Title: HSU - The Day After
Author: Emmy
Rating: FAH (Fat and Happy)
Disclaimer: George, don't look here. Just keep on messing up Ep 2 and leave us alone.
Notes: I was watching a little show today and got a little idea.

"I'm not moving," Emmy said, lounging back on the couch.

"Me neither," Judy said, lounging back on the other end of the couch.

"I think I ate too much yesterday," Emmy said.

"Yup," Judy said. "Me too."

"I didn't," Sere said, appearing out of nowhere and settling down in front of the fireplace.

"Shut up," Emmy and Judy said.

"Hey, I'm injured," Kendra said, limping into the living room. "Don't tell me to shut up."

"Shut up," Emmy said. "We weren't talking to you."

"Oh, okay," Kendra said, gingerly laying on her side on the floor. And then she glanced warily over at Judy, checking to make sure she didn't have any heavy or sharp objects clutched in her hands.

"Chill out, padawan," Judy said. "I couldn't move fast right now even if the General were half-nekkid in front of that fire."

"Oh really?" the General said as he entered the room.

"Besides which," Judy said as she leered at the General, "I have more important matters on my mind."

"Promise?" Kendra asked hesitantly.

"Don't make me throw you back into Ho 101 with Tara," Emmy said. "Ho's get mad, they get over it. Dead, buried, in the past. Right, Judy?"

"Mmm-hmm," Judy replied distractedly, still making eyes at the General.

"So what are you ladies up to today?" the General asked, sitting down in a chair next to the fireplace.

"We're going to listen to you read," Judy said with a grin.

"Over here," Julia said, standing in the doorway with a camera, taking a group picture as everyone turned to her with "Huh?" looks on their faces.

"Glad I missed that one," Ellie said, walking in behind Julia. "Hey!" she protested as Julia turned quickly and a flash blinded her eyes.

"So what shall I read?" the General asked.

"Damn Elf Bowling," Dorotea growled as she stomped into the room.

"Here," Emmy said, grabbing a book from underneath the couch and handing it to him.

The General gave her a suspicious look. "I have a bad feeling about this."

Emmy blinked. "Whatever for?"

"I have the distinct impression I am being set up," he said.

"And you love it," Julia said, taking a seat on the floor.

The General chuckled and glanced down at the book, wrinkling his brow when he read the cover. He opened the book and scanned the first page. Then he looked up with a dubious expression on his face.

"Is there anything to drink in here?" Dorotea asked, looking around the room.

"You sound just like Laure," Ellie said.

"Speaking of Laure," the General said. "Where is she?"

"Don't change the subject," Judy said. "Just read."

The General glanced around at the expectant faces of his grrls. Then he shrugged and began to read. "Every Who down in Whoville like Christmas a lot. But the Grinch who lived just north of Whoville did not."

"Right on," Kendra said.

"The Grinch hated Christmas, the whole Christmas season. Please don't ask why, no one quite knows the reason."

"Well," Dorotea said, "he was green and funny looking, to begin with."

The General smiled as he continued, "It could be perhaps that his shoes were too tight. It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right. But I think that the most likely reason of all may have been that his heart was two sizes too small."

"Hey, Ellie, pass the M&M's," Emmy said.

"I thought you said you ate too much," Judy said.

"They're M&M's. They're not real food."

"But whatever the reason, his heart or his shoes, he stood there on Christmas Eve hating the Who's."

~*~

"If you loved me, you would let me go."

"No."

"I didn't mean to shoot her. She was in the way. It's all her fault. If you loved me, you would see that."

"Commo, no bows, no arrows."

"But--"

"Drink this," Laure said, shoving a glass of wine at him.

Commodus took the wine glass from Laure's hand and set it down on the table as he brought her hand to his lips. "Please," he said, kissing her fingertips, "just one more hunting trip." His lips brushed across the inside of her wrist. "I promise to stay far away from the lodge."

Laure gazed into his pleading eyes. "You're not going anywhere," she sighed as she pushed him down to the bed.

~*~

"He puzzled and puzzed 'til his puzzler was sore. And then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more."

~*~

"He shoots....HE SCORES!!" Xani exclaimed triumphantly, raising his arms in the air as his elf slid straight down the deck and into the 300 zone, stopping just short of the sharks.

"I think you cheated," Pelham sniffed.

"Sore loser," Xani said. "I, Dingle Kringle, won fair and square. I take your title as Father Christmas, I get your old wife, and ALL the toys!" he said with a sharp gleam in his eye.

Pelham crossed his arms and gave Xani a haughty look. "You are taking this a bit too seriously."

"Sore. Loser." Xani said, poking Pelham's chest with his index finger. Then an evil grin spread across his face.

"What?"

"Double or nuthin'," Xani said, clicking on the Start button.

Pelham remained stoic, arms folded. "You're going down."

~*~

"He brought back their snoops and their tringlers and fuzzles. Brought back their pantookas, their dopplers and their..." the General tried to suppress a grin,"...elusive wuzzles."

"Oooh, say it again," Julia said with a smile while the other grrls laughed.

The General gave Julia The Look and said, "Eluuusive. Wuzzles."

"I dunno," Ellie snickered, "there's something about the wuzzles that kills the mood."

The General turned and gave Ellie The Look.

"Or not," Ellie gulped.

The General smiled and returned to his reading. "He brought everything back, all the food for the feast. He, he himself, the Grinch, carved the roast beast."

"Oh yeah, that makes me hungry," Emmy said sarcastically.

"Welcome Christmas, bring your cheer," the General continued. "Cheer to all Who's far and near. Christmas day is in our grasp, so long as we have hands to clasp. Christmas day will always be, just as long as we have we."

"Awww, that's sweet," Dorotea said.

"And even sweeter the way he reads it than Boris Karloff," Judy said with a big smile on her face.

The General finished reading slowly as he closed the book, "Welcome Christmas while we stand, heart to heart and hand in hand." He looked up at his grrls, who sat smiling at him, a pleasant, cozy glow filling the room.

"Get him!" arose a sudden shout as every grrl lunged out of her seat. They grabbed the General, pulled him out of his chair, and pushed him out of the room and into the hallway, carelessly grabbing jackets and boots as they shoved him out the door and into the snow.

"What are you doing?" The General tried to sound offended in the midst of his laughter. "I read you all a very nice story about loving one another, and then you abuse me like this."

The grrls paused. And then they grinned.

The General took a step back.

And then en masse they pounced him, tackling him down to the ground, their hands working quickly to form snowballs before he could scramble up to do the same.

Amid shrieks and laughter and large balls of snow hurtling through the air in rapid-fire succession, a twittering group of Princesses gathered at the edges of the forest, their leader, one Bijoux LaRue, plotting their next move against the women of HSU.

~*~

"You missed the 'C'," Darry said, her head raised to examine Cic's chocolate handiwork on her stomach. "It's C-H, not just H."

Cic grabbed the chocolate bottle and added a 'C'. "There," he said, "how's that?"

Darry glanced down at her stomach, the words, "CHAPPY HANUKAH" drizzled on her skin. She smiled and looked up. "Close enough," she said, lunging at the servant.

The End