Nobody sat near the General on the way home. No one was impressed that he was piloting a spacecraft, which was usually something that would get at least a couple of them revved up. He had thought of several things to say to each one of them, but no particular time seemed opportune enough. However, he did realize that they were all tired, rather drained from their latest adventure, and they all probably thought they were going to return to campus with a big mess to fix. He would simply give them the space they needed until they cooled off and things got back to normal again. He had realized quite a bit over the last few days, and he knew that the best way for him to handle this was to simply let the situation procede as they were most comfortable with it. If it took some time to re-establish their trust, then so be it.

The main difficulty was that he sensed so many different attitudes from each of them. Many of them wanted to put the whole thing behind them but were dealing with wounded pride or with the simple peer pressure from the other girls. Perhaps once they were home and relaxed, they would feel more comfortable with letting their guard down.

Of course, he would also have to explain to Ban about her opera house fund. He wasn't quite sure how to handle that yet. One step at a time.

At least there was only one potential mess awaiting him.

~*~

"What did I ever do to him, hmm? And what did I ever do to them?" Once the scanning was complete, Jael got to work on her new Geek Art project. Although the banner, redecoration, and the General's new wardrobe were probably quite enough from a revenge standpoint, she simply could not stop herself. "What am I, Space Dog, chopped liver?"

Space Dog barked.

"Oh, right, some people actually LIKE chopped liver," Jael snapped as she went to furious work. "They all leave me behind without so much as a second thought. I remain here, faithful to his supreme Generalness, getting his damn computer system up and running, never giving him an ounce of trouble or upset. And the first tiny little second they call for him, he's out the door like a rocket without so much as a goodbye in order to save those Ho's - who never wrote or called to see how I was doing in my abandoned state - and bring them all back here where everything is hunky dory, when I did all the work!"

Space Dog barked.

"Okay, so I didn't do ALL the work, but I certainly did more than they did. Who was here when he received those pictures of their wild parties with other men? ME! Who was here when he received all those mean and nasty postcards?"

Space Dog barked.

"That's right. ME!"

Space Dog barked.

"Yes, and you, of course." Jael patted Space Dog on the head.

Space Dog barked.

Jael sighed. "No, don't chew on Emmy when she gets back. That's just not nice."

Space Dog barked.

"I know that's not very mean! So I'm a big talker, okay? I'm working up to my wrath. You gotta a problem with that?"

Space Dog cowered.

"Didn't think so." Jael waited impatiently while the printer produced her newest creations. Grinning, she held them up to Space Dog. "Front page for the next Tattler. What do you think?"

Space Dog barked.

"Well, it doesn't matter if people actually BELIEVE that the Ho's would have a lusty beach romp with Leo. All that matters is that it appears in full color on the front page."

Space Dog barked.

~*~

The HSU shuttle landed softly on the tarmac next to the corporate jet and Apache helicopter that Diebin picked up at a military surplus auction. The General powered down the engines and lowered the ramp. He got out of his seat and attempted to help the Ho's with their luggage. He was met with a series of "I got it's," except for Darry who naturally expected her bags to be carried.

The Ho students walked quietly to the dorm, and the Ho staff members walked quietly to the admin building with the General bringing up the rear. He wanted to make sure they all got settled in, and then he'd go about the task of paying each of them a visit, prepared for anything they might dish out at him.

The staff Ho's breathed a sigh of relief as they entered the front door, the sense of home filling each of them with a pleasant calm. Then they spotted the welcome home banner draped across the lobby, and they smiled.

The student Ho's entered the lobby of the dorm, and sighed happily when they spotted the welcome home banner that the General had posted for them.

Then all the Ho's, staff and students, dropped their luggage in their respective buildings when they realized they weren't looking at welcome home greetings.

"Welcome Transfer Students?" Kymira asked in the dorm.

"Come to find out, he never liked you?" Judy said. She turned quickly, as did her fellow staff members, and glared at the General. He gave them a curious glance and then looked up, his mouth dropping open shortly thereafter.

"Hey guys!" Shana said, bounding into the room and very relieved to have company besides the bots. Her happy greeting was soon cut off by a "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?"

The General stepped forward toward the banner, his mouth still hanging open.

And then a voluminous, collective scream was heard coming from the dorms.

~*~

"I am going to have nightmares FOREVER!" Emmy said as they marched back from inspecting the disturbance in the dorms. "I hate clowns!"

"No kidding," Diebin said.

The General, beside himself with confusion, sputtered, "You…you have to believe that I…I didn't—"

"Well, SOMEBODY did!" Diebin said.

"Okay, hold on," Darry said. "I think we can all agree that even HE wouldn't pick a Bozo motif."

The Ho's didn't respond. She had a very valid point. But they weren't exactly in a mood to cut him any slack.

"And the banners?" Caeryn said, clutching Paddington in the crook of her arm.

Shana sighed and then stopped walking. Of course, no one noticed in their agitated states. "Guys," she said, "I think I know what's going on here."

The Ho's finally slowed as their heads turned back. They all stopped, including the General, and gave Shana impatient looks.

"Well…. Jael sort of…. Wigged out," Shana said.

"Jael? No way," Diebin said. "I'm the wiggy one."

"Well, overall I'd have to agree with you on that," Shana said. "But the reason I came home early is that Crow told me that Jael kind of….lost it."

"Jael doesn't lose it," Emmy said. "I don't care what that tin can secretary of yours said."

"She ordered the Bozo redecoration. She cleared out all the chocolate, whipped cream, and Nutella. Hired the Ewoks to do it, no less. She caused a little blip in the mostly restored database. She—"

"Wait, wait, wait, wait," Caeryn said. "The mostly restored database?"

Shana looked down and kicked a rock.

"We…." The General cleared his throat. "We hired a team to restore the database," he said softly. "We were nearly done, and I'm sure in no time—"

"AND JAEL RE-DESTROYED IT?!" Caeryn shrieked, her eyes turning manic.

"Now, calm down," Shana said. "She didn't destroy it. Just a little blip. I've been working on fixing it. Nothing major. All under control." She smiled at Caeryn. "Breathe. Breathe. Breathe."

"Okay, I'm fine," Caeryn squeaked. She had expected to come home to a disaster. The General had worked to fix the disaster, which meant she should like him again. But she didn't want to like him because he messed it up in the first place. And then Jael messed up his clean up from his mess up but not as badly messed up as the General's original mess up.

"Wait a minute," Darry said. "This still doesn't explain the motive."

"Yeah," Emmy said. "Why would Jael do all this? She has no reason to. She likes us."

"Let's put it this way," Shana said. "Let's say you're Jael. You're studying like mad. You finally come out of your room only to discover that you've been abandoned. Your friends have taken off with Han in the Falcon for a sunny vacation while you're left behind with the bots and Cal. Said friends don't write or call to see how you are doing. The General finally returns from…." Shana gave him a sharp look. "….wherever the hell he was. So you help him out, fix the system, et cetera. And then at the drop of a hat when these same friends get themselves in hot water, the General takes off to rescue them, leaving you again without a word or well wishes with nothing but obnoxious bots to harass you about these very circumstances."

"Oh," Emmy said.

The General rubbed his forehead. Maybe he should have shown the Ho's how to fly the ship and stayed on the beach all by himself. "Shana, is there anything else you wish to share with us?"

"Uh…. She kinda….redecorated yours and Die's offices"

"She. What?" Diebin said.

"Maybe you should go take a look," Shana said, not even wanting to be the messenger for that.

The Ho's and the General walked slowly into the admin building as Diebin took off like a rocket. As they walked through the lounge and began to make their way up the stairs, they heard Diebin's scream of horror. They took their time, however, thinking it best to be out of the line of fire as they heard various objects crashing against the wall.

"Holy shit," Darry said as they finally all stepped into Diebin's office.

"That's just so terribly wrong," Ban said.

"Oh, I like it!"

The Ho's turned to stare at Dande.

"Where the hell did you come from?" Darry said.

Dande blinked, turned slowly, and whisked herself away.

"Well," Caeryn said, squeezing Paddington's arm. "Think about it this way, Die. That convent was really dark and dreary."

Diebin turned to Caeryn. "It's BLUE!" she spat. "And…and…and…PURPLEY!!"

"It's mauve," Emmy said. "Duh."

Diebin grabbed a letter opened and charged at Emmy…who ran and hid behind Shana.

"Enough freakiness from you!" Darry yelled, grabbing Diebin's arm. "Got it?"

Diebin dropped the letter opener, pouted, and then ran out of the office.

"Diebin!" the General called after her.

"Oh, let her cool her jets," Darry said, walking over to his office door. "I assume your office is the same col—WHOA!!" Darry jumped back and turned her head away.

The Ho's scrambled toward her, shielding their eyes and responding with a collective "AAHHH!"

The General squinted into his office. "They say that yellow is a very good color for uplifting one's mood," he said. "I'm sure that was her intention. I had been a little despondent over recent events."

"Um, that's not yellow," Shana said. "That's…uh…."

"Neon," Emmy said. "And very, very frightening."

"I am getting a severe headache," Darry said. "I'm going to check the clinic. If anything is awry, consider her dead."

"Yeah," Shana said. "I didn't check any of your rooms or offices, so who knows."

"Why not?" Caeryn said, really wishing somebody had so she would be prepared and so Paddington wouldn't be so scared.

"Well, I was trying to get the database fixed," Shana said.

"But…."

"Caeryn, I'm sure everything will be fine," the General said.

"That's easy for you to say!" she snapped with a bit of a shriek for good measure.

"Shana, you could have AT LEAST called a decorator so I didn't have to see those CLOWNS," Emmy said.

"Let the students worry about redecorating," Shana said.

Emmy, sensing clearly that no one would even try to understand her pain, marched out of the room and toward her own office.

"Perhaps I will go have a word with Jael in order to forestall any more disasters," the General said.

~*~

The General walked to his closet, wanting to change out of his flight clothes before finding the wayward Ho. He jumped in shock when the door swung open, the closet glowing with almost the same neon radiance as his office. In spite of the fact that he probably should have been very angry since all of his black clothing had been replaced with the most indescribably atrocious wardrobe he'd ever laid his eyes on, he laughed. Not because Jael was hurting, but because he admired her spunk.

And he knew there was only one way to handle this.

~*~

"Has she come down yet?"

The Ho's turned their heads at the sound of the General entering the lounge. And then they jumped to their feet at the sight of him, staring at him with gaping mouths.

"That's not…polyester?" Darry asked, the word rolling bitterly off her tongue.

"Yes, I believe so," the General said.

The Ho's blinked at him. White shoes, hyper yellow polyester pants, white belt, and the most God awful shimmering pink and red plaid shirt. There was simply no way to respond.

"Well, I shall go look for her then," he said as he turned and walked away. He knew full well what the consequences of his actions were. But the fact that none of them made any attempt to contact Jael also held its own consequence. And he wanted to make sure they saw that.

~*~

The General opened Jael's bedroom door, having sensed her the minute he climbed up the stairs. He watched her frantically working at her laptop as she sat in her window seat facing away from the door. She didn't respond as he took a few steps forward.

"Jael."

She jumped, nearly tossing her laptop in the air and falling off the window seat. She scrambled to her feet and then stopped breathing. And not in a good way. She felt the most horrible humiliation flood her veins as she stared at him. He looked really, really awful. Even with The Look, he looked so completely offensive.

She slumped down on the bed. She was a failure as a Ho. In her efforts for brilliant vengeance, she'd made the General unattractive. Worse than unattractive. He looked like an idiot.

"Actually, those banners were rather brilliant from a vengeance standpoint," he said, sitting down next to her.

Jael groaned and dropped her head to her hands.

The General put his arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head. "I am sorry that I left you here alone without a word," he murmured against her hair. "I could never fully express how much it has meant to me to have you here for the past few days."

Jael was caving and fast.

"And you have every right to be upset with the other girls, and they do understand that. I think they feel quite awful about it." He hugged her close. "I do hope we can all talk this out."

"I'm sorry," Jael whispered.

He placed his hands on each side of her head and turned her face upward. "There is nothing to forgive. As along as you promise me that you are alright," he said, searching her out with his eyes.

The eyes did it. "Yes," she said.

He smiled. "And something else," he said, reaching into his pocket.

"Oh?"

He pulled out a key fob with the Porsche logo on it. "These are for you," he said, jangling the keys in front of her.

Jael's eyes grew wide, and she stared at him in shocked disbelief.

He smiled and nodded. "Yes, it's parked in the garage. A Boxter. Silver. For you." He raised his hand and touched her cheek. "You are so very sweet," he said, running his fingers up her temple and outlining her eyebrow. "And so very special."

Jael nearly melted into the bed, except for the fact that her brain required affirmation. "A Porsche," she stated. "You bought a Porsche for me."

"Yes," he chuckled.

Jael squealed and bounced up, throwing her arms around his neck. He laughed and toppled over onto his back, pulling her down with him.

~*~

Emmy sat in the lounge, forcing herself to keep staring at the magazine article she was pretending to read in feigned distraction from Darry's conversation with the General as he suddenly appeared once again.

"Oh, thank God," Darry said. "I was afraid she had destroyed them."

"You are not fond of me in polyester?" he asked.

Darry eyed the General as he gave her The Stance, now dressed in a black shirt and form-fitting black pants. "Hmm, I think the idea of you out of polyester is far more appealing," she said as she puffed.

Emmy sighed and tossed the magazine on the table, standing up with a huff.

"Problem?" Darry said, turning her head to her.

"I need some air," Emmy said without looking in their direction as she walked out the front door.

Any excuse would have worked to get away from him, but the clean, cool air felt refreshingly good to her. Not that she hadn't enjoyed the beach, but she was happy to be home where she could once again wear her slim velvet skirts and long sleeves. Not to mention the fact that the sand was a bitch to clean out of the prongs of her tiara.

And she still wasn't quite sure how to deal with him. Aside from that frightening clothing incident, he looked absolutely delicious. But there were too many icky things bubbling under the surface for her to just forgive and forget.

Emmy continued to walk along the curve of the driveway. She looked up to see Jael walking toward her with the biggest grin on her face that she had ever seen. Emmy sighed. She was kicking herself for not making a better effort to get in touch with Jael during their vacation.

"Hi," Emmy said as Jael approached.

"Hey."

The two Ho's looked at each other for a moment. Then Emmy stepped forward and pulled Jael into a hug. "I'm sorry," Emmy said.

"Me, too."

"I'm obnoxious."

"I know." Jael stepped back and smiled.

Emmy returned the smile. "I know how fond you are of Han, and I should have tried harder to find you before we left."

Jael shook her head. "It's okay. Hey, I got to have the General's undivided attention while you guys were away. There's certainly something to be said for that."

"Yeah," Emmy said. "He's lucky it was you."

"He's trying to make things right, you know," Jael said. "He missed you guys a lot. Tacked your pictures up on the board."

Emmy nodded. "Yeah, well." She looked around a bit. "I think I'm just going to keep walking here."

"Okay," Jael said. "You should probably swing by the garage," she said with a smile. "I'll see ya later."

"Bye," Emmy said as Jael practically skipped away.

Emmy smiled. Why couldn't she be as gracious and forgiving as Jael? That was something she was definitely going to work on. Tomorrow, perhaps.

She continued walking, deciding she would make her way to the garage as Jael suggested. Something about that smile on her face told Emmy that there was a mystery to examine.

~*~

Emmy was so stunned at the vision of the red, gleeming beauty with the giant bow on the hood with her name on it that she didn't even hear the footsteps behind her. This had to be some kind of joke.

"No joke."

She spun around quickly at the sound of his voice. Making a fabulously quick recovery, she said, "It has to be a joke. You can't afford a Mercedes."

The General chuckled. "You are right. I can't. But it isn't a joke."

"Did you steal it?"

"Of course not!"

"Well, it wouldn't surprise me at this point," she said.

"Here are the keys," he said, holding them out to her.

Emmy snatched them from his hand. "So how did you pay for it?"

"You ask too many questions," he said. "It is a gift. You are simply supposed to say 'thank you' and not ask for particulars."

Emmy clenched the keys in her hand. "I've had quite enough of you telling me what to do."

The General's face fell from the pleasant smile he had been giving her. "I'm sorry. I wasn't—"

"I don't want to hear it," she said, turning her back to him and stepping forward to examine the car.

"Can we talk about this?" he asked.

Emmy folded her arms in front of her. "You called me a flake," she said without turning to face him.

"What?"

"You told Darry that I was a flake…or flighty, some such thing."

"I never!"

Emmy turned on her heel. "Look me in the eye and say that you never told her that you questioned letting me, the flightiest woman on campus, be in charge of public relations for the university."

The General's heart stopped momentarily. "I…. I didn't mean that—"

"So you DID say it!" she snapped, stepping quickly around him.

The General reached out and grabbed her arm, halting her retreating. "No, Emmy, you misunderstood."

"So you didn't say that I was flighty? You did or you didn't. Which is it?"

"You are taking this out of context," he said.

Emmy pulled her arm away from his grasp. "Taking it out of context? What other context is there? You play devotion to my face and then you giggle about my stupidity when I'm not around."

"No," he said emphatically. "I would never think you stupid or say anything of the sort about you. You are far from it."

"Oh, okay," Emmy said. "Not stupid. Just an airhead. I feel much better now. Gee, what else do you say about me behind my back?"

The General took a deep breath and put his hands on her shoulders. "Please listen to me."

"You know, I can forgive all the other stuff. All the ridiculous alpha male behavior, the locking us up, and everything else. I can even forget about this lawsuit," she said. "But the fact that you have no faith in me—"

"You must let me explain," he said.

Emmy looked down and sighed. "Fine. Say what you have to say." She took a step back from him and looked up.

"First of all, I have never said anything hurtful or degrading about you," he began. "I never could. And I do not doubt your intelligence. The point I was making about you to Darry—"

"And you couldn't make a point about me TO ME?" Emmy said turning away from him and pacing slowly in front of him.

"You are making too much out of this," he said, growing somewhat exasperated.

"Oh, really?"

"Yes, really. I was simply surprised that you had chosen that particular position. It just didn't seem to suit your personality or the image you project," he said.

She turned to face him, folding her arms. "And what exactly does that mean?"

"Well, you have a certain flair for the dramatic," he said.

"And what's wrong with that?"

The General finally smiled. "Nothing," he said softly. "But to someone who doesn't know you, it could be easily misunderstood."

"Oh, misunderstood? As in flighty?" she huffed.

"You are very bright," he said, still holding a smile. "But look at you. The way you dress. That tiara," he said. "Others, especially outsiders, might not understand as we do."

"I see," she said.

"Especially the tiara," he chuckled. "They might see it as…."

"Ostentacious. Foolish. Ridiculous. Even flighty." she responded calmly, listing all the things that would kill her to hear anybody say about her.

The General smiled, happy that they were finally resolving this. "Yes, exactly."

"And the fact that you have created a public relations nightmare by locking up your staff and students, not to mention landing in the loony bin twice, does not really matter one iota in comparison to the embarrassment that my appearance and temperament causes this fine, upstanding institution to suffer," she responded in her warm, inviting tone that had reeled him into a false sense of security.

"Emmy…." Her icy glare prevented him from saying anything more or from stepping forward to close the gap of several feet between them.

She stared at him for a moment. Then she reached up, removed the tiara from her head, and hurled it to the ground at his feet. She turned and walked quickly away.

"Please, Emmy," he said.

She responded by turning around and flinging the car keys at him, except this time she aimed for his head. He grabbed them just short of reaching his face, at a loss for how he suddenly found himself in yet another mess. He sighed, bent down to pick up the slightly tarnished tiara, and walked slowly back to the admin building, too distracted to notice the snickering coming from behind the far wall of the garage.