"I would just like to take this opportunity to point out that I had NOTHING to do with that," Emmy said, pointing up toward the Ho's hanging out the window.

The General rubbed his face with his hand, sputtering tequila out of his mouth and rubbing it out of his eyes. He then shook his arms to try and fling the wet rock salt off his clothes.

"Oh my God!" Judy screamed. "We've ruined the leather!"

Kymira slapped her hand over Judy's mouth and yanked her away from the window. "Everyone disperse," she ordered, pushing the other Ho's out into the hallway. "And look busy!"

~*~

"Wow, nice digs," Xanatos said, running his fingertips along the edge of the General's mahogany desk.

"Yeah," Dorotea said, slapping the desk top. "Earthquake proof, too," she added with a leer.

Commodus smiled and sipped his wine.

~*~

"The Triumph!" Caeryn bellowed, looking up to the now empty window. Then she grabbed a tiara off her hip and ran toward the front door.

"AYEEAYEEAYEEAYEEAYEEAYEE!!"

"Uhhh," Emmy said eloquently as she looked at the dripping General, his head lowered and his hands gripping the handlebars of his motorcycle.

"Caeryn just might...uh...kill them."

"And the problem with that would be...." the General uttered with an incredibly restrained voice. He turned his head toward Emmy.

Emmy's face bore the largest phony grin of her life. Her grin turned to a look of maniacal panic when she noticed the General's eyes dart over her shoulder...right in the direction of the Gladiator squadron and their attending Ho's and one Wench.

"Where did they come from?" he growled slowly.

"They're...uh...friends of Dande."

"Then why are my girls fawning over them?" he growled again. "My. Girls. Don't. Fawn."

"Uhhhh...."

"You drive it home! I'll run defense!" Jael suddenly yelled at Emmy, running past them swinging a broad sword over head.

Emmy smirked and lunged at the General while Jael chased the Gladiator squadron around the back of the building and out sight through sheer force of Ho'ness.

"Master!"

The General quickly turned, inadvertently tossing Emmy off the bike as she lost her Ho composure and began hacking and wheezing on tequila fumes.

"Master! It's me! Anakin!"

The General marched toward the gate where the Wankers were helping Anakin climb over the top and inside the HSU grounds. The devil spawn landed on the dirt with a resounding thud, quickly jumping to feet to the cheers of his fellow Wankers.

"Master!" he shouted again. "I'm here! Now I can be a Je--" the words were choked off as Anakin was hoisted up by the back of his shirt.

"Now, get out," the General said, grabbing hold of Anakin's leg with his other hand. "And stay out!" he yelled before Force catapulting Anakin over the gate, across the road, and into a bramble of blackberry bushes...or maybe it was poison ivy.

The Wankers suddenly stopped cheering and stared at the General, their mouths hanging open.

The General stood directly in front of the gate and put his hands on his hips. "Now, which of you has pictures of my girls in your lockers?"

The Wankers stared silently at the General one moment longer...and then a collective girlie scream echoed throughout the valley as they clumsily about-faced and ran like sissies down the highway.

~*~

"Oh my gosh, will you look at that," Judy said, reading the paper upside down the second the General appeared in the foyer before marching down the hallway.

"Yeah, mmm-hmm," Jen said, feigning great interest in the sawdust section of the yellow pages.

"Did you know that on this day in 1164," Kymira said, dramatically referencing the Almanac of Literary History that had been left on the coffee table for some inexplicable reason, "Heloise, the brilliant student and later wife of French theologian and philosopher Peter Abelard, whose tragic love affair resulted in his castration, died in Paraclete Abbey?"

Jen glanced sideways to make sure the General was still continuing down the hallway. Then she darted from the phone table to the couch and lobbed a pillow at Kymira.

"Hey!" Kymira said, throwing the pillow back at Jen.

"What'd you have to go mention castration for?"

"Oh."

"He's going to kill me!" Judy wailed, hiding her head under crumpled newspaper.

The front door suddenly flew open, Ban and Emmy careening into the hallway, Julia and Sere right behind them with video and digital cameras.

"Where is he?" Ban asked between short breaths.

"Just walked toward his office," Kymira said. "Why?"

"SHIT!" Emmy yelled taking off at a dead run.

"What's going on?" Jen asked.

"We saw Dorotea with Xanatos and some other short guy looking out the window of the General's office," Sere said as she chased after Emmy and Ban.

"Hot damn!" Judy yelled, tossing off the paper and jumping up from the couch. "I'm out of trouble already."

"AYEEAYEEAYEEAYEEAYEEAYEEAYEE!!"

Judy, Kymira, and Jen suddenly screamed, stopped their enthusiastic run toward the General's office as Caeryn came flying down the hall toward them brandishing yet another tiara, and turned tail and ran like hell out the door and toward the cover of the mine shaft.

TBC