“The boat SAAAAAANK!!” Emmy yelled in the direction of the air vent.

“Calm down, Em,” Banaoire said.

“I have had enough,” Emmy growled as she beat the dough on the overly floured surface in front of her, a white dust cloud billowing up to powder her face and dull her tiara.

“Um, Emmy,” Caeryn said politely, supervising her assistant prepare Nutella treats for the evening’s party, “you are supposed to gently knead the dough, not pound it.”

“Well sorry, Martha.”

Caeryn sighed. “The music isn’t THAT bad.”

“She has been listening to it for the past THREE days straight,” Emmy growled. She thwacked the ball of dough onto the table as a familiar refrain began yet again. “Ban, you have to go talk to her.”

“Me?” Banaoire said, her eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

Emmy gave her a dead stare. “I cannot listen to the Anti-Christ anymore.”

Caeryn snorted.

“Why me?” Banaoire said. “Why not Caeryn?”

“Hey!” Caeryn pouted as she flinged more Nutella into her mixing bowl.

“Ah, c’mon,” Emmy pleaded. “You can relate to her much better than we can.”

“I think I’m offended,” Banaoire said, placing her hands on her hips.

“Pleeeease,” Emmy begged. “You’re a sammich chick…that’s closer to her reality than Caeryn and I.”

“It’ll cost you,” Banaoire said.

“Name your price,” Emmy said.

“Your appointments. Give them to me,” Banaoire said in fine Terminator style.

“You’re crazy! No way I’m giving you today’s appointments.”

“Who said anything about today’s? I want all your appointments for the week.”

“But…eh….”

Banaoire shrugged her shoulders and went back to placing the paper cupcake liners in the pans while she whistled along to the tune echoing through the air vent.

Caeryn tried not to giggle.

“Fine,” Emmy said. “You can have them all.”

Banaoire’s eyes flew open. “Wow! You hate this music that much?”

“Yessss,” Emmy hissed between her teeth.

“Well alright then,” Banaoire said, dusting off her hands. “Don’t forget, she witnessed it,” she said, pointing at Caeryn. “He’s really gonna be hurt when he hears how easily you caved,” she teased.

“Just go talk to her,” Emmy snapped.

Banaoire smiled. “Will do.” She sauntered out of the kitchen, whistling all the way.

“I can’t believe you just did that!” Caeryn exclaimed. “How are you gonna go a whole week—“

“Just finish your cupcakes there,” Emmy grumbled. “Like I need an appointment,” she added, punching the dough.

~*~

The music grew louder and louder and louder as Banaoire climbed the stairs up the tower. Yes, Emmy was right, this was getting to be a bit too much. But one must never pass up an opportunity to bargain with Emmy’s intolerable temper, either. And now Banaoire was the proud owner of a week’s worth of Emmy’s General appointments. This was quite a coup. Since Emmy had no discernable job at the University, her numerous appointments were a rather coveted item.

Banaoire stopped at the top of the stairs and tried to catch her breath as she knocked on the door. The door was vibrating from the music, which most likely accounted for Banaoire not receiving an answer.

She tested the doorknob, and finding it unlocked, she carefully opened it and peeked inside.

**Yoou’re heeerre…there’s NOOOOOTHING I FEAR….**

“Oh God,” Banaoire said as she entered the room. There was Dande, reclined on the plush velvet settee….

**….AND I KNOOOW THAT MY HEART WILL go ooooonnn….”

…her hair and long, flowing burgundy gown blowing on the breeze as she stared longingly out the open window.

**We’ll staaaay…for-EEEEEEEVER THIS WAAY….**

“Um, Dande?” Banaoire slowly walked toward the other side of the room.

Dande kept staring out the window, gracefully casting aside the tresses that blew in her face.

**YOU ARE SAFE IN MY HEART AND….**

“Dande!”

**MY HEART WILL GO ON AND OOOO-OOOOOON….**

Dande sighed.

“DAAAANNNDEEEEEE!!!”

Dande squealed and sat up quickly, turning toward the intruder….and quite deftly brushing her hair out of her face as it blew sideways. She fluttered her eyelashes at Banaoire.

Banaoire sighed and marched over the CD player and shut off the music. She chuckled as she heard the echo of a “Woo-hoo!” rise up the airshaft.

“Oh,” Dande said softly. “Hello.”

Banaoire smiled. “Yes, hello.”

“I didn’t even hear you come in.”

“Dande, the speakers were buzzing, the walls were vibrating, and we could hear it all the way down the tower to the kitchen on the main floor.”

“I’m…I’m terribly sorry,” Dande said, a fragile flower so close to withering away. “It’s just that the music heals me.”

“Somehow I doubt that,” Banaoire mumbled. “And you must be freezing with the window open. It’s not very warm today.” She walked over to the window and closed it.

Dande’s hair and gown were still billowing out behind her.

Banaoire wrinkled her forehead at Dande. Dande touched the tips of her delicate fingers to her cheek, nicely showing her dainty, French-manicured nails. Banaoire looked around and then walked over to the source of the breeze behind the brocade room divider and flipped off the switch.

“A fan, Dande?” Banaoire said.

Dande slumped back against the settee as the breeze subsided. Then she sighed.

“Listen,” Banaoire said, walking over the settee, “this isn’t healthy. All this pining and moping. You need to get out, do things, meet other people.”

“There will never be another,” Dande said.

“Hey, we’re having a party tonight. Join us. Please. It’ll do you some good.”

“A party….”

Banaoire nodded. “Mmm-hmm. Friends, food, music, dancing….” She thought for a moment as Dande’s eyes turned toward the window again. “Lovely dresses, pretty hair….” Banaoire caught the slight flicker in Dande’s eyes. But it wasn’t enough. “In fact…we’re even going to….” Banaoire grinned. “We’re going to elect a queen.”

Dande’s head immediately turned. “Ooohh.”

“Yes,” Banaoire said enthusiastically.

“Queen of what?” Dande asked, sitting up a little.

“Queen of…the…party.” Banaoire wanted to smack herself as soon as she said it. Who would fall for that?

“Oooohhh,” Dande said again, although it was almost a squeal this time. “The Belle of the Ball,” she sighed happily.

“Yeah!” Banaoire was almost laughing at her good fortune.

Dande sat straight up. “Knights and ladies? And? And? And musicians?”

“Of course!” She didn’t ask if they were live musicians, and the General was technically a knight…the ladies might be a problem, but Dande didn’t make a habit of noticing small, annoying details. “So, you’ll be there?”

“Oh, yes,” Dande said. “Yes, of course, I will be there.” Her creamy, pale skin suddenly blossomed with the color of a perfect red rose kissed by the morning dew.

~*~

Dande’s heart soared as she stepped through the large doorway of the ballroom. The luscious music of stringed and delicate wind instruments filled the air as couples danced with graceful flourish in smooth, glorious circles across the floor. The scent of lilacs wafted on the light evening breeze, and the pleasant clink of champagne flutes accented the joyful laughter of debonair knights and their beloved ladies.

“Pardon me, Miss Dandelow,” came a courteous voice rising over the din of gaiety. “Miss Dandelow? Can I get you something to drink?” Dande smiled and looked over her shoulder, but she couldn’t determine what else the young woman was saying as the popping of champagne corks muted her words.

**I-I wanna defi-ine….the logic of our sex laaaws…**

“Hey, Dande!” Judy yelled over the roar of the industrial strength blender as it whirred into frappe mode. “Dande! Wanna margarita?!”

“I’m sorry,” Dande said, as loudly as her delicate voice could manage. “I didn’t hear you.”

**Let the handcuffs slip off your wrist…I’ll let you be my chaperone….**

“I said!” Judy giggled suddenly as she watched Wicket try to shake a groovethang to the funky sounds of Beck…and then he broke into a dead run out of the room as Shana spotted him and stomped after him in her 3-inch heels, her long black and crimson sleeves flapping madly as she flailed her arms in disgust that the lecherous creature was trying to crash their party.

“Pardon?” Dande said, flapping her eyelashes.

“Oh!” Judy snapped back to Dande. She flipped off the blender and lowered her voice a bit. “Margarita?”

“Oh, I’d love—“

“I thought you were pregnant,” Diebin snapped as she bellied up to the bar.

“Oh,” Dande said.

“Nice outfit, Die,” Darry mocked as she strode past in her little black Calvin Klein dress, puffing smoke high into the air and flipping her truly red hair.

Diebin grumbled, pulling her black stocking cap down on her head and adjusting her matching tank top as she hopped up onto a barstool to rescue her bare feet from the rather chilly dance floor. She adjusted her tank top again to make sure it wasn’t riding up over the elastic waistband of her boxers, and then she pulled her sexy sunglasses down the bridge of her nose in order to peer at Dande over the top of them.

“Virgin?” Judy asked Dande.

“Yeah, right,” Emmy said as she leaned against the bar on the other side of Dande, making sure her hips swayed and her legs were at the right angle to optimally show off her Nancy Sinatra-esque sequined mini-dress and black leather go-go boots since she had to relinquish all her General appointments for the week. She didn’t wear that tiara for nuthin’.

“No,” Judy said. “I meant virgin drink. Dande, would you like a virgin?”

Emmy and Diebin burst out laughing on cue. “She probably doesn’t, but we’ll take a couple,” Diebin said. “Or better yet, give them to Emmy since she won’t be gettin’ any this week.”

Emmy straightened her tiara with great harumph and placed her hand on her shifted hip with much attitude. “As I told Caeryn, I don’t NEED an appointment.”

“Uh-huh,” Diebin said. “Yeah. Right.” She leaned forward a little and whispered to Judy loud enough for Emmy to hear, “Stay out of her way. By the end of the week she’s gonna be crrrraaaannky.”

“Like she isn’t already,” Darry snapped as she whooshed past them again, puffing smoke, hair flip, et cetera.

“Gimme one of those,” Emmy said to Judy. “A real one. No salt. And one for the General. Extra Cuervo.”

Diebin cackled.

~*~

“Jael!”

“Sorry!”

“If she eats this boot, she’s toast! Do you have any idea how long it took me to find these?”

Jael scurried over to save Emmy’s go-go boots from a very hungry Space Dog. “I’m really sorry about that.”

“Don’t you ever feed her?” Emmy whined.

“Well, there was some mix-up with UPS, and they delivered ten more cases of Nutella instead of Space Dog’s Iams,” Jael said.

Caeryn tiptoed away from the conversation.

Shana scurried over as fast as she could in her tight black brocade skirt. “Space Dog! Get the Ewok…get the Ewok,” she cooed in doggie talk as she emphatically pointed toward the door.

Space Dog took sudden interest.

“Goooood doooooggieee,” Shana said. “Go on….get the Ewok.”

Space Dog licked her chops, fascinated with Shana’s sleeves as she lunged forward.

“Jael!!!”

“Sorry!”

~*~

Banaoire grabbed the margarita out of Dande’s hand and sniffed it. Then she handed it back. “Okay, just checking.”

“Oh,” Dande said. “I would never harm the baby,” she said gently rubbing her still mostly flat stomach. “It is the only part of my love, my Master, that I have. I carry him with me…and our love goes on…and on.”

“Speaking of which,” Emmy said. “If I ever hear that song coming from your room again—“

“Hey, Em,” Diebin said as she bounced into the conversation.

“What?”

“The General is looking for you.”

“Really?”

“No.” Diebin snorted.

“Don’t make me walk these boots all over you,” Emmy said.

“So when will they elect the Queen?” Dande asked, flapping her eyelashes at Banaoire.

“Uuhhhh….” Banaoire looked for an escape route.

“What Queen?” Diebin asked.

“The Queen of the party. When is the Queen of the party elected?” Dande eyed Emmy’s tiara.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Banaoire said, turning Dande’s face toward her.

“Ban?” Emmy asked, requesting an explanation.

“Well…. I…. I explained to Dande how we elect a Queen at every party. And…and….” Banaoire turned to Dande. “And we all decided that you are the Queen of the party.”

“Really?” Dande gasped bringing her petite hands to rest at the base of her smooth, elegant neck. “I am the Queen of the party?”

“Yes,” Banaoire said, nodding. “It was a unanimous decision.”

“I am the Queen of the party,” Dande sighed, her exquisite skin glowing, her teeth sparkling as she smiled the smile of the truly regal. “Well…I…I don’t know what to say. To have only arrived here days ago….and to have you all welcome me with such open arms….”

“And don’t ever show up here again when he’s in my bed,” Darry snapped as she sailed past yet again, puffing, flipping, yadda yadda.

“I suppose this means that I should mingle with my admirers,” Dande said, primping her silky hair. “Pardon me,” she said, turning quickly and walking away with expert hip swaying and a slight strut.

“Uh-oh,” Diebin said. “I think you just resurrected the wench in her.”

“Oh, who cares,” Emmy said. “There aren’t any Masters within a thousand parsecs of this place.”

Shana hiked her skirt up and took off out of the room.

Followed by Space Dog.

Followed by Jael.

“What exactly is a parsec, anyway?” Diebin asked.

“Margaritas?” Judy offered up a tray.

“Damned if I know,” Emmy said, taking another glass.

“Smile,” all heads turned to see Julia with her camera.

Emmy, Diebin, Banaoire, and Judy smiled like the seductresses that they were.

Click. Flash.

“Good one,” Julia said.

“Hey, when did you get here?” Judy asked.

“I’ve been here all along. Taking pictures. You know,” Julia answered nonchalantly.

All four women smiled nervously.

~*~

It was good being General. Surrounded by adoring women for every waking – and unwaking – moment. So they weren’t wenches, but he would never complain. He enjoyed the challenge of their not always agreeable personalities. And in the end, despite the bantering and the teasing, he knew that they would do anything for him…and he for them. As far as he could see it, he lacked nothing.

The General took another sip of his second – maybe third – jumbo margarita and eyed the room. And then he saw her. That….that woman. There was something about her…something mysterious…. Dare he say….elusive? Something that just did not make sense to him because he was Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi Knight and black-clad General. Did she not understand that?

**I’ve been really tryin’, baby….**

The General smiled. They could tell him anything they wanted, but he knew how this game worked.

**Tryin’ to hold back these feelings for so long….**

He set his glass down on a table and began to stalk across the room.

**And if you feel like I feel, baby….**

“Holy shit!” Diebin exclaimed pointing toward the panther-like creature moving across the floor. “What the hell is he doing?”

“No, no, no, no….” Caeryn muttered.

“How much Cuervo did you put in those drinks?” Emmy asked Judy.

“You told me to put extra!”

**Come on…oh, come on….**

The General stopped in front of her, giving her The Stance.

**Let’s get it on**

“Ooohh noooo,” Emmy said dropping her head to her hand. “What is he doing?”

**Let’s get it on**

Then he gave her The Look and said, “Are you enjoying yourself this evening?”

“Oh….”

**Let’s get it on**

“….yes…yes, I am,” Dande said, fluttering her eyelashes.

**Let’s get it on**

The General gave her The Smile. “Would you care to dance?”

“Oh,” Dande sighed. “I don’t know if the exertion is good for my baby.”

“It’s a slow song,” he drawled.

“Well, alright, Obi-Wan,” she said. “I’d be honored.”

**We’re all sensitive people**

“What a friggin’ idiot,” Emmy said as the General led Dande to the dance floor.

“Does he have any idea what he’s doing?” Banaoire asked.

“Obviously not, the horny prat,” Darry snapped, finally stopping to sip her Stoli martini and observe the display.

**With so much love to give, understand me sugar….**

“How are you finding your stay here?” the General asked.

“Oh,” Dande said. “I like it very much. Everyone has been so kind.”

“I am glad to hear it,” he said, swaying to the music and pulling her closer.

Dande smiled politely.

**Don’t you know how sweet and wonderful life can be….**

“I’m almost embarrassed for him,” Caeryn said.

“Almost?” Banaoire asked.

“Alright,” Diebin said, turning to the Ho’s, “this calls for desperate measures. Who is wearing the shortest skirt?”

Emmy grinned.

“Okay, Em, go-go girl….do your thing,” Diebin said.

“Wait,” Darry said, “are you sure her skirt is the shortest?”

“She’s got the boots, Darry,” Banaoire said.

“So?”

Emmy turned on Darry. “Oh give me a break. I lost a week’s worth of appointments with him to Ban. Cut me some slack.”

“No shit?” Darry laughed uproariously. “Go,” she said between guffaws, “knock yourself out.”

**So come on, come on, come on, come on, baby….**

“….and…and,” Dande sniffled, “I had to run for days and days….”

The General’s eyes glazed over. Then they suddenly darted over when he saw Emmy strut by. And she was wearing those boots. Perhaps he really didn’t need a wench after all.

“And since I lost my Master….I’ve been, so….so lonely….”

But then again, Emmy had forked over all her appointments for the week, so she really wouldn’t be playing hard to get for the next seven days.

“So, so lonely,” Dande whimpered as her lip quivered.

The General perked up a bit. “Oh really?”

**Stop beatin’ round the bush….**

“Shit, she almost had him,” Darry said.

“Why are men so fucking stupid?” Diebin asked.

“Cuz they’re men,” Banaoire said.

“And that’s one very drunk man,” Caeryn said. “And, as we know, he likes challenges.”

**Let’s get it on**

“Oh…I’m so sorry, Obi-Wan,” Dande said.

**Let’s get it on**

“There is no need to be sorry,” he said.

“But you knew him longer than I did….although he did love me more than anyone else….but you must be lonely without him as well,” Dande said.

**Let’s get it on**

“Well,” he said, pressing her closer to him, “perhaps we could help each other with our….loneliness,” he purred.

**Let’s get it on**

Dande smiled and raised her hand and placed it against his cheek. “Pretty,” she said, lightly patting his face. “But no.” She took a step back, curtsied, and sashayed across the room.

**Let’s get it on**

“I don’t think I’ve ever quite seen that expression on his face,” Banaoire said.

“He’s kinda cute with his mouth gaping open like that,” Caeryn said.

“You know what this means….” Emmy said.

“Angsty, pent-up passion General,” Diebin said.

“Shall I grab the dessert toppings?” Caeryn asked.

“I say we let him take a cold shower and suffer with the hangover,” Darry said, puffing and flipping.

“I’m with Darry,” Emmy said.

“That’ll teach him to toss us off for a completely disinterested wench,” Banaoire said.

“Let’s bail,” Caeryn said.

The women turned on their heels…except for Diebin.

“But…but…” she muttered. “Angsty General in need of comfort.”

“Come on,” Emmy said, yanking her by the arm and dragging her out.

**Let’s get it on**

Judy grinned as she watched the competition leave the room.

**Ooooohh…let’s get it on…**