Title: Beyond the Sea, Part 1 of 2
Author: Emmy
Rating: FITS (Fun in the Sun)
Archive: Oh, please! Please, please, please, PLEEEEZE!!
Disclaimer: Um...I only own me, and I don´t make any money off of me,either.
Notes: 'Scuse me for being obnoxious. I'm really not trying to hog the story line! I'm just getting lots of silly ideas. Feel free to jump in!!

"This. Is. Heaven."

"You said it, sister." Emmy adjusted the wide brim of her Chanel sun hat that matched the Chanel bathing suit and Chanel sunglasses she had bought earlier in the day with the Senator's gold card.

Darry surveyed the private beach from her lounge chair, adjusting the spaghetti strap of her black, French cut suit in order to avoid a tan line. "We should have done this a long time ago."

"Wow," Emmy said, pulling her sunglasses down her nose. "That's some Federal Agent you've got there."

Darry grinned as she watched Mulder test the water, happy to have convinced him to ditch the suit and tie for a much, much less modest suit of another sort. "Oh yeah."

Ban sighed. "Just imagine what the General would look like in a tight suit, the water glistening on his skin in the sunlight and...."

Emmy looked over at Ban when she stopped mid-sentence. She followed Ban's line of sight as it focused on a hunky Commander who was emerging from the ocean wearing the briefest boxer trunks she'd ever seen along with a Navy S.E.A.L. scuba vest.

"That's....that's....that's...." Ban sputtered.

"General, who?" Darry snorted as Emmy laughed.

~*~

Dande wandered the beach, the tide slowly sliding up the sand to lap at her ankles. Her eyes misted over as the memories came flooding back to her...all the moonlit walks on these very beaches with her Master. She sighed and reminded herself to buy a Discman with the credit card Darry had so generously given her.

"Oh, Master...." Dande placed her hand over her very flat stomach as her hair and flowing summer gown ruffled out behind her. "If only you could be here with me now." Then she yelped as a swiftly flying object lodged itself in the wet sand at her feet.

A football.

She looked up and her radar blipped.

All six feet, two inches of purely male Forty-Niner strolled directly toward her wearing nothing but a red sport shorts. He knelt down in front of her to pick up the football. "I´m so sorry," he said, grasping and clenching the ball in his hands as he stood up.

Dande knew that grasping and clenching could only mean one thing. She gulped. "Quarterback?"

"Yes," he smiled.

Dande promptly thudded.

~*~

Shana hurried over to Brenda who was making sand motorcycles and then crushing them into the ground. "I need your sunglasses," Shana said.

"What?"

Shana grabbed them off Brenda´s face. "These are the anti-swooners, right?"

Brenda shielded her eyes from the bright glare of the sun. "Yeah, but—"

"You won´t need them. Thanks." Shana slid them on her face and ran back to Ardeth the best she could in her black bikini as the see-through wrap tied around her hips fluttered nicely on the breeze. "Alright, show me again."

Ardeth smiled. This beat the hell out of saving O´Connell´s ass from man-eating beetles. He raised the scimitar in front of him and demonstrated the various fighting stances to Shana.

Shana pushed her anti-swooners firmly against her face as his well-defined muscles flexed in the sunlight. Plus, they hid her enthusiastic examination of his blue Speedo´s.

Emmy applauded...for Brenda as she crushed yet another sand motorcycle. "You go, Brenda!" Emmy called. "THAT´S the way to be a Ho!"

~*~

"Yes, Paddington, I think you´re right. Things are definitely going to change when we get back."

Darry walked over to the lounge chair next to Caeryn. "Get that frackin´ bear off the chair."

Caeryn pouted and reached over and pulled Paddington into her lap, adjusting his straw hat to protect his eyes from the sun. "Hey!" she yelled at Julia and Sere, who were having a water fight in the pool that also came with this fabulous resort home...in addition to the private beach and satellite television (much to the delight of the rescuers).

"What?" Julia and Sere asked simultaneously and innocently.

"You´re getting Paddington wet!"

"Isn´t that why he wears a rain coat?" Darry asked sarcastically as she took her daiquiri from the nameless, oiled-up cabana boy.

Caeryn scowled and scrambled off her chair with a huff and marched into the house.

"We gotta chair open out here!" Darry yelled.

~*~

"Are you sure you know what you´re doing?"

"No problem!"

Emmy rolled her eyes at Han as he attempted to ignite the charcoal with his blaster set on stun. Han´s face scrunched up at his third failed attempt.

"You´d think this place would have a gas barbeque," Emmy said.

"Gas barbeques are for wusses," Rick said as he sauntered out with a plate full of the thickest, largest, dead animal flesh patties she´d ever seen.

"That´s right," Han said as a menacing fireball finally billowed into the air, singeing his eyebrows only moderately.

"Now THAT´S a barbeque fire," Harm said as Ban followed him everywhere he walked with her hands wrapped around his biceps.

"Can I grab anyone a beer?" Rick asked, setting the platter of raw monster burgers down on the table and turning toward the ice cooler.

"Ummm...." Emmy said.

Rick rummaged around the cooler. "Microbrew or..."

"No, not that. It´s just that...uh.... I can´t eat those," she said, pointing to the plate. "I don´t suppose you bought any Garden Burgers, did you?"

Emmy stomped away with a huff as all three manly men laughed.

~*~

Steve Young walked up the steps to the large house, carrying an unconscious Dande in his arms. It was the closest house to the spot on the beach where she dropped at his feet. He rang the doorbell and hoped this was the right place. After a few moments, Steve decided to follow the noise coming from the back of the house. As he walked into the crowd, a few of the people looked at him, but no one seemed too concerned that he carried an unconscious woman in his arms.

"Excuse me," Steve said above the noise of the crowd. "Do any of you know this woman?"

"Yeah," came a multitude of voices that then continued their own conversations.

Steve stood there for another moment with a rather perplexed look on his face.

"Don´t worry," Shana finally said to him. "She does that all the time. Just put her down anywhere."

"Is she unwell?" Steve asked, finding an empty lounge chair to set her down in.

"Nah," Emmy said. "Just a Wench."

~*~

Diebin remained curled up on a lounge chair wearing her boxer shorts and a large sweatshirt with the hood pulled over her head. After everything that had occurred over the past few days, it was time to brood.

"C´mon, Die, have a margarita," Judy said, having removed herself from Senor Zorro´s presence just long enough to whip up her specialty.

Die shook her head, recalling the last time she and alcohol got together.

"But you like these," Judy teased, slowly swaying the glass in front of Diebin´s face.

"Oh, alright," Diebin snapped, grabbing the glass from her.

~*~

"Y! M-C-A!" Diebin did a quick jump turn on the table to face the other direction. "Y! M-C-A!"

"Would somebody PLEASE take the CD player off repeat!" Darry yelled over the din of the Village People and Diebin.

Rick strolled up to the table where Diebin was shakin´ her groovethang. "Hey! C´mon down from there," he said with a leer.

"WOOO!" Diebin leapt off the table and into Rick´s arms, her legs wrapping quickly around his waist. "Take me to bed, or lose me forever!"

Emmy shook her head as she stumbled over to the stereo to turn off the music. Then she made her way back to the table and sat down in her chair. Then she stood up again with her margarita in hand. "I´d like to propose a toast."

The Ho´s and the rescuers happily obliged - except Diebin and Rick who had already disappeared - by raising their glasses in the air.

"To the people of Naboo," Emmy said enthusiastically, "for supporting my newfound Chanel habit!" Then she turned her glass to Darry as she giggled. "And to Darry for making this abuse possible."

"To Darry!" everyone cheered.

Darry flipped and sipped her martini. Mulder´s phone rang, and he turned it off and tossed it over his shoulder.

Thanks to Shana and her quick thinking as she packed for this vacation, the sounds of Santana suddenly blared out over the stereo. Judy squealed and pulled Senor Zorro out of his chair. The rest of the table soon cleared as the Ho´s each found a dance partner...even Caeryn, who decided that Paddington could sit this one out. Actually, it was Methos who decided Paddington could sit it out, but by the time Caeryn was out of her seat and pulled firmly against her rescuer, she had suddenly lost her need to converse with the faithful bear.

And Julia took lots and lots and LOTS of photos, all the while calculating the fastest shipping method back to campus, given the fact that emailing was not an option.