Title: Complaint Department
Author: Kendra
Rating: WT (What's that)
Summary: Complaints and puppies
Archive: ok
Disclaimer: Same old stuff different day...I own nothing.
Note: All mistakes are mine, started out writing one thing and it lead to this. There wasn't anything on TV; I had to keep out of trouble some how. This is just a fluff piece nothing major just a bunch of chatter! And I stole blatantly from everyone's emails! Thanks!

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"Speak up, I can barely hear you!" Kendra shouted over the sound of the Jacuzzi. "There, that's much better," she winced as she held the phone away from her ear to hear the next complaint. "Nope, sorry... yelping, barking, whining... can't help you, that's Kymira's department!" The Ho smiled before putting the cordless phone down.

"Who was that?" The General questioned as he glanced at his secretary over the paperwork he was reading as he lounged in the warm water with her.

"Laure, she was calling about...opps just a sec," the busy secretary interrupted before grabbing the phone once more. "Puppy, complaint...call Ky, no the General is busy he is in the midst of his aquatherapy...Darry's orders. NO you can't El, its out of the question...there's not enough room anyway, go screw around with your claw bo...go screw your closet lightbulb in...now leave me alone!" Kendra ordered as she slammed the phone down and then smiled brightly as she noticed the General looking at her with a raised brow over his papers. Maybe moving the office to the Jacuzzi for the day wasn't such a bright idea after all the Ho thought, then changed her mind as she noticed the water trailing down the General's chest.

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"You realize we'll never find anything in here don't you?" Jen whispered to Dorotea as they both sat on the edge of her desk and watched Giles climb the ladder to put one of the books in his hand in the correct spot.

"Yeah, but its not like we really use it anyway," Dorotea sighed as Giles slid his glasses down the bridge of his nose to read the title of the next book. "But you know what's even more amazing?"

"What" Jen quizzed.

"He actually works...I didn't know an EA did that? I mean LP works, well kinda. Ok so he just annoys the hell out of Brenda but still. An EA working..." Dor remarked in astonishment. "Maybe I can get him to clean my car, you think?"

"Yeah right," Jen snorted.

"Dorotea, would you please bring me that stack of books beside the table," Giles requested as the Librarian's eyes glazed over at the sight of her new EA climbing up and down the ladder.

"Get lost Jen, I need to test out the ladder," Dor ordered as the Padawan Ho grabbed her backpack and scampered out as the Librarian prowled in the direction of her new book boy.

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"What you're trying to say is... it wasn't your fault?" Tara mused as she sat at the bar talking with Judy.

"Exactly, I mean it must be that inferior shipment of linseed oil," the bartender sighed as she thought back to how the General could have hurt his back while 'testing' the bar top.

"Possible..." the Frosh Ho nodded in agreement.

"Kendra thinks I used to much oil, but you can never use too much when it comes to keeping this baby shining like the sun," Judy smiled with adoration as she ran her bar rag lovingly over the gleaming surface. "No, it was inferior linseed oil which lead to the traumatic events of the General's condition...but then again, could be Dorotea's fault." She added as Tara just continued nodding her head in agreement.

"You're going to stick with 'inventory' for a while right?" Tara asked as she sat her rum and coke on the designer coaster before her.

"Yeah..." Judy sighed longingly, "atleast until he's fully recovered and I have a chance to strip this old oil off the bar top." Judy suggested as she buffed the bar where a drop of sweat from Tara's glass fell.

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"There is such a thing as dry land," Darry said with a roll of her eyes as she gave a quick glance to the chastised secretary who stood by the doorway watching the Nurse examine the General.

"So what you're saying is, there is such a thing as too much aquatherapy," Kendra smirked as the General gave her a smile.

"Yes, I do feel canceling all appointments and staying in the Jacuzzi all day is too much," Darry snapped before standing at the General's office door and showing the other Ho out to her own office. "Hold all the General's calls, I need to examine him more... thoroughly," she ordered before slamming the door.

"Damn," Kendra muttered as she stomped a wet foot against the carpet.

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"Is what I did so wrong?" Laure asked Dande as they sat on the Cottage's porch sipping iced tea. "His things did make such a lovely fire."

"Well..."

"I mean the Rat Bastard did deserve it right?"

"Well..."

"He is spoiled...petulant...confused...and has a slight problem with wanting to rule the world, right?" Laure once again asked the Wench. "Granted with Xani momentarily unable to...to..ah...perform...it does make things so much more complicated."

"Well..."

"Good, I'm glad you agree...and can you believe what he's wearing? That look is so not him," the mediator sighed. "I'm so glad we've had this little talk, I feel so much better listening to another woman's opinions."

"Right, anytime," Dande smiled as both women sat quietly drinking their tea.

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"I can't believe he's walking around in that thing?" Kymira snorted as she and Ellie walked towards the Admin building and glanced to the lone figure sitting upon his throne. A throne,which now leaned dangerously close to collapsing along with the platform, it sat upon.

"You know, he does look pretty good in that color tablecloth though," Ellie remarked as they stopped to glance the RB's way once more.

"Hell, after the bonfire, that's probably all he has to wear since Laure burned everything," Ky grinned.

"True, true...do you think he sleeps with it?" El asked with disgust.

"Sure of it...and maybe we'd better not tell Kendra that, she'll have nightmares for weeks," Kymira suggested as the two Ho's continued their walk.

"Ah...sure, won't mention how he was clutching the tablecloth and making purring sounds either," Ellie grinned as Kymira shot her a disapproving glance. "Hey, I gotta have some fun!"

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Later that Evening:

Emmy, finally back from a trip to see her EA, was walking...correction being walked by her over enthusiastic puppy who was pulling the new owner behind at breakneck pace as the leash stayed firmly between puppy teeth.

"Oh great..." Emmy growled, stopping the puppy instantly as it whimpered in surprise when the Ho saw the General at the opposite end of the hall. "Let's go this way," she suggested to the puppy as she picked her new pet up, eyed the General with a stare, did a quick hand gesture and proceeded to walk to the nearest exit.

"Fine, I needed to check my schedule again anyway," the General stated to himself as he turned around and went back to his office and slammed the door behind him.

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"What?" Kymira shouted as she answered the phone once more. It had been ringing non-stop with complaints about Emmy's puppy while the Diva had been gone. "What am I suppose to do about it? I don't own no stinkin dog... my department?...I think not!" And with that Ky slammed the phone down. " Do I have complaint department tattooed on my forehead or something?" She mumbled as the phone rang once more.