Title: Escorted Out
Author: Kendra
Rating: C for crazy
Summary: The frosh and the General clash, can you actually be kicked out of a state? Archive: yep Disclaimer: Yeah right, just for kicks, nothing lost or gained, except maybe my sanity and that has always been debatable.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was late, the General was occupied with Brenda in his deluxe HoJo Inn presidential suite no less, leaving ample time for the frosh to rest after a long day of sunning, swimming and line dancing. However such was not the case when the lovely HoJo was right across the street from flashing neon reading 'Bubba's Little Backwoods Shack', it was just there beckoning the frosh to enter, so enter they did.

"So what do you think of this joint?" Ellie quizzed as she sipped her longneck and glanced around the room taking in the male scenery.

"I thought the first bar was bad, but this has the other beat by a mile" Kendra groaned "how can you stand this music? It's so...so twangy? I hate country-western music!"

"Just shut up and enjoy, drink your beer and quit griping" Ellie ordered as she watched Kymira and JenJen try to pick up two jean clad men at the bar.

"You know I don't drink beer, it does something to me...and tell me why is it everywhere we go that's the only thing they serve?" Kendra demanded as she downed her second bottle.

"Probably just to annoy you!" Robin laughed "And for somebody who claims to not drink the stuff I'd say you're doing a pretty good job so far." She remarked after the waitress brought another round to the table.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few hours later, back at the HoJo:

"What's wrong?" Brenda asked as the General stopped sucking her toe and got this far away look in his eyes as the two frolicked in the Jacuzzi.

"I sense a disturbance.." he softly said as his eyes focused on nothing inparticular.

"Ooh I love when you say that!" Brenda sighed as she wrapped her arms around him. " Can you say 'elusive' for me please, Obi-Wan, just this time?"

"I'm sorry? What did you say?" he asked completely unaware of what the Ho had requested. "Brenda I hate to leave, but I promise I'll make this up to you." He seductively said before kissing her senseless then stepping out of the jacuzzi to grab his clothes while the overwrought Ho wasn't sure if she should be mad or just flatline from the site of a naked, wet and glistening General striding across the room.

By the time Kenobi was dressed, a parade of flashing red lights could be seen peaking in from the curtains, curtains which never seem to meet in any hotel room, making his senses go into overload. Stepping out onto the tiny balcony he saw police and fire trucks converge on the little redneck bar across the street as many of the bar patrons stood about the dirt parking lot watching in amazement as a handful of very vocal women were being taken to police cruisers.

"I have a bad feeling about this." Brenda heavily sighed as she noticed the General grip the iron railing in a death grip as he hung his head. "You don't think it might be some other girls do you?" His quick glance at her words gave her the answer she sought, of course they were his girls being hauled away, who else would it be?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning in the wilds of Texas just outside the sheriff's department:

"Not one word!" Kenobi loudly ordered as he lead a very hungover Kymira, Kendra, Jen, Ellie, Robin and Bran out the front door of the local hick sheriff's office.

"But it wasn't our fault!" Robin began to protest but steel eyes met hers.

"Not one word!" he demanded as they headed towards the bus. "Why, why did I ever think this idea of a road trip would ever work, I must have been delusional, yeah, that's it, delusional..." he muttered. "Now get on the bus before I make you walk back to campus!"

"But it really wasn't our fault!" Kymira huffed, "If Ellie hadn't insisted on riding that mechanical bull then flying across the room when it bucked her off, this would have never happened."

"Yeah...right and I suppose your accidentally setting fire to the ladies room was not your fault either?" Bran shot back as the bickering escalated.

"It wasn't my fault, I was trying to show Jen that she was wrong, toilet tissue does burn faster than those brown papertowels that feel like sandpaper!" Kymira loudly exclaimed.

"Oh so now it's my fault you torched half the bar because of some bar bet with two redneck cowboys!" JenJen exclaimed "So tell me who was the one beating some man over the head with her boots then?" she demanded as she glanced at Robin and Ellie.

"Hey he deserved it" Ellie protested "he made a rude comment about me and that stupid mechanical bull and I will not have him dissin me in public. Besides I didn't use my boot, I used the pool stick, Robin was the one woopin ass with her boots."

"Damn straight, someone had to cover my sister-Hos back!" Robin smiled broadly as she high-fived Ellie in a show of unity, that is until the General stopped dead in his tracks and loudly whistled, getting everyone's attention as they groaned at the disturbing noise.

"Alright I've heard everyone else's story, what about you Kendra?" he questioned as he looked at the slightly panicked frosh who had been quiet the entire time.

"Umm...lap... no bar... dancing...I don't feel so good...I...I think I'm gonna be sick..." Kendra stammered before doubling over beside the bus, barely missing the General's boots as last night drinking reared it ugly head.

"Ooohh...." The other frosh exclaimed with a wince as they watched the sick Ho puke her guts out.

"Why don't you girls board the bus...I'll stay here with Kendra...go on" the General tiredly said, "Besides we still have an hour to leave the state..."

"Never been kicked out of a state before" Kymira mused as she and Ellie boarded the bus.

"Me either, you think they really meant it?" Ellie questioned as they noticed the police escort waiting by the bus.

"Yeah, I think they mean business this time" Kymira sighed. "This is so awesome, being kicked out of Texas, way too cool!" she smiled, "wait till the others hear about this."

"Suppose this means the General is not going to be too happy with us, huh?" Bran asked as she plopped into her seat.

"Guess you could say that" Jen groaned " we really are in big trouble this time. Wonder what it'll take to get out of this?"

"Don't know but it had better be good" Ellie remarked as the General and Kendra boarded the bus seconds later. "You ok?" El asked as Kendra collapsed into the seat beside her and moaned.

"Do I look ok?" Kendra snapped "I am never going to drink again..." she mumbled as the bus headed out of the state of Texas with it's own private police escort. "Does this mean we're going home?"

"Yeah, the General said he needs some peace and quiet" Brenda interjected as she leaned across the aisle to see the wayward Hos. "And if you think Kenobi is going to be tough on you guys, you ain't seen nothing yet! Rule number one for frosh, never, I repeat, never interrupt me and the General when we are otherwise engaged...Got it!" And with that promise, Brenda scrawled madly on her clipboard urgently plotting her payback, oh these new girls would pay and pay big she evilly smiled.

HSU here we come....