"Squeeze me in," Emmy mumbled under her breath as she stomped down the hall....as much as she could possibly stomp in that form-fitting velvet skirt. It was more like a Morticia Addams shuffle with definite attitude. She stopped next to Jael to examine the bulletin board. "He'll be squeezing something alright, but it won't be me," she mumbled again.

Jael looked up at Emmy, her expression confirming that Emmy's statement really did make no sense, but it sure sounded convincing. "Thanks for picking up the rugby uniforms," Jael said tentatively.

"Sure, no problem," Emmy said, examining the bulletin board with a fine tooth comb for all those messages from would-be suitors that must be tacked up there someplace so that the General would suffer insomnia and fits of jealousy and panic at the prospect of losing her affections.

"Looking for something in particular?" Jael asked.

"Who has been taking phone messages?"

"Um. Whoever answers the phone, I guess."

Emmy harumphed and kicked her foot out as Space Dog sniffed her ankle. "I thought we made a deal, dog."

Space Dog skittered away.

"What deal?" Jael asked.

"Oh, nothing."

Space Dog scampered back toward them and began barking hysterically. A moment later there was a knock at the door.

"Hmmm," Jael said, "we don't usually get people knocking on our door."

"Except for wenches and Girl Scouts." Emmy started marching toward the door. "If it's another wench I'm throwing myself off the roof for real."

"And if it's a Girl Scout?"

Emmy turned her head toward Jael as she continued toward the door. "If she's outta Samosas, I'll let Space Dog eat her. Or maybe I'll steal her Samosas and still let Space Dog eat her."

Jael cringed. She wasn't sure who to hope for.

Emmy opened the door, ready to shush away whatever wench, cookie peddler, or magazine pusher awaited her. But instead she found....well, she wasn't quite sure what she found. "Uh...." And she wasn't quite sure what to say either. "Hello?"

"Hello."

"What might you want?" Emmy asked, somewhat irritated. The woman standing before her looked like Little Red Riding Hood meets Marlene Dietrich. She wore a long, blood red cape, a hood covering her head, which was also topped with a black, wide-brimmed hat. She wore rounded, dark sunglasses ­ not nearly as sexy as Diebin's or the swoon protectors ­ and kept her mouth at a slight pout.

"I am hear to speak to someone about admissions," the woman said in a deep voice and a bad excuse for a mysterious accent.

One thing was clear to Emmy. There was only room at HSU for one drama queen, and that position was already filled. She primped at her tiara just to make a point. "I think we're full."

"You think—"

"In fact, I'm certain of it."

"Are you the dean?" the annoying woman asked.

"No."

"I would like to speak to the dean."

"Uh...nah, I don't think so."

"I have an appointment."

Emmy sighed. "Fine. I'll call her down. What's your name?"

"My name is...."

::sudden dramatic music::

"...Ugarte Henfield."

::more dramatic music::

Emmy's eyes shifted back and forth. Then she leaned her head out the door a bit.

::silence::

"Hold on," Emmy said, slamming the door in Ugarte's face. "If anybody gets music, it should be me," she said, walking over to the phone and dialing Shana's number. She heard the receiver pick up and the tell-tale sounds of Santana.

"I said SHHHHHHH."

"Shana!! Hellloooo!!"

"Oh, sorry, Em. Hold a second."

Emmy heard the rustle of the phone setting down in a sea of paperwork, followed by muffled thumping noises.

"Ah, okay. Sorry, here I am."

"Shana, what the hell are you doing in there?"

"Working."

Emmy rolled her eyes. "Yeah, okay. Listen, there's some weird German lady wanting to see you."

"German lady?"

"Or French. I dunno. Something about admissions."

Shana sighed.

"Oh, don't give me that," Emmy said. "I know for a fact you've have at least four appointments so far this week."

"Cancellation list is a bitch, isn't it?" Shana said.

"Oh, shut up. Just get down here." Emmy slammed the phone down. She looked down and saw Space Dog staring up at her, the super canine's tail thumping loudly on the floor. "What?"

Space Dog whined.

"What??"

Space Dog barked and looked toward the door.

"Yeah, I think she's weird, too," Emmy said. "Would you like to eat her?"

Space Dog barked twice.

"Okay," Emmy said walking back to the door with Space Dog at her heels.

"Emmy!" Shana called out, having overheard the conversation with Space Dog.

"What?"

"Could you just be a little nice?" Shana asked, politely shoving Emmy out of the way.

"Fine," Emmy said with a sigh. "Whatevah."

Shana opened the door and then put on her marketing smile. "Hello."

"Hello."

Emmy peeked around Shana and pointed, "That's uh...Ug..something...."

"I am Ugarte Henfield."

Emmy looked around for music but heard none.

"And this...." Ugarte said, reaching her arm to the side.

::sudden dramatic music::

"Damn," Emmy whispered.

"....is my sister, Elsmillia."

Emmy and Shana looked at the seemingly young woman with long blonde hair looking like a cheap Halloween wig, her low-cut dress looking like...like a low-cut dress.

"Smelly what?" Emmy said, receiving a glare from Shana.

"Elsmillia," the girl finally spoke. And then her face broke into a huge grin. "But my friends call me Elsie!" Her voice was just a little too perky. "Or Millie! Or Lia! I'm from Alderaan. But I've also lived on Naboo, Coruscant, Corellia, and Peoria. I'm a writer and a singer and a musician and a tap dancer and a computer programmer and a space pilot and an Eopie trainer and—"

"Bye, Shana. Have fun," Emmy said, turning around quickly and sauntering away from the door, back down the hall.

Shana held her impressive smile. "So, which one of you will be applying for admission?"

Ugarte and Elsmillia started elbowing each other as each of them tried to step forward.

"Um...." Shana looked at the two with one eyebrow raised.

The two strange women were now shouldering each other, trying to gain ground on the doorstep.

"Okay, come back when you decide," Shana said, pushing the door shut and shaking her head as she headed back to her office.

~*~

"Okay, maybe this wasn't such a good idea," Banaoire said.

"I've never quite seen her do that before," Caeryn said.

"I'm scared," Diebin said.

"Ooohh, General sex on the back lawn," Darry asked, rushing over to where the other women stood looking out the window.

"Shhhhh. He's in his office." Diebin pointed to the closed door, still kneeling on her chair that was backed up to the window.

"So, what's so interesting?" Darry shoved herself in between Banaoire and Diebin's chair....and then laughed. "Holy shit, I didn't know Emmy played rugby."

"Does she look like she's playing rugby?" Caeryn asked.

Darry looked again. Emmy was wearing a rugby uniform. And she was running with team, apparently under Jael's coaching eye. But she seemed less focused on the ball than on tripping and body slamming her fellow teammates. "Wow," Darry said. She watched a few minutes longer as Jael blew her whistle and Emmy continued to wallop whoever stood closest to her.

"Maybe I should just give her one of her appointments back," Banaoire said nervously.

"Nah," Darry said, "I haven't been this entertained in a long time. What day is this, anyway?"

"It's only Day Three," Caeryn said.

Darry snorted and flipped her hair as she strutted out of the room in her Chanel suit. "Better sleep with one eye open, Ban."

~*~

"I don't see what good this is gonna do," Emmy grumbled as she slumped in the front seat of the HSU 4-Runner.

"Girls' night out," Darry said, turning the key in the ignition. "Believe me, you need to get drunk."

"And laid," Diebin said from the cargo space next to the back window.

Emmy glared back at her, contemplating whether or not she could actually climb over the other people behind her to strangle the mouthy Ho. "And why the hell is she coming along?" Emmy barked as her eyes fell on a wistful waif whose delicate hand was draped over her chest.

"Since that roof incident, she's under watch," Darry said. "And the General doesn't have time to look after her since he's all booked up this evening."

Emmy pursed her lips and scowled at Darry. Ban had better hope that Emmy got good and drunk while they were out.

~*~

As the Ho's assembled in the parking lot, waiting for the rest of their caravan to show, Diebin kept a nervous watch over her shoulder, always making sure to stay several arm lengths away from Emmy.

Dande slid gracefully out of the SUV and turned to face the building, looking up at the neon sign and gasping as she brought her petite hands to her face. "Wangers!" she exclaimed.

Darry puffed and flipped. "Yeah, what of it? Food's good."

"Food's terrible," Caeryn said.

"Well, yeah." Darry puffed and flipped again.

"Oh," Dande said. "My Master had a very large one."

All heads turned to Dande, who wore an odd, wide-eyed expression.

"I need a drink," Emmy groused, marching toward the front door.

~*~

"Ooh, my Master's was bigger than that," Dande said innocently enough as a waiter sauntered by and Emmy gave her the look of death.

Darry just laughed and took a sip of her Stoli martini with two olives.

"Hey guys!"

"Tasha!" Diebin called out, waving at her.

"Who the hell is—" Emmy began to ask as she saw Tasha's companion dressed in a frilly, hooded orange cape. "No. No, no, no. Tell me it's not—"

Tasha's friend removed the cape to reveal....

"What the fuck is he doing here?" Emmy growled.

"Grrrr."

"No," Tasha whispered, shoving the hood back over his head, "we can't let Dande see."

~*~

"Oooh," Dande said as they watched the stage show while still attempting to eat. "That one is very nice."

"Dead," Emmy said to Darry. "She's dead."

"Calm down," Darry said.

"You brought me here to torture me, didn't you?"

Darry ordered Emmy another drink.

~*~

"Ooooh...."

"Put a sock in it, sister," Emmy snapped as she gulped down the last of her second cosmopolitan. "Or I'll make you eat this glass."

"I doubt it's a sock she'll puttin' in it," Tasha snorted.

"Grrrrr," interjected the orange frilly hood.

"Oh hush," she chided the stellar maintenance man as his eyes were going beady from the tequila shots Darry told him he was too soft to handle.

~*~

"WOOOOO!!" Diebin howled at the glistening leather-clad dancer on stage as she heard the familiar refrains of Nine Inch Nails. "Look!" she cackled waving her glass of screaming orgasm in the air. "Black leather Obi!"

"Um," Caeryn said, leaning forward to whisper to Darry, "that guy's not even human."

"Shhh, don't spoil her fun."

~*~

"Oooohhh...."

"I just don't understand it, you know?" Emmy gulped down something...a margarita or some such thing...whatever. She continued to whine to Dande. "I mean, I've been extremely loyal to him, always there, you know." She swayed slightly in her chair as she tried to explain. "If he said, 'Take your clothes off,' hey, I'd take my clothes off, you see what I'm saying?"

Dande fluttered her eyelashes at Emmy.

"And now...." Emmy flung her arms out to the sides, barely missing the waiter's wanger with the back of her hand. "Now he says maybe he can squeeeeze me in. Me! Squeeze ME in! After all the time I've spent on him, he's gonna squeeze me in." Emmy brought her hands together until they were almost touching. "Squeeze me in this little spot....like I'm this little, tiny thing to him now."

"I'm beginning to think this wasn't such a good idea," Caeryn said.

"Ah," Darry said, waving her hand, "she'll be too hungover to remember any of this anyway." Then she puffed and flipped as a rather magnificent hard body swaggered around the table.

"This little, itty bitty piece of nothing," Emmy continued pathetically in her drunken state. "Even after that whole 'little one' thing—HEY!" Emmy rubbed her leg where Darry kicked it.

"Oh," Dande sighed. "My love always called me that....little one."

"Grrrr"

~*~

"I wanna feel you from the IN-side," Diebin sang really poorly as she tried to dance while she staggered to the car. "I wanna fu—"

Caeryn slapped her hand over Diebin's mouth. "Enough." It really sucked being the designated driver sometimes. Oh well, nobody had thrown up....yet.

Diebin giggled, "Okay, I'll be reeeeeal quiet." She continued to hum the song as she stumbled along on her spike heels, while swinging her hips at the appropriate moments.

"And then," Emmy whined as she and Dande walked arm in arm across the parking lot, "I let him tie me up to the tree while he...."

"Did we really want to hear all this?" Tasha asked. "I mean it's a little personal."

"And another time, he took me for a ride on his motorcycle....this was the next day, mind you...."

"The next day?" Caeryn said with surprise. "How could she even walk after—"

"Shut up," Darry said. "I can't hear when you talk."

~*~

The ride back to the University was quiet....sort of....

"....he likes it when you do it hard like that," Emmy said to Dande as they sat side by side in the seat behind Caeryn.

"I'm feeling like I really didn't need to know that," Caeryn said to Darry, who sat beside her in the passenger seat.

"You didn't know that already?" Darry said.

"Well...."

"And now," Emmy exclaimed, "it's like I'm not even alive. Like I could just disappear, and he'd never, ever notice."

"Oh geez," Darry groaned. "Drive faster."

"Am doing," Caeryn said.

"Oh, you poor, poor dear," Dande said, putting her arm around Emmy's shoulders.

"He's got ALL these girls now, so he doesn't need ME anymore! Just tossing me aside!"

"Oh," Dande sighed, unhooking the tiara as it hung from Emmy's ear and placing it back on top of her head, "I'm sure that's not the case. Take me, for instance...."

"Drive. Faster."

"Am. Doing."

"....despite the other wenches in my Master's life, I was his one, true wench. The one he was beholden to, the one he loved above all others. I was more important to him than anyone....and so he blessed me with..." Dande's voice tightened up from the sheer sorrow of it all, "his child." She dabbed her eyes with a tissue and continued. "I am certain that Obi-Wan feels the same way about you, that no woman, no amount of time or distance could ever take away the infinite love and desire he has for you."

"You think?"

"Floor it," Darry growled.

"You got it."

~*~

"Go. To. Bed." Darry gave Emmy a menacing glare as she stood in the doorway to Emmy's room.

"But I wanna talk to DANDE," Emmy whined. "She's the ONLY one who understands my PAIN!"

Darry sighed. "Will you shut up if I let you go see her?"

"Yeah."

"And you promise not to throw up anywhere but in a toilet?"

Emmy flapped her hand at Darry. "I'm not gonna throw up. I'm fine. Perfectly fine," Emmy insisted as she stumbled past Darry and down the hall.

"You're gonna get in a lot of trouble for that," Caeryn said as she watched Emmy trip over her feet.

"Ah hell," Darry huffed, "if he would have just dropped his pants for a few minutes, we wouldn't be dealing with this. In fact," she said, her face brightening up, "I'm going to go talk to him right now and just tell him to fuck her and get this over with." She turned and started walking toward his room.

"Darry, Darry," Caeryn whispered, hurrying after the inebriated nurse. "It's late. Just go to bed. Please."

Darry turned back around and walked the other way toward her own room. "Yeah, okay, fine, whatever."

Caeryn stood in the hall for a moment, making sure that Darry really was going into her room. Caeryn shook her head as she could hear Diebin still trying to sing that song beyond her bedroom door. Well, she would just remind Diebin in the morning about how she had propped a Gungan.

~*~

"Do you think he really cares at all?" Emmy sniveled.

"Of course he does," Dande said. "Love....it...." Dande's eyes drifted toward the window. "It goes on....and on...."

Emmy nodded and sniffled.

Dande gave a wistful sigh and turned back to Emmy. "But you are so lucky. He is still here with you." She grabbed Emmy's hands. "There is still time for you...don't let it go...don't let anything ever come between you again," she exclaimed with great dramatic flourish.

Emmy squeezed Dande's hands. "I won't."

"You must swear it."

"Huh?"

"You must swear by all that is holy and true that you will never let your love out of your life. You must pledge your undying devotion so that he knows your heart beats only for him."

Emmy scrunched her face at Dande. "But....how do I do that?"

"Do you trust me?" Dande asked.

"Of course," Emmy nodded.

"Will you let me help you?"

"Please."

"He is like his Master, you know," Dande said. "He possesses his strength and his courage. I held the key to Qui-Gon's heart, and...." Dande's hand covered her abdomen. "It may have only been a brief moment in time compared to the eternity of humanity....but for us it was a lifetime. A lifetime of love....that now brings new life to the world."

"I'm confused," Emmy whispered.

"I can show you the key to Obi-Wan's heart as well."

"You can?" Emmy's eyes grew wide.

"I can teach you to be a wench."

Emmy gasped in shock. But somehow it all made sense as her brain drowned in alcohol. The night of the party when the General completely ignored her in favor of this disinterested wench proved it. "But....a wench?"

"Have you tried it?" Dande asked, placing her fingers on Emmy's cheek.

"No, I would never think to—"

"Then that is the part that is missing."

An intoxicated thrill ran through Emmy's veins as they began to pickle. "Can you really help me, Dande?"

Suddenly, Dande's misty eyes cleared, her true purpose here finally revealed to her. "Oh yes, I certainly can."

~*~

"Now," Dande said, "the first thing you'll need is this."

Emmy watched Dande rustle through her armoire. She pulled out a large silver roll, and Emmy was suddenly startled at the ripping noise. "Duct tape?"

Dande grinned and nodded. "How else do you think you get a heaving bosom, hmmm?"

Emmy cringed and crossed her arms over her chest.

~*~

"errrrrrrgghhhh...."

"Just a....little....more....."

"I.....can't....." Emmy clung to the bedpost for dear life, Dande's foot in the middle of her back as she used the weight of her body to pull the corset strings tighter.

"Suck in...just...." Dande demonstrated the concept of sucking in.

"I am!" Emmy squealed as the corset tightened once more and pinched her skin.

"There!" Dande said triumphantly, tying it quickly before it could slip loose.

Emmy stood with her arms held out at her sides, her fingers throbbing from her guts being pushed into her hands.

Dande giggled. "You look like your wearing a body cast. Put your arms down."

"I think I broke a rib."

Dande waved her hand. "They heal." Then she walked to the closet. "Now, given my condition, I'm afraid my dresses may be a little big for you, but.... How about this one?" Dande pulled out a lovely long and flowing emerald gown.

Of course, Emmy saw two gowns....and two Dande's. "How about....that one," she said, pointing to the gown and the Dande on the right.

Dande accounted the strange behavior to some kind of Ho mutation. She held the dress as Emmy raised her numb arms, and it slipped over her head and down her body. Dande fastened up the back and then led Emmy to the mirror. "Have a look."

Emmy squeezed her eyes shut, trying to clear them. And then she saw herself. The dark green was a good color for her, offsetting her fair skin and dark hair. And then she saw....cleavage. "Oh my God...."

"You see? You always had a wench inside you," Dande said proudly.

"I can't believe this," Emmy giggled, the feeling of her skin tearing off as the duct tape puckered under the corset seemed, at the moment, a fair trade for a bosom such as this. She jumped up and down, just to test its strength. "Wow!"

Dande laughed in this brief ­ but obviously fleeting ­ moment of glory. She would savor it while she could. But, alas, like everything else, it could not possibly last forever. She gave Emmy a melancholy smile to cover the depth of her impending despair. "Now, for your hair."

~*~

"Um....Dande...."

"Yes?"

"That's the third comb you've broken."

"Oh, Emmy, I have plenty of them. Every good wench does."

"Yes...but...my hair is rather curly, so I tend not to tease it at all."

Dande smiled. "Trust me. I am a wench. I know about hair."

~*~

"Oh, Dande.... I don't know how I can ever thank you."

Dande beamed. "The look on his face when he sees you will be thanks enough."

Emmy looked at her reflection. Damn, she was proud of that bosom. But her hair....it was....like a goddess, full and flowing and solid as concrete...and it made her about a foot taller, too Her makeup was perfectly painted, highlighting her best features and hiding all her flaws, minimal as they were.

"And now," Dande said excitedly, "you can truly display this well." She placed the tiara on Emmy's impenetrable hair.

"Don't you think it's a little high?"

"No, no," Dande said. "The two most important things a wench needs are durable hair and an unyielding bosom."

"Right," Emmy said, still trying to get a clear focus on herself.

Dande sighed and placed her hand over her heart. "Oh, Obi-Wan will be beside himself when he sees you."

Emmy placed her hands on her hips and snorted. "Forget Obi-Wan."

"What?"

"Honey, it's time for that boy to learn how bad he's been treating me. If he wants a piece of this, he's gonna have to come crawling on his hands and knees."

"Oh, Emmy...no, that not how this works...."

"Damn straight, that's how this works. If he thinks he can blow me off for THREE whole days, he's got another thing coming." Emmy cocked her head to the side. "See here, General, I'm all that, yes I am."

"But...."

"Now, it's time for me to test drive myself. I think this calls for a little excursion to Wanker College, don't you?" Emmy began to laugh.

"No...no.... Emmy, you don't understand...."

"No, Dande, he's the one who doesn't understand. If he wants this, he's gonna have to BEG for it. Are you coming?"

Dande's face had disaster written all over it. "I—"

"No, you shouldn't, with the baby and all."

Dande simply whimpered a little.

Emmy hugged Dande tight. "Thank you SO MUCH for everything."

"Emmy, please reconsider." But Dande had missed the most important factor of all. Once a Wench, always a Wench. Once a Ho, always a Ho. Emmy was not only a Ho, but a Supah Diva as well. And now she was a Supah Diva Ho with a heaving bosom AND a serious ax to grind. Dande squeaked as she watched Emmy happily trounce ­ and stumble ­ out of her room and down the stairs. She considered following her....or going to Obi-Wan himself to stop this madness. But this...on top of everything else...it was too much to bear. Dande slumped back on the settee and fanned herself, placing her hand to her heated forehead. "Oh, what have I done?"

~*~

The General stared at Diebin with a look ­ unfortunately, not The Look. "She what?"

"She....uh....hee...." Diebin sighed and tried to ignore her head splitting open. "She.... Well, Darry said she wanted to hang with Dande last night. And then sometime after that, it seems she....uh....found a party at Wanker College....and then she....well....convinced some freshman boys to streak through the faculty quarters while she took pictures....and then she decided to actually take pictures of the faculty members themselves by barging into their rooms at about four o'clock this morning." Diebin cleared her throat. "And then—"

"You mean to tell me there's more?" he growled....and not in a good way.

"Well, she...um....the dean showed up with campus security....and she took a few pictures of them....and then threw up on them...a....a couple times. And then once again in the dean's office, I guess. They...uh....they locked her in the bathroom after that, so the hurl count could have gone up by now." Diebin smiled nervously. "But hey, at least she didn't recount all your sexual exploits to them like she did to us in the car last night."

"She what?" he growled again.

"Oh. I thought you knew about that."

He sighed. "Is there anything else you need to tell me?"

"Well, Dande said she dressed her like....well, like a wench."

The General rubbed his eyes. He looked up as the door crashed open.

Diebin winced in pain.

"Alright," Darry said, marching in wearing her stunning new Vera Wang number. "I was gonna say this last night, but I'm gonna say it now."

"I don't want to hear it," he said, standing from his chair.

"Wait one minute," Darry said.

"I said, I don't want to hear it," he barked, glaring at her. "I'm going to pick her up."

Diebin turned toward him. "Caeryn said that she could—"

"I'll do it," he seethed and walked out of the office.

"Whoa," Darry said. "I don't wanna be her."

~*~

The ground and the sky were both moving out of sync as Emmy did all she could to follow the General to the car. He hadn't said one word to her the entire time, and she really didn't hear anything he had said to the WC dean. And she really was certain that corset had broken a rib as more than her bosom had been heaving all morning.

The ride back to HSU was silent as well. She knew more was yet to come, but at least he would be kind enough ­ she hoped ­ to let her recover first. And despite all the humiliating things she had done the night before and as sick as she was now, the very worst part of this ordeal was seeing herself wenchified with sober eyes.

As they pulled up the drive, students were everywhere and more started to gather when they realized the General was at the wheel. Emmy tried to think of every possible way she could get out of that car without everyone seeing her dressed as a wench. The only way out she could come up with was that the car would have to explode right....about....now.

Emmy sighed when that didn't happen.

"You stopped here on purpose, didn't you?" she whispered.

He looked at her. "This is the front door."

~*~

"Holy shit," Darry said, shock filling her voice.

"Oh my God," Diebin exclaimed.

"How....how....." Caeryn stared wide-eyed out the window.

"Somebody take a picture since Shana isn't here," Darry said.

"Got 'em," Jael said waving the digital camera around.

"Wow, he's pissed," Ban said.

"Most definitely," Diebin said.

"Okay, shh," Caeryn said. "Everybody look busy."

All the Ho's scattered in the lounge as the General and Emmy approached the front door, all of them burying their faces in magazines as the two entered.

"I'll be in my office if anyone needs me," the General said and then quickly walked away.

Emmy stood looking down at the floor for a few moments.

"Are you okay?" Caeryn asked.

"Just shoot me," Emmy replied.

"I'm sorry," Darry chuckled, "I just gotta know how you got cleavage like that."

"Oh, please, somebody untie me," Emmy groaned, reaching back to unfasten the dress.

"Geez," Diebin said, "you've been in sausage casing all night?"

"Unfortunately," Emmy mumbled. She exhaled with sweet relief as the laces loosened a bit. "Thanks. Now I'm going to hide in my bed."

Darry studied Emmy for a moment. "But the cleavage...it's still...how...it's just not possible...."

"Duct tape."

"What?!" all the women exclaimed at once.

"Please," Emmy whined, grabbing her head. "It's duct tape, and how I'm going to get it off I've no idea, but I've just made a complete ass of myself, the boys at Wanker all have my phone number, now he'll really never give me an appointment, and worst of all....I became a wench!"

"No way, baby," Diebin said. "They can dress you like a wench, but they can't ever take the Ho out of you."

"That's right," Ban said. "You're a Ho to the core."

"Damn straight," Caeryn said.

"And we'll expel anyone who says otherwise," Jael said.

Space Dog barked.

Emmy winced.

"C'mon," Darry said. "I must have some kind of solvent in the clinic for that. If I don't, Dande must."

Diebin snorted. "She probably keeps them taped all the time."

"Well," Emmy said, trying to keep the walls from swaying, "she's as stalwart a wench as I am a Ho. We're kind of a yin and yang, I guess."

"A Ho and a Wench bring balance to the galaxy," Ban said.

"As it should be, right girls?" Diebin asked.

"Right," they all said in agreement.

Space Dog barked.

Emmy winced.

And somewhere, Dande sighed wistfully.