Title: HSU fic: Frazzled
Author: Ellie
Archive: It's on the way, Nurse!
Rating: HK - Harass Kendra
Summary: Kendra is approaching her wits end. Will the General be able to boink her troubles away?
Note: This is self -serving. No big plots or changes on campus. Just wanted to pick on Kendra a while!
Beta?: Uh, no. And my motto: Grammar? Who needs it!

Kendra jolted upright in bed. What was that sound? A small scratching, scraping sound. She inched out of bed, so as not to wake the sleeping General, who had decided not to leave after their bath. She peaked into her closet, Mo was sound asleep.

::scrape, scrape::

As she made her way into the living room, the noise got louder. She approached her roommate's door and pressed her ear to the polished wood. It didn't sound like it was coming from there. She opened the door a smidgen anyway and peaked inside. Ellie lay amidst a mountain of pillows, her sheets a wild tangle around her. She must have been dreaming of something good. Haken lay draped across the foot of the large bed, snoring softly. A light gurgle could be heard from the closet, providing evidence of a content hockey hunk sleeping there.

::scrape, scrape::

So what was the noise she heard? Kendra turned back into the living room and stood there a moment. She watched as Old Ben slept on the couch. It was then she decided she lived in a zoo. Ellie had taken on a very bad habit of bringing home helpless creatures. It was getting difficult to bring the General into their dorm room. The hockey guys were content and knew to stay put unless called upon. The two Ho's had trained them well. So unless the General suddenly took on an urge to wear women's clothing, he wasn't going to find that little secret. Old Ben was family, though she had noticed the two avoided each other completely. She had on numerous occasions found herself staring at the two. They bore striking similarities. Haken, well Ellie had convinced the General that he was her bodyguard, which only served to peak the General's curiosity more. Now he seemed to think there was some sort of serial killer on campus stalking his Ho's.

Kendra shook her head and slid down the wall to the floor. Her eyes refocused to the moonlit room and she gasped. Both Ellie's door and the main door to the hall had been...altered. They had kitty doors. 'How tacky,' Kendra thought. She put her face in her hands and sighed. Whatever would she do with her lunatic roommate?

::scrape, scrape::

Kendra snapped to attention. That noise again. She looked around the room and stopped on the door. The kitty door was swinging back and forth. Kendra got up slowly. What had come in? Wasn't the tiger cub asleep in Ellie's room? Fear swelled in Kendra's belly. What was in her room? She slithered along the wall, trying to make it to her room. Why had she insisted on watching all four Alien movies last weekend? She couldn't get the thought of those little egg-layer things out of her head.

She was almost to her bedroom door when a blinding flash of black and orange was upon her. Her scream was muffled by a large pink tongue and replaced with a blech as she spit out the taste of tiger slobber. Seems McCoy couldn't sleep either. She peeled the happy tiger cub from her body and patted her on the head to keep her still. Hmm, that still didn't explain the sound though.

Suddenly, McCoy took off toward her room. She wiggled her way through the kitty door in to Ellie's bedroom.

::scrape, scrape::

Damn it! It was the frackin' kitty doors. She shook her head and tried to manage a chuckle, but it came out more of a grumble. She'd make sure Ellie had Mr. Vocab WD-40 those doors.

Heading back to her room and the sleeping General, Kendra sneezed, then grumbled again. After popping yet another Benadryl, she wiggled under the covers and snuggled up to Obi-Wan's warm body and started to fall asleep.

:scrape, scrape::

Kendra pulled a pillow over her head and began to plot her roommate's death.

*~*

The next morning Kendra rolled over and draped her arm across a muscular chest, cracking her eyelids to peek at the man beside her. Then she bolted up so fast she fell to the floor.

"Well, good morning," Mo said in a sleepy voice.

"But the General..." Kendra stared wide-eyed and confused.

"He's gone. Don't worry, he never saw me. I just couldn't let you sleep there by yourself." Seeing her disdain, Mo continued, "But he left you a note." Mo pointed to the nightstand.

Kendra managed to crawl over and grab the paper then grinned. Seems he had an early appointment, but he promised to meet her later for an after dinner snack.

*~*

"Have you seen Mr. Vocab?" Kendra asked another freshmen in the hallway. That was the third Ho she had questioned and no one knew where he was. She couldn't find Tasha to help and she was losing her patience.

As she approached the library, she heard some strange growling and giggling coming from behind the newly constructed replacement wall. She shook her head. She DID NOT want to know what was going on. JenJen cam rushing out of the double doors, two tiger cubs in tow.

"Hey, Jen. You seen Vocab man around here anywhere?"

The exasperated Ho tried to shuffle the few books in her arms and still retain hold of the two leashed tigers.

"Um, no. Between training for unraising the semi-undead, and taking care of not only my cub, but now Dorotea's that she gave to Kymira, and keeping Wolverine from shredding or eating everyone and everything in sight...no, I haven't had time to keep tabs on the groundskeeper!" JenJen glared at Kendra, a feral look in her eyes. What had the Librarian done to her?

Kendra finally pulled her jaw off the floor to speak. "Uh, Jen, maybe you should get some rest. Take the cubs to Jael's obedience school, ditch the books for the day, and get yourself an appointment with the General. As soon as Deb sees you, she'll get you in." JenJen perked up a little at the sound of a good General boinkin'. She darted off; the cubs pulling her along at break neck speed. Kendra sneezed and headed to the Clinic.

Kendra knocked loudly on the Clinic door and tapped her foot impatiently as she waited for the Nurse. Darry flung open the door clad in rumpled Dior and disheveled hair.

"What is it this time? You know, there is only so much I can do here. If it's broken call an ambulance." The Nurse started to shut the door, till Kendra reached out.

"Wait, I'm not hurt. I'm just looking for Mr. Vocab."

The Nurse stared at the frosh Ho. "And he would be here, why? Look, I'm very busy. The 'doctor' and I are performing, um, surgery." Kendra gave the Nurse a 'yeah right' look. "Okay, so it's not surgery, but it's better than standing here talking to you, no offense. Now, get lost." With that, the Nurse slammed the door into the shocked Ho's face. Then Kendra sneezed. Knowing that could only mean one thing, she glanced to her feet, and oddly enough, it wasn't a tiger staring back at her. It was Sugar. And she was still fuschia. She pranced around Kendra's feet for a moment then darted off down the hall. Kendra sneezed again.

Slowly she felt herself unraveling. She squelched it and decided to screw the scraping door. Ellie would have Moose fix it or suffer a slow death. For now, she was going back to her Benadryl, and have Mo feed her swedish gummy fish till her appointment with the General. The General would make it better...she just knew it.