Title: Day One
Author: Kendra
Rating: PP (Pathetically pointless)
Summary: Day one, need I say more.
Archive: Guess so
Disclaimer: Just for fun, no money no nothing need I say more.
Timeline: After Darrys. (Man I can't find the d##@ thing) you know the one! Sorry Darry! All screw-ups are mine, nobody else would claim them, can you blame them.

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Day One:

"You know if I hear one more bottle of beer on the wall I'm going postal" Kendra loudly protested as the chorus of bad driving songs continued to echo against the walls of the bus. "I mean it this time Ellie, I'll do it!" she promised as the other girl glanced her way while trying to decide if the threat was real this time around.

"Look, I've never made it to one beer on the wall and we only have twenty left" Ellie insisted before breaking into the chorus once more.

Meanwhile on the back of the bus:

"No, no, no, no!" Dande sighed as her patience began to wear thin. "Duct tape is used for cosmetic purposes only!"

"But why can't we use it to strap the General to the bed?" Robin demanded "clearly that's a better use of duct tape than keeping your cleavage perky!" she insisted as this daylong battle continued.

"Dear departed Master, give me strength..." Dande sighed as she place the back of her hand to her forehead and slumped into her chair.

Furthermore at the front of the bus:

"I don't know El, you sure Kendra's alright?" JenJen asked as she noticed the other ho slowly banging her head on the back of her seat.

"She'll be fine" Ellie insisted as she glanced to her right to see her roomie. "Just keep singing! We're almost to ten bottles of beer!"

"If you say so" Jen agreed before continuing the song.

As the second bottle of beer was taken down and passed around it happened...The Ho snapped with a blood-curdling scream as she suddenly stepped into the aisle and lost it. This caused a chain of event that could only be described as one in a great multitude to come on this trip to hell. The General was on his feet and in the aisle in a heartbeat to see what had caused one of his girls to scream. It was also during that split second the bus driver slammed on the brakes causing a chain reaction of flying books, drinks, and other assorted items to converge on the Ho's like confetti at a rugby match. Needless to say this sent the postal Ho into the General in a melee of arms and legs as he tried to keep both of them upright with as little bodily damage as possible.

"Kendra are you alright?" the General asked hesitantly as he detangled himself and helped her stand, yet the wild look in her eyes made him leery.

"If they sing one more bottle of beer on the wall..." she stammered.

"I promise you nobody will say anything about any bottle of beer on a wall" he said loud enough for everyone to here.

"Good, thank you!" Kendra exclaimed cheerfully as if the incident never happened and then went back to her seat as the General ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath, wondering seriously if his plan was fast becoming a mistake.

"You don't have to tell me" Brenda chimed in as she reached for her clipboard and pencil from two seats ahead where they had landed. "No more singing ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall during any HSU bus trips, is that it General?"

"For now..." he heavily agreed before the bus driver interrupted and demanded to know what had happened.

Once again on the Back of the Bus:

"Look at this mess!" Dande sighed as she looked at her hair in the lighted makeup mirror she always carried for travel. "I'll never get my hair to have just that right amount of bounce, lift and shine after getting all these cheese puffs out of it!"

"Ah... Dande, you missed one." Bran pointed out as the wench groaned and continued to pick cheese puffs out of her once beautifully coifed hair.

At the front of the bus once more:

"Man, never knew Kendra could loose it so good!" Kymira grinned. "I like the way she thinks, go postal, get slammed into Kenobi and cop a quick feel, what more could a Ho ask for!"

"Don't you even think about it!" Jen quickly ordered "I am not going to be part of your sorted plan...no, don't you dare."

"Aaahhh...come on Jen atleast think about it..." Kymira tried to persuade as the faint sound of 'the wheels on the bus go round and round' could be heard in the background.