*******

Friday the thirteenth had come and gone, and the campus of Hestia State had most assuredly not gone unaffected. The smell of burnt carpet still lingered in the hallways of the empty Administration building.

Several Hos sat under a large sprawling Oak, soaking up the unusually warm autumn weather. Ellie and Kendra had just finished once again recounting, word for word, what the General and the Diva had said to each other.

Tara sighed and rubbed her temples. "I knew I should have left campus this weekend. The lodge is empty, quiet... headache free."

"*You* should have left?!" Kymira snorted. "*You* don't have to deal with a charred office, or with a Praetorian on the verge of going Alpha, as he marches that sniveling little brat's old glory guard around." She turned to Jen and said imploringly, "I can see it in his eyes, I'm losing him to those old nasty ways of theirs."

"There, there," her roommate soothed. "We'll figure something out."

"Besides if you hadn't been here, you'd have missed 'General under the fire sprinklers'," Kendra noted with a grin and received a most appreciative smile in response. "Not an uncommon experience around here, but it was your first."

"True... I mean, yes, true, I got wet General cuddling, but..." Tara shook her head. "I don't think that's worth all the stuff that's happening around here."

"If we can get Dor to, sorta, y'know, undo the guard?" Jen mused. "That'll get Quintus and Commo straightened out."

"Nothing's ever gonna straighten out that crazy little SOB but a good old fashioned steam-rolling," Kymira growled. "What Laure sees in that whimpering, twitching, whining, little... Rat Bastard! I'll never understand."

"I just can't..." Tara struggled to find the words. "What is the Dean doing with an ** EA **!?" she finally cried.

There was a moment's pause, before the other Hos burst out laughing at the distressed freshman's consternation.

"You're just upset because you got rid of Sharpe to impress the Dean and she didn't notice," Ellie laughed.

"I did not get 'rid' of Sharpe!" Tara snapped. "And I sure as hell didn-- *wouldn't* do it to impress the Dean!" Her protestations only made the Hos laugh harder. "Richard and I parted mutually and agreeably," she insisted, her voice growing sad and soft. "He wasn't happy here, and I was too into the General to make things better for him."

Ellie sighed. "But, Tara, as a Ho, it's not your job to make things 'better' for him. You enjoy him, he enjoys you, enjoyment happens. There's not supposed to be any worry or work involved." She gestured airily with her cigarette, "Gather ye General appointments while ye may..." She flashed a wicked grin and waggled her eyebrows. "...and boink yer EAs in the meantime!"

Kendra reached out and gave Tara's shoulder a friendly squeeze. "But, one can live by General alone, and be completely happy," she defended.

"I know that," Tara replied. "I can and do. I don't need another man," she said firmly. "Oh, the eye candy about this place, that's just... a fabulous benefit to living here. But I really don't want another guy cluttering up my life."

"Well, then, what's your problem with the Dean having an EA?" Jen asked.

"I just sorta..." Tara flailed.

"Worship her?" Kymira finished dryly.

"What?!" Tara started, only to be stunned by the renewed laughter. "*What*?"

Ellie ground out her cigarette, making sure it was fully extinguished before answering. "We realize you're new around here, and that you're going to make a few errors in judgment while you find your feet, but..." She shook her head.

"We don't need no Ho-worship 'round here," Kymira finished. "We need Ho's!"

"I don't worship the Dean," Tara sputtered, then grew red at the disbelieving looks she got in return. "I *don't*... I mean, of course, I'd like to be more like her...I dig that Alpha thing she's got going. Though..." she trailed off in confusion.

The other Ho's waited for her to gather her thoughts. This was the freshman's process, and it was too warm and cozy a day to put much thought into anything, anyway.

"I wouldn't mind being more like the Nurse," Tara added quietly.

Ellie chuckled. "My Master has it down, doesn't she? Now, *there's* a Ho!" she said with pride.

"But then there's Judy," Tara said thoughtfully. "She's got that whole, 'mess with my bar and you mess with me and my bat approach,' which, strangely, doesn't clash with her more gentler, talk to me, bartender thing."

Kendra grinned. "My Master is the heart and soul of Ho State."

"My Master has gone out of her flipping head," Kymira grumbled. "But," she added grudgingly, "without her, this place would've burnt down, fallen into a swamp and never been rebuilt -- as we would have argued ourselves past caring."

Jen grinned, "My Master can resurrect an entire Imperial guard while boinking two EAs."

"Pissing off *my* Master to such an extent, thats she's kicked Commo out--"

"--gone all wenchy," Ellie added smugly.

"--and enacted vengeance upon Dor, by playing snuggle bunnies with Xanatos last night," Kendra continued.

"And now Commo's gone and made Quintus all alpha-y," growled Kymira.

"Yeah," Jen grinned. "It's a proper Ho mess, with good ol' Xani right in the middle of it."

"We've got to do something," Tara stated.

"You've got it in for Xani because the Dean has it in for him," Jen scoffed. "If you gave him a chance--"

"No, no," Tara said impatiently. "Not him... Actually, to be truthful? I really envy Dor her boys. I mean, c'mon, who wouldn't wanna be snuggled between those two? In a strictly hypothetical, aesthetic sense, that is," she added quickly. "Anyway, that's not important. What's important is that we try to get things back on the right track around here."

"How do you propose we do that?" Kendra asked.

"Isn't this a job for the Wench?" Ellie grumbled.

"Get rid of that damn guard," Kymira snapped. "That's the best place to start. Dor got 'em here, she can send 'em back, right?"

"She's locked herself in her car," Jen offered.

The sound of several cars coming up the drive caught the notice of the Ho's. The Nurse's BMW, with the Dean at the wheel, led the procession. Tara stood up with a steely determination in her eyes. "I'll start with the Diva," she said quietly. "Jen, why don't you see if you can get Dor out of the car and back to her spell book?"

Jen shrugged, then stood, "I'll try, but--"

Kymira shot to her feet, "Yeah! Action instead of reaction. That's good! It's time we Junior Staffers... along with the freshman," she gestured at Tara, "start acting like the Ho's we are... and kick some serious Praetorian butt!"

Kendra leapt up, and pumped her fist in the air. "Woo hoo! There's a certain General, wet or not, who needs a good talking to," she whooped.

"Right," said Ellie, languidly lighting another cigarette. "Go get 'im, roomie."

The other four looked down at her questioning silence.

"What?" she asked. "Oh, okay, fine." She pushed herself to her feet. "All for one, rah-rah, blah, blah, blah..." She strode off, calling over her shoulder. "I'll show all y'all how a real Ho acts in a crisis situation."

"Er?" Tara said as the EA director disappeared back toward the dorm. "Oookay..."

"Right!" said Kymira, a frightening sparkle in her look. "Let's get to it, shall we?"

With a quick, ritualistic, group high-five, the foursome broke and set off with purpose.

***