::Enter Violins::

It was a dark and stormy night. Yet still she ran on, the wind beating against her weary form as the unforgiving torrent caused her flowing lilac gown to cling to every curve of her body.

::Enter Violas::

She stopped for a moment to catch her breath, brushing her dark, silken tresses away from her smooth, porcelain cheek as she looked over her shoulder with trepidation. She forced back a quiet sob as she sensed her unrelenting pursuer’s advance. Her legs began to move quickly again, running….escaping….to where she did not know.

When she thought she couldn’t go on any longer, she saw a light far off in the distance. It was a mere fleck shining through the dense fog and driving rain, but it brightened her fledgling spirit…a beacon in her darkest hour. She ran toward it, her hope slowly building. Perhaps she would find refuge after all.

She reached down with trembling hands, lifting the skirt of her dress and freeing her legs to carry her faster. The thick grass was sodden beneath her tiny feet, slowing her down as though running on an endless, murky sponge.

When she thought she couldn’t go on any longer, a lightening strike filled the sky, revealing a looming wrought iron gate just ahead. She hurried to the gate and stared up in wonder as the letters ‘HSU’ came into view. A rush of cautious joy coursed through her veins at the realization that salvation may lay just beyond.

::Cut to HSU lounge. A fire blazes in the hearth, filling the room with light and warmth….::

“Oh, bite me!” Emmy unceremoniously chucked a Skittle at Diebin.

“You are SUCH a sore loser,” Diebin retorted as she leaned out of the way of the flying candy.

“I think you cheated,” Emmy said, straightening the tiara on her head.

“How could I possibly cheat? You set up your own battleships. Don’t get mad at me because I’m a strategic expert.”

Emmy tossed a handful of Skittles to Space Dog to keep the canine from chewing on her royal leg. “You probably peeked.”

Diebin sighed and began to put her battleships away. “You’ve been giving me the death stare since we started playing. How could I peek?”

“Geez, you guys, it’s just a game,” Banaoire said as she lounged on the sofa reading the new issue of HSU Tattler.

“It is not JUST a game,” Emmy said, removing her ships as Space Dog licked her chops at the prospect of dining on Emmy’s hand.

“Look what I made!” Caeryn exclaimed, suddenly appearing in the doorway holding a lavish silver tray covered in treats.

“Look,” Emmy whispered to Space Dog as she pointed to Caeryn, “over there. Real food.”

Shana grabbed something off of Caeryn’s tray and tossed it to Space Dog as a diversionary tactic. “Well, Space Dog likes it. What is it?”

“Space Dog likes everything,” Jael said from the computer in the corner where she was working on her 586th Geek Art creation for the week, thanks to a recent influx of enrollees at HSU.

“No, this is actually good,” Caeryn said. “I made Nutella Rice Krispie treats, Nutella brownies, and Nutella pie.”

“Well, bring it on over, my sister,” Banaoire said, clearing the coffee table in front of her.

“Popcorn? Anyone?” Diebin said rather dejectedly.

“Heck yeah,” Emmy said. “Need the salt as the antidote to the sweet.”

“Sorry, Die,” Caeryn said. “I almost perfected the sugar removal process….and then I accidentally knocked over the Bunsen burner and torched my notes. But I’m close, I’m real, real close.”

“That’s alright,” Diebin said, getting up to search for popcorn. “The General promised me a jam session later tonight anyway.”

::Cut to dark and stormy night….::

She closed the large gate with a clang, hoping the latch would befuddle and slow down her attacker. Then she ran on toward the giant castle-like structure ahead, around the trees and through the garden. She ran in between two hedges, straight ahead and then left, still between the hedges. And then right. And then straight again. And then left….another left….and then a right. Still between the hedges as the drenched locks of hair bounced in fluid waves down her back.

When she thought she couldn’t go on any longer, she turned the corner and found a long alley stretched out in front of her. She ran straight ahead, assuming this had to be the end of the maze….and then she ran into another hedge. She stopped and made a desperate whining noise, looking all around her for the escape, knowing that her pursuer couldn’t be far behind. Her bosom heaved as she tried to catch her breath, her wet skin glistening in the light that filtered through the hedges. She peeked as best she could through the foliage and saw the building just beyond a grassy knoll on the other side of the hedge.

She quickly began to walk along the hedge, pushing her hand against it and searching for any possible opening. Her knees trembled, and she choked back another sob. She was trapped.

When she thought she couldn’t go on any longer, she reached the end of the hedge and was pleased to find the end of the maze.

::Enter Cellos:: Her tiny feet slipped in the soggy grass as she ran for her life toward the front door of the building. The adrenaline raced through her as she could hear the mad cackle of her attacker in the distance. “Help me, help me, help me,” she began to whisper as she ran on. Her only hope was that the lights in the windows meant that someone would actually be home when she finally made it to the door and could knock properly.

When she thought she couldn’t go on any longer, the sudden scent of popcorn assailed her. Her stomach growled to remind her of the endless days of hunger that preceded this one. The smell of popcorn could only mean one thing….

::Enter Bass::

….but she was too exhausted to figure out what that might be. She ran on….and on….and on. Finally, she made it across the lawn, stumbling onto the hard driveway, thankful for the solid surface beneath her tiny feet.

::Cut to lounge::

“Excellent Nutella usage, Caeryn,” Emmy said, woofing down her third brownie.

“Why, thank you,” Caeryn said, beaming with pride.

Suddenly Space Dog jumped up and began barking wildly through the Nutella goo in her mouth.

“Oh God!” Diebin shrieked, popcorn flying in the air as she sprang to her feet. “Alert the General!”

“You guys really need to calm down,” Banaoire said.

“No,” Emmy said. “If Space Dog is barking, that can only mean one thing.”

“That she’s a dog?” Shana asked sarcastically.

“No,” Diebin said. “There’s a Sith out there.”

“That’s right,” Emmy said. “Jael trained her to only bark at Sith, isn’t that right, Jael?”

“Mmm-hmm,” Jael nodded with disinterest as she attempted to manipulate the 47 shots she took of the General reading a book and looking at his computer screen.

“So then, why isn’t she barking at you?” Banaoire asked, turning her head toward Diebin. “You’re a Sith.”

“Yeah, but I’m a Ho first and foremost,” Diebin replied, walking to the emergency alert button. “Big difference between being a Sith Ho and just a plain ol’ Sith. I’d say, judging from Space Dog’s barking, we’ve got trouble.” Diebin lifted the door in front of the button and pressed it.

::Cut to darkened bedroom…silent….save for the heated sounds of a couple caught inflagrante…::

“Nnnnggghhh….oh, baby….”

::Enter loud whooping noise of emergency alert siren::

The General cursed as the unwelcome noise assaulted his ears, and he suddenly stilled his movements.

“Don’t EVEN tell me you’re leaving now.”

“I have to, you know that. It’s the emergency siren,” he said apologetically.

“Emergency? Yeah right, Emmy probably has her zipper stuck or something,” Darry snorted.

“I’m sorry,” he said, slowly crawling off the bed. “I will tend to the disturbance and return immediately, I promise.”

“Fuck,” Darry huffed, throwing the covers off and searching for her best robe in order to make sure the button presser got their ass kicked.

The General, once dressed in his requisite black uniform, attached his light saber to his belt and headed down the stairs.

::Cut back to dark and stormy night::

::Reminder: Violins, Violas, Cellos, and Bass are all in effect::

She staggered to the front door, and hesitated for a moment. The sharp, threatening barks on the other side of the door causing her to worry if this were truly a refuge after all. But knowing that she just couldn’t go on any longer, she tentatively reached forward and politely knocked on the door.

And then she cried with great flourish, “Help me! Please! Somebody help me!”

::Cut back inside. Keep the music.::

“It’s a woman!” Caeryn shouted.

“Beware of the Dark Side,” the General said as he hurried down the stairs. “It can affect our perceptions.”

“No, it really is a woman,” Caeryn said, her body splayed across the door, her eye positioned in front of the peephole.

“I’ll handle this,” the General said, moving Caeryn away from the door as the rest of the Grrls fell into formation behind him.

::Cut to outside::

She shivered as she heard the lock turn in the door. Her teeth chattered as the cold wind whipped around her, the rain continuing to assault her body. She smoothed her hair back and prepared to throw herself on the mercy of whoever it was that stood beyond the door.

She jumped back slightly as the door opened quickly, a tall ­ but not 6’2” tall ­ man dressed in black stepped forward, holding a familiar weapon. Then she gasped when her eyes reached his face. She knew him.

The General eyed this fragile creature before him, her bosom heaving from fright and exhaustion. He knew in that moment that she presented no threat. He reached forward slowly. “Let me help you.”

“Oh please, help me,” she sobbed. “Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi! Please, help me!”

“Yes, I believe I just offered to do that,” he said, gently taking her arm and pulling her inside.

The Grrls gasped when the familiar figure entered the foyer….although they had never seen her quite like this.

“What the FRACK is going on?” Darry yelled, sauntering down the stairs with much attitude. “This had better be worth interrupting us!”

“Tell me your name,” the General said softly.

“It’s….it’s….” She shivered, her eyes casting across the gaping mouths behind him. “It’s Dandelow.”

Darry froze on the stairs as she saw everyone gathered below. “Holy shit! Dande’s here!”

* * * * *