Title:HSU: Little Details
Author: Shana Nolan
After: The Longest Day, The Mystery of the Messy Nutella, Introductions
Abound, Mary Kay Ho Diary
Archiving: Darry, incoming!!!
Rating: CID (cold induced delirium)
Disclaimers: come here, Lucas, I'll give you something... its a COLD! with phlegm! and coughing! you know you want it!! Oh, and Schanke is, um, not mine either. Thanks to NyQuil for making their warning label so amusing that I just -had- to use it. Oh, and finally, Denis Leary, I love you, your humour rocks.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

~*~If nervousness, dizziness, or sleeplessness occur, discontinue use and
ask a doctor~*~

"Yes, Mr. Schanke, I realise it's highly unusual to have all the paperwork filled out for such a thing as a murder, but it is my job, and frankly I'm quite good at it... what do you mean the police force needs more people like me?... I'm quite happy where I am... I know we have an odd set of employees here... resident aliens... what kind of university do you think this is?!... oh, you're right... tiara... orange frilly coat... no.. no... I don't think they're that strange... can you hang on a second?... "

Setting the phone down, Shana proceeded to hack her lungs out.

"Oh, I'm fine, just a cold... yeah, I know who I got it from... I'll remember that... garlic... well, it doesn't go well with... okay... yes... good evening to you too, detective."

Setting the phone back in its cradle, grabbing a kleenex and proceeding to clear her sinuses along with half her brain cavity, the Dean of Student Affairs sighed. She hated being sick and knew exactly who was to blame.

Damn the sexy General for passing Dieben's cold along and not having the decency of sharing his Jedi immunities.

Glancing at the stack of forms and coming across the admission packet for one Ugarte Henfield, the auburn Ho grinned and casually tossed them into the shredder bin. One less odd woman to contend with.

Until she started coughing again and missed her apparent visitor.

"Sind sie krank?"

Raising her eyes with a groan, vowing vengeance of the licking kind on the General, Shana hissed. "What?!"

"Are yu zick?"

The initial comment, unusually harsh and generally flying over the head of the strange... creature standing in front of her, went unsaid due to varying IQ levels. "Obviously. How can I help you?"

"I vant to zee if ze polize haf any newzz."

Wiping the spittle from her forehead and cheek with a tissue, Shana considered her words. 1) tell the bird before her to piss off and let her be. 2) tell her the truth and watch her... do something other than stare with vapid eyes or 3) collect the flying spit and market it to the salivary gland challenged. "I just spoke to them, they don't really know anything new, except for an 'excessive hair' comment, and will update soon."

"I vant justizze!"

"And I need another dose of meds," Standing up and flashing a predatory smile, but losing it as soon as she gave into a sneeze, the Paperwork Queen pointed out the door. "Now, if you don't mind, go elsewhere and torture small creatures. I have other duties to attend to."

Elsmillia huffed and stormed out the door, beginning to hum "The Hills Are Alive..." as she walked down the hall.

Banging her head on the desk, noting that congestion made a lovely squishing sound as it bounced against the walls of her sinus cavity, Shana stared blankly at the clock and noted that she had three hours 'til her appointment with the General.

Getting up from her chair and leaning down to pull the secret door, she climbed down the steps into the basement flat, noting the pleasant smell of tea brewing, she paused to snatch the little alarm, set the time and fall into the comfortable couch.

"Cold medicine? Blanket? Caffeine? Denis Leary CD?"

Looking up to see David looming over her, she pointed at the VCR and then the stove. "Milky tea and Velvet Goldmine, please."

There was a tsking sound. "Are you sure you're up to your afternoon appointment?"

A greater threat would have to involve Danny Boyle intentionally hiring Leonardo Di Crappio. "For that I should change the locks and cut off your privileges."

His not quite blue eyes widened. "You wouldn't dare!"

"Yes, I would," croaked the cranky Ho from the couch, snatching the proffered cup from her secretary's hand.

"One Curt Wild coming up."

"And one more thing."

"Only one?" was the snide response.

"Oooh, 'tude from the help. How's the accent going?"

"Not all that bad, I'd reckon."

Nearly sent over the back of the couch, her instincts telling her to hide from the evil sound that used to be a voice she liked, Shana peered over the edge and growled suspiciously. "I said an accent, not 'Deliverance' incarnate."

"Oh. Slow going, then."

Her sigh was interrupted by a coughing fit.

~*~May cause marked drowsiness~*~

"Did you see that?"

"See what?"

"That thing... it just crossed the hallway... there it is again!"

Standing in an obscured doorway of one of the dorms, all of them keeping out of the dim lights of the hall as to keep themselves out of view, BJ, Deb, Kymira and JenJen stared at the thing that had interrupted their attempt to sneak out and hit the on-campus club.

"Is it human?"

"It has two legs."

"It's too big, maybe it's a Wookie."

"A Wookie?! Here?!"

"Okay, maybe not."

"Is that metal clacking?"

"Maybe it's armed."

"Maybe it's got armour."

"Maybe it has metal skin."

There was a pause when all eyes turned on Kymira, who grinned. "So I've read too many sci-fi books."

"We -have- got to get to the club before the main show starts," BJ groused.

"Someone should go and scare it off."

"Send the freshmen."

"Hey!"

Deb raised an eyebrow. "What? As a senior, I certainly won't give up my General labs."

The three other heads nodded sagely.

"But—"

"C'mon, JenJen," BJ said, her tone evil, "do it for the General."

There was a pause before the frosh pair sighed, looked at each other and then stepped into the hall.

"If I die you get my stereo."

"Um, thanks."

Making it halfway down the hall, both grrls slammed their backs against the wall when the form moved again, this time standing in front of a closed door and testing the knob.

"You get him."

"No, you."

"You."

"You."

The figure looked up suddenly, his attention drawn by the arguing.

"Ah, shit."

Taking a single step towards the pair, coming partially out of the shadows, the undefined bad guy smiled underneath his helmet and lowered his hand near his hip.

Kymira tugged on her friend's sleeve. "Let's leave now."

JenJen shook her head, staring intently. "Um, that can't be who I think it is..."

"Come on, the acts won't wait for us."

"But I want to know for sure."

"Club. Acts. Stripping Acts."

"Oh! In that case..." Waving briefly and then following the rest of them the other way down the hall, JenJen shook her head. "But it looks like he's wearing Mandorellian armour."

~*~NyQuil, NyQuil, NyQuil, we love you, you giant fucking Q!~*~

Cal, Padawannabe extraordinaire, crossing the grounds with the frilly orange frocked Vocab Man, running his fingers through the end of his fake braid, looked around. The head maintenance guy was being awfully quiet recently since Aya had come to the campus, and seemed to look over his shoulder a lot. He wasn't sure exactly why the Sith chick had gotten him so worked up, but considering the hedge clipper wound was still healing up, he appreciated Vocab Man's reluctance to show his face around the staff.

"So what are we doing today? Trimming up the maze? Polishing the General's bike? Waxing the floors?"

"Grrr."

"Oh, dormitories again, okay." Trying to hide his displeasure, Cal shuffled behind, rounding a corner. Well, he'd just have to find another way to live up to the General.

"Grr—eeep!"

Suddenly finding himself running away with the fleeing tattoo boy, also avoiding the strange Sith girl, Cal noticed that at a good clip, his fake braid fluttered nicely in the breeze.

~*~May cause excitability especially in children~*~

Emmy had had enough. She had thought that the Mary Kay products would distract her long enough, but the hormones were getting intolerable. After three hours of primal scream therapy, at the recommendation of a somewhat perturbed yet still impeccably dressed Nurse Darry, the Diva was getting bored.

And Dieben was still ousted from her office, so she couldn't pull too many strings, not that she was already.

So, straightening her tiara and promising the dust bunnies under the dining hall table that she'd return as soon as she could, Emmy stood up, smoothed out her dress and stalked her Diva self in the direction of the General.

If only she had noticed that she was walking into the blurred forms of Vocab Man and Cal...

"Ooof!"

"Grr!"

"Aaack!!"

Skidding to a stop, Aya caught herself just before tripping over the tangled form, her ankle nearly crashing into the pointy tiara. "Emmy!"

"Yeees?"

There was a pause. "I was chasing after Vocab Man and I didn't see you...um... I'll be going now... nice to see you... hey!!! Get back here you red and black chicken!!"

Watching the newest staff member tear off and grousing about how she got in and yet here she was, Prez of the ROCC, smut queen and a DIVA! and she got shafted, and not in the General sense... it just wasn't fair...

Pulling herself off the ground again, Emmy shook her head and turned around, choosing instead to head for the gate tower deck for some more screaming therapy.

But first she had to go get the bullhorn.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*