Title: Constant Craving
Authors: Kymira, Kendra, Ellie
Rating: TADASN ('Twas a dark and stormy night)
Disclaimer: Not mine... never was... have to share
him...
Archive: If the nurse can PRY her ear away from the phone ;-)
Timeline: During So Sue me
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::SNAP/rumble::

In an instant, I'm jolted awake by the clap of thunder. Catching my breath, I decide to go back to sleep.

::CRACK/rumble::

Irritated now, I swing my feet over the edge of the bed and make my way to the large window that adorns my far wall. Sheets of rain pound against the window in a show of force from Mother Nature. I walk into the living room of the suite that I share with Jen. *She must still be up with LP tonight.* Smiling softly, I realize that I miss her company. Being Padawan Ho's take up a ton of time. Not that it isn't worth it, but I find her absense almost overwhelming at times like these.

The remote in my hand, I flick on the TV to check the weather. It turns out to be just one of those brief, but violent summer storms. I'd love to go check it myself, but Obi made me promise after last time. Unbidden, my thoughts turn to him. God, how long has it been? I was fine with his departure at first. I have to admit, it was wonderful to hear from him, but I had so many other things to do... then he wrote to me... privately to me. He wrote about the last time... I feel my eyes mist over as I turn the TV off.

The bed is still warm when I return. Another roar from outside makes me happy to snuggle into the covers. I cuddle up to the warm body next to me, inhaling his scent. Something isn't right...

::RUMBLE::

Unconciously, I jump, waking the sleeping man beside me. "What's wrong, Mistress?" I shift again, muttering, trying to burrow into his side. Quintus wiggles slightly, settling himself. "Are you truly all right, Mistress?" Sighing, I admit my problem. Quintus seems almost... amused at my prediciment. "It's just a storm. Roll over and go back to sleep."

Anger wells up in me. *Roll over and go back to sleep? I don't think so* One hard shove,and Quintus is on the floor. Rising again, I snatch my fleecy robe and my sheepskin slippers on the way out the door. Scooping up a snoozing Tyberious, I listen with malicious humor at the sound of Quintus stumbling around, trying to locate all his clothes in the disarray of my bedroom.

Stroking Tyberious, I make my way to the covered patio that graces the front of my dorm. I sit on the porch swing and curl my feet under me, depositing my now purring cub in my lap. Tyberious fools around, like all bored young creatures, before he collapses back into slumber.

The rain falls harder, and harder still as my thoughts rage along with it. I think back to Quintus and his dismissal of my instinctive dislike of storms. He just doesn't understand... The main reason I chased storms was that ambivilance, as if I thought that in learning about them, I could conquer them, along with my own self doubt and fears... I had taken the chance to open up to him, and he had scoffed at me. If it were the General, he would have simply opened his arms and held me close, whispering words of love and peace. Obi-Wan had been through 'storms' of his own, and I had no doubt now that he really understood.

The click of the door brought my mind back to the moment as Quintus appeared. A warm hand clasped mine and lifted it to be kissed by strong lips.

"Mistress Ky, I am sorry if I upset you."

"You need to learn one simple fact of life, praetorian. NEVER mess with a Grrl's feelings. I brought you here. Not because I needed you. I don't NEED anyone. I wanted you here with me."

"Mistress, forgive me. Come back to bed. Please."

"No. You go."

Quintus turns to make his way back into the dorm.

"Where are you going?" "Back to bed..." "Not there you're not. Go back to the rugby pitch, where you belong. Your bed is waiting there."

"Surely you don't mean..."

"Get out."

"Now Ky, be realistic..."

"Get out... Now." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As another crash of thunder rattled the window, Kendra groaned loudly and flopped across the bed once more. Every day was getting worse, any little thing she saw reminded her of the General...and with that another roar of thunder and the Ho, flipped to the other side of the large bed. She had even relegated Mo to just friendship status the day before, there was no fun in fooling around with her EA, her heart belonged to another.

"This is ridiculous!" Kendra said aloud before throwing the covers to the floor and stumbling to her closet. She had even moved Mo into Ellie's closet with Syd, figuring her roomie had such a collection she wouldn't notice one more.

Sure the General had sent a lovely letter, well to most it was lovely, but to her it was just ink on paper..."missed me, right," Kendra muttered as she thought back. And sure the private note sent later cheered her up briefly, but that was no substitute for flesh and blood. She missed the Jedi General and was feeling unloved.

"Ahhh..." She sighed as she spotted her untouched Tantric Sex Book, sitting on the closet shelf. It had been way too long since the two of them had stopped at page three hundred, first the incident of his leaving the school, then the appointment book scandal, then his crazy rant about health and now a trial. He was never home any more or atleast never available lately. The Ho just whimpered and bit her bottom lip. "I'm not going to cry, I'm not going to cry...." She muttered to herself.

Granted the emergency call Judy placed to the General for her a couple days back helped ease the loneliness immensely, however that too faded as the Ho wondered if he would really have called on his own. She had never once thought the General had taken them for granted until the past few days, and that hurt. Truth was she was angry, angry with him and angry with herself for feeling as if she needed him to breathe. Hell who was she kidding, she did need him to breathe, and that just added to the misery.

"You're sure going to have a lot of explaining to do Kenobi..." Kendra mumbled as she grabbed her robe from the closet. "And even more making up to do..." she continued to rant as she decided to go barefoot. " If you had just said good-bye this time maybe I wouldn't be so mad at you...." And with that the Ho crept out of her room and decided to go to the main kitchen, right now ice cream and chocolate might sooth her want. Because even her gummy fish had lost it's flavor lately....sure soak them long enough in liquor and she'd eat them, granted yesterday's binge still had her head aching a little. But gummy fish reminded her of the General and right now that ache was too much, for even her candy to touch, so she had sworn the dreaded addiction off. "He'd like that if he was still on his health kick.." Kendra giggled as she left the dorm room.

As she walked towards the far exit, deciding to take the long way to the kitchen to avoid seeing the pool, the Ho just groaned loudly. "Great, forgot thunder usually meant rain..." and in Kendra's brain that always spelled one thing, a wet, glistening, drops of water running down his golden chest, Obi. "Damn, can't get away for you anywhere," Kendra sighed as she stepped into the rain and ran to the kitchen. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I flick another set of ashes out the cracked window and hug my knees tighter to my chest. It's turned a little chilly out as the thunderstorm rolls in. The sound of the raindrops hitting the windowpane is a comforting sound, and I close my eyes and listen to them drum.

"Mmmppphhh." Logan mumbles from the bed and tosses and turns. Watching him sleep makes me smile. He seems so helpless, so gentle, but I know just under those knuckles are claws as sharp as razors. That thought makes me grin again.

Taking another long drag, I savor it for a moment, the slightly bitter taste of the smoke rolling over my tongue as I exhale. Logan's nose twitches at the scent of the cigarette smoke, but he doesn't wake up.

I enjoy watching him lay there, bare-chested, exposed and twisted amongst the sheets, but it doesn't dull the little part that lay empty within.

I love my escapades with my EA's, but I cherish the moments I have with the General, with Obi-Wan Kenobi. He seems to comfort me in a way no other man can.

He is my concrete into reality, and even when the world seems at its worst he is there to lend a shoulder. I can cry to him and he doesn't judge, doesn't lend an earful of advice he knows I won't take. He's just there and he knows that is what counts.

I miss him.

Sure I've had great sex while he is away.

But it can't replace him. He's more than great sex; not that it isn't a staple in my relationship with him. But he is also a best friend, a confidant, and more than just a man to my needs as a woman.

He is everything. I can hear his laugh, feel him smile in the dark as he would when we would lay together, tangled and sweaty in the sheets after a night of making love.

And I remember the times his Jedi exterior came crashing down and I became the kind shoulder. Something he would never show in public, but he can to me, he can to all his grrls.

He is a strong man, but an honest one, and true to himself, as he is with me, with us all.

Noises break my reverie, as I hear my roommate, Kendra stumbling about the living room. I hear the main door open and close even above the thunder and lightning.

She's taken this harder than I have, and I wish there was something I could do. I don't think anything would help short of wrapping her in a Galactic Fed Ex box and shipping her overnight to Coruscant c/o The General!

I giggle at this thought, and light a second cigarette off the first.

Half way through it, Logan wakes and I see him run a hand across the empty side of the bed.

"Come back to bed," he says quietly but gruffly and I know it's leaning more towards a command than a request.

It's chilly anyway so I toss the butt out the window and swear I can hear it sizzle out in the raindrops as it falls the ground below.

Crawling into the warm sheets, cradled to a strong, fuzzy chest, I try to hide a sigh.

I may sleep wrapped in the arms of Logan, but I know I'll dream of the General.

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Soft footsteps bring me out of my reviere. Kendra pads into the dark kitchen with the same look on her face that I feel must be on mine. She eyes the ice cream pint in my hand, then grimaces. I reach for the drawer next to me and pull out a spoon. Offering it to her renders an age old invitation that many women have accepted over the years. We sit quietly for a time, finding solace in the company. Another sound snags our attention. Looking up, we see Ellie standing in the doorway of the kitchen. Kendra grins wryly and holds up another spoon while I go to the fridge to get more ice cream. Now, the three of us sit there, muttering and chatting about nothing and everything, but narrowly avoiding one subject. Until..

"You miss him?"

"Yeah. I do. You?"

::sigh:: "Yep. I really do."

More silence...

"I've had enough of this... We need him home. Soon."