Title: HSU: Finding a Cure Pt. 2/2
Author: Judy
Rating: SSB (Self-Serving Bartender)
Disclaimer: Don¹t own the General, etc.etc.etc.
Archive: yes, please, dear Nurse
Summary: The conclusion: There's trouble brewing in the cafe...er...bar.
And this story just kept getting longer and longer... :D

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY BAR????"

All eyes fell on Judy as she stood rigidly in front of the bar. But before anyone could react, she promptly fainted. Not one of the delicate thuds she had been practicing not long before. But a crash-to-the-floor, face first, all out drop into oblivion.

A hushed expectation filled the cappuchino-slimed cafe.

"Do you think...?" Laure breathed.

"Could she be...?" Kymira looked at Ellie and JenJen.

"She better be." Emmy warned, holding on to a panting Lasher.

"Oh Mastah darling!" Dande cried from the back of the room as Qui-Gon rushed in.

"Are you all right, my Wishpuff?" the Alpha Male pulled his Wench into his arms. "The baby?"

"We're all right," Dande snuggled in his arms. "But Judith screamed something about the bar and fainted!"

Qui-Gon gently laid Dande on a cappuchino-stained yellow chintz settee. "I'll go see to her."

But before he could move, a firm hand clasped his shoulder.

"No, Mastah. I'll deal with this." Obi-Wan strode purposefully--or as well as he could without boots in the slippery goo on the floor--to where the stricken bartender lay.

The General knelt down and pulled Judy into his arms. Her face was smeared with the frothy mess and cinnamon specks. Wiping her face gently, Obi-Wan used a touch of the Force to bring her back.

"Judith dahling," he murmured as she groaned. "Judith, love, come back to me."

"Careful!" Dor hissed as she cradled her newly christened cat. "Don't make her thud or anything!"

"Dor," Emmy glared. "Shut. Up." Lasher growled.

Dor responded with a rude gesture. Rowan spat.

"Ladies, ladies, you're not helping matters," Qui-Gon stood behind them as all the Ho's had crowded around Obi-Wan and Judy. Looks ranged from hopeful to fearful.

"Back. Off. Hippie Man," Emmy snapped. "This is not your concern."

"Yeah," said Dor. "This is Ho business. Go take care of Dande."

"Did we just agree?" Emmy's eyes were wide.

"Oh hell." Dor's shoulders slumped.

"Quiet," shushed Kymira, who was peering over her Master's shoulder. "She's coming to!"

The room went silent. Except for Kendra who started backing towards the patio door, Tara in tow. "I really hope she's all right and all, but if she is, she's gonna kill me," she said in a desperate whisper.

"Calm down, she'll understand," Tara whispered back. "But just in case, I'll go get the car running." She slipped out. Kendra bit her lip as she anxiously waited for her Master to awaken.

Judy groaned again, her eyes blinking several times. "Wha? What happened?" She sounded groggy.

"You fainted, love," said Obi-Wan as he brushed a kiss against her forehead.

Judy began to struggle a bit in his arms and several Ho's groaned in defeat. Was she still Wenchy?

"I don't faint, Obi-Wan. You know that." It certainly sounded like the Ho Judy.

The General grinned. He reached out with his feelings. "Judith?" He quirked a delicious eyebrow.

Judy's eyes flashed. "If you're going to look at me like that, you'd better do something about it."

"Yes, ma'am!" Obi-Wan pulled her up hard against him and captured her mouth in a hot kiss. Or tried to. Judy pushed him away. His face fell in dismay. Surely, his Force sense wasn't that off. Ho's gasped in dismay.

"Ugh! You taste like cappuchino. Really bad cappuchino!" Judy struggled and looked around wildly. What was going on? Everyone was staring at her like she had sprouted wings and was trying to fly.

"WHAT??" she exploded. No one said anything.

"Judith," Obi-Wan said softly. "Look at the bar."

Judy turned around slowly. A lump formed in her throat. Her beautiful bar. What had happened to it? Not just the brown goo and froth everywhere. But the big screen TV was gone. The high tables and bar chairs. The wooden fixtures, including her beloved wooden window blinds. All gone. Replaced by.....

"YELLOW CHINTZ??? Would someone *please* tell me why in *hell* there is yellow chintz all over the place?"

"YES!" Emmy exclaimed. Kymira and JenJen cheered.

"She's back!" yelled Ellie.

"Thank god!" Laure sighed in relief.

Kendra was the only Ho not cheering. In fact, she stood there quietly, eyes shut, hoping, praying....

"Where. Is. My. Padawan?" Judy's voice was cold as she finally looked upon the ruined bartop again.

Ellie snickered. "I think she was over by the cappuchino maker. Oops! I meant...the cappuchino maker!" She pointed at the ruined piece of machinery for emphasis.

"Oh no! How could Ellie do this to me?" Kendra gasped. "I'm so dead." With that, she high-tailed it from the bar and headed for Tara and the getaway car.

"Now Judy, it wasn't exactly Kendra's fault," Kymira hedged. "Well, mostly it was, but not totally. Besides, you were freaking us out."

Judy stopped in front of the RA Director and pinned her with a glare. "What are you talking about? What is all *this*?" She waved her arms in the air and turned toward the others, gesturing towards the ruined drapes. "Why is my bar in total ruins? Why are there ugly drapes in here?" She looked down at her attire. "Why am I wearing this...this....this dress??? And why in hell did *anybody* let Kendra get *anywhere* near *any* kind of machine??? And a cappuchino maker??" Judy was in full rant mode, her arms flailing. "Somebody start talking before I get really mad!"

The Ho's, used to Judy's temper as they were, were still taken aback by the force of her anger and confusion. Dande clung to Qui-Gon, her eyes wide and fearful. Qui-Gon shook his head sadly. Emmy stood nearby, pumping her fist and chanting "she's back, she's back, she's back!" Lasher barked for emphasis.

Obi-Wan stalked over and grabbed Judy's wrists, forcing her to face him, even as she tried to wrest her hands away. "Judith," he said sternly, "look at me." She stared at the floor. "Judith," he growled. "Look. At. Me." No Ho worth her salt could resist that growl. The bartender looked up, but kept her expression sullen. "Love, don't you remember what happened?"

Judy's expression changed to confusion. "Happened? Someone destroyed my bar. That's what happened!"

"But my deah, you changed the bar."

Judy cocked her head. "Excuse me?"

"Yeah," Dor piped up. "You redecorated this place."

"And got rid of the booze," Laure grumped.

"And wore ugly, frilly clothes," added Kymira.

"With ribbons and bows!" crowed JenJen.

"They are not ugly, frilly clothes!" pouted Dande.

"Of course not, dear," said Qui-Gon as he patted her back.

"In a word, *Judith*," Emmy walked up to the bartender. "Wench."

"What did you say?" Judy looked at the Dean.

"You turned into a Wench."

"I don't believe you. There's no way I would *ever* become a Wench."

"Well, you did. Julia and Sere got pictures to prove it. Not to mention *this* place," Emmy waved her hand at the ruined cafe. "And how you started fawning over the Moose and the Hippie. And you *turned down* the General!"

"We thought you were possessed," said Laure.

"Or under a spell," said Dor, who frowned suddenly. "Damn! I didn't get to try out my new spell!"

"I vote for the possession angle," said Ellie. "Dr. Jones was working on a theory."

"Yeah, possession," said Kymira. "You were really creeping us out!"

"You really don't remember?" asked JenJen.

Judy's face had gotten paler and paler as she listened to the litany of her transformation into a Wench. She looked at Obi-Wan. "It's true?" Her voice was quiet and meek.

"Yes, love, we were all very worried about you. Your Ho-clorians were fading. We didn't know what to do. How do you feel now?"

Judy bit her lip. "I don...don't know. All I really remember is getting ready for Halloween, then waking up here." She took a deep, shuddering breath. "I need to sit down. And I need a drink."

"All the booze is in the crypt," said Laure.

"Huh? Why?"

"Because you didn't want it in your new cafe."

"Oh god. I think I'm going to be sick."

"Someone call Darry," Ky yelled.

"Yeah, right," snorted Emmy. "Look, Judy, you're back to being a Ho now, so forget about all this. We'll get the miners in here to clean up and tomorrow you can start putting this place back together."

"But, we don't really know what happened to her," pointed out Ellie. She looked at Judy. "Don't you want to know why you turned into a Wench. I mean, if it happened to you, it could happen to any of us."

"Hey, if it does happen again, then I could use my spell!" said Dor.

The assembled Ho's groaned.

Dande, glowing in the obvious health of her pregnancy, approached Judy slowly. Her voice quavered. "Do you not remember any of our shopping excursions? Or the times you came over for dinner? Or my teaching you hair styling?"

Judy looked at her. "Are you insane? No offense, Dande, but why would I do any of those things with you? Well, aside from shopping, but we don't have the same style *at all.*"

"But...we.. you had come so far in your training. Not an hour ago I was teaching you how to thud!"

Judy recoiled in horror. "How to thud?!"

"Yes," Dande exclaimed. "And Qui-Gon said you could practice with him." She glanced at the Mastah's strong arms and batted her lashes at him.

"Judith, I am..." Qui-Gon began before he was interrupted by a cold voice.

"What. Did. You. Call. Me?"

"Judith, I don't th..."

Judy stood up and pushed a finger into Qui-Gon's chest. "Don't ever call me that again. That name is reserved for Obi-Wan and only him. Got it?" She poked him for emphasis.

"But you said he could call you..." Dande began, but Qui-Gon held up his hand.

"It's all right, Wishpuff. Judith and I...ow!" The Jedi Master glared at the bartender and reached down to rub his shin where it had been kicked.

"I *said* don't call me that! And Wishpuff?" she gave Dande an incredulous look. "Whatever."

Obi-Wan chuckled as he glanced at his annoyed Master. "Judith, I'm so glad you're back. But Ellie is right, we need to determine what happened to you."

Judy allowed herself to be pulled into a hug. "I know. But first I want to get out of this ridiculous get-up, then I want to get my bar back to normal. Then I'll worry about what happened."

"Okay," said Obi-Wan as he placed a kiss on the top of her head.

"Two questions though," murmured Judy into his soiled shirt. She looked up. "Where is my padawan?" She smiled sweetly.

"And...?" Obi-Wan prompted, also smiling.

"And," Judy's face and voice hardened. "Where is my bat?"

********

And out on the moors of HSU, the princesses gathered and laughed shrilly.

The End!