"So, I see you two decided to fix the library yourselves." Ellie remarked as she saw the melee of boards, nails and assorted power tools strewn about the floor.
"Hey, we're trying!" Jen shot back as a loud banging could be heard from the other side of the unsteady looking wall. Seconds later it collapsed into a pile of dust and rubble at their feet.
"Damn!" Kendra screamed from the other side of the scattered remains. "That's the third time! What's with this crap, don't they know how to make walls like they used to!" She griped as she waved her hand before her face to clear the dust.
"Don't blame the wall, blame the two Ho's who think they can repair it!" Ellie grinned as Kendra shot her a look. "Besides how did you two get stuck with this?"
"Darry!" Kendra and Jen said in unison, "seems she had the whole zamboni incident on tape." Jen added, "but I have to say Kendra looked real good in that new outfit, if I had known I'd been on tape I'd have dressed for the occasion too."
"Besides, we heard Dorotea was on her way back and the library had better be fixed or she'd hex us or something," Kendra added. "And I don't want to be some backwoods bayou freak or even worse have warts," she shuddered.
"Well obviously you too will never get this done in time. So maybe I can help, I have a friend, who has a friend, who knows somebody who does home improvements, how different could fixing a library wall be from a house?" Ellie mused, "I'll give him a call and set things in motion, wish I could remember this fix it guy's name...seems like it was John, no, Tom, no, Jim...Jim Jaylor I think. From what I hear once he's done with a project it's nothing like you dared imagine."
"Great, you do that! We owe you one El!" Jen grinned, "guess that means we have time to go to the bar and grab a drink."
******
"So, tell us, what was Deblei's screensaver like?" Jen quizzed as the Ho's sat around the nearly deserted bar talking that evening.
"Two words!" Kendra giddily exclaimed with glazed eyes. "Hot, nekkid, throw me to the floor boink me senseless and then get down to the good lovin...."
"Ah, Ken that's more than two words." Ellie interrupted.
"Oh, sorry, Fuck Me...those two words...I miss the General." Kendra longingly sighed as she slumped against the counter, hands holding her chin.
"You mean, the come hither look?" Jen gulped, "I've gotta get a look at that screensaver!"
"Get a look, why not copy it!" Ellie slyly suggested as all heads turned her way. "Anybody game?" She smiled, "if so meet me back at the Admin entrance in ten minutes, it'll be dark then and we won't be noticed. Oh and wear something shadowy."
"Guys, I'm going to pretend I didn't just hear that," Judy groaned as she stepped behind the bar. "You know you could really get into trouble breaking into the General's office, not to mention hacking into a computer." She warned as the girls just objected before running out of the bar. "Oh it's going to be a long night."
********
"Excuse me? You two call those outfits dark and shadowy?" Ellie demanded as she rolled her eyes after seeing Kendra and Jen join her at the Admin entrance dressed in eye blinding colors.
"Hey, all the dark stuff is stored for winter!" Jen objected, "I thought this would work, it's not like I'm wearing neon yellow or anything?"
"Yeah and what's wrong with this leopard print shirt?" Kendra demanded as she glanced to her shirt and then to Jen's tropical print shirt. "I think were dressed fine, you're the one going commando in all black, and what's that black crap under your eyes?"
"Camouflage!" Ellie grunted through her teeth. "Why don't we just walk down the hall and shout break in right now," she mumbled before telling the other two to follow her. "And don't do anything stupid either."
"Who us?" Jen said with attitude. "Never, we're more stealth than...than...well I don't know who, but we're stealth."
*********
"Ok, there she goes." Ellie whispered as the three Ho's peered around the corner and watched Deblei lock the door then carefully maneuver down the ice in her stiletto heels. "Come on. And try to be quiet, Darry's just across the hall."
Two seconds later Ellie tripped over a stray hockey puck left on the ice, sending her ungracefully to her butt and a long slide. Which ended with a loud crash right into the clinic door. As she looked up in shock the door flew open and there stood Darry in her scrubs.
"Oh, it's just you," she mused as she looked down the hall and found it deserted, Jen and Kendra had ducked into Caeryn's office. "Ellie why don't you be a dear and go grab some more phones for me, I seem to be having a slight problem with inferior electronics lately."
"Sure!" Ellie replied as she stood up and slowly backed away. "Will do boss."
"Good, oh and Ellie we need to talk about this problem you seem to have."
"Problem?" Ellie asked as she swallowed loudly, fully expecting to be busted.
"Yes, dahling, don't you know this Rambo meets the Terminator look is so out this season. Remind me to get you color analyzed; black just doesn't suit you. I think you're more a summer person." Darry mused in a rather uncommonly good mood.
"Sure." El mumbled as she looked at her clothes, "I'll just do that! Oh do I hear somebody calling you?"
"Oh, must be Cic, sorry, gotta get back to the patient...duty calls." Darry exclaimed before slamming the door in Elllie's face.
**********
"Where did you learn how to pick a lock?" Kendra asked Ellie as they quickly made their way into the General's outer office.
"Don't you ever watch television? You learn everything from building nuclear weapons to upholstery on HGTV." Ellie stated as the three made their way to Deblei's desk.
"You sure you can do this?" Jen questioned as Ellie powered up the computer.
"Can I do this? Just stay out of my way girls and let the master work!"
"Ah sure, I'll be the look out." Jen stated as she tiptoed to the door leading to the hallway and placed her ear to the wood.
"What do I do?" Kendra pouted as Ellie brushed her aside to concentrate on breaking the code to Deblei's computer system. "Fine, I'll go check out the General's new desk before it gets scuffed," she huffed then turned to go into the inner sanctum.
"It's locked." Jen loudly whispered from her vantage point.
"Yeah, but not for long, please any moron knows that the spare key is always hidden inside one of these fake rocks." Kendra replied as she picked up the plastic rock by the door and easily fished the key out and unlocked the General's office. "Amateurs!"
"You mean to tell me that rock in the hallway had the key too." Ellie loudly demanded, taking a break from her criminal deeds.
"Sure!"
"Kendra, why didn't you tell me? Instead of letting me take a half hour and two broken nails to pick the lock?" Ellie demanded as Kendra shrugged her shoulders.
"You didn't ask."
"Oh you are just so Miss Mary Sunshine!" Ellie snapped before mumbling incoherently as she returned to the computer.
**********
"Do you hear something?" Jen whispered to Ellie who was doing a happy dance and holding a CD in her hand with the prized screensaver downloaded onto it.
"No, just the General... Oh shit, the General, what's he doing here, I mean I know what he's doing here, but what's he doing here now?" Ellie stammered as she fumbled about Deblei's desk scattering her pencils and paperclips everywhere as she tried to shut off the computer before the General came inside.
Seconds later the door opened and Jen scurried back to where Ellie now stood before Deb's desk after hiding the CD in one of her many pockets.
"Girls?" The General asked in confusion as he flipped on the overhead lights. "What's going on?"
"Ah, nothing, just thought we'd be the first to welcome you home!" Ellie brightly smiled as she went over to kiss him senseless. "We missed you!"
"Thanks..." He said with that look on his face which meant he knew his girls were up to something and it wasn't just a welcome home greeting.
"Yeah, what El just said, " Jen beamed before giving him a curl your toes kiss also.
"Alright, what are you girls up to? Thank the Force I know where Kymira is, well I think I do, but that only leaves one missing member of this group, where's Kendra?"
"There!" Ellie and Jen confessed at they pointed towards his office and he stalked straight into the room where he found Kendra reclining in his leather chair, feet propped up on the desk, computer turned on to elf bowling.
"Excuse me? Would you be so kind as to let me use MY desk?" The General loudly stated as that little crease in his brow became prominent once again, a look he'd had quite often as of late.
"What? General? Oh shi..." Kendra stammered as she tumbled out of the chair and into the floor from surprise.
"Are you alright?" He sighed as he helped the frosh up then kissed her forehead as she nodded her head yes. "Why don't you three sit down and we'll have a nice chat, I've missed having these talks and frankly I want to know everything that's happened on campus while I've been away." The General began as he motioned for the Ho's to take a seat after he slid into his chair. "And might I begin with what happened to the library? Seems I've just spent the last hour talking Dorotea into not burning whoever's responsible at the stake." He mused as he gave them all the look and they began to waiver. "Good! This should be most enlightening."
******* The following morning:
"Hurry up...I want to see this...El come on!" Jen said with excitement, as she couldn't stand still while Ellie loaded the stolen screensaver into the computer at the computer lab.
"I'm going as fast as I can!"
"You guys will love it!" Kendra beamed, "hurry up will ya, I've got an appointment with the General tonight, it'll take me that long to recover from this screensaver, " she giggled.
"Alright here it goes!" Ellie beamed as she sat back and put her hands behind her head in triumph.
"What the hell? That's not the General? That's ...its not...it can't be? Oh my Gawd, it is! It's Cal and he's nekkid!" Jen screeched as she doubled over in pain. "Kendra you said it was the General? You sure you don't have a thing for Cal and just got confused?"
"Damn Jen I think I know the difference!" Kendra testily snapped, "And don't either one of you say one word, I know what I saw and that...that ain't it!"
"Well if Kendra hasn't gone wacko on us with braidboy, then I figure this screensaver was booby trapped!" Ellie angrily said as she stood up and gasps and groans could be heard all around as the three Ho's noticed every computer in the lab now had Cal's lusty screensaver flashing before unsuspecting user. "I will not, I repeat I will not let this defeat me, I will crack this code and by the Force we will have that screensaver if it's the last thing I do!"
"I think I need to lay down," Jen groaned, "I'm feeling a little woozy now."
"Me too!" Kendra chimed in; "it's going to take years to erase this image of Cal out of my mind. Hmm, maybe I can get the General into starting the Kama Sutra tonight, that might help."