*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Oh, yeah, just like that, hon... ooo... little to the left..."

Someone pounded on the door.

"Shit. Aaaah, that tickles, ease up a bit... ooh, that's it..."

The pounding continued.

"Fuck! Okay, just a second!" Grabbing the purple cloak and throwing it around herself, the OSA Director stalked to the door, leaving her previous occupation on the wool rug, blinking in confusion.

"My dear?"

"Bite me."

"But I just was about to do just tha--"

Shana held up a hand, silencing the RB. Unlocking the deadbolt and opening the door, flipping her hair out of her eyes, she tried to smile at the occupants of the hall. "Can I help?"

Jen and Kymira grinned. "Can we get you to move the tiger and her kittens?"

There was a pause. "Excuse me?"

"Big mama tiger, kittens--"

"And?"

"On the General's desk."

"Oh. Well, shit. Where are they supposed to go?"

Both of the other Hos looked at each other. "Well, we can't leave them there, Darry's got the clinic good and locked up, the library is..."

Jen made a lewd gesture, "Otherwise occupied."

Ky snickered and continued. "Judy already said no, so we kinda thought since she likes you--

"Does this look like a cat kennel in here?"

Both of them peered around the door to survey the fireplace lit, lavish office with its breathing entertainment perched in front of the fireplace, more or less dressed. "No..."

"But we were hoping they could stay here til they have a better home."

The male tiger peeked his head over the desk, stretching in the executive style computer chair.

"Bond and all."

"You know."

Shana threw up her hands, nearly dropping the purple silk on the wood floor. "General's office?"

"On his desk."

"Purring up a storm," Jen supplied helpfully.

Casting a glance back at her previous entertainment, the OSA director sighed. "You, stay. Bond with the kitty currently shedding all over my good Corinthian leather. Well, grrls, this is ONE way to be in his office, though somehow I think I'll be ordering a new desk for him."

Kymira and Jen high-fived.

"And someone get Cal. And his little red wagon."

~*~

"Back up, Cal, if there's one thing that girl doesn't want to see is something with a wanger."

"But my wagon."

"I'll get you a new fuckin' wagon."

"You're awfully surly. How about an appointment? You seem stressed..."

Shana whipped her head around, pausing halfway into the dimly lit office. "Cal, an appointment with me in this case will involve you, five minutes and hedge clippers."

The Padawannabe backed off.

The female tiger raised her head.

"Hi sweetheart. Let's go for a ride, shall we?"

Gold eyes narrowed.

Ky and Jen backed up a little, pushing the red wagon forward.

Shana narrowed her own eyes, scratching at the RB's tunica that she had thrown on just before leaving the office. "Help me or be relegated to the Art classes that only involve PICTURES of the General."

A gasp echoed through the office.

DebLei wandered in, snacking on some of the Liquor Barn Nutella. "Hey, what's going on here?"

Cal pouted and stepped back towards Deb. "Tiger rescue."

"Huh?"

"Shana's moving the tiger family into her office."

"They like her."

The OSA Director turned and glared again. "Is it my fault that I do well with cats?"

Four heads nodded.

"Fine. I'm going in. If I get clawed to death, someone gets my job."

Four heads stilled, unwilling to take on that much work and regular contact with Crow.

"So, Deb, any messages?"

"Not really?"

"Where's the General?"

There was a pause. "Not here?"

"With Emmy."

"And all those other Hos that went to rescue him."

"Yep."

"I'm sensing either gratitude on his part or withholding."

"And a new desk. Eeeewww." Shana's voice called to them.

Deb gulped. "Desk? I might get in trouble."

"You're a Ho."

"He expects us to act out."

"And the tiger?"

"They're mascots."

"He won't buy it."

"Sure he will."

"No he won't."

"Yes he will."

"Heeeeeelllllloooo, McFly, coming through."

Cal scooted himself into a corner. The Hos stepped back as a wagon loaded with little striped bodies came rolling out, one full grown tiger with a cub in her mouth trotting behind.

Shana pointed at Kymira and then Jen. "You two owe me big time."

"Appointments?" Jen tried.

"Ooooh yeah."

"And Deb?"

"Yes?"

"Order a new desk. ASAP. Make Vocab Man clean up and get rid of this one. Eeew again."

~*~

Two full grown tigers and a litter of mewling litte ones later, Shana hid herself between the fainting couch and the fireplace, the RB feeding her ice cream.

"Thomeone ith going to pay for thith."

"Vengeance is a powerful thing."

"Tell me about ith," she returned, chewing on the marshmallow bits of the Rocky Road.

"They are rather adorable though."

"Thath'th ith, Commo, you've got litter box duty. The thcoop is over there."

The despot emperor sighed and fed another heaping scoop of ice cream to the Ho.

There was a chuffing sound from behind him.

Shana turned around partially and grinned. "Taking a break?"

The female tiger licked her lips.

Commo froze.

"Feed her some."

"But--"

"Who wears the stilettos here?"

"You."

"And who looks good in black?"

The RB paused. "We both do?"

"Hmm, good save. Who wears it without chafing?"

"You."

"So feed the tiger already."

"Yes, love."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*