TITLE Walking on a Wire
TIMELINE Right after "Swashbuckle This..."
AUTHOR Dean Caeryn
RATING This episode brought to you by the letter Z...the sound of boredom everywhere
SUMMARY Cleaning up after the grey sided one's little experimentation in zirconia marketing...
ARCHIVE All Hail Darry :-)

DISCLAIMER Back of George! The threat about Yoda and the Viagra still stands....You own them...I own me...nuff said.
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"Uhh...Emmy....could I see you for a moment?" Caeryn finally managed to tear her eyes off the towering centurion before her.

"Hmmmm...." The Super Divah was circling the new arrival with a speculative eye, reaching out to run an appreciative finger over the inlaid designs on the round shield clasped to one of his well muscled arms.

Rolling her eyes expressively, the Dean grabbed Emmy's arm and headed into her office.

"Geez...where's the fire?" The Alpha Ho huffed slightly as Caeryn firmly closed the door to her office behind them. With a hard look at Emmy, the other girl moved to the front of her desk, demurely adjusting the barely there plaid skirt as she leaned against the redwood frame.

"So what prompted the new staffing?"

Flipping her hair lightly as she meticulously readjusted her tiara, Emmy flounced into one of the high backed green suede cushioned chairs facing the dean's desk.

"We need security for the mine."

Raising her eyebrow, Caeryn regarded the other Ho as she carefully arranged the folds of her velvet skirt around her on the seat.

"I'll buy that...however, I would have appreciated if you had spoken with me about it first..."

"You don't like him?" A trick question, if the scowl on the Diva's face was any indication.

"It's not a question of liking him, Emmy...need I remind you what happened the last time we hired a half dressed staff member of the masculine persuasion...?"

"That's not fair...he's way more than half dressed."

The dean snorted slightly. "He's wearing a skirt, Emmy...his legs show, his arms show, all those rippling muscles show..." Caeryn trailed off.

The Alpha Ho leered slightly. "And the problem with that would be...?"

"Halllloooo, Emmy!!! General...possessive...asylum...Alderaan...ringing any bells? The entire board of regents agreed...no more boy toys!"

"Now hold on just a minute! He is most definitely *not* a boy toy! He's security! We need him to guard my diamonds."

"*OUR* diamonds...If they even *are* diamonds."

If looks could kill...

"They *are* diamonds...and just as soon as I get a gemologist out here..."

"We're getting off-topic here, Em. The point is that you should have cleared it with someone else before you hired him."

"I did clear it with someone."

Regarding the Diva quietly through slitted eyes, Caeryn crossed her arms over her chest. "Servo doesn't count."

Emmy huffed slightly, flattening her hand vertically, palm out as she examined her impecable nails, pouting slightly in disgust as she noticed a scratch in the otherwise perfect manicure.

"Look, Emmy...it's not like I'm saying you shouldn't have hired him...just, talk it over with someone first to make sure everything is covered..."

The School girl clad ho continued talking despite the obvious snicker from the Diva at the word 'covered'.

"It's bad enough with Normal Al and Edmund...add this other General to the mix and *our* General is likely to get insecure....again."

Emmy's head perked up slightly. "Edmund? Who's Edmund?"

Caeryn had the grace to blush. "Ummm....the butler."

"We have a butler?"

Shuffling a stack of papers on her desk to avoid looking the Alpha in the eye, the Dean nodded slightly. "He was just hired."

Both of Emmy's eyebrows arched perceptibly.

Getting a little defensive, Caeryn sniffed. "We need someone to keep the place up...fetch...carry...that sort of thing..."

Emmy smirked slightly. "I'm not saying you shouldn't have hired him *Caeryn*...but maybe you should have checked it out with someone first."

The Dean's eyes narrowed slightly, as she gave the Diva a sharp look. Almost unwillingly, her lips quirked up in a smile. "Touché."

"Naturally...Now, if you'll excuse me...I think I'll show Maximus the mine and see about getting a gemologist out here to tell us if they really are diamonds or not."

"Don't bother with that last bit...I'll have the survey guys do it."

"Survey? What survey?"

"The safety survey...after the way the top of the mine just collapsed under you and the Wench I wanted to have a structural geologist assess the site...make sure it wouldn't fall in on us with people down there...that sort of thing."

Something in the back of Emmy's mind clicked as she listened to the Dean prattle on about cavern integrity and karst topography.

"You're a geologist." It was almost an accusation.

Caeryn stopped, blinking her eyes slightly at Emmy in surprise. "I *studied* geology, yes."

"So you'd know if they were diamonds or not."

The standing Ho gave the sitting Diva a pained look. "Emmy, looking at lab specimines is one thing...this is entirely different. Hand me a zirconia and a diamond all pretty and polished and I could tell you in one second which was which....but this is field geology...That's why I called in Xanatos...we need experts."

"Expert at muddying the waters maybe..." Emmy snorted slightly. "He's a corporate play boy...he wouldn't know the difference between a zirconia mine and a diamond mine anymore than you would..." The Alpha Ho trailed off at the look of wide eyed disbelief dawning on the Dean's face.

"Why that half witted, scruffy looking...NERF HERDER!...zirconia mine, my ass!" The Dean slammed her fist down on the desk, sending a pile of papers scattering. Practically sputtering, Caeryn rounded her desk and began riffling through her drawers, muttering under her breath the entire time.''

"Um...." The Director of Public Relations raised an eyebrow in query as the other Ho straightened, brandishing a rather solid looking hammer with an evil looking pick at one end.

"Go to the Geology lab and grab one of the hardness kits...bring it back here, STAT! Make sure it has all the basics in it...that slimey grey bastard...I'll show him dark side..."

Wary of the other Ho's swiftly changing mood, Emmy blinked slightly. "Sure thing, Caeryn...just one thing...What's a hardness kit?"