Disclaimer:
This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK
Rowling,
various publishers
including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast
Books, and
Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark
infringement
is intended.
Author's
Note: Please R/R! Reviews keep me inspired, so I write more fics. I
really like D/H, but
I don't write
about them all the time, have no fear of that. But anyway, please review.
Constructive
criticism,
ideas, anything's welcome. Even flames, as long as you have a reason. If
you don't like
this fic be
sure to tell me why.
Subtitle: Dear Diary
Unless a Miracle Happens
by
Jhess Mrya
Dear Diary,
I know you
probably think I am a fool. It’s just that ... there’s this torrent
of emotions in here,
about several
different people.
Do you remember,
diary, about Ron in my fifth year? Nothing came of it ... he ended up smitten
with Parvati
Patil, who, after giving up on Harry, decided to go for Ron. Irony, no?
Maybe
something
might have come if I'd told him what I felt ... but, no, I couldn't bring
myself to say it.
And still,
now, two years later, there's still a pain. Less of it, but it still hurts
whenever I think about
it.
And then last
year, my sixth ... when I fell in love with Harry. He'd gotten over Cho
by then, who,
he realized,
would always love Cedric, and he, being Harry, did not want to love someone
who
loved someone
else. As he confided in me more and more, I realized that he did not love
me like
that
and never would. He seemed, indeed, to simply regard me as a very close
friend. I was
heartbroken
over this. He fell for Lavender ... Seamus had gone for some Ravenclaw
girl, so it had
been all right.
There's always this ache in my heart, diary ... I know it's because of
Harry. I hate it,
but I don't
want it to go away. Harry never spends any time with me anymore, diary
... he's always
with Lavender
... calls her "Lavy", you know.
This year, my last year ... I'm Head Girl, Malfoy's Head Boy ...
Harry, who
was originally chosen, resigned so he could spend more time with "Lavy".
Snape
probably bribed
Professor McGonagall, you know, so Draco could get the spot. I have to
be with
him all the
time! And sometimes, I catch him looking at me in an awfully queer way
... Dear Diary,
why does heartache
always have to happen to me? And my life's getting worse and worse as time
passes on.
Am I under a curse? Because, yesterday ...
Yesterday I fell in love with Draco Malfoy.
I know what
you're thinking. Draco Malfoy? The one who hates you, Ron, and Harry?
But, oh
diary, I don't
think he really hates me. Look at his father ... how cruel he is. I've
been stuck with
Malfoy long
enough to know he's not as bad as his father. All the times when he came
over to Ron,
Harry, and
I, insulting us ... I always saw something flickering in his eyes. It's
like he wears a mask
and when he
comes over and insults me, calls me a Mudblood, I can see something strange
in his
eyes. Like
he's losing his control. I don't know if he likes me, diary, I don't dare
hope it. If I do, I
just know
my heart will get broken again, I just know it. I don't think I'm
strong enough to handle
another
heartbreak, diary, I'll go insane.
Harry, Ron
... my best friends ... Or rather, my ex-best friends. They're too
busy with their
girlfriends
now to mind me. Oh, I know they feel sorry for me. Probably thinking, poor
Hermione,
she doesn't
have a guy, before forgetting about me to make out with their girlfriends.
But ... I ...
Draco keeps
running through my head. In my dreams, in my thoughts, in real life. I
keep on seeing
him everywhere.
Wherever I turn, wherever I walk, there he is. I look at him, and he looks
back.
Of course,
the way he looks back, you can never be sure if he's looking at me, or
at some portrait
behind me
or some girl next to me or maybe he's gay and he's looking at Harry or--
Sorry. My quill
snapped, I was writing so fast and so hard. Of course he's not gay. I just
... I know
I'm going
to go crazy if I don't at least tell him I love him. But with these circumstances
... enemy
houses, enemy
people. His father would never let him. Draco would get betrothed to Pansy
Parkinson,
probably, and they'll have tons of little pug-children. Harry and Ron would
be disgusted.
I don't even
know if Draco, if he did like me, would be brave enough to admit it, even
if I told him I
my feelings
first. It's like ... this torrent of emotions inside my heart, this whirlwind
-
I'm sorry.
I was trying not to cry. Ever since I discovered I loved Draco Malfoy I
promised myself
I wouldn't
cry or break down. Seems as if I can't stop myself from going insane.
Just yesterday,
when I discovered I loved him, me and him were waiting in Dumbledore's
office for
our reports
as Head Boy and Girl. I, accidentally, dropped a quill I had been toying
with. I'd
purposely
been toying with it to take my mind off Draco sitting next to me, so close
I could feel his
breath. So
acutely aware of him. He bent down to retrieve it just as I did, our hands
brushing. It
was as if
a jolt of electricity shot up through my arm. "Sorry," he mumbled, pink
spots appearing on
his cheek.
"It's okay," I said. He opened his eyes and I saw something ... funny,
not exactly the right
word, but,
well, funny ... going on in his eyes. We were staring at each other and
then, it clicked in
my mind-I
loved him. Just then Dumbledore entered the room, so I quickly turned to
my book bag
to take out
my report. So did he.
When I left, I noticed the quill was still there. On the floor.
Diary, if this
leads to heartbreak, I know I'll go insane. Maybe, ten years from now,
Ron or Harry's
children will
come and visit me once a year at St. Mungo's Hospital. I can just imagine
that. "That's
Hermione Granger.
She was once me and Uncle Ron/Harry's best childhood friend." "Why is she
in
there?" one
of their children will ask. "We will never know," Harry/Ron will say. "I
think it had
something
to do with heartbreak, but we didn't keep close contact in the last few
years. Too busy
with your
mum." He'll chuck the child gently underneath the chin, she/he'll grin,
and they'll leave.
Something
like that.
Even Professor
McGonagall noticed something was amiss with me. "Anything wrong, Miss
Granger?"
she had asked. I, of course, denied anything. But, oh, I know this will
never work. Just
think- me,
Hermione Granger, and Draco, Draco Malfoy. How have I been reduced
to this?
Unless some
sort of miracle happens, I will just be stuck loving him. I have a feeling
this will not
fade. I'll
wake up one morning, read the Daily Prophet, and spot his wedding
announcement with
a picture.
Later, maybe I'll find one of his children in the Births section.
Then I'll explode and get
shipped off
to St. Mungo's. Unless a miracle happens, I'll just sit here, waiting for
that day, trying
not to cry,
trying to hold myself together, thinking of him. Him. Diary, you tell me,
how did this
come to be?
--Hermione
Granger
A/N:
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Especially
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