Who cares for me passionately
With every thought
And every breath
Someone who'll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I don't want to be tied
To anyone with strings
I've carefully tried
To steer clear of those thing
And when I will sleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
-Depeche Mode
During our phone calls we talked about everything from what was going on in our lives and "we all’s" lives, to current events and our opinions on world issues. One of the things that I admired about Justin was not only that he had firm, informed opinions, but that he was very vocal and felt strongly. So many people in my life back down on their opinions when they find out that mine are different. Justin holds strong and never backs down. A lot of people don’t like that, but I both admire and respect it.
Our conversations were also making me open up with him more and more as the days passed. I had yet to tell him that I loved him with those three little words, but in my opinion I had expressed it in other ways and I hoped he understood that saying it for the first time while we were on the phone seemed so wrong to me. Saying you love someone for the first time over the phone is like saying it to someone when they’re walking away. You don’t have to see the immediate reaction, so it’s not as scary.
I have to admit at that point I was tired of taking the safe route when it came to my emotions. The safe route never helped when it came to Justin. As a matter of fact, taking the safe route had almost cost me my relationship with him completely. So I was preparing myself to take chances with him and trust him.
Not an easy task when you’ve had the life I had, everyone I had ever trusted had let me down in some huge way. I can’t really remember exactly when I stopped letting people in, probably sometime during my childhood, even though with Mikey, Debbie, and Lindsay I had made exceptions.
So, now that I was giving up the safe route and taking a chance at letting Justin in, I was planning a grand gesture in classic Brian Kinney fashion. It was a little strange to me to plan a grand dramatic gesture when it wasn’t to push someone away. Never had a I planned something like this to bring someone closer to me.
Oh, the things that boy made me do.
So I walked off the plane, looking for the familiar blond head. It barely took me a moment to find him. It was like I was drawn to him, I suppose I always had been. He was standing waiting for me, a big "Sunshine" smile on his face. I felt my heart swell and found myself smiling brightly back at him.
Our reunion reminded me of some stupid old movie where the estranged couple run to each other, dropping their bags, throw their arms around each other and hold on for dear life. I surprised myself, however, by not caring too much about the opinions of the people around me. All I cared about at that moment was feeling Justin in my arms again.
"How was your flight?" He asked.
"It was alright." I shrugged. "I couldn’t wait to get here though, so it felt like the
longest flight ever." I grinned and threw my arm around him while grabbing my small suitcase with the other and leading him towards the exit.
"Is that all you brought?" He asked, eyeing the small bag. He was very perceptive.
"I have a closet full of clothes at the office." I admitted. "I hate packing for business trips, so I just bought a bunch of new suits, and bought some clothes to wear to the clubs and left it all there."
"Why don’t they just get you a place here?" Justin asked.
"We’ve been talking about it." I told him as we climbed into a cab. "But I can’t relocate here completely, Gus needs me."
"When did you turn into such a great father?" Justin asked teasingly, kissing my cheek.
"Is that all I get? A kiss on the cheek?" I asked, not wanting to get into a discussion about relocating at the moment.
"Mmmm. No, you get more than that." Justin smiled and molded his lips to mine. We kissed for long moments before the cab driver grunted and asked us where we needed to go.
***
"Nice place." I said looking around Justin’s industrial looking loft. It was huge and very artistic. Half of the main floor was Justin’s studio space, separated only by a couple of Shoji screens that were splattered with paint. There was canvases all over the place, some painted, some blank. There was a big steel cabinet that I assumed held his paints. On the other side of the room was a sitting area with big overstuffed chairs, a matching sofa, and an oddly shaped coffee table. In the corner was a big black TV cabinet that held the TV, stereo, VCR, and DVD player. Right near the door was the kitchen. "How did you find it?"
"This guy I know from the gallery found it for me a couple of months ago. Before that I was living in a shitty bachelor apartment." Justin walked up behind me and slipped his hand into mine. "Let me show you the rest."
He led me up a steel spiral staircase towards the middle of the room and I found myself in the bedroom. There was a skylight right above the huge bed in the center of the room. At the far end of the room there was an open washroom, only the toilet shielded by another Shoji screen.
"There’s another bathroom downstairs. This is my private one." Justin explained. Also in the bedroom space was another sitting area, this one more intimate. There was a comfortable chaise in the corner surrounded by pillows, some large and some smaller. Justin saw me examining the sitting area and said, "That’s where I read."
"You read?" I raised an eyebrow comically.
"I’m not just a pretty face you know!" The younger man laughed and tackled me to the bed.
"You’re a pretty face?" I asked teasingly before he started tickling me. I’m not sure how long we rolled around on the bed, but I was surprised that he’d gotten strong enough to hold his own when we wrestled around.
"You give?" He asked, face red, as I collapsed to the bed. I nodded, trying to catch my breath. He laid his head down on my chest and smiled contentedly. "I missed this."
"What? Reminding me what an old man I am?" I slapped his butt before wrapping my arms around him and pulling him closer.
"No." He kissed my neck. "Having fun and just fooling around with you." Justin snuggled as close as he could to me and closed his eyes. I closed my eyes as well and we fell asleep.
When I woke, the sun was setting behind the horizon and the loft was beginning to get dark. I felt around for Justin before opening my eyes and found that he was no longer in the bed with me. I listened and heard him puttering around downstairs. I got up, ran my fingers through my hair and walked down the spiral staircase to find him busily working in the kitchen.
"Whatcha doin’?" I asked him as I slipped my arms around his waist and rested my chin on his shoulder.
"Making some dinner." He replied and I could hear the smile in his voice. "You must have been tired, you slept for a long time."
"Well, this annoying guy has been keeping me up all night lately." I kissed his neck.
"Ohhhhh!" Justin turned in my arms and pressed his lips to mine. Soon, he was pressed against the fridge and we were both breathing heavily.
"Wow…" I breathed as we separated.
"You can say that again." He pushed his fingers through his hair and smiled. "You better sit over there or dinner will burn and we’ll never eat."
"Ya, I better." I said, but made no move to get away from him. I started kissing his collarbone and he giggled. "You’re such a teenage girl." I teased, slapping him on the butt and moving over to the other side of the counter.
"I’m making ravioli." He said and before I could make my standard comment about carbs, he continued, "And don’t act like you’re gunna get fat if you eat it."
I didn’t reply, I simply stuck my tongue out at him. "How long til it’ll be ready?"
"About fifteen minutes." Justin estimated.
"I’m gunna go take a shower and change my clothes." I stood and kissed him over the counter. "I’ll be quick though."
***
After the delicious dinner that Justin cooked for us, we laid on his couch and watched a movie. I was dozing in his lap as he stroked my hair. "Brian? Are you
sleeping?"
"Nu uh." I mumbled, my eyes still closed.
"Do you want to go to bed?" He chuckled.
"Bed?" My ears perked up and a smile formed on my face. "Yes, bed seems like a wonderful idea." I stood and pulled on his hand. As he turned off the lights and set the alarm, I walked upstairs and started undressing. When he finally appeared at the top of the staircase, I was laying on the bed with nothing on but a smile.
"Well, well, well, aren’t we anxious." He chuckled and climbed into bed with me. As soon as he was close enough, I attacked his mouth in a passionate kiss. His clothes were strewn across the room in record time and I reveled in feeling his body against mine.
"God, Justin." I moaned as he pressed kissed down the sensitive skin of neck and nibbled at the skin on my collarbone. "I’ve been dying to feel you."
"Mmmm." He hummed against my skin as he moved further down my body. When he found my nipples, he stuck out his tongue and flicked the sensitive tip before laving the entire thing with his tongue. I tangled my fingers in his hair, urging him on. He moved to my other nipple and gave it the same treatment before moving down between the muscles in my stomach.
My dick was as hard as it’s ever been as I felt him run his tongue down between the crevice where my abdomen met the top of my thigh. He took his time, licking every inch of my skin, avoiding my dick studiously.
"You’re going to kill me, Justin!" I groaned, throwing my head back and tangling my fingers in the sheets. Hearing my plea, he relented and poked his tongue out between his lips and licked a line down the underside of my shaft. He teased gently with his tongue, flicking at the sensitive knot of skin where the head of my cock met the shaft.
"Like that?" He asked, with a big grin, knowing that he was torturing me with the slow pleasure he was giving me. Before I could speak to answer him, he captured the head of my dick in his mouth and sucked hard.
"Ohhhhh!" I moaned, arching my back.
As he slowly pulled my length into his mouth, he reached up and played gently with my nipples. When he felt my beginning to stiffen, he pulled his hand away from my nipples and gently cupped my balls as his mouth and hand worked my dick into a frenzy. Just as I was about to cum, he stopped and sat up, proud of himself.
"You stopped…" I breathed, feeling frustrated.
"Well, I do want you to fuck me tonight, so I couldn’t just make you cum." He grinned and reached into the bedside table pulling out a small tube of KY and a small silver packet.
"You’re forgiven." I smiled evilly before grabbing him by the waist and pushing him onto his back beneath me. I captured his lips with my own as I slid my hand between our bodies to grasp his dick.
"Ughhhhh!" He moaned, delighting in the feel of my hand on the sensitive flesh.
"Brian, don’t stop!"
I jerked him slowly, sitting up to watch his face as he felt the pleasure I was bringing him. I moved onto my knees and pulled his legs up onto my shoulders.
Knowing my intentions, Justin grabbed his legs and held them up for me. As I pressed the pad of my thumb against the tight ring of muscle, he let out a small moan.
"Brian! Hurry!" Justin panted, urging me on by pulling legs even closer to his body, revealing more of himself to me. "I can’t wait!!"
Obliging him, I prepared him with the lube and my fingers, the whole time listening to him beg me to fuck him. Finally, he was ready and I slipped the condom over my cock and positioned myself at his entrance. As I pushed inside him, and felt him open for me, I threw my head back and closed my eyes. The pleasure was so immense that I started to feel light headed.
As I got my bearing I started thrusting inside him slowly until he couldn’t take it anymore and begged me. "Harder, Brian! Faster!" He moaned. I began thrusting faster and built up speed over time. We were both lost in each other, our head thrown back, guttural moans escaping our lips.
"Ohhhhh!" Justin moaned, and I knew he was close. "Brian!! I’m… uhhhh… I’m cummmmmmmmming!!" As the word escaped his mouth I felt his muscles clench around me and cum splashed up onto his stomach and chest.
Feeling him tighten around me, I felt my own release approaching and grabbed his hips, thrusting into his as deeply as I could.
As I came down from the intense orgasm, I fell on top of him and closed my eyes. I was asleep in minutes.
***
As the sun rose and lit up the loft with their rays, Justin and I woke together, wrapped in each other. "Morning, Sunshine." I whispered, kissing his forehead. He snuggled closer to me, unwilling to let go.
"This is so perfect." He smiled, snuggling in closer. "Are you sure you have to go to work today? Can’t we just stay like this forever?"
"Unfortunately, I have a meeting in about two hours, so yes, I have to go to work." I didn’t want to leave any more than he wanted me to, but I knew it had to be done. "Besides, Mr. Famous Artiste, you should get some painting done… or something… Whatever it is you do." I joked as I slipped out of bed and walked towards the washroom.
"Can I paint you?" Justin asked, still curled up in the bed.
"You’ve painted me a million times." I reminded him.
"I meant, would you pose?" Justin sat up and regarded me hopefully as I opened
my shaving kit.
"You want me to, like, sit still forever while you paint me?"
"You wouldn’t necessarily have to sit for too long… I could sketch you and take
some pictures… It would only take an hour or two." Justin looked like a puppy dog, up on his hands and knees on the bed.
"Will I be rewarded for my patience?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. Justin, still acting like an anxious dog, bounded towards me and slipped his arms around my waist.
"Trust me, baby." He whispered in a sultry voice near my ear, sounding nothing like the cute little puppy I was comparing him to. "It’ll be a reward you’ll never forget."
"I think we have a deal." I kissed him as I walked up backwards towards the shower, pushing him into the stall and turning on the water.
***
After a long day of meetings and touching base with all of the managers that ran the New York office, I trudged into Justin’s apartment, wanting nothing more than a nice quiet evening with my "baby".
"Hey, Bri." Justin smiled as I walked in the door.
"Hey." I tried to smile, but I was too exhausted.
"I called your office, but you had already left. I ordered Vietnamese food. It
should be here in about twenty minutes." I nodded and dropped my briefcase, opening my arms for a hug. Justin slipped into my arms and let me lay my head on his shoulder. "Long day?"
"Oh yah." I breathed.
"Why don’t you go grab a shower before dinner. It might wake you up some." Justin smiled and urged me upstairs and helped me into the shower. I really didn’t need his help, I wasn’t THAT tired, but I liked that he was being all nurturing.
"Thanks, baby." I pressed a kiss to his lips before stepping under the spray and letting the water wash over me.
After my shower I was substantially more awake and Justin and I managed to have a conversation about our days, and about the rest of my stay during dinner. After we were finished eating, Justin urged me to relax and promised that he’d clean up the dishes. I grabbed the novel I had been reading out of my briefcase and slipped on my glasses a little self-consciously. I hadn’t planned on wearing them around Justin, feeling a little silly, but I needed them to read.
I was lost in my book when a camera flash temporarily blinded me. I looked up and Justin was standing in front of me with a small digital camera in his hands.
"What are you doing?" I asked, immediately pulling my glasses off.
"Don’t move. This is what I want to paint. Just keep reading and I’ll get everything I need." Justin had an enthusiastic smile on his face and I couldn’t help but oblige him. I slipped my glassed back on and settled back into what I had been reading.
I tried hard to ignore the camera flashes, but it was near impossible. He took about a million pictures of me before settling down in front of me with his sketchbook. Knowing that you’re the object of scrutiny makes concentrating very difficult, but I knew how much he wanted to paint this, so I pretended to read as he sketched furiously, turning the page often to start a new sketch.
When he was finally done, he knelt at my feet. "Know what those glasses make me think of?"
"What?" I asked, closing my book and looking down at him.
"Clark Kent. Mild mannered reporter by day, Superman by night." Justin smiled and placed his hand on my thigh. "They’re very sexy. There’s something about a man in glasses."
"Yah?" A grin crept onto my lips and I raised an eyebrow.
"Yah." He moved his hand higher on my thigh.
"Does drawing make you horny?" I asked, amused.
"Drawing you does." He slipped his hand behind my head and pulled me down
for a kiss.
***
After three days of staying with Justin, we had fallen into a very comfortable routine, and I was surprised at my reaction. I was actually happy to spend the evenings in with him instead of going out to the clubs. Friday night arrived and I knew Justin was curious as to what I had planned. I told him that I had a big surprise and that he would have to wait and see what it was.
When I walked into the loft, he was sitting on the couch waiting not-so-patiently. He turned and looked at me with a big grin on his face. "Hey, Bri." He smiled and bounded over to me, pressing a kiss to my lips.
"Hey, baby." I smiled. I knew that he was dying to know what his surprise was. I liked that even though he had grown up a lot in the time we had been apart, there was still some of that youthful enthusiasm inside him. I was certain that he would like this surprise much better that the hustler birthday surprise.
"So..." Justin was obviously getting impatient.
"So what?" I asked, enjoying watching him squirm.
"When are you going to give me my surprise?" Justin asked. He looked like he was about to start bouncing up and down.
"Give? Who said anything about giving?" I asked, raising an eyebrow and touching his cheek.
"I just assumed..." Justin looked nervous.
"I should make you wait another day. Or until my next visit." I put on a very convincing serious face.
"Briiiiiiiaaaaaannn!" He whined. I started to chuckle.
"Get your coat, you impatient little twat." I hurried upstairs and changed into jeans and a tank top, grabbing my leather jacket. I walked downstairs and Justin was all ready to go, and standing by the door.
***
"What are we doing here?" Justin asked, looking up at the tall old building in Manhattan.
"You'll see." I said with a smile, handing him a blindfold. He looked at me curiously, but when I said nothing he slipped the blindfold over his eyes and took my hand.
He was getting more and more anxious as I led him to the elevator and then down the hall once we reached our destination floor. "Brian! Where are we?"
"You'll see." As I led him into the apartment, I took a deep breath. Once we were inside and the door was closed, I slipped the blindfold off his eyes. As he took in the large candlelit living room he looked surprised and confused.
"Brian, this is beautiful, but I don't get it." Justin looked down at the blanket on the floor and all the food that was on it.
"Well, this is my new place. Part time." I told him. I watched a series of emotion cross his face until a huge smile grew on his lips and he threw his arms around me.
"Like half the time?" He asked after we broke apart.
"Yes, honey." I said, tongue in cheek.
He attacked me again, throwing his arms around me. "Oh, Brian!" He exclaimed. "You have no idea how happy I am."
"Yes, I do." I said quietly. I took a deep breath and sat him down on the blanket. "I love you, Justin."
Justin stayed silent and tears came to his eyes. I watched as he let them fall and stared at me silently. He finally reached over and took my hand. "I love you, too... But you already knew that."
I reached over and pressed a soft kiss on his lips.
***
The next morning, Justin woke up early and was ready to go by 9am, urging me to hurry. I had promised him the night before that I would let him help me decorate the new apartment and that we would spend Saturday shopping.
“Let me sleep!” I grumbled. “You kept me up all night fucking, I just need another hour!” I pulled the pillow over my head and tried to block him out. Suddenly, I felt the pillow wrenched from my hands and I was on my back, Justin holding me down.
“We have to get going now!” He said, pouting. “It’s going to take all day to find furniture for your place.” He took my hand and pulled me from the bed.
“Slave driver.” I grumbled as I climbed into the shower and let the warm spray wake me up. “Didn’t even get a good morning fuck,” still grumbling.
After my shower, I dressed in a comfortable pair of black pants and a tight red sweater. I figured that if I was going to be forced to furniture shop with Justin all day, the least I could do was make him horny as hell in the process. I knew he loved when I wore red, he’d told me a million times.
“Ooh.” Justin grinned as I walked down the stairs, socks and black boots in hand. Justin was sitting at the kitchen table reading the Arts & Leisure section of the newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. “You look sexy today.”
“Don’t I always?” I asked with a grin as I poured myself a cup of coffee.
“You sure do.” Justin winked and went back to the newspaper.
“Well, are we leaving?” I asked a couple of minutes later, having downed my coffee in record time.
“Yup.” Justin smiled and stood. He moved faster than I’d ever seen him this early in the morning and was at my side in a flash.
***
After a long day of shopping, I lay on Justin’s couch exhausted, reading my novel. Justin was still surprised that I read as much as I did, as I had never been much of a reader before. The younger man was making a dinner that smelled absolutely delicious. Neither of us was really in the mood to talk, both a little sad that I had to leave the very next day and I wouldn’t be back for a couple of weeks.
“Hey, Bri?” Justin asked. I sat up and looked at him, closing my book and putting it down on the table.
“What’s up, baby?”
“Two weeks seems so long.” He walked around to my side of the couch and sat down on my lap. “I was thinking that maybe I could come visit you next weekend?”
“Sure, if you want.” I nodded. “Gus would love to see you again, and I’m sure the ‘We all’s’ do too.”
“What about you?”
“I always want to see you.” I smiled and wrapped my arms around him.
“It still throws me a little when you say stuff like that.” Justin replied with a giggle.
“Gee, thanks.” I rolled my eyes. It kind of bothered me when he said things like that. I knew that I was a lot more open than I was the first time he and I were together, but I didn’t want to hear about it all the time. “Don’t tell the ‘We all’s’ alright?”
“Never!” Justin chuckled. “I wouldn’t want to ruin your reputation. I kind of like being the bad ass’s boyfriend.”
“I always knew you did.” I nipped at his ear. “Now, when is dinner gunna be ready?”
“Right away, honey!” Justin batted his eyelashes and bounded off to the kitchen.
***
“So, I guess I’ll see you in a few days?” I asked, not willing to say goodbye just yet. I couldn’t believe that an entire week had passed since I had arrived in New York. The week had been incredible and I was sure that I made the right decision in staying with Justin.
“Yup. I booked a flight to the Pitts online last night. Will you pick me up at the airport?” Justin squeezed my hand. I knew that he didn’t want to let go either.
“What time does your flight get in on Friday?”
“2:15.”
”Shit! I can’t. Can you get your mom to pick you up? I can pick you up at her place. I’m in meetings until 4:30 on Friday afternoon.” I actually thought it might be a good thing that Justin see Jennifer right when he got to town. I wanted him to myself for most of the weekend, and dinner with Mrs. Taylor was definitely not “alone time”.
“Ok, I’ll call her tonight. If she can’t, I’m sure someone can. Maybe Emmett or something.” Justin slipped his arms around my waist and I knew that it was time to say goodbye.
“I’ll call you when I get back to the Pitts.” I said, hugging him close.
“K. I’ll be waiting.” Justin turned his face up for a kiss and I leaned down a pressed a long, lingering kiss onto his lips. “I’m gunna miss you.”
“Me, too, baby.” I nuzzled against his neck. “Now, I’d better get going… Wouldn’t want to miss my flight.” I smiled and kissed him one last time before picking up my bag and walking through the doors of the terminal. It was going to be a long 5 days….
Part 4
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