"Pardon. Me."

"Uh...yeah...cubic zirconia."

Emmy carefully pushed a lock of hair out of her face. "Repeat. That."

Caeryn smiled, carefully avoiding looking the Alpha Ho in the eyes. "He said they weren't real diamonds. He said they were cubic zirconia."

Emmy rested her elbows on her desk, tapping her fingers together. Caeryn sat very still, making no sudden movements. Tom Servo stared with rapt attention, his webcam pointed directly at the diva.

"And who," Emmy said, "is he?"

"Uh...the representative from the Offworld Corporation," Caeryn said.

Emmy glared at Caeryn, quite familiar with those slave-driving, thieving corporate tyrants. "Why, pray tell, was Offworld even close to our mine?"

Caeryn shifted in her chair. Emmy's calm was unnerving. "Well, we had to have it verified for insurance purposes."

"I see," Emmy said.

"You do?"

"Yes, I do. What was his name?"

"Pardon?"

"Caeryn, what was his name?"

Caeryn grasped the arms of the chair. "It was...uh...Xanatos."

"WHAT??!!"

~*~

"Hi, Emmy," the suddenly grown up Anakin greeted as Emmy came bounding down the stairs into the lounge.

Emmy marched up to him and jabbed her finger in his face. "Bite. Me."

"I'm sorry, Emmy, did I do--" Anakin stopped speaking as the Alpha Ho got the death look in her eyes.

Just then Ban entered the lounge, gasping as she saw the lanky nitwit about to be taken down by the diminutive but dangerous Alpha Ho. "Anakin," Ban said softly. "Just back away from her slowly. That's right, just one little step back...one more little step back. Now very slowly, avert your eyes from her."

"If you know what's good for you," Emmy growled very deeply. "You will go back to Wanker College where you came from."

"Um, sure," Anakin said, boy genius that he was.

Emmy turned and stomped toward the door. "And tell Josh to STOP CALLING ME!!"

Anakin stared at the slamming door, turning his head toward Ban.

"The General canceled all of his appointments when you showed up. Just take my advice. Avoid Emmy like the plague until she gets her appointments back."

"Thanks," Anakin said as Ban walked away.

"If you survive that long," Ban snickered.

Anakin gulped. "Well.... She's just a woman...and small, too." Anakin scrunched up his face as Ban's laughter echoed throughout the halls.

~*~

Emmy's Mercedes peeled up the driveway of Aya's AYUB_ University. Two buff men clad in gold spandex pants ran to open the gate. And then they stopped.

"Who is she?" Buff Man #1 said.

"No idea," Buff Man #2 responded.

"New sammich chick?" Buff Man #1 said.

Emmy pounded on her horn and swore at them to open the gates.

"No," Buff Man #2 said, "sammich chicks are never that frustrated."

"Hey," Buff Man #1 said, his head turning back to the security booth, "game's back on. Open the gate."

Emmy hit the accelerator as the gates swung open. She stopped, parking anywhere she pleased, and jumped out of the car. Mere moments later, the steady thrum of a motorcycle engine caught her attention. Emmy spun around in the direction of the noise and glared at the rider.

"Oh, great," Aya mumbled. "Just what I need." Aya parked the bike and took off her helmet, putting on her best Sithly smile. "Hey, Emmy. What brings you here?"

"Where is he?"

"Um...General's not here," Aya said.

"Xanatos! Where is Xanatos!"

"Thought you were strictly Ho material," Aya said.

"I've come here to kill him, not do him!" Emmy snarled.

Aya chuckled. "Yeah, ok. Whatever. Uh...haven't really seen him."

"You lookin' for me?" a low voice came from the other side of Emmy's car.

"Until now," Aya said with a grin.

Emmy spun around and glared at Xanatos, his leather pants reflecting the sun, his mostly unbuttoned red shirt billowing in the breeze. "Yeah. I'm lookin' for you."

Xanatos stepped around the car toward Emmy, the metal buckles on his motorcycle boots clinking with each step. Emmy did the same, walking toward him as the teardrop diamond accents on her tiara clinked with each step she took.

Aya's eyes darted from side to side as the theme from "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly" suddenly filled the air.

Emmy heard it, too. She looked at Aya.

"It's not me," Aya said.

"Well, it's not me," Emmy said.

The two women looked at Xanatos.

"Don't look at me," he said.

"Would you excuse me for just a moment?" Emmy asked, her voice exasperated.

Xanatos' fierce stance turned casual as he shook the hair out of his eyes. "Sure."

Emmy marched past him and opened the trunk of her car. The music continued momentarily and then stopped.

"Don't kill us! Don't kill us!" Crow and Tom Servo pleaded.

"What are you doing in my trunk?!"

"Uh...." Servo said.

"It's was Tom's idea!" Crow wailed.

"Hey, Aya," Emmy said.

"Yeah?"

"Need a gumball machine?"

"Uh...."

"NO! Please! I swear, oh highest Divaness. It will never happen again," Servo groveled.

"And I'll have her fill you with Britney Spears stickers, GOT IT?" Emmy threatened.

"Yes, yes, I'll shut up now," Servo caved.

Crow snickered until Emmy glared at him.

"Did I mention that Aya has a Coed Precision Machete Drill Team?" Emmy said.

Crow's ping pong eyes looped around, and then he grabbed the trunk and pulled it shut.

Emmy dusted off her hands as she marched back to her spot in front of Xanatos. "I've got one thing to say to you."

Xanatos crossed his arms. "Just one?"

Emmy scowled at him. "Listen here, leather boy. You mess with my diamonds, I take you down. And I take you down hard. And I *don't* mean that in a good way," she growled.

Xanatos grinned. "I'm intrigued." Xanatos ugh'd as Emmy grabbed his shirt and yanked him forward, his arms flying out behind him and his knees caving under.

"You're going down," she seethed.

Despite his somewhat weakened position, Xanatos grinned again. Raising an eyebrow, he said, "I sure hope so. I'm free this afternoon if--" Then he oof'd as he hit the pavement, rebounding quickly to slink back up to his feet.

"Those diamonds are real, and I'm going to prove it. You think I'm going to let some smirking, leather-clad boy steal my diamonds by calling them fake?"

"Can't blame a boy for trying," he said, blinking at her.

"So you ADMIT IT!" Emmy yelled, pointing at him. "Aya, did you hear that? Did you?"

Aya whistled, looking at the pretty birdies.

Xanatos chuckled. "Rule number one, princess," he said, reaching up to flick the teardrops on her tiara. "What's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine."

"Over. Your. Dead. Body." Emmy poked her finger into his chest with each word.

Xanatos placed his hand over his heart. "I think I'm in love," he drawled sarcastically.

"Hmmh," Emmy harumphed, taking a step back from him. "Bring it on," she growled with a taunting flip of her head.

The Alpha Ho and the Grey Jedi held each other's gaze for a moment. Off in the distance the sound of cracking whips echoed in the courtyard.

"Time to play," he growled, the corner of his mouth smirking up.

Emmy stepped forward, leaning her face up to his. "Outta my way, dead leather boy."

Xanatos waggled an eyebrow and then stepped aside as Emmy got into her car. She started the engine quickly and then peeled out of the parking lot, nearly running over the buff men on her way out.

"Well," Xanatos said. "Look like I'm going to have to pay HSU another visit." Suddenly he felt cold metal against his wrist and looked down when he heard the softly clink of handcuffs.

"I don't think so," Aya said with a sultry grin, leading him back toward the building.

"You spoil me," he purred as he swaggered behind her.

Aya sauntered in front of him, clever smirk firmly planted on her face. "You haven't seen where the other end of these cuffs are going yet."

~*~

Emmy thrashed around in her sleep, clutching her Pooh Bear and then flinging her arms to the sides. "No! No! No!" she cried out, shaking her head back and forth. Her lungs heaved with heavy sobs as she fought to wake herself up, but to no avail. Pooh suddenly tumbled to the floor as she kicked her legs, struggling to break free of the horrific dream. "No! NOOOOO!!" she cried desperately.

Her bedroom door suddenly crashed open as the General ran in, quickly switching on the lamp next to Emmy's bed and placing his hands on her shoulders to calm her down. But she only fought again his hold. "Emmy," he said, shaking her slightly. "Wake up."

"No!" Emmy gasped loudly, her eyes suddenly popping open.

"There now," the General said, gathering her trembling body into his embrace as she cried. "Shhhh, it was only a dream," he said softly, stroking her hair.

"It was a nightmare," she whined, her voice quivering.

"Tell me what happened," he said, squeezing her tightly.

"I dreamt that....that...." Emmy's lunged hitched with a sob.

"It's alright," he said. "You're safe now."

"I dreamt that Wal-Mart denied my credit and...I....I....I had to shop at the SALVATION ARMY," she wailed, sobbing against his chest.

The General chuckled.

"It's NOT FUNNY," she cried, clutching to him.

"I know," he said, biting down his smile. "It'll be alright," he assured as he rocked her while burying his grinning face in her hair.