Title: HSU Fic: Oh Where, Oh Where Have My Little Ho's Gone 1/2
Author: Laure, Mediator
Rating: BOWK (Befuddled Obi Wan Kenobi)
Disclaimer: Don't own anything. Poor, very poor. Would be willing to own one slightly rusty suit of armor. Timeline: Set a couple days after President's Office Now Closed
Thanks:To Emmy, Dorotea and Darry for their kind words and help, and especially Darry for the title, at which I tend to suck and she doesn't.
The General wandered aimlessly towards the building where most of the classes were held. He had some idea about seeing how his younger ho's were doing scholastically, and he always enjoyed listening to his administrators and teachers lecture. A gust of wind blew the straggly ends of his pony tail in his face and he sighed, wondering if he should find a barber somewhere. Maybe after visiting a few classes, he'd take his motorcycle into town.

At least his hair had stopped growing, but things were still strange on campus.

But, at H.S.U. there were always strange things happening...

There were a lot of things puzzling him, too, and he gave some serious thought to sitting down and making a list.

After the classes and the haircut...

Opening a door, he stepped into a silent hallway, and smiled slightly. All his grrls must be in class. He strode down the hallway, peeking into open doorways and through tiny glass windows. By the time he reached the end of the long corridor, the smile had been replaced by a frown.

The classrooms were empty.

Taking the stairs two at a time, he quickly traversed the second floor hallway and found the same thing.

It was ten in the morning on a Wednesday. Where was everyone?

Returning outside, the General headed back to the administration building, a feeling of trepidation growing in him. Something was very...off. He refused to say or even think the word 'wrong'.

Two days before he had slipped from Emmy's embrace, wanting to check on his other grrls. He had run into a few of them and spent memorable hours with them, but...

How long had it been since he had seen at least half the staff? Since the night of the rave, but even then...he hadn't really been with them. Oh, there had been the occasional meeting, but his appointment schedule seemed to be way off.

Straightening his shoulders and flicking his ponytail out of his face-- having decided to forgo the haircut for now--the General marched into the administration building and nearly fell on his ass. Using the Force--which now was working again, thankfully--to keep himself upright, he headed for his office. He opened the door, calling out for his secretary. "Diebin, there seems to be something wrong with my schedule..."

He broke off his comments as the grrl behind the computer looked up with glazed eyes and nearly slid from her chair.

"Um, hello Deblei. How are you today?"

"...Okay." Her fingers fumbled with the monitor button, finally pushing it off. "Diebin's not here."

"So I see." He smiled reassuringly and saw perspiration break out on Deblei's forehead. "I'm sure you're handling things well."

Righting herself and taking a deep breath, Deblei nodded. "Yes, no problems. The Temple calls three or four times daily asking for you, but I've managed to fob them off with the most basic excuses."

"Good, good." The last thing he wanted was a lecture from one of the Jedi masters. He wasn't in the mood. "What about the ice?"

"Oh, I think you should ask Caeryn about that."

"I haven't seen her in at least a week." The General frowned as the truth of that statement hit him. He hadn't seen more than glimpses of too many of his grrls in the past few weeks. "What's on my schedule for the day?"

Deblei gave him a momentary blank look, then picked up a large Daytimer. "You're free all day."

He stared blankly back at her.

"Oh." Turning, he went into his office and quietly closed the door behind him. No appointments? He had worried that he'd missed some, but had full confidence in Diebin's rescheduling skills. Maybe the ho's were being spontaneous. Yesterday had been quite enjoyable, just running into some of them.

Yes, that had to be it.

Smiling confidently, the General sat down at his desk and turned on his computer monitor.

"Elf, elf baby."

What? As a silly looking game appeared on the screen, he noticed what looked like scuff marks marring the high polish on his desk.

Someone had been in his office.

With a heavy heart, the General remembered the last time he'd found someone in his office. His beloved Diebin and some jungle man.

There *were* an awfully large number of new men on campus, and he had been sequestered from a large number of his grrls for a week. Perhaps one of them had slipped.

He would forgive her, of course. His beloved ho's were only human. He knew from bonding over ale with the new head of mine security that Max, for one, was a lusty man who found several of the grrls attractive. Yes, perhaps one of them had slipped.

Best not think on that.

Turning off the inane game, the General reached for his in box and pulled out the one piece of paper--a copy of an order he'd signed for an emergency plumber. He vaguely remembered signing that the week before--though it was obvious that the plumbing still had problems. There had been absolutely no water pressure in his shower earlier--and washing hair the length his was now was time consuming when the water was at full power. It had been a nightmare.

It would have been nice to share the shower and the scrubbing of his locks with one of the ho's. So many of them seemed to appreciate him when he was wet.

He glanced down at the piece of yellow paper and set it in the out box to be filed. A frown furrowed his brows and wrinkled the space between them, as he wondered what else he had signed in the past several days. Ellie had come to Emmy's at least half a dozen times with forms for his signature. Shouldn't he have copies?

Rising, he walked over to the door and opened it. "Deblei? Is this all my paperwork for the past week?"

Deblei fumbled with her monitor again, blushing slightly. "I think so."

His brow furrowed again. "Shouldn't I have more? I know I signed more things. Can you see what happened to my copies?"

"Sure, right away."

The General nodded distractedly and closed the door, then opened it again, startling the ho behind the desk. "You'll let me know if anyone wants to see me, right?"

"Of course."

Closing the door for a final time, the General turned and gave his office a determined look. Quickly deciding there was nothing to do, he sat down at his desk, turned on the monitor and decided to try 'elf bowling'.

Four hours later, a knock disturbed him just as his ball flattened the frog. "Yes," he cheered, then looked up. "Huh? Oh, come in," he commanded, quickly fiddling with the monitor button.

Deblei stuck her head in. "Um, I'm not here full time, you know. I mean, I'd love to be, but I do have to study, yeah, that's it."

"Oh, okay. No one called?"

"Nope." She left before he could ask her another question. Frowning deeply, the General rose again and headed for the door, only to remember the ice. Going to the window, he opened it and climbed gracefully out, dropping down behind a large rose bush being nibbled on by a hungry looking Ewok.

Perhaps it was time for the haircut.

Heading for the garage, he caught a glimpse of action on the rugby field, and wondered if a game was on. He frowned even more at the distant sound of swords clanging together. He wasn't totally familiar with Earth sports, but he was pretty sure rugby didn't include swords. Cutting across the driveway, he was nearly run over by a custom mustang driven by an unfamiliar man.

Diebin sat in the passenger seat, sunglasses on, hair flying behind her, as they sped down the drive.

Something was definitely going on...

As he neared the rugby field, the General watched with soldierly appreciation as the miners trained for battle. He had no idea why the miners were training for battle, unless there had been attempts on the diamond mine. He made a mental note to find out if the diamonds had ever been verified to be authentic, and to find out if anyone was trying to steal them, then stood against one of the bleachers, admiring the swordsmanship.

Max and a hulk of a man were sparring, stripped down to only loincloths.

A group of grrls were sitting in the far bleachers, watching the two men train and eating what appeared to be grapes. As Max knocked the big guy down, all the grrls sighed as one.

The General frowned even more.

Noticing him, Max sheathed his sword and strode over to the bleachers. "General."

"General." The General glanced past the warrior to the mine entrance. "The mine's secure then?"

"Huh? Oh, yes, definitely. My men just like to stay limber. Back to work, men," Max yelled over his shoulder. The miners all stared at him blankly until a big, black man jabbed another one in the shoulder with the hilt of his sword and pointed to the mine entrance. Slowly the men gathered up their weapons and headed for the mine. "I probably should go join them." Max took off after his men and the General shook his head slowly.

They certainly seemed underdressed for mining.

Turning to the group of grrls, he flipped his irritating ponytail over his shoulder again and headed across the field. They were all freshmen, and, at his approach, swooned. Grinning, he jogged over to help them up.

Several enjoyable hours later, as the sun was beginning to set, the General headed back towards the administration building, his mind on dinner. The freshmen had been wonderful, but grapes--fed by himself to himself, of course--weren't very filling. As he approached the maze, he heard a suspicious clanking noise, then a feminine giggle.

"Is anyone there?" he called.

There was a large clank and a muffled 'damn', then a moment later, his new mediator hurried from behind the hedge. Her hair was tangled and one shirt tail was untucked.

"Are you all right?" he asked solicitously.

"Um, yeah." She blushed and tried to tidy her shirt.

"Did you fall?" He picked a twig out of her hair.

"No, no, I...meditate in here. Get away from all the problems on campus, that sort of thing."

"I thought I heard clanging."

Her eyes widened and her face turned an attractive shade of red. "I bang a gong."

"Ah."

"Like the new hair."

"Thank you. Would you care to join me for dinner?" he offered, flashing her a brilliant smile.

"Um...some other time. I have an appointment I have to keep."

The General gave Laure a disappointed look, but she scampered back into the maze. Befuddled, he watched her disappear around a bend in the hedge, then turned back to the administration building.

Maybe he'd see some of the administrative staff at dinner and they could have a nice long talk.

With a final flip of his annoying ponytail, the General walked towards the back door.