Title: HSU: Jean Who?
Author: Shana Nolan
Timeline: after/during Are You My Sister?
Rating: SSS (Silly and Self-Serving)
Disclaimers: hah, as if I own any of these people... including me.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Watching the black robed figure shuffle across the room, Crow swallowed nervously. The figure, supposedly the Ho known as his boss, sat down on the bed in from of a stack of papers, a hand slipping out from the huge robe to grab a pen and attack a pad of paper. Sure, she looked happy from the marathon General session, but she was back and giving the secretary Bot a sinister stare.

Clicking back onto his game on the laptop, the Bot took a chance. "So, Boss, you called me in here?"

The hood glanced up, shadows covering the Ho's eyes, a lock of freshly washed hair falling out on the collar. "Official stuff, and I need someone to hold up the sprig of hensbane and sage."

Incitatus raised his head at the mention of poultry.

"Sage and what?"

"Hensbane. It's a magical herb; Lindsey said it was more effective for stuff like this."

The tiger laid back down, stretching his toes.

"Oh." Crow went back to his game, sending Lara Croft into the mummy's lair.

"Crow."

"Huh?"

"Official stuff?"

"Oh, what about it? Pay raise for the Bots for their exemplary service?"

Glancing up from the hood, Shana shook her head. "It's a survey for the students; as a part of this office I have to make sure they're getting the best experience they can get here."

"Getting boinked senseless by the General isn't good enough?"

There was a scowl. "Ask Tom about the role of PR in this fine institution of learning."

Crow fell backwards laughing.

Incitatus yawned and curled his tail around his nose.

"I'm definitely not appreciated in my time."

"You and Kim Cattrall."

"Crow..."

"And anyways, what's with the Sith cape routine? Expecting asthmatic visitors?"

A pen flew across the room, nailing the secretary robot between the ping-pongs.

~*~

"Uh, boss, I don't think the question about Nutella body art is really clear."

Setting the spoon in the jar of Nutella, Shana crossed her arms. "And you suggest what?"

"Well," he waved a little Bot arm around, "is it just applying it to him, or getting it applied to the student? Is it just body art, or do we need to start a film festival revolving around that food... and in that case can I run it?"

"No, and good idea. You've been here too long, you're starting to think like a Ho."

"I could always take a vacation. The SoL has traveling capacities."

"And Mike."

"Oh, yeah, him. By now he's seen 'Worms' so many times he's likely off tequila."

"Or on it," the only human in the spacious living quarters muttered.

"Hey."

"What?"

"What about that movie with the body art?"

"Only if we cut out the last third of the movie..."

"Oh."

"And the first third."

"Why not just show the sex scenes."

The hood fell back as Shana jerked her head up. "Now -that- is a good idea. It can be a part of the orientation... and for weekend showings for exemplary students."

Crow nodded, about to add something when there was a knock on the door.

"Go get that Crow, and if it's the General, tell him I'll be in the bathtub in a few."

The Bot suddenly wished for an ability to wince, but his bowling pin mouth just couldn't do it. Shuffling across the hardwood floor, nearly tripping over a Persian rug, and then the male tiger, he opened the door.

The eyes, or rather, ruby colored glasses that looked down on him were none too enthused to see a golden, moving piece of plastic and metal greeting him.

"Do you need something? I don't recognise you as one of the EAs."

"What's an EA?"

About to respond with a snide remark, the Bot was suddenly shoved aside by a black cloaked figure, the Ho leaning against her door frame with a luscious smile on her lips. "Nothing you need to worry about." Shoving the hensbane and sage into Crow's hold, she gave him a warning look.

"Boss?"

"Just hold it. So, Scott, come on in."

"Are you the Director of Student Affairs here? I was told to talk to you rather than the Dean about a part time teaching position."

"And to retrieve your bike?"

"Boss...?"

Shana glared. "Wanna be Incitatus' chew toy again?"

"I'll just be holding the stinky herbs," the Bot muttered.

A little unnerved, Scott Summers glanced around the posh rooms, surprised that a school would give its staff this big a budget. "I heard Logan has it here."

"And our librarian has him quite busy. You must be parched. Want something to drink, wine perhaps?"

"No, that's okay."

Clenching the powder in a hand, she tossed the tainted wine plan aside and waited, watching the neatly attired mutant walk past her, heading for the couch. The way his ass moved in the charcoal grey pants...

"You're drooling, boss."

Shana licked her lips. "Thanks."

"So tell me more about this position."

Strolling over and gesturing to the couch, setting aside the stack of papers, she leaned down, opened a hand her clenched hand and blew the powder into the air, the light white cloud drifting under her visitor's nose.

He coughed.

"Oops, sorry about that."

"No problem."

Counting seconds, the Ho bided her time on the spell, watching the herbs in Crow's hand. When they burst into flame, she smiled wickedly. "Now, can I ask a question?"

Crow ran for the fireplace, flailing a hand.

Ruby glasses met her eyes. "Certainly."

"How's Jean?"

Throwing the bundle in, the Bot hopped around, making little yelping noises.

There was a pause. "Jean who?"

A cackle of laughter was heard through the admin living quarters floor.