~*~
"What do you mean I'll have to sell my car, Tinman?" Cal was incredulous.

"I mean, that you're not gonna get to Coruscant with three dollars fifty-seven cents, a squeeze toy, and a ticket stub from 'Revenge of the Surfboarding Killer Bikini Vampire Girls", the 'bot said.

"Well, why didn't anyone tell us we had to leave Estrogen County?" Cal whined, twirling his braid.

"Because, dimwit, Darry isn't IN Estrogen County; she's on Coruscant and we need money to get there."

"Great. So, just charge the fares to HSU. The General won't mind." Cal was not parting with his car so easily, despite his adoration of the university president.

"We can't. He can't know where we're going," Crow spoke as if talking to a small child...or Bobo.

"Why not?" Jael asked.

"Because, number one- the General doesn't know she's gone. And two, we can't touch that money once it's in the HSU coffers. We'd have to explain the expense to the General and he can't know where that money is coming from."

"Why not?" asked Jael and Cal at the same time.

"Because-" Crow began.

"Grrr." An orange chiffon clad arm reached for the 'bot's elongated golden mouth.

"Mrrmmmphhh." Crow finished.

Cal eyed the Corellian pilot who had just quoted them a price for passage to Coruscant. "But why HIM?"

"Are you kidding?" Jael's eyes narrowed. "Why NOT him!"

"Bark, bark!"

~*~

"Diebin!"

Diebin was at the General's side in a New York second.

"When's my next appointment?" The General took off his sexy Armani-framed reading glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. The wailing of the Wench in his secretary's office had done in his nerves.

Tasha had finally gotten Dande returned to her room, convincing her that if the Mastah was indeed coming to be with her when she "delivered", he would be unlikely to look for her in the room next to the General's office. Of course Diebin had now used up all of her favours from Tasha for the next ten years, having sent Mr. Vocab with the rescue party.

The secretary consulted her ubiquitous schedule. Darry: three o'clock. "Uh...it looks as though you have couple of hours of free time."

"Good, because I've got a headache. I'm going to go over to the Clinic to get some aspirin, maybe say hi to Darry." He looked down at the glasses, the frames of which had been a birthday present from said Nurse. "I've not been treating her as well I should have lately."

Diebin moved toward the door, intending to block his path. "Ohmigosh!" The General stood, preparing for yet another crisis.

"What?"

"I made a mistake!" Diebin looked down again at the date book. "I'm scheduled for an appointment-right now. How 'bout we start with a nice scalp massage?" She slammed the General's office door before he could respond.

~*~

The gaggle of rescuers sat around the chesstable aboard the Millenium Falcon as the ship made it way (shakily) toward Coruscant.

"How the hell are we gonna find another seventeen thousand to pay for this trip when we get there?" Jael wondered aloud.

"We could start by selling that robot and Space Dog," Cal muttered.

"Bark, bark!"

Han Solo sauntered into the room and sat down in a chair by a control panel.   "We should be at Coruscant by 02:00. I expect to be paid by 02:30."

"Yeah, whatever, you walking bag of testosterone," Crow said under his breath. "We'll be running as fast as we can at 02:01."

"So where do we start looking once we get to Coruscant?" Jael asked Crow in an effort to stop the 'bot from continuing his current line of dialogue.

"I think we should probably begin at the top." Crow said.

"What, the tallest building?" Cal asked, sucking absently on the bedraggled braid at the side of his face.

"No, I mean the government," Crow qualified.

"Grrr."

"The Chancellor?" Jael asked, her eyes never leaving the scoundrel slouching in the chair on the opposite side of the room.

"Not yet," Crow said, glancing suspiciously at the gardener.

Before the 'bot could question the man in the frilly frock, the ship suddenly listed to the right, spilling everyone out from around the table and onto the floor. That is, all but Crow, who had seen enough Star Trek episodes to know that there's always one actor who screws up his blocking and lurches in the opposite direction to the rest of the cast. Crow fell to the left, and put a nice dent in his webbing when he hit the table.

"What the hell?" said Han, trying to remove his ankle from Jael's grasp. "Let me go and strap yourselves in; I'll see what this is all about." He raced out of the room in the direction of the cockpit, where a very disgruntled Wookee could be heard growling.

The ship continued to careen to the right.

"So who else doesn't think we're going to get to Coruscant by 02:00?" Crow deadpanned.

~*~

"You have reached the HSU clinic. At the sound of the tone, please leave your VISA or Mastercard number."

"Uh, hi Angel. I haven't heard back from you in awhile...or at all really, and now I think I know why. I kinda followed you the other day and saw you get into a taxi. So, I kinda followed the taxi and I found out where you were going. Then I kinda followed you there...er...here, that is. But I can't find you here, so I'm taking a chance that maybe you've gone back home and you're there now or at least checking your messages. I'm not sure I like Coruscant. It's kinda big, and there's some creepy guys in robes following me around with weird looks on their faces. And I really miss my mom. BEEP"

~*~

"Oy veh."

"A problem, my dear?"

Darry clicked off her cell phone and took the proffered martini from the waiter's tray. She settled herself back on the lounge chair and turned her face toward the hazy Coruscant sun.

"Not yet,"

~*~

"I don't believe this," Crow said for the umpteenth time.

"Shut up, Goldenrod, or I'll use you for parts," Han snarled.

"Of all places to be marooned," Cal moaned, and shivered as the paperclip holding his braid to his head conducted the ambient temperature of their surrounding environment.

"Bark, bark!"

"No kidding Space Dog; I'm freezing." Jael huddled in a corner of the ship and tried to keep her teeth from chattering.

Cal had his JC Penny ™ Jedi Robe wrapped around him, Mr. Vocab produced a similar black one from somewhere, Space Dog had fur, and Crow was immune to temperature. But poor Jael only had on her "Property of HSU Art Department" T-shirt; the one that was a total rip-off of Edvard Munch's "The Cry". The back of which read: "How most of the HSU Art Department feels."

Han looked over at her and shook his head. "Chewie! Grab those thermals from the storage compartment and give them to our passenger here."

The Wookee returned with a little white number that seemed vaguely familiar to Jael. She thanked the co-pilot and pulled on the jacket, leggings and padded vest.

Well, I'm warmer, she thought, but I'm still stranded on Hoth with my canine companion, a neurotic 'bot, a scoundrel, an ape-man, a sad excuse for a Padawan, and a tattooed weirdo.

~*~

Ban walked out of the General's office, smile plastered across her face. Thanks to some clever logistical work, Diebin had managed to keep the General so "busy" that he had yet to notice Darry's absence or closure of the Clinic.

Just as Ban walked out through Diebin's door, Caeryn walked in. Diebin motioned with her pen toward the General's door.

Diebin was tired. She hadn't slept in almost two days in her distraction attempts. And there was no news yet of the rescue party. She dialed Shana and Emmy.

"I need to see you two immediately."

Forty-five minutes later, the two came in.

"Thanks for your promptness..." Diebin scowled. Shana and Emmy just looked at each other. "I need your help. We have a problem."

A loud crash came from the adjoining office followed by a girlish giggle. "General, are you ok?" Caeryn laughed over the giggle.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I never liked that chair anyway."

"Just ignore them," Diebin instructed Shana and Emmy, both easily distracted. "I need you two to go on...a...rescue mission of sorts." Maybe Diebin was making a mistake.

"Great!" Shana enthused. "What are we rescuing? Margaritas?"

"No," Diebin sighed. "I sent Judy on that one. I need you to rescue...a...rescue party."

"Huh?" Emmy looked confused, but that was nothing new.

"Okay, just listen and I'll lay it out for you."

~*~

Three hours and nine explanations later, Shana and Emmy finally embarked on their journey. Diebin was glad she had told Sere and Julia that she'd accompany them to Wangers that evening. She needed several strong drinks.

Her door banged open and Tasha stormed in, dragging in Dande.

"That's it, Diebin," Tasha ranted. "She's back on the 'Titanic' track and keeps threatening to start into labour again. I've had it. After sending away-" Tasha dramatically lowered her voice and stage whispered "you-know-who", then continued shouting "and then dumping Dande on me, you're now my number one persona non-grata." She hurled Dande toward Diebin and stormed through to the General's office for her appointment.

Dande gracefully settled herself onto Diebin's couch and assumed a Mona Lisa pose. Diebin slumped forward across her desk and rested her head in her hands.

"Calgon, take me away..." Diebin moaned under her breath.

Dande sat up sharply. "Did you say something?"

END