HSU: Car Wars
Author: Aya
Archive: Sure
Rating: um... dunno, funny I hope
Comes after
~~~~~~~~~~~
Aya drove the car home, knowing Bob was in for it. But $578.66 was highway robbery and when he'd mentioned they boys' undying devotion to the hos, it seemed like the best choice for the time being. Bob called ahead and told them to expect her. She offered her own people at her own 'as-yet-unnamed-but-very-multitask-oriented' college. Palpatine declined, saying they owed him a favor.

Pulling into the garage, she tossed the keys to the nearest Wanker College grease monkey. "I'll be back in 4 hours," she said, practicing the patented SC mind whammy maneuver. "Have it done by then."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aya strolled down the hall, munching her dipped cone from Dairy Queen, BMW keys jingling in hand. She waved at Emmy, knowing the dive probably wouldn't see her anyway with the General prowling after her. Stepping into the clinic, she dropped the keys on the vacant desk with a box from Victoria's Secret from Senator Palpatine and gift bag containing a shrubbery. "Yo Darry?" No answer. Shrugging, she left the clinic and headed out to the rugby fields. There would be hell to pay but thank God it wasn't her fault. Bob could figure this one out himself.

Darry entered her offices and spotted the keys first. Opening the box, she stared at the burgundy silk peignoir and shook her head. "There is no way he picked this out himself," she grumbled. "Still," she sighed, taking it out of the box and holding it up to herself, "At least I know she's got taste." Draping it back in the box, she looked at the small tree on her desk. She reached in and pulled it out of its bag then stopped short. Then she screamed.

Diebin was the first one there and stopped, slack-jawed.

"Isn't that..."

"Uh huh." Darry dropped the bounty hunter helmet/potted plant on her desk.

"Shit, she knows."

"Well geez, Die, she's a sammie, she's not stupid."

"So now what? So we call them off?"

"Can't. Union rules. Either they dust the mark or our money back."

"Well then dammit, get our money back! When did this get here?"

"Dunno, it was on the desk with the keys to MY CAR!!!"

Darry near trampled the poor secretary in her parking lot sprint. Diebin followed close behind. Getting to the parking lot, Darry's high-pitched scream flattened the nearby hos-in-training by its sheer volume and brought the rest of the faculty, including the president, running.

"Gods, Darry, are you alright?"

"My car!"

Caeryn put an arm around my nurse. "What happened?"

"My car!"

They looked across the parking lot to where her blue BMW should have been.

And was mostly.

"Bob said he'd explain later, Darry." Aya finished off the remains of her cone as she joined the group.

"My car."

"What the hell happened to it?" Tasha screamed.

"Hey, don't blame me. I wasn't driving. He was."

"Who was?" asked the General, tossing The Look at Aya.

"Bob."

He turned to Diebin, still giving The Look. "Who's Bob?" He then turned to Emmy, who was standing behind the now swooned Diebin. "Who's Bob?"

"Um."

"Bob is part of the faculty of her 'as-yet-unnamed-but-rather-influential' university. He was here um bringing her some presidential type stuff." Caeryn rambled aimlessly

"Secret presidential type stuff."

"Boring, presidential type stuff."

"Like what?" the General asked.

"Ice Cream," Aya answered, licking the chocolate off her fingertips with a knowing smile. The General blinked. "And he dropped off Darry's car."

"My Car!!!"

They turned to the car, eyes wide with horror.

"The guys at WC said the paint is still a bit tacky, but Bob said he'd get it repainted in a week or so." Aya shrugged. "They also ran out of midnight blue so they decided to match the interior instead."

The glossy peachy beige BMW sat in its "Reserved For Darry-Park Here and Die" spot, gleaming in the sun like a big toe. With a perfect blue racing stripe spanning the hood from wheel-well to wheel-well. A matching stripe almost covered the trunk, but fizzled to the width of a ballpoint pen line that dribbled down the side.

"At least they got the dent out."

Darry began to scream again.

"You," she turned around and screamed again. "CAL!!!!!"

"Yes Miss Darry," he gushed, poofing out his chest and trying to suck in his stomach. "What can I do for you?"

She dropped the keys on the ground. "Take my car to the nearest Earl Schieb and get it painted. Aya will tell you where to forward the bill."

"Yes Miss Darry, at once." He hopped into the driver's seat, revved the engine and ground the gears finding first. Darry cringed again.

"Why don't I take it Darry," Aya offered. "The students at our Sex and Bondo car club can have that done in a day."

Darry turned on Aya with a half-crazed look. "Why don't you do that."

Aya smiled, tossed Cal out of the driver's seat and drove off, pausing briefly to wink at the General. "Tommorow 4:30 good for you, Sir?"

The General nodded. "I'll make it good."

"I'm sure you will." Aya smiled and drove off, leaving Darry, once again, carless.

"I need a drink," Darry said.