"Could you two perhaps see about getting this mess cleaned up?" the General said, bending down to pick up the slumbering Dean from the floor.

"Well, there is that bonfire tonight," Darry said.

The General really had to question the wisdom of such an event. But he wasn't about to be misquoted in the Tattler again. "I will take Caeryn to her room."

"No," Shana said. "Take her to her office and put her on the couch."

"Why?" the General asked. "She needs rest."

"Paddington is there," Shana said.

The General raised an eyebrow at her.

"Trust me."

~*~

Emmy sat and stared at the blank word document. Well, it wasn't entirely blank. It simply said 'Job Alternatives for Diebin' at the top in bold 14-point Times New Roman. The cursor blinked. Emmy had to make this right. She tried to remember all those job openings that Caeryn ran by her before she got the ridiculous idea that she could be the PR Director. She should have taken the Librarian position! Then she could have hidden in the corner and read books. But now Dorotea had the job. It was too late to switch. And now Emmy had to deal with 79 voice mail messages from irate parents and members of the community.

Whoever was in charge of the switchboard had given orders for all complaints to go to the PR Director.

Emmy dialed Caeryn's extension. No answer. She had heard all the screaming and commotion a few doors down. Perhaps Caeryn was involved in that, whatever it was.

Emmy sighed. Well, it didn't really matter. Whoever was putting the calls through was simply following instructions, she supposed, and she really didn't want to bother anyone anyway. She would deal with the calls.

And she really didn't want to investigate what all the screaming was about. She had to find a job for Diebin and attend the high school fair this afternoon.

Emmy picked up her pen and began to scribble on her notepad. She had to find Diebin another job. No one would ever speak to her again if she didn't.

Emmy reached up and scratched her head, used to the idea that her tiara was gone. But now it seemed that her hair was going flat, too.

~*~

The General carried the sleeping Dean into her office and quietly shut the door. He walked over the sofa and slowly bent down to place Caeryn there to continue her nap. And then he stopped himself. He stood back up and turned around, sitting down on the sofa with Caeryn in his arms. He cradled her shoulders in his arm and rested her head against his chest, sighing as he rested his chin on the top of her head.

Then he looked down as Caeryn stirred and settled into his body. Darry was right, Caeryn looked positively angelic with the benefit of slumber, perfectly innocent and unable to harm a fly. Despite the destruction she had caused, the General wasn't angry. He was worried. Something was very wrong on his campus. He could understand why everyone was so upset by the Tattler articles, but he would have expected a different kind of swift action on the part of his Dean involving firing the entire newspaper staff for irresponsible and slanderous behavior, maybe even some tears. But not turning into a near axe murderer.

He gently entered Caeryn's mind, sending a calming influence through her psyche. Although, at the moment, he could sense no distress. She was simply fatigued. For the past couple of days he had been trying to ascertain the cause of these troubles, but with his own energy drained from dealing with tantrum after tantrum, he wasn't exactly in top form.

He leaned his head down and rested his cheek against Caeryn's forehead as his fingers stroked through her hair. "What is it, love?" he whispered softly. "What is causing all this pain?" He placed a gentle kiss to her forehead.

The General sat there, holding Caeryn while she slept, until he could sense her beginning to rise out of deep sleep. He stood up and then laid her down on the sofa, pulling the blanket from its perch on the back of the couch and covering her with it.

And now he really had to find Diebin.

~*~

Darry shoved a cube of raspberry flavored Hubba Bubba into her mouth. She examined herself in her navy Armani suit as she chomped and snapped on the cigarette substitute. Satisfied with her own post-Tattler-tantrum appearance she turned and walked out into the hall.

And right into the General.

He smiled.

Darry blew a bubble and snapped. Flipping her hair twice she said, "That fact that you would even THINK that I'd being jonesing after a nine year old is repugnant!" She jabbed her finger into his chest, flipped her hair two more times, blew another bubble, and walked away from him with a huff.

Well, at least someone could still storm the halls since Emmy was no longer able to.

The General growled. He was going to march straight to that Tattler office and shut it down immediately.

And then he was going to buy Darry a nicotine patch.

~*~

"Bonfire tonight! Bonfire tonight! Bonfire tonight!" Jael happily announced to each individual person as she passed out fliers. "You hate it? Let's torch it!"

Space Dog barked.

"Quiet, Space Dog."

~*~

As the General descended the stairs on his way to find his secretary and put a kabosh on the insidious yellow journalism that had plagued his campus, the doorball rang.

"Good afternoon, sir," the happy UPS man said. "Here's your package, I will just need a signature."

"Of course," the General said, taking the delivery man's datapad and signing his invisible signature.

The UPS man handed the General the package. The General gasped as he felt his limbs go weak.

The UPS man checked the General's signature. "That would be Ke...."

"Kenobi."

"Right. Thank you, sir. Have a good day."

The General closed the door without answering, distressed at the sudden weakness he felt. He looked down and saw that it was addressed to Caeryn. He walked into the lounge and set the package down and then paced away to get his bearings. And then, he felt fine. He looked over to the package and sensed a blank spot all around it. The General squeezed his eyes shut. Now the Force was throwing tantrums on him, too.

Just then there was another knock at the door. He walked over and opened it, feeling mostly restored from that...dizzy spell.

"Hello, sir. "Is Darry here?"

The General had a very bad feeling about this. "She--"

"I'm her boyfriend," the precocious boy said. "I looked for her at the races but she wasn't there...."

The General fought every urge in his body.

"...so I thought I'd come by and see if she wanted to go for a ride now...."

He looked beyond the wunderkind and saw a podracer parked on the lawn.

"I brought some beef jerky and some Pepsi. Would you like some?"

All his training, everything that he knew to be good and true about himself screamed in his head.

"My mom says that I have to be home before dinner, but she thinks it's good that I have a girlfriend, so she said it was okay to come over here."

The Force was with him, telling him exactly what not to do.

"And I figure, chicks really dig racers, although Darry isn't just any chick if you know what I mean...."

And he just didn't care.

"...she's an ang--"

The General grasped the boy's face with his hand and tossed him off the front stair. As the devil spawn nine-year-old biffed against the pavement, the General yelled, "And get that piece of junk off my lawn!"

The kid took off like a shot...well, he limped a lot, but he got out of there as fast as he could.

The General slammed the door shut as the offending engines powered up, and with a violent rattling of the windows, the brat was gone. He sighed, his head now pounding.

And then he heard another vehicle pull into the driveway. The General looked around the lounge, hoping somebody else was finally around to deal with this.

Not that anyone else in the building could deal with anything at the moment.

He looked out the window to see who was coming to make his life even more difficult. Then his eyes grew wide. And then he grinned. He opened the door and ran out to the tow truck, his Triumph gloriously mounted to a ramp on the back.

"This yours?" the driver said.

"Oh, yes," the General beamed. He was certain it had been turned into scrap metal by now. "How...."

The driver shrugged. " Somebody called up asking us to pick it up at the impound yard and deliver it here."

"Do you know who?"

"Some woman. Kinda nervous and shy. Asked to remain anonymous. If you'll just sign here."

The General looked up at Emmy's office window and saw a flurry of flannel scurry away from view. He smiled and signed for it as the driver freed it from his truck. "Thank you," the General said enthusiastically.

"Here are the keys and registration. Have fun," the driver walked back to his truck and drove away.

The General shoved the registration in his pocket and swung his leg over the bike. He turned on the engine. The drama could wait. It was time to go for a ride.

~*~

"I don't know what came over me, Paddington, I really don't." Caeryn continued to frantically type, needing to get schedules and the like in order before the week was out.

Paddington sighed so very quietly. He knew how distressed Caeryn had been of late. Even the most dependably stable individual could fall over the edge from time to time.

"But now that I have these schedules to do," Caeryn said, "I have a goal to focus on."

Paddington smiled ever so slightly. It was true that a fixation on anger and revenge could cause one to revert to destructive behavior.

"Enter," Caeryn said when she heard the light knocking on the door.

"Uh," Cal peeked his head in very, very carefully. He had just seen the General's desk.

"Yes, what is it?" Caeryn asked, still typing and not taking her eyes off the monitor.

"You have a package. I found it downstairs."

Caeryn stopped typing, a thrill running through her veins. She jumped out of her chair and ran toward Cal. He promptly set the package on the floor and took off like a bat out of hell down the hallway.

Caeryn squealed as she picked up the package. "They're here, Paddington. They're finally here!" She set the package on her desk and carefully cut through the tape so as not to disturb the contents. Caeryn clapped with glee as she peered in on the small glass aquarium.

Paddington gasped in horror, but Caeryn was giggling too loud to hear him. The aquarium slithered full of worms.

"Not just any worms, Paddington. These are the ysalamiri I ordered. They are, in effect, Force-blockers. They create blank spaces. We'll just see how the General likes these, eh?"

Paddington tried to shake his head in ardent disagreement, but his neck was too full of stuffing. Didn't she know how the General had taken care of her? Held her in his arms while she slept and said such lovely things to her? Paddington wanted to tell her the full details of everything he had seen, but he was unable to get a word in edgewise as Caeryn explained her plan.

~*~

Diebin crouched in the corner of the attic, hiding behind the dusty old Qui clones left over from her cloning machine. She never had the heart to get rid of them, thinking it would upset the General too much. And no one would ever think to look for her here.

Except for the other Ho who had the same zero tolerance for the Master.

"Die? You in here?"

"Yeah, Em. Behind the Qui's."

"Thought so," Emmy said, shuffling in still wearing her flannel jammies and wool charcoal grey Land's End clogs.

"What's with the jammies?" Die asked.

"What's with the brooding?" Emmy asked.

Both Ho's smiled weakly.

"Listen," Emmy said. "I don't want to bother you, but I've had some ideas."

"Oh?"

Emmy unfolded the piece of paper she was carrying. "I made a list," she said, sitting on the dusty floor next to Diebin.

Diebin gave Emmy a strange look. The diva would never sit in the dust among cobweb-covered Qui's.

"It's a list of possible job options for you. Ya know, just in case the General ends up not needing a secretary anymore," Emmy said. "Not that it will ever come to that. I just want to be prepared. Just.... I dunno, just thought. I dunno what I thought."

Diebin smiled. "Thanks. You're a real Ho."

Emmy shook her head. "No, I'm not."

"What? Of course you are."

"I'm not. Ever since that tiara incident." Emmy sniffled. "Look at me. I'm in my jammies all the time, my hair is flattening."

"Aw, c'mon Emmers," Diebin said. "That tiara didn't make you a Ho. You made you a Ho."

"I just don't have it in me anymore," Emmy said. "It's...it's gone."

"Once a Ho, always a Ho," Diebin said. "Sure, you get a little down, feel a little co-dependent. But in the end, you're still a Ho."

"But I've really screwed things up with the General. He'll never forgive me."

"Of course he will. He doesn't hold grudges," Diebin said.

"So why are you brooding?"

"We're talking about you, Emmy."

"Right." Emmy sighed. "But he's upset with me."

"And you were upset with him, you had every right to be. It's okay. You're still a Ho no matter what."

Emmy shook her head. "Don't tell anyone, but...." Emmy leaned closer and whispered very quietly. "I paid his registration and brought his bike back."

Diebin gasped. Alright, so she was still a Ho, but she certainly wasn't a Diva anymore. "Oh, Em, I'm so sorry. That's awful."

"I know," Emmy squeaked as she sniveled.

Diebin patted her on the shoulder. "But there's that bonfire tonight. Maybe that will help restore some righteous anger."

"I can only hope." Emmy sniffled.

"Yeah, me too," Diebin sighed.