Author’s Note: Hi there. Sorry this one has taken so long, but I was searching for the right song and then this one
came into my mind and I thought this one was perfect. Also, New Faces, Old Problems has hit a snag. I’m kinda
stuck on it. It’s funny because I’ve actually planned out the chapter, but it just won’t get written. And after today,
there’s no time for writing because I’ve got a whole pile of work to do. Sorry, maybe next week.

Anyway, this is a continuation of Puzzle Of My Heart. I’ve changed my preference, so you’re going to have to wait
and see.

If Leaving Me Is So Easy

by Inspiring Author
 
 

Chapter 4
In Too Deep
 

Draco and Hermione arrived at the hotel, preparing to sustain their love for each other. They
booked a room and went up immediately.

Hermione was ecstatic, excited that the day had finally come where she and Draco would find
each other and make love until they couldn’t anymore. She was feeling slightly guilty about Harry,
but she was aching for Draco so badly, she threw caution to the wind, and prepared to make
love to the man she truly wanted and loved.

Draco was the one having second thoughts. He kept visualising him and Hermione making love,
consummating their love like so many years before, but all he kept seeing was his wife and daughter,
smiling at him with love. He was beginning to get guilt, such he’d never thought possible, and he
wasn’t good with guilt. But what right did he have to hurt them by having an affair? What right did
he have to hurt himself by having an affair? And besides, Hermione wasn’t going to last with this.
This was going to be the only opportunity he would ever have with being with her. He couldn’t
blow it, could he?

Sighing he turned to Hermione and watched her in the lift.

Just as beautiful as I remember, he thought, smiling wistfully. I just wish I hadn’t married. I wish
I could take back so many things.

Hermione noticed him staring. “What are you thinking about?” she laughed, noting his surprise.

“Just wondering why you’re so beautiful, yet not up with the other angels,” he said sincerely. Just
like my wife, she’s beautiful too, and much too good for me.

“You always did have a way with words,” Hermione sighed, glad when the lift opened.

They found their room quickly and went in.

It was a beautiful room, and Hermione realised it was the honeymoon suite. They obviously
thought we were married. She giggled at the thought of Draco marrying her. Then she, Draco
and Wat could live happily ever after. Wat…she thought, stopping and thinking of her little boy
who would probably be causing all kinds of mischief with Sirius. She dismissed the thought;
still the nagging consideration kept gnawing at her mind.

They met in the centre of the room, kissing, passion meeting passion in a battle for dominance.
They fell on the bed, becoming tangled in each other’s arms.
 

All that time I was searching, nowhere to run to, it started me thinking,
Wondering what I could make of my life, who'd be waiting,
Asking all kinds of questions, to myself, but never finding the answers,
 

I felt warm in Hermione’s, safe in the fact I was with the woman I loved, but something still
felt wrong. It was the guilt again, making me nauseous. I kept seeing pictures of my daughter
Hermione, crying for me, while Annabelle walked out of my life forever, taking everything
precious to me with her.

This felt wrong, Hermione and me. I mean I’d waited my whole life for her to take me back,
but what I’d really done was lost sight of what had really happened. Hermione had hurt me
deeply by leaving me, without a word, but I had still felt I had done something, when I was
innocent. It was Hermione.

I remember feeling I would never get back on my feet, feeling so insecure, sure no one would
ever love me again, but then Annabelle had come along and made everything better, given me
a reason to live again. Hermione too, my little girl who I loved with all my heart. They didn’t
have to love me, and I wondered for a long time why they did, and I never did find the answer.
It certainly wasn’t by doing this…
 

Crying at the top of my voice, no one listening,
All this time, I still remember everything you said
There's so much you promised, how could I ever forget.
 

I froze, just thinking about when Hermione had left me. She had made into a wreck, crying and
moaning, wishing she would come back to me, yet she couldn’t have loved me, I realised, if she
left me. I didn’t leave her.

Annabelle hadn’t hurt me like Hermione did, she had helped me up and married me, despite the
fact I was infatuated with Hermione…that’s all it was infatuation. And outside the pub was just
the need I thought I had.

You’re lying, my brain told me. You do love her. Of course, I do, but what I was doing was
infatuation, and I was hurting people I loved by holding on. I should let go, for my sake and
Hermione’s.

“Draco,” Hermione said, looking at me with her beautiful eyes. Such beautiful eyes. “What are
you thinking about?”

“Us? And the promises we made to each other.”

“Really?”

“I was just remembering when you told me you’d love me forever and never part from me. It
was a lie Hermione…”
 

Listen, you know I love you, but I just can't take this,
You know I love you, but I'm playing for keeps,
Although I need you, I'm not gonna make this,
You know I want to, but I'm in too deep.
 

She looked stunned, and I was stunned I had said it out loud. But now I had started, I wasn’t
going to stop.

I slid off the bed and moved to the desk where I sat in the chair. “Love,” I said seriously. “I’m
sorry I hurt you a second ago, but this needs to be said. I love you Hermione…”

“And I love you.”

“I know you do, but love isn’t enough. I only wish it was. I can’t do this on love alone.”

“Do what?”

“Make love to you. I don’t love you enough for this to work. I thought I could but I can’t. I
want this to be permanent, but I don’t want to be with you. It’s confusing.”

“Draco?”

“I mean, I want to make love to you and tell you how I ‘m feeling…”

“Why not?”

“Annabelle.”
 

So listen, listen to me,
You must believe me,
I can feel your eyes go thru me,
But I don't know why.
 

“Annabelle?”

“My wife,” I said, smiling at the thought of my beautiful wife, the woman I was going to give up
for Hermione.

Hermione’s look turned sad and she stared at me with a mournful look. It chilled me right through.
She looked so sad and lost, hurt and bewildered. I must’ve looked like that when she left me.

“Don’t you love me Draco?”

“Of course. Believe me.”

“Then why don’t you want me?”
 

I know you're going, but I can't believe it's the way that you're leaving,
It's like we never knew each other at all, it may be my fault,
I gave you too many reasons, being alone, when I didn't want to
 

“Hermione…”

“No!” she said suddenly, getting up and straightening her clothing. “Don’t tell me, Draco.
How can I listen to you tell me how you want to be loyal, when I so badly need you. I might
as well leave!”

She started towards the door and I sat there in shocked. This wasn’t the Hermione I thought
I knew. Maybe deep down, she was afraid of getting hurt by me. Maybe she wanted to be
loyal too, just didn’t want to say so.

Quickly, I ran to her and held her, not wanting her to leave with this unresolved. We needed
to talk, rather then part being complete strangers.

“I’m sorry, that was horrible of me,” she whispered, pressing herself against me, wanting to
be comforted. I held her, needing to feel some comfort too.
 

I thought you'd always be there, I almost believed you,
All this time, I still remember everything you said,
There’s so much you promised, how could I ever forget.
 

“I want to love you,” she whispered. “And I do.”

“Then why did you leave me so long ago?” I whispered, feeling the harshness I held in my
voice. “And the truth this time.”

“Well…” she said meekly, and I could tell she was going to cry if I didn’t sit her down and
try to act kinder. I led to the bed and sat her down.

“Go on,” I coaxed.

“Well, I was frightened. We were eighteen, kids really, and we wanted to settle down and
start a family. But I could see the future and I saw that we would kill each other if we stayed
together. I mean we’re possessive and obsessive and jealously was already threatening us.
I didn’t want to hurt you,” she finished lamely.

“Hurt me!” I exploded. “And you didn’t think leaving me and marrying Potter wouldn’t hurt
me! I was in despair Hermione! I wanted to die I was so alone. Didn’t you care at all?”

“Of course I cared!” Hermione shrieked. “I cared enough to know that the best way to stop
hurting you was to leave before you ended up hating me.” She started crying again, but I
didn’t comfort her. Her words were echoing round my head. She didn’t want to hurt me?
 

Listen, you know I love you, but I just can't take this,
You know I love you, but I'm playing for keeps,
Although I need you, I'm not gonna make this,
You know I want to, but I'm in too deep.
 

“I love you,” she whispered, putting her thumb to my lips and rubbing them gently, trying
to stir back some warmth into them. “Hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do, but I
couldn’t take watching us fight and argue. What kind of life is that?”

“One I wanted a choice in,” I said angrily, moving my head so she couldn’t touch. “You
had no right to do what you did. I deserved considering. I loved you and I wanted to stay
with you, but didn’t that count.”

“Of course,” she said, turning my head back. “You wouldn’t believe how when I was
holding Harry, I wished it was you. That we could be a happy family, but I knew we wouldn’t
stand against the throes of time.”

“And now we don’t have a choice,” I said bitterly, not able to meet her eyes. “We’ve both
got families who we love. We can’t go back, even if we wanted to, and I do want to…”

“But, we can’t,” Hermione said, leaning forwards and letting me embrace her again.
 

So listen, listen to me,
I can feel your eyes go thru me
 

“Listen,” she whispered. “I know we can never be together, not now, but I’ll always remember
this moment, where I can feel your heartbeat.

I felt her press her face into my chest, and I felt her eyes bore through me. “Yeah,” I whispered.
 

It seems I've spent too long
Only thinking about myself
Now I want to spend my life
Just caring bout somebody else.
 

I felt her pull away and we kissed for the very last time, and suddenly it truly felt like the end…
our romance had ended. Some would say it had never begun, but we knew different.

Now I knew what I had to do, I had to stop thinking about myself and take care of Annabelle
and Hermione. They needed me to be strong and take care of them, even though I had been
doing it poorly for the past couple of years. I was going to be there for them, not because I had
to, because I truly wanted to.

Hermione felt the same and I knew it from the determined look in her eyes. We were going to
be happy, no matter what even if wasn’t together…
 

Listen, you know I love you, but I just can't take this,
You know I love you, but I'm playing for keeps,
Although I need you, I'm not gonna make this,
You know I want to, but I'm in too deep.
 

We stood up as one and pulled away from the kiss.

“Just remember I love you,” Hermione whispered.

“I will. And I love you too.”

She smiled, her first one since we got here. I grinned back, and for an instant it was like we
were teenagers again, but now we were more mature teenagers, and we had made the one
decision we knew we wanted…
 
 

Draco drove Hermione home, smiling as he thought of Hermione, waiting for him to get back.
She would probably be singing some Celine Dion song with Annabelle doing the backing vocals.

“You really love your daughter, don’t you?” Hermione asked smiling.

“Yeah. She’s perfect,” Draco laughed. “A little bad at singing.”

“My son’s something special too. Well, he was named after the leader of the peasant’s revolt,”
she laughed, remembering the day Harry had bent over and picked the name from the history
book she was reading.

Draco smiled as they reached Hermione’s home. She opened the door and began to get out.
Draco halted her and leant over and kissed on the cheek. “Thanks for everything, Hermione,”
he whispered.

She nodded and got out.

As he drove away, she waved to him, before going in to save Sirius from Wat.

“Mummy!” Wat cried, jumping into his mother’s arms and hugging her.

“Hi sweetie! Has Uncle Sirius been taking good care of you?”

“Yeah, he told me stories about my grandpa…”

Hermione smiled as she listened to her son rattle off the list of activities. It was good to be home…
 
 

“Hermione,” Draco laughed, scooping up his daughter and twirling her around. She giggled and
kissed her daddy. I must be the luckiest man in the world, he thought as he walked into the lounge
where his wife was sitting, reading.

He put Hermione down and picked up his wife.

“Draco!” she laughed, and sighed when he leant in and kissed her deeply. “What was that for?”

“For helping me to realise what I was missing out on,” he smiled jauntily. “And to say we’re going
on holiday!”

“Yay!” Hermione cried.

“Where to?”

“How about a trip to the countryside? We’ll rent a cottage and see the beauty of nature.”

“Until you give up and go to a classy hotel,” Annabelle laughed, teasing her husband. She took
a serious look. “Draco, I think a holiday will be good. I’ll need the fresh air, cause I’m going to
be feeling ill for the next couple of months.”

“Why?”

“I’m pregnant.”

“That’s brilliant!” Draco yelled, twirling around his wife, and laughing, with Hermione running
around whooping.

Luckiest man in the world, Draco thought again, before kissing Annabelle again…and a chance
to start anew.
 
 
 

Author’s Note: There, again with the crapiness. Read the top author’s note for New Faces, Old Problems
info. Why Do I have To Feel this Way will be out next week. That’s all I think. Enjoy the story.

I.A.

P.S. Sorry about grammar.
 

Back to Chapter 3