Brenda paced furiously in her office. Her desk was covered in messages for Emmy...all prospective parents and students seeking more information on enrolling for the fall semester. All waiting for a call back from the Director of Public Relations. She could handle some of them, but not all, she needed help. She picked up the phone and called the Tattler office to place an ad for temporary help.

After the phone call, Brenda opened the door to Emmy's office again, hoping that somehow the Diva had miraculously appeared. The office was empty. Where was Emmy? It was not like her to shirk her duties. She wasn't with the General -- what other possible reason was there for her to not be doing her job?

~*~*~*~

Emmy stabbed the Big Mac wrapper, picking it up and putting it in the bright white litterbag she was carrying. It was 105 degrees in the shade, she was wearing a bright orange jumpsuit that was normally shapeless, but was currently plastered to her body by sweat.

Emmy cursed silently, as a pickup truck driver honked and whistled as she stabbed the litter, she wasn't sure how, but this had to be Dorotea's fault.

~*~*~*~

Dorotea sat in the library on the sofa with LP. She scoured the Help Wanted ads. "Shipping Clerk? You could work in a nice big warehouse?"

LP arched a brow. "A dirty warehouse? I think not."

Dorotea sighed and fed him a couple of Skittles. "Ooh, how about this -- A Veterinary Assistant...you would work with kitties and puppies."

LP snorted in disgust. "But they would be ill -- they might defecate on me."

Dorotea rolled her eyes and poured the rest of the Skittles in her mouth. Her eyes warily scanned the ads until one popped out at her. She jumped up.

"This is it! And it's even on campus!" She pulled LP's hand. "Come on let's go and put your velvet scrunchie in."

~*~*~*~*~

Darry eyed the pile of Craftsmen tools sitting on her exam table. Granted, the tool belt did look nice slung around the "doctor's" waist, but these new DIY projects were becoming more and more grandiose and seriously cutting into quality shagging time.

"What are you doing now?" Darry asked, glancing up at the ladder that Cic was perched atop.

"You said to install this tele-whatever lens with the video equipment." He pulled the protective goggles back over his eyes and resumed drilling into the wall between the Clinic and Library. Then he stopped, lifted the goggles up into his shaggy hair, and scowled down at Darry. "You're not doing this to watch that Xanatos fellow, are you?"

Darry smiled and climbed partway up the ladder, running a hand up his calf. "Of course not… I only have eyes for you." She climbed up a little further and began massaging his thigh.

"I'm never going to get this finished, if you keep doing that," he smiled at her.

"Union rules stipulate that you must take a break every now and then," Darry purred, climbing a little higher, as was her hand.

~*~*~*~*~

"What do you suppose that crash was?" Kendra asked Ellie as they strode down the administration building hallway.

"I'm not even going to hazard a guess."

~*~*~*~*~

"An invasion!" shouted Commo jerking upright from the couch. He glanced around for his Ho, but she was not there. He vaguely remembered her saying something about visiting a friend in a dungeon somewhere. "Shana!" He called out, refusing to be left alone in a moment of crisis.

~*~*~*~*~

In the bar, the General lounged on the flash new mahogany wood. "Nice and smooth, Judith. Good purchase." Judy leaned over him, pushing her sweaty hair out of her eyes.

"I'm a careful consumer, General," she smiled.

"Among other things..." he said running a finger along her jawline.

Just then a momentous crash sent every bottle behind them on the mirrored shelves crashing to the floor below, filling the place with fumes and sticky liquid.

~*~*~*~*~

The entire supporting wall between the Library and Clinic had collapsed. This also caused the upper floor of the Clinic to collapse onto the ground floor.

~*~*~*~*~

Emmy sat on the prison van, crushed between to very big, sweaty women prisoners, shackles cutting her wrists were she used to wear diamond bracelets. "Laure had better be at the prison when I get back," Emmy muttered under her breath.

"Did you say something, little one?" One of the Big Bertha prisoners asked in a teasing, yet, gravelly voice.

Emmy closed her eyes and tried to think happy thoughts of the General, nekkid and wet.

~*~*~*~*~

Brenda looked up at the black-clad Librarian who was smiling sweetly, immediately making Brenda suspicious. With the Librarian was one of her EA's, the one she had resurrected, not the one that lived in fridge. Brenda stood up. "What do you need?" She asked warily.

LP reached for her hand, lifting it and gently kissing it. "M'lady I am here to help you."

Brenda frowned and snatched her hand away. "How can you help me?"

Dorotea held up the Help Wanted ad. "Pelham is perfect to be Director of Public Relations Pro Tem. He has extensive knowledge of the University and excellent people skills."

LP smiled winningly at her. Brenda sighed. There were over a hundred calls to return, and she and the General had to leave in fifteen minutes to give a presentation to prospective high-school students. She couldn't send the General alone...she didn't want to send the General alone, he was always so, um, moving at these presentations, Brenda wanted to be there to savor the moment.

Brenda stood up and grabbed the messages, handing them to LP. "You can use her office, just return these calls, sell the University, send out application packages only to those who sound serious. We're planning a tour of campus next week, if Emmy is back, you can invite them to that." Brenda piled more papers into LP's arms. "Here is the information on the tour and the er, new brochures. The General and I are visiting a school; I have to run. Don't burn down her office!"

Brenda rushed out of the office and LP looked at Dorotea. "Are you sure this isn't beneath me, M'lady?"

Dorotea led him into Emmy's office, locking the door behind them. She took the papers away from LP and tossed them on the floor. She sat on the edge of the desk and pulled LP to her, putting her hands on his waist. "Of course not. You are going to use your style and cultured personality to persuade people to part with their money. It's perfect for you. Anyway, the Diva does it. Would Emmy do anything demeaning?"

LP smiled. "True, she wears a tiara, so she must be nobility."

Dorotea grinned as she pulled LP in for a kiss. "But work can wait."

~*~*~*~*~

"Anything broken?" Darry asked pushing the ladder off herself.

"Nothing appears to be," Cicero replied from beside her, coughing from the dust.

"Then why don't we just stay here on the floor for awhile," the Nurse suggested. Cicero reached out his hand and held hers while Darry coughed the dust out of her lungs. They both just lay there in quiet shock for a time.

~*~*~*~*~

Laure, in her lacy summer sundress, fanned herself as she waited to have Emmy brought out to the Visitor's Room. Finally, the Diva was led out by a butch guard and pushed roughly in the direction of the thick Plexiglas wall separating the inmates from the visitors.

Laure looked at her. She looked pissed off. Well, no change there. She did look a little more hardened and had a cigarette stuck behind one ear.

Laure waved as Emmy morosely took a seat opposite and picked up the telephone receiver, holding it carefully between her thumb and index finger. God only knew what kind of personal hygiene was practiced by the others who might have been touching it.

"Nice of you to come visit. Where's Bobby?" Emmy growled into the phone.

"Ah, well you see, Bobby is unavailable at the moment." Laure said, fanning herself a little more vigorously.

"WHAT?" roared Emmy through the grubby prison phone and attracting the attention of the guard as well as Big Bertha.

"He's had to go to Louisiana to marry Julia Roberts, or something."

"He what?" Emmy looked incredulous.

"Some contract he had, I didn't really pay much attention; he called while I was golfing with the General..." a whimsical smile found its way to Laure's features. Emmy balled her fists until she realized how tightly she was gripping the phone.

"Don't worry," Laure replied, looking down at her watch. It was almost time for the RB's medication. "I'll call Lindsey."

Emmy fumed.

~*~*~*~*~*

Dorotea and LP walked back into the Library to see a dusty and winded Nurse and Cicero on the floor surrounded by the rubble of the collapsed wall.

"What happened to my wall?" Dorotea exclaimed.

"Just a little remodeling mishap," Darry explained, climbing out of the rubble and dusting off her Chanel robe.

Dorotea glared. "Cicero, why do you keep knocking my walls down? I need walls!"

Cicero shrugged apologetically and looked over at Darry. The Nurse pulled Cicero out of the rubble and began dusting him off. "Hey, you were the idiot who told him to drive your car last time! Don't worry, we'll have the miners fix it tomorrow," Darry said dissmissively.

"Don't worry? Don't worry?" The fuming Librarian ranted, lifting up a piece of wall to reveal a dented George Foreman grill. "It fell on all this crap from QVC. How am I going to return it now?"

Dorotea looked at the rubble, shaking her head. Shampoo leaked from bottles, looking like protoblood; smashed CD's protruding from their cases, the pocket fisherman was broken into tiny pieces.

Jen crawled out from under the desk. "What happened?" She asked, clutching her Pink Banana catalog.

LP helped Jen up. "The wall has fallen," he said, while eyeing her catalog. Jen promptly picked up her dust-covered Obi-Wan backpack and slid the catalog inside.

"It was sabatoged!" The Librarian said.

Darry rolled her eyes. "Jen, would you please go get Tasha and Mr. Vocab. Tasha is an architect, she can tell us how to rebuild it."

Jen nodded and scurried out of the library, brushing herself off as she went.

"This dust has made me thirsty," the Nurse said with a slight cough. She pointed to the fridge and elbowed Cicero. Then she retied her robe after noticing LP's eyes on her cleavage. Cic walked to the refrigerator. "And I'm hungry too, do you have any food here?" She asked the still irate Librarian.

LP began brushing and braiding Dorotea's hair, calming her. "Just Skittles," she said. "And I think they're under the wall."

Darry began rummaging through the rubble as Cicero said, "There does not appear to be any refreshments in the cold box, just a dead man."

Kai opened his eyes. "I hope you have a good reason for reanimating me. My protoblood is in low supply."

Dorotea yelped. "Close the door, you're letting all the cold air out! I'm saving his protoblood for something special."

LP shuddered. "Not the singing again," he moaned.

Cicero obediently closed the door and turned back to Darry. "Perhaps we could use the phone to order the round pies again."

LP pulled out his phone and hit the speed dial for Donato's. "M'lady, I need that little gold card with the numbers on it."

Dorotea's eyes narrowed, but she pulled out her gold card and reluctantly handed it to LP. "I want it back as soon as you hang up that phone," she said.

While LP ordered the pizza, Darry continued to sort through the rubble, finding an unbroken bottle of protoblood from the clinic. She smiled and put it in her pocket. That might come in handy.

Tasha walked into the library and surveyed the scene, shaking her head and tsk, tsking. Behind her, Mr Vocab stood with a clipboard and diligently wrote down her instructions.

"...and that's the last time Offworld oversees a construction project on this campus. Shoddy workmanship, substandard tools..." She and Vocab turned and walked off to shed to order in supplies and probably boink themselves stupid.

"Well, guess we'll be rooming here," Darry said.

"You what?" The Librarian asked, incredulous.

~*~*~*~

The burly guard gripped Emmy by the orange clad shoulder and pointed at the phone. "Time," she said loudly. "And go get your stuff. "You're moving into a new cell. Got too many people in today for all single room accommodation." Laure was already out the door and Emmy looked helplessly in that direction. "You'll be bunking with Bertha, here," said the guard, pointing at Emmy's new roomie.

~*~*~*~

Darry held up the bottle of the protoblood. "You want to keep the dead guy singing a bit longer?"

LP said, "No," as the Librarian lunged for the bottle.

"Yes," Dorotea said gleefully, holding the bottle to her chest. "You and Cic can sleep in the coffin. LP and I will sleep on the sofa."

"We will?" LP asked dryly.

"Yes, we will,"

The pizza arrived and everyone aside from Kai ate hungrily.

Then, as it got dark outside and the building stilled for the night, or rather, stilled as much as it was going to, Dorotea turned off the lights and settled in on the sofa. She motioned for LP to join her. He grudgingly did and she began to massage his head gently.

Darry and Cic climbed into the coffin. It was roomier than it looked from the outside, yet very cozy. They curled up together, whispering sweet nothings to each other.

Just as everyone was beginning to doze peacefully off to sleep, a deep voice began singing, "Valiyo A-O, A home va-ya-ray, Valiyo a-rah, Jerhum Brunnen-G"

LP moaned and buried his head in the Librarian's hair. The Librarian fell asleep with a big grin on her face.

"Oy..."

~*~*~*~*~

Emmy tried for the 100th time to get comfortable in the dark pit she now found herself. The air was stale and she was hungry, but "solitary" had to be safer than the alternative, and she had rather enjoyed setting fire to the toilet.

~*~*~*~*~

Xani crept into the Library, not even noticing the rubble, or the sleeping Librarian and Lord. He stalked by the dozing dead assassin and made his way to the coffin. Dorotea may not feel like a roll in the hay, but Pelham was sure to.

Lifting the lid, he found the Nurse and her servant snoozing peacefully. Hmmmm. Xani leaned down and ran his tongue along Darry's cheek.

"SCREWING AROUND SOMEONE IS!" Yoda's voice called from the next room.

Xani nearly toppled into the coffin as Cicero grabbed him by the hair and yanked his face away from Darry's. "Stay away from her!" Cic growled, eyes flashing.

The aria started up again. "Valiyo A-O..."

"What the fuck?" Dorotea shouted as she hastily turned on the lights.

"SCREWING AROUND SOMEONE IS!"

"Xani, I'm over here," LP called, pleased to see the Greysider. Xani turned and made to walk to the sofa, leaving a large chunk of hair in Cicero's hand.

"A home va-ya-ray..."

"Ahh, Pelham, there you are...." Xani sat down between Dorotea and LP, placing an arm around them both.

"SCREWING AROUND SOMEONE IS!"

Laure came skidding into the room. "What the hell is going on down here? My room is right above you, you know. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get Commo to sleep?" She was ignored.

"Xani, I've missed you," Dorotea purred as he stuck his tongue in her ear.

"SCREWING AROUND SOMEONE IS!"

"Valiyo a-rah..."

"Don't forget about me, Xani," LP said, tugging on Xani's tunic. Xani placed a hand on LP's thigh. Somewhere on Coruscant, the Wench came down with a spell of the vapours.

"Do you have any idea what a day I've had?" Laure bitched. "I even had to schedule an emergency session with Servo, because he saw you two boinking on Emmy's desk." She pointed to LP and Dorotea. "He was all a fluster."

"SCREWING AROU-"

Xani stopped his groping. "How did you manage that?" He asked.

Laure took a deep breath. "Emmy's in prison."

Everyone just stared at the Mediator. Then giggling came from the direction of the coffin. Guffawing came from the direction of the sofa. "Jerhum Brunnen-G!" came from the direction of the Brunnen-G.

"Maaaaarrvalous," said Xani, standing and walking toward the Library door. "I'll just go bail her out." He turned and looked back at the Library and its occupants. "By the way, I like what you've done with the place."