Title: HSU FIC: Technically Speaking
Author: Dorotea with help from Darry and Dande
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Rating:
Timeline: After Skittles, Windchimes and a Plot
Author's Notes: I want to write smut really. I just promised Darry I would write RB smut. But the HSU just calls to me. Hey, where are the windchimes? You owe me big for this Darry.

Dorotea picked up the phone and pressed the number Ellie had given her. The phone rings once and is answered, "Hello?" A deep, melodious voice said.

"Uh, hi, Master?" Dorotea asked in disbelief.

"Dorotea?"

"You're dead."

"Well, it's a long story. You see I was a blue ghostie living at Aya's --"

"You're dead."

"I'm trying to explain, you never were a very good listener --"

"You're dead."

"I know, Dande, uh, acquired a clone and I just possessed --"

"You're still dead, though, right?" Dorotea asked agitatedly.

"Technically, yes, so we would appreciate you keeping this to yourself."

"I can see why, considering..."

"Considering, what?" The hippie asked sternly.

"What happens with Anakin and all..."

"Are you saying that is my fault? It was the will of the Force."

Dorotea squeezed her eyes shut. This is why she had left the collective. She always ended up fighting with him. And not in a good way, like with the General and Xani. "I'm not saying anything. I refuse to fight with the dead. Put Dande on -- now. Right now!"

"You've become one of them," He said in his most noble, disappointed voice.

Dorotea rolled her eyes. "Yes, now put the Wench on, I need her!"

"Dorotea! I miss you! All of you. How is everything?" Dande's lilting voice asked.

"We miss you too. Um, everything is the same here. Darry and I are going to try to raise the dead Saturday. She's still pining for that servant guy. Anyway, if it doesn't work, I'll lose Xani. Is it possible to plan a party in less than a week? Without me actually having to do any work? Should I stick with my basic black or go for something with color? And should I use gel or mousse on my hair? I want to look good when I call on the spirits."

Dande absorbed the information, nodding as Dorotea spit out the words, all the while massaging her Mas -- hippie's shoulders. "Have the Frosh plan the party. Ellie seems very together. Put in her in charge. Wear black clothing, the blood stains won't show that way. Gel, not mousse for raising the dead."

"Thank you, Dande. I think Coruscant agrees with you. Um, how's the pregnancy thing going?"

"Wonderfully, my Mast-- er, hippie says I'm more radiant than ever."

"Good. Good. You know technically, he's dead, right?"

"Don't mess with my reality and I won't mess with yours. E.G., Jedi Apprentice #8, that nasty throat wound the RB has at the end of Gladiator..."

"I understand. Love ya, gotta run!" Dorotea hung up the phone quickly and sighed. Never question anything that happens here, she thought.

The door to the library opened and Xanatos walked in. Dorotea took one look at him and screamed, "Nooooooooooo!" As if finding out her old Master was technically not completely dead and living as a hippie on Coruscant wasn't bad enough, now this.

Xanatos rakishly brushed his ebony hair out of his midnight-blue eyes and then slid his hands into the pockets of his Gap Khakis. "What's the matter, princess, overdue books?"

"Who, who, did that to you?" Dorotea stammered.

"Darry and I went to the mall today. See, I got my ears pierced too." Xani, cocked his head to the side, brushing back his hair for Dorotea could see the earrings.

A relieved sigh escaped Dorotea's throat. "Thank God. Okay, you're still cool, but don't take off that leather jacket. I guess it could be worse, at least she didn't take you to Old Navy."

Xanatos arched a brow. "Not even for..."

"Not even. But those pants must come off. Now," Dorotea smirked, leading Xanatos up the spiral stairs to her bedroom.

~~My heart will go on~~

Darry walked into her office, happy to see that the walls were once again frosted-boy-toy free. 'That Ellie was just amazing,' Darry thought, 'I'll bet I can find lots of stuff for her to do.' She opened the industrial size bag of Kitty Kibbles and poured it into the tiger's bowl. The tiger purred and rubbed against the Nurse's DKNY pantyhose.

Darry heard the door to the clinic open and sighed heavily, it was after hours, it better not be Emmy again complaining about how she was getting so much action she hardly had time to sleep or do her work. Without turning around, Darry snapped. "The Clinic is closed, unless it's an emergency and cramps are not an emergency -- they sell ibuprofen at the campus store!"

A soft, harmonious voice said, "I don't have any medical condition that needs care. Maximus told me that a dog told him that the Nurse has sought me. You must be she."

Darry turned and promptly fainted. As she fell to the floor two things occurred to her: one, her beloved was finally here and second, Dorotea and Laure could bait her no longer.

Cicero knitted his brows at the prone nurse. Maximus was right, this was a strange place, but he thought he could get used to a place where woman just fell at your feet. As a servant, he didn't get that often.

The tiger padded across the floor and nuzzled Darry's face, then ran her tongue across her cheek.

Darry opened her eyes. "What happened? I never faint. I have blue lightening for Sith's sake!"

Cicero kneeled beside her. "Where is your bed? Can I take you there?"

Darry looked up at his beautiful scarred face and said, "Hell, yes," and promptly fainted again.

She woke up a moment later and whispered. "Back door, stairs lead up to my quarters."

"I'll carry you," Cicero said, scooping her up.

Darry smiled at him as he carried her up the steps. "I'm so glad you finally made it."

~~and on~~

The next day Dorotea and Xani walked to the clinic. Dorotea frowned at the sign that hung there:

CLINIC CLOSED DUE TO CONDITIONS BEYOND THE NURSE'S CONTROL. IF YOU HAVE AN EMERGENCY, TOO BAD, I'M BUSY

Dorotea tried to open the door, it didn't budge. "Damn her. You need your leather pants back. Open the door," she ordered Xani.

Xani snapped his fingers and the door opened.

"Ooh, I like that. Much better than that stupid hand waving thing," Dorotea enthused as she walked into the clinic. She looked around. "Hmm, no sign of the bitch, I mean nurse. We have plans to make. Dead to raise."

"She must be upstairs," Xani said, petting the tiger.

"You stay here and play with the pussy. I'll be right back," Dorotea said as she started up the back stairs.

"I'll be here," Xani said as he sat down to play 'Elf Bowling' on the nurse's computer.

Dorotea found the door to Darry's bedroom partly opened, she knocked on it, loudly. "Darry, are you there?"

"Come in," sang the Nurse.

Dorotea frowned. She sounded happy. "I have a bad feeling about this," she said as she opened the door.

Her eyes widened at the sight of Cicero sleeping in Darry's bed.

"Damn, does this mean the ritual is off?" Dorotea demanded.

Darry nodded.

"Oh well, I guess this means I get to go to the rave," Dorotea muttered. "Ellie better do a good job planning it."

THE END