Title: Momma needs a new pair of shoes
Timeline: During Emmy's "Happy, Happy Birthday Baby"
Author: Jael
Rating: BS (Bad Shoes)
Disclaimer: Jael does not own these shoes in Real
Life. And she doesn't own anyone in this story. And
she would like to send her apologies to the bus
driver.
Archive: Doubtful, since I have probably offended the
archivist *g*
* * *
Jael and Space Dog rushed to the bus, almost missing it because Space Dog had eaten Jael's shoes. Again. Diebin was perched on the back of the front seat, "Not one word Diebin. Not one fraggin' word," said Jael shoving her Twin over and sitting down.
"What? What am I not supposed to say..." then Diebin looked down and saw Jael's shoes. A pair Converse hightops. One orange. One Purple. Diebin burst into laughter. "Where in the sith did you get those ugly things?"
"Space dog ate my last pair of Birks. These are the only shoes I own she hasn't eaten. I think because they are too ugly," said Jael through clenched teeth.
Darry came to ask Diebin if she could bum a smoke. Not that Diebin smoked, but Darry wasn't very rational these days. She asked everything that stood still if she could bum a smoke. We won't even go into what happened after she asked Wicket that. Trust me, you don't want to know.
"Diebin, do you have anything I can..." Darry paused mid-sentance. Then she began laughing that terrible, horrible, maniacal laugh she laughs right before she belittles you. "Jael-- where did you get those *ugly* shoes? We aren't going to let her go with us wearing those are we? I will not allow it. First she loses her mind and goes Darth-Martha on all of us, then the incident with the General's wadrobe and now you expect me to be seen with her in THOSE!? GENERAL!!!!!"
The General came running from the back of the bus, amazingly not spilling a single drop of his margarita. "What is it Darry?" he asked surveying the situation. Diebin was smirking, Darry was fuming, Jael was sniffling, and Space Dog appeared to be eating the bus driver's leg. Everything looked normal here, then he saw them. Darry saw him see them. It was too late, he couldn't play dumb. Jael's shoes were awful. Actually, they scared him a little bit.
"Are you going to let her wear those? ARE YOU?" Darry asked.
"Technically I have no say in whatever Jael wants to do. Besides, I think her shoes are... ummm... well they... " try as he might, the General couldn't think of one nice thing to say about the purple and orange atrocities.
"I'm just not going to go, he doesn't like my shoes and its his birthday and I'm runing it," sniffled Jael. Diebin hit her in the arm. Very hard. And it *hurt*.
"What's that for?" asked Jael.
"*I* am the angst Queen. *I* am the only one who gets to have General guilt fests. *You* are just a Geek Artist with Ugly shoes."
(Now, please don't think ill of Diebin for being so harsh to poor little Jaelly. They're twin sisters. Its expected.) Diebin went on, "Now, I want you to take the keys to my room, pick out any pair of shoes you want from my closet and get your whining butt back on this bus in the next three minutes or we are leaving you. Got it?" (See, we knew she would redeem herself. Diebin is an angel. Hey-- Quit laughing-- she really is!)
Jael nodded and took off running towards the North Tower. Two minutes and 48 seconds later she reappeared. Wearing Diebin's black stileto boots. And one of her black catsuits. Diebin sighed and decided to indulge her sister just this once. Even the General was impressed Jael had gotten into that outfit even quicker than her sister could get out of it, with time to spare.