Title: E-I-E-EA
Author: Ellie and Kendra
Rating: Silliness
Archive: You betcha!
Summary: The frosh get EA's and HSU gets a new guest.
Disclaimer: Ken owns Ken, El owns El, and all the other happy Ho's own themselves.. George owns SW. No intent for profit.
Timeline: After Fiction Implausible, before the offices reopened.

"Alright, that does it!" Kymira shrieked as she stalked into the lounge, then proceeded to deposit blank EA applications before the gathered Ho's.

"Does what?" Jen questioned with worry as she looked at the form before her.

"Does what you ask...have you noticed what's going on around here? I mean really noticed?" Ky exclaimed as she strolled before the girls, hands clasped behind her back, eyeing each sitting Ho as she passed by. "Have any of you been to the clinic?"

"Yeah, just about every day," Kendra chimed in. "And don't give me that look either!" She demanded after noticing Jen's amusement. "It wasn't for an accident or anything...Vocab Man took care of that. You know something; he's pretty good too. Granted, he don't talk much, but his bedside manner is cool."

"Ken, just the facts!" Robin groaned as she went to grab a soda from the mini-bar in the far corner.

"Alright...don't be so pushy! As I was saying...I go to the clinic daily. Since I rollerblade in the mornings, I pick up Darry and Cic's breakfast, then deliver it. I mean Ellie's gotta sleep sometime. Besides we made a deal; I do this for her, she does something for me!" Kendra stated as she nudged her sleeping roomie in the ribs, waking her instantly.

"Yes, Master!" Ellie exclaimed as her eyes flew open and she sat forward.

"False alarm El, go back to sleep." Kendra ordered as Ellie collapsed back onto the couch.

"Ok, enough about the clinic, how 'bout the library? Notice anything odd there?" Kymira demanded as she paced.

"What do you consider odd: the noises, the lights or the coffin? Actually, they make sense." Kendra mused as all in attendance nodded in agreement.

"Well, now that you think about it, we can't get in there either, it's closed too." JenJen stated with a gleam in her eye, the first sparks of understanding registering. "I see..."

"And how about the Mediator's office? What there?" Ky continued with a satisfied smile.

"Closed too!" Robin said in excitement. "I see your point...even Shana has returned, but I've been to her office and Crow just keeps saying she's busy...know what I mean?"

"No." Kendra flatly confessed, as there was a collective groan from the gathered Ho's.

"Everything on campus is closed because everybody is too busy boinkin' their EA's!" Kymira exclaimed before collapsing into an overstuffed chair. "And frankly I'm tired of it! If it's good for them, then by gawd, it's good for us."

"Besides, Emmy barely lets the General out of her room because of his hair," Brenda added. "This little hair problem might last days." She sighed as everyone winced at the thought of no appointments with the General for the next week.

"You think so?" Kendra asked hesitantly, " I mean I know I'm only a frosh and don't have as many appointments as some, but damn, the General and I are only on page 234 of my book.... We have three chapters left...I can't be missing appointments! It's taking too long as is!" The frosh began to panic.

"Deep breath Ken, deep breath," Kymira ordered. "So now you see the reason for the EA applications in your hands...when the cat's away the mice will play! Now get to work and fill in those applications!"

"Ooh, I think I know the perfect guy..." Jen sweetly sighed moments later, as she rapidly filled in her application.

"Yep, me too." Kymira cackled with glee as her pen flew across the paper.

"Master, me too what?" Ellie loudly questioned during a minute of consciousness as she opened her eyes and sat up once again.

"Here fill this out...we're all getting an EA or two," Brenda ordered as she handed Ellie the pen and paper.

"Oh, ok!" Ellie smiled before thumping the pen to her chin, to think.

Five minutes later all were done, except for one very gloomy frosh. "You done yet Kendra?" Robin asked as she handed her application to Ellie, whom would hand deliver them to Master Darry.

"No, I'm not finished!" Kendra shot back.

"Haven't even put down the first word, have you?" Ellie sighed as Kendra shook her head.

"I can't think of anybody..." Kendra groaned in exasperation before wadding the application into a ball and throwing it in the trash. "Think I know how Obi-Wan felt when he wasn't picked to be a padawan...." She grumbled as she left the room, "no Master...no General...no fun sex...no EA...think I'll stop by the bar and talk to Judy, I could use a good drink..."

"She'll be ok." Ellie mused as she watched her roomie disappear. "Kendra just has the blues...if she could only channel that into something useful, like getting boinked till her eyes crossed, I think she'd be back to normal. Oh, well, she's a Ho; she'll figure something out! Always does!"

*****

*Later that day*

Ellie arrived back to her room, only slightly tired from her errands that day. Darry and Cic were still sick, so she'd only had the occasional food order and medicine delivery. Dorotea was stilled 'shacked' up in the library as well as Shana and Laure in the Mediator's office. Other than that all she'd had to do that day was hand carry a few EA's to the General. She had to admit, she kind of liked making up excuses for him to sign them. Something about pulling the wool over his eyes was kinda sexy.

She walked in and found Kendra, sitting Indian style in the middle of the floor; a floor finally free of cookie boxes thanks to Haken. She looked deep in thought, pencil to her mouth, staring blankly at the wall.

"Careful, don't hurt yourself," Ellie teased as she stepped over her friend. Kendra stuck her tongue out and rolled her eyes.

Ellie went into her room and Kendra yawned as she heard the familiar sound of smooching. Then Ellie emerged with a new outfit on.

"Just had to change clothes," Ellie said.

"Yeah, tell yourself whatever you want, El."

Truth was, Kendra was envious. Everyone else had and EA, or two (even three in some cases). She was the only Ho that wasn't getting a little extra. She had to admit, she enjoyed just the
General, but he seemed to be unattainable lately. Emmy was keeping him under lock and key. Darry was handing out her appointments to the other girls, but she'd only gotten one of those. It wasn't fair. She was beginning to think the Padawannabe was cute. She knew she was at the end.

Kendra started as she heard a knock at the door. Who could that be? Everyone she knew should be busy, according to her calculations.

"I'll get it," Ellie offered. "You need to stay focused."

Kendra turned her attention away then nearly peed her pants when Ellie screamed. She ran to the door to check on her friend and found her hugging a man. Gawds, her friend was a Ho. She couldn't see his face, but she was pretty sure it wasn't anyone she knew.

"Oh, my! What are you doing here?" She overheard her roomie shriek. "Hey, Kendra, I want you to meet someone."

Kendra looked over and her mouth fell to the floor. In front of her stood the second most beautiful man she'd ever seen, behind the General of course.

He smiled his pearly whites at her, and ran his hand through slightly shaggy, light brown hair. He was dressed in a dapper outfit from Armani, casual but sheik. He laughed and his eyes sparkled.

"Hi, I'm Mo." He extended a hand and Kendra took it shakily. At his touch she felled a chill run through her. Their eyes locked and she knew it was mutual.

"I'm Kendra, nice to meet you. You're a friend of Ellie's?" Kendra asked, curious as to whom this gorgeous man was.

"Yes, actually I'm here to find a friend of mine. He was out here when we came for the charity hockey game, but no one's heard from him since. I thought Ellie might have heard from him. You remember my teammate, Syd?" His words rolled off his tongue like silk and Kendra was smitten. Ellie though, was cool as a cucumber.

"Syd? Why, no, I haven't heard from him since the game. Should I be worried?"

"But El, isn't..." Kendra stopped when she saw her friend give her a stern look. "Isn't he the one you used to be friends with?" Kendra corrected.

"Yes, but I haven't seen him since the game." Ellie stated again.

"Well, I've got to be going. I've got to meet an old family friend at the station. We'll talk later, Mo. Kendra, you don't mind entertaining my friend, do you?" And without waiting for an answer she was out the door.

Kendra stared at Mo. Mo stared back. Then Kendra broke the silence.

"So you play hockey?"

"Yes, I do."

Kendra just smiled wider.

"Where are my manners?" Kendra gushed. "Let me show you my room. I've got a spacious walk-in closet."

Mo gave the girl a confused look, but followed her all the same. Kendra closed the door behind them, but not before she hung the Do Not Be Disturbed sign on the knob.

*That evening*

The Nurse and her servant were snuggled up in bed with a thermos of Judy's hot soup and cold medicine.

Max was tending to Jael with the same.

Dorotea was eagerly trying out all her knew coffins, and letting the ideas of slash dance happily through her head. (But she wouldn't dare voice them, given that it would squick the Wench.)

Shana and Laure were still tending to their fragile RB.

Caeryn was receiving hockey 'lessons' from John B.

Tasha and Mr. Vocab were still playing 'doctor'.

Sere and Julia were in the darkroom, developing secret photos.

Deblei was still glued to her computer screen filled with Diebin's upgraded screensaver.

Diebin was rearranging the appointment book, seems Cal was still penciled in.

The frosh Ho's and one Diva Padawan were watching Jerry Springer and giggling about their EA's.

Emmy was cutting the General's hair, again, while Judy watched and poured mega margaritas.

And one tired Padawan Ho parked her big Dodge Ram Quad Cab V-10 Dually, one tire up on the curb, and headed into the dorms with her guest.

"Now don't be afraid. I mean, we're a little strange here, but we're not dangerous, well, at least not deadly." As Ellie explained the man trembled slightly. "You can stay on the couch in my dorm room. I'm sure Kendra won't mind. Then tomorrow I'll show you around campus and introduce you to the staff and students."

They reached the room and Ellie gave him some extra sheets and helped him make up the couch. There were some awfully strange sounds coming from Kendra's bedroom. And come to think of it where was she, and where was Mo? Ellie grinned as the realization hit her. Guess Kendra finally figured out who she wanted to be her EA.

"You can meet my roommate tomorrow, seems she's, um, sleeping." The gray haired, bearded man smiled as Ellie made excuses for her friend. "And don't take off alone, wait for me to get up. The campus is not to be traveled lightly. HSU," Ellie mused to her guest, "you'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy." Blue eyes sparkled brightly through the man's age carved face as he nodded in understanding.

As Ellie dozed off she thought to herself how nice it was going to be to have Old Ben visiting.