounded a corner, Ellie turned her head and sniffed. Something smelled familiar and she thought she'd heard a soft snikting sound. She pondered this, but it was too late.

Logan jumped from behind the bush, claws unsheathed and mere inches from the group. He growled loudly and advanced on the trio.

Ellie stood her ground. Kendra, so startled, didn't know who it was and screamed within an inch of her life. Dr. Jones pulled his gun.

A shot rang out.

Back at the party, a few dancing Ho's slowed for a minute and tried to decide if they'd heard gunshots.

In the maze, the trio and one intruder all stopped dead in their tracks. One of them literally.

Dr. Jones comforted a sobbing Kendra. But Ellie knelt over a fallen Logan. She touched his arm where the bullet had grazed him, then watched it heal. She breathed a sigh of relief.

"You could have hurt him, you know." Ellie turned to her cute professor.

"Oh, you know I wouldn't have. It would have upset you, though I can't imagine why. And I wouldn't upset you on purpose." The archaeologist holstered his gun and kissed the EA Director on the cheek.

Beside them, Kendra stood and gained her color, a lot more color. She was turning bright red, fuming with anger.

"Logan! Claw boy, huh? I'm gonna kick his little mutant ass!" Kendra screamed. She walked over to a small shrub and crouched down, grabbing it by the trunk. She grunted and pulled, and Ellie and Dr. Jones watched in amazement as she pulled the whole damn thing out of the ground! "Come here, you mutant piece of scum. You're dead meat!" Kendra raised the victimized plant over her head and charged after a recovering Logan. Logan's eyes widened as he saw the rampaging Ho. But he was a smart mutant. He got up and high tailed it right out of the maze, unfortunately with the enraged Kendra close behind wielding a bush.

~~*~~

"Oh look it's the happy couple now," Ellie groaned as Kendra and Logan finally joined her and the good Dr at the table, the party already in full swing. "So?"

"So, what?" Kendra sighed as she gingerly sat down and grabbed Ellie's drink and downed it quickly as Ellie looked on in surprise at her roomie's actions.

"You both survived, well…kinda," Ellie mused as she reached over and pulled a chunk of shrub out of Logan's costume.

"We came to an agreement," Logan growled as Kendra snarled back.

"I don't beat him senseless with innocent plant life."

"And I don't scare her with the claws."

"Good then we can all have fun tonight!" Ellie beamed as she watched Ken and Logan both grab drinks from a passing ghoul and downing them quickly. "See, you two shouldn't have been running around getting hot and sweaty and…I'm not going to put up with … Hell who am I kidding…dance anyone?"

~~*~~

"You just get on your hands and knees and bob up and down," JenJen explained to an unknowing Frosh Ho. "Here, watch me." Jen maneuvered her costume so that she could kneel, and leaned down into the big tub of not water, but rocks margaritas by the gallon. With a few skilled movements she arose with her prize in her mouth. A wanger!

"So that's what she'd been perfecting in the kitchen. Not cookies, clay wangers." Kendra said in surprise. "What a Ho. She even fired them so they wouldn't get soggy in the bucket full of alcohol."

The ‘Vampire Lestat' General watched as groups of Ho's tried their prowess at bobbing for wangers. None were as talented as JenJen. It wasn't long before she was sidled up beside the General, whispering things in his ear.

"So you, uh, wanna go back and I can bob for some real wangers?" She said in a sultry voice in the General's ear. His face brightened and he kissed her deeply. Then he bared his fake fangs and pretended to bite her neck before he whisked her from the room.

~~*~~

A good deal of time later, the General returned, vampire costume left behind with a satisfied Ho. He wore all black now, and his short cropped hair was brushed neatly back. He looked like a guy right out of 'The Outsiders'.

Ellie stalked her prey from across the room, dangling her whip dangerously at her side. When she caught his eye, she seduced him with a feral grin. She did her best runway walk as she approached him. Till she got a step in front of him and her heels reminded her why she wasn't a damn model.

"Ooomph!" Ellie gasped as she fell right into the General's arms. "Well, this was where I was aiming to be anyway," she said huskily to the General as she looked into his bright blue eyes. "So you from the wrong side of the tracks?"

"Yeah, wanna make something of it?" The General replied in a poor rendition of an Italian brat.

"I think I might just have to whip you boy," Ellie teased and slapped her whip against her leg for emphasis, then tried to hide a grimace of pain at slapping herself to hard.

"Come on kitty, let's go play with some string," the General purred and swept the Ho out the door.

~~*~~

Sometime later, Kendra and Logan sat alone at a table, both gulping from their glasses.

"What number is that?" Kendra slurred.

"I don't know, but I'm winning," Logan said with only a slight stutter, his healing ability shielding him from most of the affects of the alcohol.

"Are not." Kendra pouted.

Logan gave her a strange look, then pulled her to her feet. "Let's dance."

Kendra was so drunk she just looked at her furry enemy in his black habit all the way up to the top of his head, and laughed. She took his arm and led him to the dance floor.

Ellie returned from her romp with the 'Greaser', and nearly dropped to the floor and not by way of the heels. On the dance floor was Cleopatra and Mother Superior dancing to 'Crush' by Jennifer Page. What had she missed? I mean she and the General had only gone at it for 30 minutes because it had taken and hour to get out and then back into the Catwoman costume.

Ellie just shook her head and tiptoed over to the bar. "I need a drink." A costume-less bartender just stared down at the bar top.

"Hmm? Did you say something?" Judy finally said.

"Never mind, I'll hit the bobbing barrel." Ellie leaned over the bar and grabbed a glass and headed over to where JenJen was still teaching some Frosh to bob for wangers. She dunked the glass inside and filled it with lukewarm margarita, then chugged it. After downing the last drop, she thought she heard an EA alarm in the distance. She just shrugged and filled her glass again.

Across the room Kendra finished her drunken dance with Logan and went in search of the General. If there was one thing for sure about Kendra when she was tipsy, it was that she was horny. She found him requesting music from the DJ.

"Oh, Kendra dear, I was just coming to find you for a dance."

She didn't wait for him to continue. She grabbed him by his black shirt and dragged him to the closest closet.

~~*~~

A good deal of time later, Kendra and the General were still in the closet, and Ellie was way past drunk. She sat at a table, alone, and snickered at a group of freshmen trying to do the time warp.

The song ended and the giggling Ho's all collapsed into their chairs. Then Ellie grimaced as the opening chords of Vanilla Ice started. She hated this song. It reminded her that her hot hockey hunk at left her and run off with another hot hockey hunk. She grimaced again at the slashy thoughts(close your eyes wench).

"I've missed you," a deep voice suddenly whispered in her ear. Ellie turned slowly to put a face to the voice, and saw the last person she expected. "I'm back for you, my love," Syd said proudly. She looked up at the tall figure. He was dressed in tight black spandex pants and a brightly colored, billowy silk top. She followed his curves all the way down, pausing slightly at the bulge, giggled, then looked down at his feet where he was adorned with figure skates.

"And who are you supposed to be?"

"We're figure skaters."

"We?"

"Yes, Mo has returned for Kendra as well." Syd backed up a bit and pulled a dejected Mo forward. He was dressed the same, even his shirt was the same colors, but inverted.

"Well, don't you two look the cute couple," Ellie stood and began speaking loudly. She was a loud drunk. Especially, to two men who ran off to be all slashy together. "Get out, we don't want you. Besides you've already been replaced."

Syd frowned, and took a step toward the Ho in tight black leather. "But, Ellie, I want you."

"Oh, put a sock in it," she snapped, then moved her gaze obviously to his groin. "Oh, it looks like you already did." She added nastily and spun precariously on her heel and wobbled off.

Syd watched her go, his jaw dropping to the floor. Mo tried to hide a small smile. And Cal, seeing the two men, ambled over.

"So, how'd you get the sock in there just right?" Cal asked the men, trying to act macho.

Syd put his hand directly over the Padawannabe's face and pushed. Cal fell backward and the two hockey hunks just walked away.

~~*~~

Ellie managed to make it to the admin steps and plop down gracefully. She lit a cigarette and tried to clear the haze in her head from the alcohol.

"See, I told you that you and I are meant to be. Not that silly girl…" Mo stopped short when he saw that Ellie was sitting on the steps. "I'll be in the car." He stepped by her, avoiding her gaze.

"So your mind's made up?" Syd asked.

Ellie inhaled a drag, then let it out slowly. "Yes, I'm flattered, but things have changed."

"Very well, then." Syd kissed her cheek. Ellie's remote EA alarm buzzed in her pocket (yes, the catwoman costume has pockets, where do you think I keep my cigarettes?). She just rolled her eyes then watched Syd go. She crushed out her cigarette as his car left the drive and disappeared onto the road.

"Is everything all right?" Dr. Jones' voice soothed from behind her.

"Yeah, nothing another cigarette can't fix," Ellie said and lit up again.

"Yeah, think I'll have one, too," Jones said and took one from Ellie.

"Yeah, and I'll have a cigar," Logan growled and appeared as well.

The three sat on the steps puffing on their smokes, and all seemed right at HSU.

"Now let's get back and get you out of that outfit," Logan said gruffly.

"I second that," Jones said slyly.

Ellie just grinned.

And somewhere inside, Kendra and the General were still in a closet.

~fin~