*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Bail, honey, back off." Setting a stiletto'ed heel on the impossibly expensive desk, waiting for the other end of the phone to pick up, Shana turned an eye on the spoiled Antilles, who huffed and sat back down to play Doom on the laptop.
"Vincent Price's House of Satyrs."
"Stow it Crow. Weekly report."
Gesturing frantically at Tom Servo, who was putting the finishing touches on a terrarium/amusement park for Tibby 2, Crow T Robot adjusted the headset, "Hey boss, not bad. Sent off that nasty letter to James Cameron, re-subscribed to the Kim Cattrall fan club, the RB wandered in and asked when you would be returning, and then asked about his sister. Hey, have I seen him some place before? Wasn't he some tattooed porn shoppe--"
"Pasta strainer, Crow."
"Right," the Bot gulped. "Damaged furniture is gone, new stuff coming in tomorrow, DVD player got it's weekly cleaning, one of the tigers decided to stay in your office-- we named it Incitatus but it prefers 'hey big cat'-- and I moved your meeting with Wolfram and Hart. They had more questions."
"Damaged furniture?"
"And there's this massive rave going on, loud music, lots of weird noises, strangely dressed Hos, occasional screams of horror--"
Sliding away the laptop, shifting out of the large, warm lap, Shana repeated herself. "Damaged. Furniture."
"You didn't hear about that?"
Her eyes narrowed. "No. Enlighten me."
"Well, Dorotea and the RB and Xani were in here, um, you know, and then the tigers..." Crow trailed off, making "dead" gestures at Tom.
"Ah."
"It was mostly your desk, but we couldn't get all the fur out and I know you don't do replicas, so Dorotea ordered replacements from the Bombay Company. Nice stuff."
"So Xani was in my office?"
"Yeah. Is that a problem?"
Pointing at the stack of CDs on a side table, Shana ignored the dirty look the half-dressed former secretary shot her. "Could be. Lemme check the network and see if anything's been opened since I've left."
David held up a few disks, reading the covers. "'Offworld files?'"
"Yeah, that one. Crow, let him back in and I'll ship you back to Mike."
"Gotcha. No grey in the office."
Hanging up the cel, Shana raised an eyebrow to the curious man. "Call the sharks, tell them I'll be in LA in two days."
"Transport?"
"Immediately. Bring all my stuff, I'll head home from there."
David raised an eyebrow.
"And get some Alderaani wine. Maybe a few relics."
"And me?"
There was a pause as the Ho considered the danger of accidentally getting spotted with the person from her first EA application. Chewing her lip, looking through the CD-ROM, making note of certain reports and security codes, she shrugged. "Sure. Wear the black leather, and bring some stakes."
~*~
"Are we there yet?"
"Maybe I should have left you back there."
"But are we there yet? I have to check e-mail. There might be something important."
"For me," the OSA Director growled.
David gave her a hurt look. "I consider my weekly electronic Corgie Enthusiasts newsletter important."
"And that," she shook her head, catching a quick glimpse at the layer of smog being illuminated by the sunset, "is why you stay on Alderaan now."
"I thought you needed me to keep the lid on things."
"And your business out of other Hos."
"I resent that-- okay, so I resemble that remark."
Opening the door, flipping her new 'do before standing up and out onto the too sunny Southern California sidewalk, Shana gave a quick glare. "And yes, we're here. Stay put. And yes, you're going back to Alderaan once we're done here."
David pouted his lip out. "Sure, keep me from all the fun."
~*~
"Lindsey, I don't like this, I need to get back home."
The Wolfram and Hart lawyer smiled a bit, trying to keep this Ho, a person apparently unaffected by the shamans and mind readers, from messing up too much of the firm's other dealings. "There's not any problem. I drew up the order while you were on the way, the VPs just want to make sure the fine print is okay."
Pausing to stare at a three horned demon in khakis and a golf shirt, Shana nodded. "No prob. How about the anti-Force, indestructible, self-regenerating, magic resistant paper?"
"Ready to go. You must have some nice connections to be able to get some of this stuff."
"And then some. Want a share of Microsoft?"
~*~
Later...
Bearing two anti-Force, indestructible, self-regenerating, magic resistant copies of the duly notarised order, Shana stepped out the main door of Wolfram and Hart...
And smacked headlong into a tall, dark, brooding figure.
"What's your business there?"
Pausing for a moment to size up the male figure, his black leather pants, black shirt and black duster giving her hope of some future EA application, Shana shrugged. "Business. What's it to you?"
"Those are dangerous people in there."
She crossed her arms. "And I'm not somehow?"
"Not what?"
"Dangerous....?"
There was a pause, the face scrunching up into confusion. "But I thought-- okay, it's like this. An associate of mine had a vision of a woman looking a lot like you in danger right out in front of this building tonight."
"Not me."
"So you don't need my help?"
The Ho shrugged. "Outside of a quicker rescue from the pouting ex-secretary shrink in the limo, nope."
"Alright, well, I'll give you my card... when you're in trouble, contact me."
"Uh, sure." Opening the door and sliding in, rolling down the window, Shana took advantage of the lower view, smiling a bit. "This your home phone number too?"
Watching the black vehicle pull away, Angel blinked.
LA was getting weirder by the second.
~*~
Having accidentally made her way back into the admin building, Laure looked around. She had walked by the General's office, the Dean's office, the yet unoccupied OSA office, the PR office and a few others before wandering back into her own.
Which was not to forget stumbling over the tigers as they chased each other down the hall.
Sitting at her desk, nursing at the imbibe she had gotten for herself, the Mediator stared at the mess that was the glued visor, still dripping suit of armour formerly known as the RB.
"Are you still there? You haven't left me-- have you, my dear?"
Laure raised an eyebrow. She was going to need solvent that could dissolve anything oil based. "Yes, I am. Here, let me get you a glass of Merlot and a straw."
"That would be lovely," was the muffled reply.
"Um, hello? Anyone laying low?"
Breaking her gaze from the collection of leaves wedged at the neck joint, Laure looked out into the hall area. "In here."
Peering in carefully, quirking her head at the suit of armour sitting serenely in a chair, Shana smiled. "We haven't met. I'm Shana, the director of Student Affairs."
Laure held out her hand, smiling. "Laure, HSU Mediator.... and that's the suit of armour."
"RB! What did you do to earn this?"
The glued helmet made his best effort to talk clearly. "Oh Shana! My love, you've come back! Can I play Age of Civilisations again? Your dreadful secretary kicked me out and called me a Rex Harrison reject."
Both Hos exchanged glances. Shana smiled thinly. "Crow, my Bot secretary. He's, um, well, he's Crow."
"Good to meet you then, I guess we'll be working out a time share with him," Laure hooked a finger towards the suit, "at some point. Are you going to the rave?"
There was a pause. "The tiger that adopted my office?"
"Running around with the clinic tiger."
"The General?"
"Went Goth for the rave and is probably stripped of every bit of clothing by now."
"Xani?"
"Superglued in the library."
"Hmmm." Shana pointed down the hall suddenly. "Well, then I think I might go settle in and see what damage I have to fix there, furniture and all. If you want a quick rundown on the campus and... other things that go on here, stop on by."
"Sounds good."
"Wait. Laure... from Sunnyhell?"
"Yeah, you've heard?"
"Yeah," the other Ho dug suddenly into the pocket of her Versaci blazer, pulling out a card. "Tell Spike his sire needs a better hobby."
Taking the card, reading "Angel Investigations" and stifling the ruder of her thoughts, Laure nodded. "You met him?"
"In LA. At least he looks good in leather."
Shushing the suit as he made a whining sound, the mediator stepped into the hall, following a few steps behind the OSA director. "Is it always like this here?"
Shana raised an eyebrow. "Most of the time. And when the General has a jealousy fit, it can be even better."
"Sounds like something to plan for."
"Definitely."