Title: Pay Dirt
Author: Emmy
Rating: HKA (Ho's Kick Ass)
Archive: Please!
Disclaimer: Um, George, just turn the other way, okay?

Emmy sat tangled up in a blanket with Pooh at her side and the Von Trapp children happily singing on the widescreen HDTV in the movie room. She scribbled into the leather bound diary she had bought at the beginning of the year in a crazed Oprah moment to keep her life simply abundant. Of course, she hadn't used it since January 3rd, but now since everyone hated her it was her only means of purging all the jumbled thoughts running through her head. She had tried talking to Pooh on one occasion, but she didn't find it as fulfilling as Caeryn did with Paddington.

On her third page of scribbling the many reasons why she was unworthy of forgiveness, there was a light knocking on the door. Emmy hid the diary under her blanket and turned her attentions back to Christopher Plummer.

The General sat down on the sofa, keeping the space of a cushion between himself and flannel-clad bundle of neurosis. "Could you pause it for a moment?"

Emmy squeezed the blanket when he spoke. His mere proximity made her extraordinarily uncomfortable. Now that Shana had forgiven him, he was certainly never going to want a fallen diva. She fumbled for the remote and switched off the power.

The General reached out and touched her cheek. "Thank you."

"Sure." Emmy grabbed Pooh and clutched him as a buffer between her and the General.

The General sighed. Too many walls. "Do you know where I might find Diebin?"

"I haven't seen her," Emmy said.

The General nodded. "But do you know where she goes when she doesn't want to be found?"

Emmy gulped. She and Diebin vowed never to reveal the dusty Qui-clone hiding place. But those teal eyes were difficult to lie to. "Yes." Emmy thought about...elephants to keep herself from thinking about Diebin's probable location.

The General smiled. "But you don't wish to tell me."

Emmy buried her face in Pooh's head, her heart pounding in her chest when she felt the General's hand on her shoulder.

"That's alright," he said. "She's fortunate that you keep her confidence."

"I'm sorry," Emmy whispered.

"Don't be," he said.

Emmy sat silently, still hiding her face behind Pooh.

The General didn't want to push, and he needed to get to the bottom of all of this bizarre behavior. He stood up. "If you see her, could you please tell her that I would like to talk to her."

"Sure."

"And that I'm not angry at her in the slightest."

"Okay."

"I'm worried about her."

"Me, too."

The General walked around the back of the couch. He bent down and kissed the top of Emmy's head. "And I'm worried about you, too."

Emmy knew she would cry if he didn't leave soon.

"If you need me, all you have to do is think it, you know."

Emmy nodded into Pooh's head.

"Of course, lately it's been rather noisy in my head with all the interesting thoughts people have been thinking about me," he said, lightening his tone. He sensed her smile even if she wouldn't show it to him. He ran his fingers quickly through her hair and then exited the room.

Emmy sighed and sniffled. She was so not worthy.

~*~

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing."

Sere sighed and crossed her arms in front of her as she watched Julia fumble through her keys while standing in front of the cabinet they had locked all the film in. "I thought we agreed no pictures until the Tattler fiends were caught."

"Yes," Julia said triumphantly when she found the correct key. "Well, the General locked down the offices, so what harm could this do?"

"Julia."

"Sere."

"This is not a good idea," Sere said. "Besides, what's so important? You passed up taking photos at the bonfire. What could be more incriminating than that."

Julia grabbed a handful of film and put them in her bag. "Indy."

"Indy?"

"Yep. He thinks he's found his buried treasure."

"You're kidding! Where?"

"Wanker College."

Sere gasped. "No way!"

Julia nodded. "Yeah, someone finally convinced him to use a GPS. He is still missing some data, but he's certain he's on the right track."

"Wait a minute," Sere said. "Indy said it was the treasure of Queen Gettalay of Estrogen County."

"Yeah, that's right."

"Wanker College isn't in Estrogen County. It's in Testosterone County."

Julia shook her head. "It's right on the border between Estrogen and Testosterone. That's why they're wankers."

"Ah! I get it."

"So, I'm gonna be there when he finds the treasure, and...." Julia looked around to make sure they were alone. "Indy says that the buried treasure leads to an ancient diamond mine."

"No way!!"

"Way."

"So that means all those wankers are gonna be rich!"

Julia nodded. "Yeah, that's the really annoying part about this. But I'm gonna be there when they find it."

"You going now?"

"Not yet. They're still digging."

"But don't you want to be there when they find it? What if a wanker boy gets all the photos."

Julia snorted. "Sere, they're wankers. The only reason they'd be interested in what Indy is doing is if he had bikini-clad women with him. They think archeologists are foot doctors."

Sere laughed. "Well, I wanna go with you."

"Sure thing. Indy said he'd call when they get to the tunnel on his map."

"Well, let me know," Sere said. "In the meantime, I have an appointment with the General."

Julia raised her eyebrows. "Since when do you have an appointment with the General?"

"Since everyone else decided they didn't want him," Sere grinned.

~*~

Jael bounded into the lounge where Emmy was sitting, having decided to change couches halfway through the day. "Hey Ho, how's it goin'?"

Emmy looked up at the bouncing Geek Art Goddess. "Fine."

"Wasn't the bonfire great last night?"

"Sure," Emmy said half-heartedly.

"I mean, aside from the giant neon yellow polyester blob welded to the pavement," Jael giggled a little too intensely.

Space Dog barked.

"No, Space Dog," Jael said. "I have work to do. We'll go outside and torture freshman later."

Emmy perked up a bit. Maybe going outside would be good for her. "I'll take Space Dog outside."

"Really? Are you sure?" Jael asked excitedly.

Emmy gave her a curious glance. "Sure. Um, I thought you didn't drink coffee."

Jael shook her head quickly. "No, I don't," she answered perkily.

Emmy sighed. Everyone was happy but her. She slowly stood up and shuffled toward the door. "C'mon, Space Dog," she mumbled

Space Dog looked at Jael.

"Well, go on!" Jael said enthusiastically.

Space Dog whined.

"Look, Space Dog!" Jael yelled, pointing out the open door. "Freshman! Get the freshman!"

Space Dog barked with maniacal joy and ran out the door, nearly knocking Emmy over as she shuffled down the steps.

~*~

Dande sighed as she wandered past the garden with no clear destination in mind. The bonfire had been rather traumatic for her. She was surrounded by Ho's who didn't have the slightest trace of wenchichlorians in their blood, even when they were depressed and neurotic. Although she appreciated them putting her up for free, feeding her, providing maid and laundry service, offering a lovely pasture for her harse, and inviting her to all their parties, Dande still felt like something was missing. She was lonely. She just didn't understand these Ho's, and while she could picture being friends with some of them, it was difficult being misunderstood.

Dande sighed some more as she brushed wisps of hair out of her face. She held her hand over her heart. If only her Master were here, all would be perfect. She wouldn't be so despondent.

Although burning all of those Titanic CD's sure helped her mood.

It was odd, and almost frightening, that for a moment she bonded with the Ho's in their ardent celebration of righteous anger. Oh well, it was always good to be empathetic to others. At least that is what her Master had told her.

Dande sighed.

Then she stopped and turned around, hearing a noise behind her. It was Space Dog barking at a butterfly. "Oh," Dande said, whisking herself over to Space Dog. "Please don't hurt the lovely butterfly," she pleaded in her delicate, melodious voice.

Space Dog rolled her eyes.

Then Dande looked up and saw someone approaching. And then she realized how far she had wandered from the main building as it loomed far in the distance.

"Hi, Dande," Emmy sighed.

"Oh. Hello." Dande eyed the fallen diva. Something was terribly wrong. Dande never would have destroyed a tiara. Never. Nor would she be caught dead in flannel jammies. "Are you alright."

"Sure," Emmy said. "Just walking."

"Oh."

Emmy walked slowly past Dande.

"Well, we are quite a ways out, aren't we?" Dande said.

"Yeah, I guess so," Emmy said.

"Emmy," Dande said.

"Yes?"

"What happened to the diva?"

Emmy sighed. "I don't know. I'm not a diva. I'm not a Ho. I'm nobody."

"Well, that's silly," Dande said. "You want me to teach you to be a wench?" she asked hopefully.

Emmy cringed, the vivid recollection of removing duct tape flooding her senses. "No thanks."

"Oh," Dande sighed dejectedly.

"Not that you couldn't teach me to be a wench.... I mean, not that you aren't a good teacher," Emmy stammered. "It's just that I'm not good at anything. Me. Personally. It's no reflection on you."

Dande nodded. This one really was off her rocker. They walked silently side by side, Space Dog picking up the rear as she continued to bark at butterflies.

And then the ground gave out underneath the two women. Dande screamed. Emmy was just bewildered. They both hit soft dirt and grass with a thud.

"My baby! My baby!" Dande began to squeal.

Emmy groaned as she rolled over and crawled to Dande. "Are you hurt?"

"My baby!"

Emmy looked up at the hole leading to the sky. "Oh, this isn't good at all," she moaned. Suddenly, Space Dog's head peered down at them. "Space Dog!" Emmy yelled. "Get help!"

Space Dog barked and ran off.

"My baby! My baby! My baby!"

"Dande, listen to me. It's alright. I'm sure your baby is fine," Emmy said, shedding a bit of neurosis and going into crisis control mode. "We'll just stay here until Space Dog brings help."

"Oh, where is my Master?" Dande cried.

"Your Master can't save you now!"

Emmy and Dande gasped at the maniacal voice echoing from the darkness.

~*~

The Ho's sat around the lounge, even Caeryn since she was summoned, and listened to the General's update.

"I have temporarily locked down the Tattler office until we get this situation resolved. Now, as to the issue of Ugarte and the Mastiff, I began by searching for Esmillia--"

"I thought it was Ellsmillia," Shana said.

"I thought it was Elsamillia," Ban said.

"Who?" Darry said.

"The Smelly chick," Jael said.

"Oh yeah, her," Darry said.

"Anyway," the General said, "I was unable to find her, and she isn't actually officially registered."

Just then Space Dog broke in the front door and began barking madly.

The General sighed. "Jael, could you--"

"What's that Space Dog?" Jael said.

Darry rolled her eyes.

Jael gasped. "Emmy and Dande have fallen down a well and need our help?"

"What?" the General said, stepping forward.

"Hello! She's a dog!" Darry snapped. "She can't talk!"

"Yeah, but Emmy isn't here," Diebin said. "That's not like her to disobey the General."

All the Ho's looked at Diebin.

"I mean," Diebin said, "that's not like her in her current condition."

"She's right," Shana said.

"Let's go," the General said, marching out of the building with the Ho's following close behind.

~*~

Emmy and Dande shivered, grabbing each other's hands as footsteps approached them.

"You'd better not try anything," Emmy threatened rather ineffectively in her neurotic state.

"Oh really?" came a sarcastic voice. A female voice.

Emmy tried like mad to place the voice, but she didn't recognize it. "Yeah, really," she said quietly.

"Is that a threat?" the voice shrieked. "Are you threatening me??"

"My General said that if I needed him all I had to do was think it," Emmy said a little louder. "So I'm thinkin' it."

"HA! Your General?? By the time YOUR General gets here, it's going to be too late!"

Dande screamed as woman wearing a really bad blonde wig jumped into the light.

"Besides," the evil woman seethed, "what would your General want with a sniveling ninny like you...."

"Smelly?" Emmy said, finally recognizing the cheap Halloween wig.

"...when he could have ME!" She pulled off the wig to reveal red hair.

"GINSU! GINSU! GINSU!" Dande's terrified screams rattled the earthen walls.

Dande stopped screaming and froze in horror as a giant Mastiff leapt toward her and started barking, drooling on her fabulous gown.

"Meet my faithful apprentice, Ugarte Henfield," Ginsu said.

The dog licked Ginsu's boots.

"Wait a minute," Emmy said. "Ugarte is dead."

Ginsu and the dog snickered. "That body was merely a host, a diversion if you will, for the execution of my greatest plan!"

"Which is?" Emmy asked hesitantly.

Ginsu huffed. "That's none of your business!"

Dande squealed as Ginsu grabbed her arm and pulled her to her feet. Then she yanked Emmy up and pushed her into Dande. "Move!" she yelled pushing them both into the dark tunnel.

~*~

"It's Ginsu," the General growled, running faster as the Force and Space Dog led the way.

"Wait up!" Shana yelled as the motley crew of dysfunctional Ho's tried to keep up with the General. Although they didn't mind watching his ass as he ran.

"Camera?" Sere asked.

"Hell, yeah," Julia said as she grasped it in her hands.

~*~

Emmy and Dande found themselves in the most unfortunate situation of being tied back to back as the four-legged Ugarte trotted around them barking and drooling while Ginsu cackled madly, throwing daggers against the wall next to them.

"Oh, Master! What shall become of our child?" Dande wailed.

Ginsu cackled. "I'll tell you what will become of that child. It will be MINE!! I will raise the Master's child as my own!!"

Dande gasped in horror, her eyes watering over.

"You'll never get away with this," Emmy whined.

"Oh, won't I?" Ginsu said, flipping her red hair around, but no where as near effectively as Darry. "Once the General is sick of all you insane Ho's, who do you think he will turn to, hmmm?"

Emmy stared at Ginsu with wide eyes.

"That's right!" Ginsu exclaimed. "It is I who cast this spell of madness over the campus! And now, the General won't want ANY OF YOU!" Ginsu cackled again.

Emmy thought for a moment. So that's why the diva returned yesterday, which meant...she still had the diva inside her. Emmy closed her eyes and tried to think really loudly to the General. Suddenly the ropes fell away from Emmy's and Dande's wrists and and ankles.

"And as for you!" Ginsu yelled, pulling Dande by the hair and not even noticing the ropes. "You will remain my prisoner until that baby is born.... And then, you will DIE!"

"Wha...wha...what about Emmy?" Dande whimpered.

Ginsu grinned. "You're going to watch while I kill her."

Dande screamed as Ginsu ran the tip of her knife across Dande's cheek.

Emmy took a deep breath. She knew the Diva was there somewhere. "Everytime I think I'm OUT," Emmy said slowly gesturing her hands upward, "the wacks keep pulling me back IN," she growled, pulling her arms back to her body for emphasis.

"What?!" Ginsu yelled, putting the knife to Dande's throat as Dande screamed again.

Emmy gasped. The diva really was there. Emmy steadied herself despite her overwhelming neurosis. She planted a foot in the ground and turned quickly to face Ginsu. "Get away from her, you BITCH!"

Ugarte barked furiously at Emmy. Ginsu began to laugh. "What did you say to me?" she asked, brandishing her knife at Emmy.

Emmy took a step back. Maybe that wasn't such a good idea, she thought, as Ugarte began snapping at her legs.

~*~

The General jumped down the hole that Emmy and Dande had fallen through. He looked up at the Ho's who were attempting to carefully lower themselves down. "We haven't much time!" he shouted.

"Well, if you'd help us!" Darry snapped, annoyed that she had to run through the grass in her new Gucci pumps.

"Come on!" the General ordered, waving for them to follow. "Just jump, it's not far."

~*~

"Ugarte," Ginsu said. "Leave her to me. I want to stab her in the back myself."

"You...you...you coward!" Dande exclaimed.

Ginsu swung her arm toward Dande, threatening her with the knife.

"Leave Emmy alone," Dande said.

"You stand against the wall and SHUT UP!" Ginsu screeched. "You sniveling little harpie! I can't believe the Master ever consorted with such a poor excuse for a wench like you! Heh-heh. You always talked like you were such a powerful wench, Dande. Oh wait, or is that Ednad?" Ginsu snickered.

Dande twitched.

"Ednad! Ednad! Ednad!" Ginsu teased. "Oooohh, scary....say her name backwards....invoke the power of the Wench...." Ginsu laughed. "See, Ugarte, I told you! She's no Wench!" Ginsu turned back to Dande. "You're PATHETIC!"

Dande closed her eyes and shook her head. Then she opened her eyes. She looked at Emmy and then to Ginsu. "Are you tawkin' ta me?"

Ginsu smirked at Dande.

"You tawkin' ta me?!" Dande took a step forward.

"Shut up and stand back," Ginsu said.

"You tawkin' ta ME?!" Dande charged as her face held a tough expression. "I don't see no other wench around here," Dande growled extending her arms to gesture around the the room, "so you must be tawkin' ta me!!"

Emmy's mouth dropped open as she watched Dande bait Ginsu. The melodramatic Mary Sue nightmare was suddenly replaced with....De Niro.

Suddenly Dande lunged at Ginsu, going straight for her throat with her still well-manicured nails and then landing an impressive punch to Ginsu's stomach. Ginsu grunted and staggered backwards.

And Emmy suddenly felt a surge of self-esteem. She bent down and grabbed the rope. She swung it around the Ugarte's mid-section while she was distracted by the sudden appearance of Dande's true Wench nature.

Ugarte growled and snapped at Emmy.

Dande kicked Ginsu in the knee and the red Sith stumbled.

"Oh, BITE ME, you ugly mutt!" Emmy yelled, pulling the rope taught and attaching it to a convenient hook on the wall.

So Ugarte bit Emmy's leg. Emmy howled and kicked at Ugarte. The Mastiff jumped on her hind legs and pushed Emmy to the ground.

And suddenly, Space Dog flew out from the darkness, landing on Ugarte's broad back. Emmy kicked Ugarte and rolled out from underneath her, the glimpse of a BLUE blade catching her eye. Emmy scrambled to her feet and hobbled past the catfighting Wench and Sith to the General.

"General!" Emmy yelled. "Break up those two now!"

The General just stared at Dande and Ginsu. "Wait, do you think they might rip each other's dresses?"

Dande punched Ginsu in the face.

Emmy smacked the back of the General's head. "Hello, McGeneral! The Wench is pregnant with YOUR MASTER'S CHILD!"

The General rolled his eyeballs at Emmy and then turned his attention back to the catfight.

"You WENCH! You stole my Jedi! " Ginsu yelled as she attempted to scratch Dande's eyes out.

Dande grabbed Ginsu's hair. "You wanna piece o'me, you Sith bitch?"

"Let go of my HAIR!" Ginsu shrieked, grabbing the sleeve of Dande's dress.

"AAAAHH! You ripped my dress! Now you're really gonna get it!"

Darry marched ahead of the on-looking Scooby Gang and slapped the General across the face, "Snap out of it!"

The General blinked.

"Quit staring and DO SOMETHING!" Darry blew a bubble. "I'm expecting a call!"

Diebin watched the catfight with disgust. "There's no WAY that Ginsu bitch is a Sith!"

"I know," Darry said indignantly.

"General!" Emmy shouted. "Ginsu said she put a spell over the entire campus, which is why things have been so strange lately. It explains my born again Diva experience yesterday."

Space Dog, having humiliated Ugarte into pathetic submission, came running back over to Jael and started barking.

"What's that Space Dog?"

Darry groaned

"Ugarte and Ginsu were the ones responsible for the Tattler articles?"

"Alright, that's it," Emmy said, rolling up the sleeves of her jammies. "No more Miss Neurotic Ho."

"Lemme at her!" Diebin yelled.

Darry spit out her gum. "Time to kick some ass."

Shana pulled a convenient band out of her pocket and tied her hair back. "She wants to see homicidal, I'll show her homicidal."

As the rest of the Ho's turned their anger on Ginsu as they assisted Dande in beating the crap out of her, Caeryn stood back and watched. After all, this didn't erase the fact that the General had crashed her database.

The General realized that anger led to hate and hate led to suffering and the Dark Side. But since all the Ho anger had been directed at him for the past week, he felt it a healthy dose of poetic justice for them to kick the daylights out of Ginsu who had started this mess in the first place.

Finally, as the seething vengeance reached a fever pitch, he intervened, parting the sea of Ho's and ending the battle.

Except for Dande who continued to pummel Ginsu.

The General grabbed Dande around the waist and pulled her off as Dande hissed. He set Dande down several yards away and turned back to Ginsu who twitched and sniveled and tried to be brave in the face of the General's quiet wrath.

"So you are the one who has caused all this trouble on my campus," he said very quietly but in a tone that the Ho's knew meant serious business.

"I.... I did it all for you, General! Forget them! You would be happier with me!"

Dande responded with scathing laughter.

"They don't treat you right," Ginsu said. "Look how quickly they turned on you! I would never do that," she said, batting her half-glued false eyelashes. "Forget your Ho's!" she shrieked.

The General took a breath. All the Ho's awaited his fierce response with eager anticipation.

"They are not my Ho's," he said quietly.

The Ho's mouths dropped open as they prepared to storm out in a collective huff.

"I am their General."

"Aw, yeah," Diebin said.

Ginsu shrieked and crumpled to the dirt floor.

"Um, he called us Ho's," Emmy said. "Did anyone hear that? He knows the rule. He. Doesn't. Call. Me. A. Ho."

"Diva's back," Shana grinned.

"So what do we do about Ugarte?" Ban asked. "We can't beat up a dog."

"Yes," Emmy said. "And you will notice that I didn't."

"Well," the General said. "Somehow we need to exorcise the spirit of Ugarte out of that dog."

"I'll call a priest," Dande said. "If you let me toss Ginsu into our next bonfire."

All eyes turned to Dande.

"Okay, so explain this," Darry said, searching in her pocket for more gum. "What happened to that pathetic, whiny act of yours."

"It's simple really," Dande said. "She said my name backwards, thereby invoking the power of the Wench."

"So, you're all normal now?" Ban asked.

"Yeah."

"Except for that whole Master fixation," Dorotea said.

Dande glared at Dorotea. "I seem to recall that you were once--"

"OKAY!" Dorotea said. "So we all done here?"

"Just one more kick," Dande begged.

"Actually," Julia said, stepping up and snapping photos of the blubbering Ginsu, her spell broken as much as her power. "I think this will be much more effective."

"Yeah," Sere said. "A complete exposé in the Estrogen AND Testosterone County Journals will be very, very satisfying."

"Oh, fine," Dande said, turning and kicking the wall. The dirt caved in and a large pile of multi-colored stones fell to the floor at her feet. "What's this?"

The General turned toward Dande and picked up one of the stones. He turned it over in his hand. "This can't be," he said. He punched the wall a little higher, and gold coins spilled out of the hole.

The Ho's gasped.

Julia and Sere looked at each other with wide eyes and giant grins, saying, "They're digging in the wrong place!"

~*~

"Why do we have to tell him? How is he ever going to know?"

"Emmy, it just wouldn't be right," Julia said as the General, the Ho's, the Wench, Space Dog, one fallen fakey Sith, and a haggard Mastiff walked back to the admin building.

"Right schmight!" Emmy said. "We found the stuff."

"Yes, but Indy has been looking for this for a long, long time."

Emmy huffed and flapped her hand. "Geez, I'm out of it for a little while and everyone gets delusions of generosity."

"Watch it!" Darry snapped, both her voice and her gum. "Or I'll make sure your Chanel ends up on the next bonfire."

"Oh yeah?" Emmy said. "Well how about if I make a little phone call to a certain Senator about a certain Federal Agent?"

"Julia!"

"Yeah, Darry?"

"Take a picture of Emmy in her flannel pajamas!"

Emmy gasped with great offense but said nothing.

Julia stayed quiet as well and clutched her camera in her hands.

Darry began to whistle the theme from Winnie the Pooh.

Emmy stopped abruptly and faced the General. "Make her stop."

"I can't make her do anything," the General said, arching his eyebrow with amusement.

Emmy huffed and brushed her hair out of her face. "Well, what good are you then?"

"He's damn good, that's what," Shana purred.

Emmy hid herself in the middle of the Ho's as they approached the driveway so none of the students could get a good look at her attire.

Caeryn sighed. Had they forgotten about the fact that he crashed her database?

Diebin fell to the back of the pack now that the melée was over. She was still out of job, and the General hadn't spoken to her since that Hooters incident.

Ban just grinned while envisioning her uber opera house.

And Jael, although no longer under the influence of Ginsu's spell, had found she'd come to enjoy the idea of people cowering when she entered a room.

Space Dog just wanted to eat and have a good nap.

~*~

By early evening most everything seemed back to normal. Aside from the fact that Diebin had disappeared again, Caeryn wasn't speaking to the General (who kept experiencing those voids that he hoped would disappear with Ginsu's demise), Darry had destroyed her clinic in the futile search for a cigarette, Ban kept harassing everyone to call a lawyer and an accountant, and Emmy, although restored to her former Divaness, didn't seem quite the same.

"I can't believe I did that," she said for the umpteenth time.

"Emmy," Judy said. "It was just a tiara."

"It was NOT JUST a tiara!"

"Emmy," Ban said, "you are more than just a piece of hair jewelry."

Emmy huffed. How dare she call it hair jewelry. She stood up, brushed the wrinkles out of her velvet skirt, and stomped to the window. "Oh, no."

"What is it?" the General asked.

"Dande," Emmy said. "She's gazing at the sunset again."

"Oh well," Shana said, "her relative normalcy couldn't last forever."

Emmy looked closer. "Um, hold that thought."

"Why?" Shana said.

"She's laughing," Emmy said, turning her head to look at the Ho's. Then she darted out to the front steps with the rest of them.

Dande was laughing her ass off, in fact. "Take that, you Sith bitch!"

"Uh...who's she talking to?" Judy asked.

Dande suddenly turned around. "No one," she said. "Just having a moment of recollection. The look on her face when I returned to my Wench self. Emmy, Supah Diva!"

"Uh, yeah?" Emmy said.

"You and me are the tag team Sith butt kickin' bitches, baby! You da woman!"

"Oh. My. God." Darry said.

"Yes," Dande said. "The Wench is back, my sistah. And, General."

"Yes, Dande," he said, rather amused at this display.

"As much as I appreciate your kindness and generosity, don't go there with the Wench."

"Understood," the General said.

Suddenly, headlights caught everyone's attention as a red Mustang drove slowly toward the gathering.

"Somebody notify the authorities," Caeryn said. "Cal is out prowling again."

"Um, I don't think that's Cal's car," Brenda said. "I rode in it. It aint that nice."

The Mustang rolled to a stop right next to Dande. The passenger side door opened and the strains of "Shoop" filled the air. Dande turned with some confusion and peeked inside. A moment later a hand reached out, grabbed her by the hair, and pulled her inside, slamming the door behind her.

The General immediately hurried down the steps toward the car, but it quickly peeled off. The window suddenly rolled down and Dande leaned out and waved. "Don't wait up, girls!" she giggled as the car sped away into the sunset.

"What the hell was that?" Darry asked.

"No clue," Emmy said.

Shana and Ban looked at each other for a moment. "Nah," they said, shaking their heads and walking back into the building.