TAKE THE DAD TEST

1. Mom calls to say she won't be home in time to make dinner. He:

• fires up the grill and makes his famous barbecued chicken.
• breaks out the chips to curb everyone's hunger pangs until she gets home.
• call for a pizza; it covers all four food groups.

 

2. His daughter loves to play basketball, but there's no girls basketball team at her school. He:

• helps her practice for the tennis team tryouts.
• volunteers to be a coach and help his daughter write up a proposal to start a girls' team.
• sets up a hoop in the driveway and challenges her to a game of one-on-one.

 

3. The school nurse calls his office to tell him that his son is sick. He:

• grabs his briefcase, laptop and cell phone, resolving to finish work as soon as they get home.
• reschedules a few meetings and leaves the briefcase behind, deciding to get an early start in the morning.
• gives the caller his wife's work number; only a mother's touch will do.

 

4. His son is having trouble learning to read. He:

• hires a private tutor; his son just needs some individualized instruction.
• schedules a meeting with his son's teacher.
• reads a book with his son every night before bedtime.

 

5. His teenager seems troubled and has been locking himself in his room every night. He:

• searches his room for some answers; if he's in trouble, he'd like to know about it.
• tells him he can talk to him about anything, then waits for him to come around.
• ignores it; he was the same way when he was a teenager.

 

6. His son is dying for a Nintendo set for his birthday, but he simply can't afford it. He:

• offers to pay for half of the set and help his son think of ways to earn the other half; it will teach him to be responsible.
• buys him a football; those video games will only rot his brain, anyway.
• "borrows" some money from the college fund; he just can't disappoint him, and he'll replace the money later.

 

7. His daughter has a dance recital on the day of the big game (NCAA playoffs, World Series, Stanley Cup, Super Bowl). He:

• goes to the recital, but with a scowl on his face and a transistor radio in his coat pocket.
• parks himself on the couch, beer in hand, for a much-deserved day alone. There will be other recitals, other years.
• sets the VCR for the game and puts fresh batteries in the camera to preserve the little darling's triumph on film.

 

8. Does he know the color of his child's eyes?

• No
• Yes
• He's pretty sure

 

9. Does he know the name of his child's teacher?

• Miss....uh....um....
• Of course
• No

 

10. Can he name his child's favorite foods?

• Yes
• No
• Well, he knows asparagus is out

 

11. Does he know whether his child has any allergies, and what they are?

• No
• He doesn't think she has any
• Absolutely

 

12. Can he braid his daughter's hair?

• Are you kidding?
• Piece of cake
• Sure, but the results aren't pretty

 

13. Does he know his child's birthday?

• July 10… or is that his wedding anniversary?
• No, but his wife will remind him
• Of course he does