The siege begins-Day One:

Judy was busy in the backroom, relabeling all the General's ale to read 'Lite' with the bogus stickers Jael was churning out by the truckload. So Kendra was tending bar, granted no one was there, since alcohol was on the 'No' list, and fruit drinks weren't a big draw. And it still wasn't clear if the General would go for the 'Lite' stuff yet. Needless to say, Kendra leaned against the bar reading the latest edition of the Pink Banana catalogue as she munched happily from her bag of gummy fish.

The Frosh Ho was so wrapped up in the latest flavors of body paint she didn't notice the General walk into the bar and glance around at the empty seats, before spotting the illegal food item.

"Kendra, Kendra, Kendra..." the General tssked in shame as he now stood before the bar and grabbed the bag of gummy fish. "We're eating healthy, and this isn't healthy."

"What?" She said in utter shock. "It has fruit colors!"

"This is not good for you and it's not right to place such temptatio! n right in front of you either." He remarked as he went behind the bar to grab the other unopened bag of gummy fish from the top shelf, but was stopped abruptly by the Frosh Ho's death grip on the bag. "Please Kendra, it's for your own good," the General tried to sooth, but he could swear the girl's eyes flashed red. "They're mine! Don't make me do something you'll regret!" She snarled as he sighed loudly, then used the Force to nudge the bag from her hand before turning to leave. "Kendra dear, it's for your own good. Oh, and maybe you should lay off the edible body paints for a while too. And Kendra, I expect to see you for our morning jog." The General added as he left the bar with gummy fish in hand.

Judy came running out of the back room when she heard the sound of breaking glass and stopped dead in her tracks when she spied her Padawan throwing margarita glasses at the picture of the General on the far wall.

"Kendra!" Judy snapped loudly, getting the grrl to stop mid! throw. "What's going on?" She questioned with the voice of a calm police negotiator. "Why are you throwing things at the General's picture?"

"Cause he left before I could throw them at him!" Kendra shot back as Judy quickly grabbed the last remaining margarita glass. "He took my gummy fish! He freakin took them from my hand!"

"Ooohhh.... that's not good." Judy sighed with a wince knowing how her Padawan was addicted to the chewy candy.

"And then he said to lay off the edible body paint...the nerve of that man!"

"Kendra, we all agreed to go along with this little health kick he's having..." Judy calmly explained, "it will be over in a day, you'll see."

"Yeah, right!" Kendra groaned.

"Why don't you go to the clinic and get some more of your allergy medicine." The Master told her Padawan. "That will calm your nerves."

"Can't, Darry gave the General and I the last remaining dosage from the Temple, she's waiting for Galactic Fed Ex to arrive with a refill." The irate Ho explained.

"Well at least go back to your room and rest." Judy suggested as Kendra just took a deep breath and nodded in agreement before leaving. "Oh, this is going to be so, fun, just so fun, if we can't convince the General he's drop dead gorgeous soon, we'll be carting off Ho's like there's no tomorrow." She sighed as she started to clean up the broken glass.

Later that day:

Ellie tiptoed out of her dorm room, closing the door behind her with only a whisper of a sound. Kendra had finally fallen asleep. She napped each day now; it was the only way her immune system could keep up. Mo kept her room pristine. McCoy was not allowed in there, and for extra precaution she ran numerous air purifiers and humidifiers to help calm her allergies.

She had been suffering from a horrible sneezing fit when she'd returned from the bar. In between attacks she had relayed her encounter with the General. She seemed on the verge of tears at the idea of no more Swedish gummy fish. The General had even gone so far as to confiscate her Pink Banana catalogue. Mo had consoled her and gotten her to sleep. Ellie had finally won her argument with McCoy that it was time for a tiger nap, as well. Once she'd gotten her to lie down in the closet with Syd, they like to watch Voltron together, she'd decided to head out.

Ellie wasn't sure why the General was acting this way, but someone had better find out fast. She was running out of ways to dodge the morning jog. This Ho did not run, and the General couldn't seem to get that through his head.

Ellie continued tiptoeing her way down the hall and toward the clinic, then stopped dead in her tracks. 'Why was she still tiptoeing?' The Ho shook her head and resumed walking at her normal gait.

Before heading to the clinic, she made a side trip to the maze and plopped down on one of the benches. Reaching into her pocket she retrieved a cigarette and put it in her mouth. Holding it there, she fumbled through her khaki cargo shorts for her zippo. Man, why did these thing have to have so many flippin' pockets? So intent on her search, and then finally finding the darn thing, lighting her cigarette, the Ho did not hear the footsteps approaching.

Just as she began to draw on the cig and place the flame to the tip, a hand came from nowhere and grabbed the cigarette right from her mouth.

"Hey, what the hell?" Ellie protested and rose to her feet. Someone was going to pay. She stood and came almost face to face with a frowning General. Damn those Jedi reflexes.

"Now, this must be the worst of all! I'm ashamed. You know the campus is working to be healthier-eating healthier, exercising. And you're smoking! Well, that is something you will just have to give up." The General lectured, Ellie opened her mouth to object again, but he stopped her by placing a warm hand over her mouth. "It's for your own good." Kenobi leaned in and kissed the dumbfounded Ho on the forehead then headed off.

Ellie began to fume, then the reassuring thought that she had the whole remaining carton in her room calmed her down.

"And I'll be getting the rest of the carton from you shortly, so don't even think about it." The General added loudly as he walked away.

"Damn," Ellie said aloud and kicked at the wrought iron bench. "Ow!" She screamed as the pain arched through her foot as it connected with the metal. She would get him for this.

The Siege-Day two:

JenJen sat at the library counter, munching her extra cheesy popcorn and flipping through her Pink Banana catalogue. It was last month's issue and she reminded herself to get the latest one from Kendra later.

Deep in thought she was surprised at the melodious voice above her.

"What are you reading, my dear?"

Jen looked up at the General's piercing aqua eyes as he looked down at her.

"Just perusing for new toys for us to 'test' out." Jen answered through a mouth of popcorn.

The General peered down at the bag of offensive cheese and popped corn and scoffed at the frosh Ho.

"Didn't you read my memo of banned food?"

"Did you send it to the library?"

"Yes."

"Then no, Dorotea doesn't mess with little things such as the mail."

"Give me the popcorn and hand over the catalogue."

Jen clutched the bag protectively but began to hand him the magazine, she knew there was another edition under the counter.

"Hand over both copies."

Damn it, she hated when he did that. She handed him the catalogues but she would not sacrifice her cheese popcorn.

The General gave her the Look, then he gave her the Stance. The Ho swooned and dropped the bag. As the General snagged it and was about to give her a lecture on healthy living, he noticed the Ho licking her lips enticingly.

"You know, you really should get some extra exercise, it's good for the heart." The General said in a sultry tone and cocked an eyebrow.

The Librarian was out with LP looking at new cars, and Logan was off at Obedience School or something, she wasn't sure. And Xani, well, he was off trying to torture the Diva. JenJen knew she had the whole library empty for at least another hour.

The General caught the drift and the doors swung closed and locked under his skilled use of the Force.

*~*~*

Forty-five minutes later, the General was heading for the doors leading from the library. His clothes were rumpled and he stopped for a moment to straighten then before heading on his way.

Jen sat at the counter again, papers in disarray. At least now she knew what that desk could hold up to. She grinned girlishly as the General turned to blow her a kiss.

"Now remember, no Pink Banana, and no cheese popcorn. And be there bright and early tomorrow morning for our jog. Think healthy." He chimed then headed out the door.

The Ho groaned. This health kick had to end soon.

*~*~*

Ellie stood waiting outside the clinic, tapping her foot impatiently. If that damn delivery guy didn't show up soon she was going to hurt someone. She couldn't get the thought of cigarettes out of her head. She'd never been a heavy smoker, but now that she couldn't even do it minimally, it was all she could think about. She knew it was the fact that she didn't have one that irked her and made her crave it more than the actually craving for the nicotine.

Finally, she caught the faded blue of a Galactic Fed Ex shirt come whizzing around the corner.

"It's about friggin' time. I've had to listen to my roommate sneeze and complain all night and day. You were supposed to be hear yesterday."

"Yeah, we're overloaded since some nutcase decided to sue UPS. Are you Nurse Darry?" The acne faced, young guy said in a whiny voice. What, were all delivery guys graduates of WC? Geez, where do this idiots come from?

"No, I'm her assistant. I'll take them."

"Sorry, ma'am. These are prescription medications, I can't authorize signing them over to anyone but the name right here, and it says Nurse Darry."

"Ma'am? Look, pimple boy, you DO NOT want to toy with me right now. My system is crying for nicotine and I can't get any sleep due to a sneezing roommate. Now if you want to satisfy my craving with wanker blood, namely yours, be my guest. Now hand over the meds, and no one gets hurt." Ellie screamed as the boy shrunk away from her with every word.

He tossed the box to her and ran, not even waiting for any signature.

"Now, see wasn't that simple?" Ellie said aloud to the empty hallway. Now to get these to Kendra and the General before she really did draw blood.

Taking a deep breath and smoothing her hair and blouse, she headed off down the hallway.

Later that day:

Kymira was leaving Laure's office for the evening, bound and determined to not let this healthy lifestyle interfere with her evening plans. She was going to grab her secret stash of chocolate bars and kick back in the bar and relax.

As Ky walked towards the bar she began rummaging in her purse for the last two remaining chocolate bars she had. The General had even cleaned out the vending machines and put that fake waxy chocolate in there instead. So, with a gleam of triumph at finding her stash Ky made her way into the deserted bar and sat down.

"Hey, Ken get me a Long Island Ice Tea will you!" Kymira asked as she unwrapped her chocolate.

"There ya go!" Kendra said as she put the glass down before the other Ho and then walked away.

"What the hell? This isn't a Long Island, this is some herbal crap tea, and it's probably the instant stuff too." Ky sputtered as she placed the chocolate beside her and grabbed a napkin to wipe the taste from her lips. "Who ordered this mess?" She demanded as she noticed Kendra sucking on lime slices.

"Ask the man..." Kendra replied with a snarl as the General walked up behind Kymira.

"You're still upset about those candies?" The General asked in surprise as he gave Kendra the Look but it barely made her falter, obviously the power of gummy fish withdrawal he had greatly underestimated.

"Why do you ask?" The gummy fish addict said sweetly as she sat down and huffed.

"I'll make it up to you, you like water... why of course you like water, meet me in the pool tonight and we'll do whatever you want." The General purred as Kendra nearly collapse in the floor as visions of Wet!Obi sent her into hormonal shock. "Promise, tonight, you, me, pool and your hearts desire."

"Well, ok." Kendra sighed before answering the phone.

"Kymira love, you do realize this chocolate is very bad for you." The General said as he snatched the chocolate bars form the bar. "Why don't you try some trail mix or something," he suggested as he pulled a basket full of the stuff in front of her. Judy had changed from pretzels, peanuts, popcorn and nachos to trail mix and yogurt thingys that nobody really knew what they were.

"Oh you must be kidding, that's horse food." Kymira objected loudly as she tried to grab her candy bars from his hand, but he was too quick. "Look, first you cut me off from nutella, that's bad enough, now you take my chocolate...oh and then there's nothing but tea in my Long Island Ice Tea, what more do I have to give?" She ranted as she stood up and the General backed up.

"Kymira, it's for your own good," he sighed before kissing her cheek and hurriedly leaving the bar as the frosh plopped onto the barstool and screamed.

"Welcome to the 'it's for your own good' club" Kendra smirked, "atleast he didn't tell you to join him for daily torture sessions in the morning."

"Oh and Kymira, the morning jog starts at six tomorrow!" The General yelled back as he leaned around the corner.

"Oh my gawd! He is trying to kill us, isn't he?" Kymira groaned as she thumped her head against the bar chanting the words chocolate and nutella over and over again.

"Ah Ky, you ok?" Kendra asked with concern. "Ellie and I might have a plan, you grab Jen and meet us back at our room in an hour and we'll run it by you. Getting the General out of the way tonight might just work for us."

"Oh, no, why do I sense trouble..." Kymira sighed as she began to thump her head against the bar once more.