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(1958)
Director: Irvin S. Yeaworth
Starring: Steve McQueen, Aneta Corseaut, Earl Rowe |
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Y'know....this flick terrified me as a child. Silly, I guess, to fear a big mass of raspberry jam..... |
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...just the thought of something which it's entire mindless existence is to consume scared the willies outta me as a small tyke. I had nightmares about the shapeless monster for months after a late night viewing as a child. Repetitive bad dreams about being trapped in the diner that the Blob gobbles up near the climax of the film.
'Course, I was frightened terribly by the cartoon spokeman for Mister Clean household cleaner, as well. To the point of hiding and screaming whenever one of the commercials came on.
Hey....I'm sure yer childhood was f*cked up as well. Think about it: Big burly bald guy with an earring just shows up one morning in the kitchen watching yer mom wax the floors...appears outta nowhere and doesn't say anything. Creepsville, daddy-o....
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The Plot: Essentially a take-off on the Lovecraft story "The Colour Out of Space", we open on a starry night in which Steve (Steve McQueen, in his first role) and his best girl are parked out on Lover's Lane making comment on a shooting star (FORESHADOWING!), when we cut to a farm house occupied by a crotchety old coot investigating a meteor that crashed on his land.
Like most intelligent folks, I'd be on the horn with the local authorities and my insurence agent seeing if I could get any cash outta this event (I wonder if there's a home owner policy that covers "space rock damage"?). What's Old Coot do?
Pokes at it with a stick.
Clearly, his brilliant deductive mind wasn't put off at all by all the alien jelly spilling out of it. F*ck that. I've seen enough bad sci-fi to know when the space rocks fall from the sky, ya board yerself up in the house, contact NASA and/or the army, and arm yourself against creature/alien goop/ re-animated dead attack. Or, at least close off that particular area of your property and let the next owners or yer descendants worry about it. Ya don't go pokin' at it....ya might provoke something that's gonna eat you or use yer body as a host for it's alien love child. It's just common sense.
What? Why are ya lookin' at me that way?
McQueen (the second oldest teenager in the universe...Archie Andrews has the distiction of being the first) stumbles onto the old |
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codger, post- Blob consumption process beginning, and takes him to the local doctor, who ends up Blob bait as well. Steve witnesses the doctor's consumption, but being a "wacky juvie" teenager, the authority's fail to believe his tale of alien horror. Actually, I think it took the majority of their suspension of disbelief to buy the idea that McQueen (who was 30-ish at the time) is a teenager. After rallying all of his teenage buddies to his anti- space monster crusade, McQueen finally convinces the local authorities of his claims...only after becoming trapped in a diner covered with Blob.... |
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Aren't you a little old for her, Mr. McQueen? |
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After discovering CO2 fire extinguisher keep the strawberry syrup creepy-crawlie away, Steve and his fellow captives escape, and we end with the Mass with the Most being dropped off by the Air Force in the frozen wastes of the Antartic.
The End?
A fun sci-fi horror romp that propelled McQueen into stardom...and gave Smuckers a bad name. Recommended to anyone with a hatred for space taffy.... |
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"By cracky...if'n this ain't the damnest thing I ever did see, I tells ya...." |
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