Silence.

Absolute, dumbstruck, I-do-not-fucking-*believe*-this silence.

"I didn't know he snored," Banaoire tried to lighten the mood.

It didn't work.

His eyes dangerous, the General swung his head around to look at BJ. "What is the meaning of this?" he asked quietly.

"You tell me. He tried to wreck my bike. He's lucky I didn't turn him into a dark green smear on the dirt."

"But," Die began slowly, trying to finger-comb her hair into some semblance of sexy disorder, "what in the *hell* was Master Yoda doing here?!?"

Moving carefully, aware that right now she stood rather high on the General's shit list, BJ turned the wizened and unconscious little Jedi Master over.

Clutched tightly in his hand was a fistful of house fuses.

~ Meanwhile back in the jungle . . . ~

Just outside the HSU perimeter, someone began to giggle.

~ Meanwhile back in the States . . . ~

"I don't *care* how angry he'll be Obi-Wan, we need to know what the hell's going on," Emmy said for the third time.

"I believe that crown is starting to make you delusional," the General told her dryly.

Emmy's eyes narrowed as she pursed her lips. "My mental state is not the issue here."

"Someone's gonna sleep in the garage tonight," someone muttered.

"Oh be quiet."

"Besides, whether or not he *gets* angry is beside the point," BJ piped up suddenly. "I can counter anything he tries to throw at us, remember? Perks of being a werewolf."

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that," the General muttered.

"So wake him up all ready!" Dande urged.

"This must be getting to her," Die muttered to Shana. "She forgot to sound fraught and overeducated."

"Oh yeah, what's she doing here anyway?" BJ asked the two of them. "She's a Master babe, isn't she?"

"Long story. I'll fill you in later," Shana told her.

A loud groan drew the General and his rabid amours attention back to the table. Sounding like he was slowly dying of pain, Yoda was coming around, shaking his head so slowly one could almost hear his neck creak.

"My head, my head, hurts it does . . ."

His huge, faded blue eyes opened slowly, focusing on his surroundings, taking in the mostly dressed and very disheveled Hos, the carefully neutral General, and the very nearly hostile BJ.

The next words out of his mouth don't really bear repeating.

"By the gods!" the General exclaimed, his cheeks turning pink.

"What did he say?" the Grrls all demanded.

"It wouldn't translate," he copped out.

"Bullshit," BJ said flatly.

For the next few minutes, Yoda did his moral best to sit upright.

Only someone who'd spent a lot of time waking up in pain and ignorant of which way is up refrained from laughing in the poor alien's face.

It was probably a good thing that that list included most of the people present.

He managed, eventually, and stared at everyone with bleary rage in his eyes.

"What doing here, am I?" he demanded.

"You tell us!" BJ snapped.

"You be quiet!" Emmy commanded.

"Yes *ma'am*," she replied sarcastically, sitting in a chair and putting her feet up on the table.

Yoda, meanwhile, turned his head and beheld one of the Knights of the Order standing there with his shirt most of the way undone and his hair in disarray. The General's eyes dropped under the harsh glare. He shuffled his feet.

Emmy sighed. "If you want something done right, you've got to do it yourself."

Placing herself between the shamed General and the irate Master, Emmy crossed her arms over her chest.

"Why did you vandalize our campus Master Yoda?"

"Be here, Knight Kenobi should not be. Be within thirty light years of this place, he should not be!" Yoda retorted furiously.

Pointedly, BJ stuck out her tongue and bit it.

"Indignified, it is! So many eligable young Jedi for him there are!!!"

Yoda ranted on in a similar vein for several minutes. By the time he paused for breath, the Hos were on the verge of tearing his head off or bursting into tears. Space Dog, sensing Jael's distress, came and hopped up into her lap. He turned towards Master Yoda, and began to bark. Jael tried to shush him.

"Wait a minute," Darry said slowly. "Wait a minute! He's only supposed to bark when there's a Sith around!"

~ Meanwhile back in the jungle . . . ~

Someone swore, pulled a cloak close, and vanished into the night.

~ Meanwhile back in the States . . . ~

Yoda cut himself off mid-harangue. He shuddered, slumping over in a dead faint.

Space Dog quit barking.

Silence.

And a belch.

"'Scuse me."

Emmy turned around and looked at the deflated General. She used her finger to tip his chin up. "What just happened?"

He dismissed some of his shamed feelings, frowning and retreating inward, closing his eyes. The Hos all waited with held breath.

His eyes flew open, flashing. "He was posessed."

"Darth Ginsu!" Dande gasped, her hands flying to her face.

"What?" BJ's feet flew off the table, her face white. "Can't be. I'd've known."

"It's not spiritual. You wouldn't have." His confidence back, the General went to Yoda, touching him on the shoulder. His eyes closed and his face scrunched up for several minutes.

"Well?!?" everyone demanded when he finished, looking up.

"Dande's right. Though how Ginsu got through Master Yoda's mind, I haven't a clue." He looked over at Darry. "We'd better get him to the clinic. He'll be out for the next day or so."

Carefully lifting the wrinkled little dwarf of a Jedi, the General follwed Darry out of the lounge.

"I hate to be demanding," BJ drawled, groping for a smoke, "but would one of you guys please tell me what the hell is going on?!?"

~ Meanwhile back in the jungle . . . ~

Darry stood at the threshold of the clinic. "General come on. Master Yoda needs some sleep."

With a sigh, the General drew up the blankets and left Yoda in the bed.

Once outside, he leaned against the wall for several minutes, accepting Darry's enthused hugs and kisses.

"Thanks," he smiled, dropping a little kiss on the end of her nose. "I needed that."

"No charge." She grinned, taking his hand and leading him back to the lounge.

"*How*?" the General mumbled to himself over and over. "*How*?!?"

~ Meanwhile, back in the States . . . ~

"So that's where things are now," Die finished.

The door opened, admitting Darry and the General.

"How is he?" Banaoire asked.

"Sleeping." Darry sat down, frowning at BJ's cigarette.

"What about the power," Jael asked Emmy, "and the computers?"

Emmy shrugged. "I don't know. It depends on how long it takes for a repair guy to get here."

"This is not good Emmy," Die said dangerously. "We *need* computers."

"Speak for yourself," BJ muttered.

"Look, I know, but right now, it's the middle of the night, we're all tired, and we've got a lot of cleaning up to do tomorrow. Why don't we all go to bed."

Nods and muttered 'Yeahs' from the rest of the HSU faculty and staff.

"Now," Emmy said wickedly, grabbing hold of the General's open shirt, "I believe you and I were occupied at . . ."

"I'm not listening, I'm not listening, lalalalalala," BJ muttered, her hands over her ears. "I'm sacking out. G'dnight folks."

She left the lounge.

With an amused smirk, Die stared at her watch, counting seconds.

Exactly twenty-seven seconds after departing, BJ stuck her head back in the door. Blushing, she demanded, "Where the fuck's my room?"