* * * *
Meanwhile, in the HSU library:
"No, Kendra, that's not right. You lick the Nutella off his elbow, not smear it on the pillowcase. Oh, we're never gonna memorize this in time for the exam."
The freshman study group was now entering its 4th hour and the caffeine was wearing off. Brenda brought in another round of espressos and sat down at the table in the HSU library.
She wished now she hadn't volunteered for leading this group. What if Emmy needed her? The Diva would call and she wouldn't bee there to polish her tiara or clean the endless supply of green velvet skirts.
* * * *
Meanwhile, on the rugby pitch:
"And then she just bolted from the Clinic."
"No kidding." Emmy said absently as she attempted to look at her back in the full-length mirror in her room.
"Something must have grabbed her attention."
That's not all it grabbed, Emmy thought to herself, but said "Uh-huh," as she did a twirl.
"Emmy, that looks like a..." he could barely get the word out "Wench dress." The General finished buckling the leather and bronze breastplate over his rather nice chest.
"It is, I borrowed it from Dande," Emmy admitted. "It's okay; I washed it in some rubbing alcohol, then ran it through the autoclave in the Clinic. It should now just be infused with Ho-chlorians."
"Well, you look stunning, as usual, even if it came from Salvation Army." The General made a few mock thrusts with his short broadsword, gladiator style. Emmy fell at his feet in a pile of hormones and a slightly dented tiara.
Well, guess I'll practice that mouth-to-mouth thing the Nurse showed me, the General thought, adding a few of his own variations and tongue embellishments.
* * * *
Meanwhile, in the HSU garage:
"So who rides the piece of shit Triumph?"
"Hey, watch it! That bike is really...comfortable," Darry said to the young man in leather trousers and red silk shirt.
"Whatever," he tossed back airily, pushing his hair from his eyes. "I take it you've seen mine."
"Your what?" Darry said, stalking through the rest of the garage and through to the empty workshop. Tasha had spent a few nights in here pining away, but the place was empty now.
"My bike," Xanatos said, eyeing the collection of Sith memorabilia.
"Oh yeah, it looked...comfortable, too." Darry flashed him a rare smile and thought about her current trend of vehicular boinking. She made her way over to the broom cupboard and began haphazardly throwing things out of it- rakes, spades, Ewok corpses. What the hell had Mr. Vocab been up to? Course, it could have been Darth Martha Stewart.
Several of the gardening implements she intentionally left in the closet. She spoke as she inspected the closet's paneling, rapping on it in order to test out its acoustics. "So, IS the diamond mine real or not, Mr. Offworld?"
Xanatos looked up from his inspection of Mr. Vocab's collection of Sports Illustrated back issues. "Oh, who knows? I just let out that little rumor to see what the market would do."
"Really?" Darry almost laughed.
"Really, for all I know, those could be real diamonds..." he broke off as he found the swimsuit edition.
Darry climbed into the closet. "So I can buy common stock at base price and they could rise at a 17% rate over the next six months, reaching 134.23 a share at closing, despite the mining accident on Bandomeer, right?
Xanatos didn't look up from the magazine. "Yeah, sure, whatever."
"And then the shareholders could receive a 2-in-1 stock split by the end of the new year, after the successful Offworld take-over of the Vervex Mining Company."
"I guess."
"I did a lot of background research on Offworld on Coruscant. I don't just invest with anyone."
A little black Calvin Klein dress fell across the open centerfold of the latest Speedo. Xanatos looked up at the half-open closet door...a grin spreading across his sharp features.
* * * *
Meanwhile on Bespin:
"Now what the frak do we do?" Cal glowered, twisting his braid furiously.
"Grr."
"How the frak are we gonna do that? Hey you morons, I'm talking to you, too!"
Crow and Servo didn't even look up from the TV. "Who knew this was who all the 'Carry On' films were sold to?" Crow enthused.
"Lando does seem to have a large collection of some rather odd titles," Servo observed. "'Buxom Beach Babe-age', 'Revenge of the Killer Bikini Vampire Girls', 'XXX Action', and a Shania Twain video."
"Well, 'tis the month, you know," Crow clarified.
* * * *
Meanwhile at AYUB_ University:
"Let's see, I got the rat-bastard taking up the Senator's precious time, I'll retrieve the X-Man as soon as she's properly enamoured, the General is shortly to be having to deal with another round of Ho-inspired emotionalism, and now the Diva is pissed at her. Good, everything is going as planned. Muhahahahaaa..."
Aya twirled a lock of hair in lieu of a handlebar moustache.
* * * *
Meanwhile, in the frosh dorm:
"JenJen, have you been sucking out all the nitrous oxide from the Rediwhip cans again?" Kymira was frantic. Their art final was the next day.
"Huh? Don't look at me, Ms. I-Used-It-All-Up-On-That-Wylde-Guy-While-We-Were-On-Alderaan," Kymira shot back.
"Shit, now what are we gonna do?"
"Same thing we did last semester. Use that Gillette stuff we stole from Cal's room. God knows he doesn't need it."
* * * *
Meanwhile, back on Bespin:
"No Lando, we've been warned, but thanks for the dinner invitation anyway," Tom said without looking up from the Margot Kidder Story.
Cal jumped in front of the TV and snatched the remote from Crow's beak. "C'mon, we're leaving. I've got us passage home."
"Grr?"
"And what exactly did you use for money," Lando crossed his arms over his chest.
"I just sold your Tibanna gas mining interests to some rep from Offworld," Cal explained. Lando went running for his caterer, cursing at the top of his lungs.
* * * *
Meanwhile, on the rugby pitch:
"Em? Em? Are you ok?" The General was a little concerned. The victim should have regained consciousness by now. "I guess I'll just have to keep at it."
The General sighed.
The victim smiled.
* * * *
Meanwhile, in the HSU workshop closet:
"And what are you gonna do with that?"
"Well, it is a hoe..."
"Oooh, you know I like the rough stuff."
* * * *
Meanwhile, at Aya's AYUB_University:
..."hahahahahahahaaaa!"
* * * *
Meanwhile, in the HSU library:
"Zzzzzzzzzzz..."
* * * *
Later that afternoon:
"Grrrrrrrr!" Tasha raced into the arms of the groundskeeper, despite the funny looks she was given by the 'bots, who were loaded down with duty-free booze and the pornographic videos they'd foisted from Lando.
The couple made a beeline for the workshed, where it sounded like someone was building a go-cart.
"Well, all's well that ends well," Crow said, over the din of accordion music that seemed to be emanating from the admin. building. Shana and Caeryn could just be heard yelling over it. Course, there was also Celine competing from the tower.
"If you say so," harrumphed Cal, twirling his braid and intent on not noticing the pointedly absent parking spot in the lot that used to contain a Mustang.
End