Title: Fiction Implausible
Authors: Julia & Sere
Rating: Top Secret
Archive: GG
Setting: after 'Employment Opportunities'
Summary: Your mission, should you choose to accept it...

~*~

Two shadows slipped down the hallway, pausing at the Clinic door to look at each other at the sounds of enthusiastic moans coming from the center.

It sounded like either an injured student or the impassioned response of one nurse.

The two nodded and moved on.

Definitely the nurse.

Down the hall to the library where the newly re-hung doors creaked slightly.

Eerie sounds from there.

Again, nothing unusual. This was Dorotea's stomping ground, after all.

Slipping past the Library, they came to Emmy's office.

"Oh, just hold still!"

A terse, accented voice ground out, "You don't have to yank on it..."

"Don't be a baby, Obi-Wan!" Sound of something metallic. "It'll grow back."

"I am rather attached to it..and so are most of the grrls."

A long sigh. "Why are you men always such babies about this?"

Twin, arched eyebrows.

The Diva. Hopefully the subject was the General's hair and not something else they were all quite fond of...

At the corridor, they split up, one going towards the General's office, the other heading for the door to the outside.

A frozen moment, leaning back to blend into the shadows as off-tone whistling was heard. The Padawannabe rambled past in his imitation of the General's swaggering, stalking prowl. His braid was wrapped around one ear, paperclip missing. "Ain't that tough enough? Ain't I tough enough...oh yeah babaay... Cal's your man...if the General can't do it, Cal sure can!"

Muffled snort of laughter from the shadow as the Padawannabe did a little dance step on his way out the door.

Must keep mind on the mission.

The mission.

So many distractions. So many intrigues...

The figure hissed as a tiger wandered up to sniff curiously at it. Made shooing motions.

Grimaced as the tiger licked the shooing hand.

Rumbling a loud purr, the tiger decided this was an acceptable person to rub against and proceeded to make sure a great deal of the black ninja-like outfit was coated in tiger hair.

Escaping the feline, the shadow took several moments outside Vocab Man's closet to get rid of the tiger hair.

No, it really didn't pay to wonder why Vocab Man had all those restraints, handcuffs, about 30 varieties of tape and one feather boa in his closet.

Some things were better unknown.

Ah..the General's office.

Silently, stealthily, the figure crept forward and inched forward to peer into the office.

Perfect.

Only one person.

Fresh meat...er..Diebin's new padawan.

Pulling something from the utility belt on its waist, the figure dropped to the floor and slithered towards the first desk. Kneeling, it crept to an edge and carefully took a look.

Woman. Sitting at desk. Looking terribly uncomfortable in a new catsuit. Frowning at the computer.

Hmm...wrong angle.

The figure crept to the other end of the desk and peered around.

Ah..much better.

Raising the tiny device, the figure depressed a button several times.

The computer suddenly made a belching noise. Music blasted out of it. "Ooooh this is the story 'bout a guy named Al and he lived in a sewer with his hamster pal, but the sanitation workers really didn't approve so he packed up his accordion and had to move to a city in Ohio where he lived in a tree and he -"

The song abruptly cut out as the woman in the catsuit pulled every plug from the wall with one yank.

Perfect.

Swiveling, the figure crawled out of the office, making a sharp turn towards the hall and the outside door.

Pausing to put the tiny device back in the pouch on the belt, the figure froze then looked slowly.....up.....

General Kenobi stood looking down, a perplexed frown furrowing his forehead, hands on his hips and one hip canted to the right.

The figure gulped and scrambled to its feet. Before it could make a dash for freedom around the black-clad General, his arm darted out and grabbed hold of the person in the ninja outfit. "Julia." A slow smile curved his lips and warmed his eyes to a simmering green as looked her up and down. "You look good in black."

That voice. Smoky. Sensuous.

Caught out sans her patented No-Swoon Sunglasses, the grrl quickly looked away.

Mistake.

Her eyes fastened on the red-gold braid trailing down the General's collared black shirt, tip curling towards the open expanse of skin showing.

Her mind did a meltdown as she locked her knees and fought off the urge to list.

The mission.

"Thank you, General." Reaching up, she pulled off the ninja mask. "Let me return the favor." Smiling, her own gaze did a tour of his body.

No distractions.

Concentrate.

She almost self-combusted as he took a step closer, eyes half-closed, mouth curved in a sensuous, promising smile.

"General Kenobi?"

Crap.

He looked up, momentarily distracted as DebLei appeared in the doorway of Diebin's office.

"I thought I heard your voice." The new padawan sighed in frustration. "I can't get this computer to stop playing this song! Can you help?"

Never one to turn any of his grrls down when they needed him, the General looked back to offer an apology to Julia....

Gone.

He turned, looking down the hallway.

Nothing.

Just some tiger hair and an empty Nutella jar sitting near the Dean's doorway.

Frowning, but well used to the vagarities of his grrls, the General sighed and turned to smile at DebLei. "Of course. Let's take a look at it..."
  

~*~
  

Judy yawned and looked around, taking stock of what she had behind the bar. Time to make another order.

Setting her list on the bar, she looked over at the newest addition of the Tattler and grinned.

Now what?

Pulling it over, she chuckled as she read the headline.

"Lawn Gnome to Catsuit - Diebin's New Office Assistant"

Beneath was a picture of DebLei when she had for some unknown reason dressed like Yoda. Right next to it was a picture of the woman in a catsuit seated at her desk.

Judy opened the newspaper to read: "Miracle improvement or more insanity rampant at HSU? Is there truth to a former ex-Office Assistant's assertion that 'George believe catsuit heal boo-boo.' The reporters are uncertain whether the hunkster meant the actual suit, or Diebin. Repeated attempts at further clarification only revealed that, 'George love Diebin'. Follow-up stories at a later date may clarify the matter."

"Hunh," Judy snorted and turned her attention back to her list.

Just another normal day at HSU.

~*~
  

Congrats, DebLei

Julia: "Good luck!"

Sere: "Yeah...you'll need it..." ~.^