~*~

"I can't stand this..." Julia looked around the closet. "What else is in here?"

"Brooms. Cleaning stuff." Sere winced as she kicked a piece of the broken phone.

"Gross." Emmy gave a distasteful sniff as more retching noises came from outside the closet.

"Can't count on Xani for anything...other than great sex," Dorotea muttered angrily, running fingers through her hair in agitation.

"The General will find us..." Sere winced at the sound of some poor Jedi regurgitating his boots backwards through his intestinal tracks. "I can't stand it..."

"Screw waiting." Julia pointed up. "Ventilation shaft. Let's get out of here!"

"You're claustrophobic, aren't you?" Emmy leaned against the closet wall and shook her head. "Obi-Wan was too." She grinned and waggled her eyebrows. "I cured him of that."

"Wonderful." Julia really didn't give two snaps up about anything but getting out of the frickin closet.

"And you know," Dorotea twisted a lock of hair around her finger, feeling slightly reminiscent. "Xani really is good at -"

SOON. As in...an hour ago.

Between the smell of the barf and Dorotea ranting about Xani's sexual prowess, she was ready to climb the walls. "Give me a boost, Sere."

Prying the vent open, Julia crawled in and managed to get squirmed around to face the way she'd come in. She held her arm down. "Sere, you coming with?"

"Yes!" Sere all but flew up her sister's arm. ANYTHING to escape the horrible sounds of Jedi dying.

"It's dark, it's dusty and you have no effing clue which way to go." Emmy crossed her arms. "I'm not going."

"The General will find us." Dorotea felt a need to reinforce her rediscovered passion for the General. "He'll be looking in closets. Not ventilation shafts."

"We got ourselves in." Julia gave a doubtful look at the maze of shafts behind her. "We can get out."

"See ya," Emmy waved. Under her breath she added, "In fifty years when they find your remains..."

"I heard that!" Sere's indignant voice echoed in the shafts.

"Geez, Sere...so did everyone else." Julia pulled the ventilation cover back in place. "Let's go."

"Xani -"

"Dorotea." The Alpha Supah Diva leveled her fellow Ho with a laser-eyed look. "One more word about perv boy and I'm shoving you out that door."

"Fine!" Dorotea crossed her arms and kicked the remains of her phone.

"Fine!" Emmy turned her back and tapped a foot impatiently.

The General would be arriving any minute now.

Any minute he'd be breaking down the door to get to them.

Yep...any second now.

Striding through the...well, the barf-covered hallways to find his Hos.

Emmy glanced at her watch.

Aaaaaaany minute now....
  

~*~
  

"It seems like we've done nothing but go up..."

"Well, then we should reach the roof soon, right?" Julia tried to keep an optimistic view of things.

"Great. Then we'll be a bazillion miles above everything at the top of a thousand dying Jedi's Temple!" Sere sniffled slightly.

"Sib, they aren't dying." Julia sighed. "They're just...purging their systems of all bacteria and fluids."

"That...is disgusting."

"Hey, most religions believe in purifying oneself. That's all you helped them do." Julia grinned. Yeah, that put a positive spin on the matter...

"When we get back home?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't watch any more TLC, 'kay? You're scaring me."

"Yeah, fine." Julia crawled for a moment longer before the idea hit. "We can...sing!"

"No."

"Mama had a chicken! Mama had a cow! Daddy didn't understand, he was just proud. Chicken! Cow!"

"JULIA!!" Sere grabbed her sister's foot and pulled. Hard.

"OOF!" With a woosh of dust, the grrl fell forward. "Hey!"

"You're losing it, Sis...."

"Hey..."

Sere heard the difference in her sister's tone of voice right away. "What?" She crawled forward, squeezing in next to Julia. "Oh...my....gawd...."

The two grinned at each other, making shooshing motions.

No...they hadn't found the General.

They did discover something...interesting.

Sculpted bodies, hard with muscle from physical training.

Wet from the showers...

"Braids...," Julia whispered.

"Nekkid braids," Sere sighed happily.

It wasn't the General. They weren't going to touch. They had priorities, and loyalty to the General ranked Numero Uno, Numero dos, and Numero Tres.

It sure was nice on the eyes though...

"Find...the...General..." Julia feeling lightheaded. "Must...find him...soon!"

"Black..prowling...growling..." Sere blinked. "Holy lightsabres, Batman! Look at the wanger on that braid!"

"SHHH!"

The two Hos scurried forward as several of the Padawans looked up towards the vents.

"We must have rats." One said.

"Yeah, I'll tell my Master. Or maybe we can just go get some free practice in..."

The two Padawans laughed, thinking of the fun they could have hunting rats through the Temple.

The Hos scurried faster.

~*~

"ANY minute now!" Emmy paced two steps forward, turned and stalked two steps back. "If I'm gonna be in a closet I at least want him in here with me!"

"Oh, and I'm having such a dandy time too..."

"I would rather be back with Dande." Emmy stopped to consider that. "Even if the hippie is there."

Dorotea straightened. "Let's just go. They're all barfing their guts out. What are they gonna do to us?" She stomped to the door and looked at Emmy. "Are you with me?"

Emmy shrugged. "Right behind you." She didn't move though.

Dorotea threw the door open, took a step forward....

And stopped. "Shit."

Emmy peered out the door and scowled. "What the -" Hearing the familiar buzz, the oh-so-deadly sound of lightsabres set on high power, the Alpha Ho drew herself up and pointed at Dorotea. "Thank God you found me! This crazy woman was holding me in that closet as a hostage!"

"Hostage?" The pale Jedi clutched at his stomach, but his sabre didn't waver.

Dorotea whirled, scowling at Emmy. "WHY IS IT ALWAYS MY FAULT!?"

"Because it IS!"

"Why can't it be Darry's fault?" Dorotea stepped up to go toe-to-toe with the Diva.

"Because Darry is back at the university!" Emmy's glare didn't waver an iota. The Diva knew how to face down challengers to her Alpha status.

She just wished she had her tiara on.

"Both of you." The Knights circling the Hos gestured for them to leave the closet. "Come with us. We'll let the Council sort this out."

"We are in deep crap now."

"No shit Sherlock."

"Well maybe I should have taken Xani up on his offer after all!"

Emmy broke off whatever she was going to say as the Knight next to her curled over to puke to the side. "This just keeps getting worse and worse..."

~*~

"I see light ahead!" Julia crawled faster.

"I have a bad feeling about this," Sere whimpered.

"Yeah, so do all those sick Jedi. C'mon!"

Crawling up to the shaft, the two had to sit up and lean close to see down into the room below.

"Do you see anyone?"

Sere shook her head.

"Let's go!" Julia pulled the ventilation cover open and dropped down into the room, waiting for her sister impatiently. "Come on, before someone sees us!"

Sere looked around, the feeling of foreboding very, very strong. "I recognize this room...."

The two huge doors at the end of the circular room opened, and twelve venerable, honored, rather sick to their stomachs Masters -- and one Knight -- walked in. Behind them followed a woman in a black jumpsuit and another woman in a coverall arguing.

Sere held up her hands as the group spotted them and moved to encircle them. "We didn't mean to kill all the Jedi! We're sorry!!"

"We are going to die," Julia sighed.
  

~*~

END?