Title: Lost in Nowhere
Author: Kendra
Rating: P for pissed
Summary: The ranting and ravings of a left behind Ho and a General who can't remember what it is he's forgot.
Archive: guess so
Disclaimer: Yep, it's all my fault, no money made blah, blah, blah. Done to hopefully grasp what little sanity remains. Mistakes are all mine, forgive me.
Timeline: After Crime and Punishment

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At a phone booth in the middle of nowhere:
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"Come on somebody answer the stupid phone," Kendra angrily shouted as she placed her last quarter in the damned machine. "This is getting ridiculous...yeah, yeah, yeah, slaughter a goat...what shade of black...blah, blah, blah...sunshine of my life... nice accent though...Dorotea pick up the freakin phone!" the irate Ho demanded as birds scattered at the tirade.

"Dorotea you're my last hope! I'm stuck in the middle of freakin nowhere, just me and the birds communing; the damned bus left me at the service station. And so help me the General is dead when I see him again so you'd better cover his cute little ass cause it's going to be the last time you ever see it! And further more... Damn answering machine hung up on me!" It was then the left behind Ho took her frustrations out by kicking the phone booth with her new cowboy boots, as a scream ripped through the once quiet countryside, sending creatures scurrying for cover.

Back at HSU:
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"So how are my girls tonight?" The General asked as he straddled a chair in the bar to talk to some of the gathered Ho's. "Hey Judy what's the special tonight?

"Thought margaritas might do the trick tonight!" Judy replied as she sat the blue mega-margarita with gummy fish down before the General. "Is everything alright?" she asked when she noticed the far away look in his eyes.

"Have you ever had a feeling you're forgetting something...but you just don't know what it is?" he asked with a furrowed brow before taking a sip of his drink.

"Sure, especially when I go away on vacation, you know, did I leave the stove on, water running in the tub...somebody tied to the bed...things like that." Judy mused as she sat down in the chair beside him and watched him munch a tequila laden gummy fish. "Pretty good huh? Just ordered those special little gummy fish from Paris, Kendra is just crazy over them."

"Hmm, I'm sorry what did you say?" the General questioned as he knew there was a connection to be made but it just eluded him.

"Never mind, I was just talking about special ordering something. So tell me something Obi-Wan do you have any plans tonight? Judy seductively asked.

"No, what do you have in mind?" the General mischievously grinned.

"Oh just wait and see!" she purred before quickly standing up. "Alright the bar is closed! I want everybody outs of here in one minute...understand? I don't see enough movement people! Get out!" With the last Ho out the door Judy quickly grabbed the General by the collar and hauled him to the closest table.

Meanwhile in the wilds of who knows where:
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"Oh they're all so toast now...." Kendra mumbled maniacally as she stumbled down the deserted highway, one boot on, the other lost to a rabid rat miles back. "They are so going to pay..." she cackled as she plotted her next move against Kenobi and the other frosh.

Back at the Bar:
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After marathon sex on the table, the floor and the bar...Judy and the General took a break to drink a beer and get ready for round four, five, six, face it they'd lost track. Then something happened, just after Judy had the General pinned against the ice machine and right after the beer bottles crashed to the floor and the sound of a distant fire truck wailed in the night.

"Damn, I know what it is I forgot!" Kenobi loudly uttered as he kissed Judy on the cheek then moving out from behind the bar.

"What did you forget?" Judy quizzed as she propped herself up against the beer tap to steady herself as she watched him slide into his shirt.

"Kendra." he sighed.

"Ohh...I don't think she's going to be too happy right about now..."Judy grimaced.

Still on the Road to Nowhere:
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"That no good sorry excuse.... (The rest has been deleted to protect the innocent and for the mere sake of the new and improved cussing involved...use you imagination) Kendra mumbled as the moon lit her way on the still deserted road.