***
Justin walked into the diner for the first time in months. Michael had called him the previous night, threatening vandalism and violence if Debbie didn’t get a visit from him soon. Apparently, Debbie was more than just a little worried about her Sunshine.
“Mornin’, Deb.” He said with a smile.
“Sunshine!” Debbie exclaimed, causing every head in the diner, including Brian Kinney’s, to turn towards Justin. “I’ve been worried about you, you little shit.”
“Sorry, Deb. I would have called, but I’ve been so busy with the move and stuff.” Justin opened his arms to her for a hug and she smiled, embracring him tightly.
“Well, go sit with the boys and I’ll bring you some breakfast. Have you been eating right? You look a little skinny.” Debbie shook her head and continued muttering all the way to the kitchen.
“Hi, guys.” Justin smiled, walking up to “the boys” in their usual booth. He cautiously avoided Brian’s eyes as he slid into the booth next to Emmett.
“Hey, Sweetie. I’m so glad you came here. The last few months haven't been the same without our little sunshine around.” Emmett kissed Justin’s temple and threw an arm around him.
“Thanks, Em.” Justin grinned, still avoiding Brian’s eyes. “So, Michael, when are you going to have the copy for the next issue?” The first 3 issues of Rage were selling like hotcakes, and both young men were excited to put out a fourth issue.
“I should be done in a couple of days. I’ll drop it by your apartment. Everyone tells me it’s amazing.” Michael’s initial discomfort at sitting at a table with both Justin and Brian quickly faded at the mention of the comic book.
“You moved into your own place?” Brian asked, breaking his own silence. Justin finally shifted his eyes over to where Brian sat.
“Yah. I moved last week.” Justin nodded, wanting to say more, but feeling it was inappropriate. This was the first time the two had spoken since Justin had chosen Ethan.
“How are you liking it?”
“I love it there. It’s really nice to be able to do my own thing again.” Justin was referring to the constant attention that Ethan had demanded when they were living together.
“That’s good.” Brian said with a genuine smile. Justin looked at his former lover closely and could tell that something was different. Brian’s skin held more color than before and he didn’t look tired.
“You could, uh, come over and see my new place sometime.” Justin invited.
“Sure. Ummm… I’ll call you.” Brian felt a little uncomfortable, but wanted more than anything to have Justin as a part of his life again, so he tried to hide it.
“Yah.” Justin nodded.
“I should get to work.” Brian said. “See you guys later.” With that, he was gone.
***
Justin was sitting at his kitchen table paging through his Art History book when there was a knock at his door. He stood, ran his fingers through his hair and made his way to the door. On the other side, Lindsay was standing there with a paper bag in her hand and a tray containing two cups of tea. She had offered to help him mat and frame some of his art for around his apartment.
“Morning!” Lindsay said cheerfully.
“Hey, Linds.” Justin smiled and gestured for her to come in. “I thought you would be bringing Gus.”
“I figured I should leave him with Mel. I wouldn’t want him to ruin any of your art.” Lindsay kicked off her shoes and walked into the kitchen. Ever since Justin had left Ethan, Lindsay had become his primary support system. They didn’t often talk about what happened with Ethan, but instead just spent time together talking about art or whatever else came to their minds.
“He does tend to be a bit of a little demolisher, doesn’t he?” Justin chuckled and sat down at the table across from where Lindsay sat,
“I brought some mats and a couple of really nice frames that I found at a garage sale, but I left them in the car. I figured we could enjoy our tea and breakfast first.” Lindsay smiled and Justin felt his heart warm. He was certain that if he were straight, he would want a woman just like Linds.
“Sounds great!” Justin grabbed a muffin out of the bag and took a bite. “I picked out the pieces I want to hang in here so it shouldn’t take too long to get them all matted and framed. I can hang them later tonight.” He said as he chomped on the muffin.
“How are you liking living here?” Lindsay asked before taking a sip of her green tea.
“I love it.” Justin said enthusiastically. “It’s weird to finally be actually living on my own. No parents or boyfriend or Deb to take care of me.”
“Speaking of Deb, she called me this morning, I guess someone told her I was coming over, and she told me to threaten you with physical violence if you don’t invite her a Vic over for dinner soon.”
Justin laughed. “She always sends someone else to threaten me. I’ve been meaning to invite them over, but with all my final projects for this semester due next week, I haven’t really had time.” Justin shook his head. “And people think artists are lazy.”
Lindsay chuckled and they continued chatting. An hour later, their cups of tea empty, Justin and Lindsay decided to run down to the car and get the mats and frames.
***
“Mikey, I’m not in the mood for another lecture.” Brian said firmly as he took shots at the punching bag that hung in the corner of the loft.
“I’m just trying to understand why you can’t come out with me and the boys anymore.” Michael whined.
“I’ll come out with you guys in a few months. I told you that. I just can’t right now.” Brian took a harder shot at the punching bag to try and release some of the aggravation that Michael was causing.
“A few months!” Michael whined. Brian was noticing that since he had stopped clubbing and drugging, Michael had been making a lot of trips to the loft to bitch and moan.
“Yes.” His best friend said through clenched teeth. “A few months.”
“You used to come out every night.”
“I can’t anymore.” Brian’s movements became swifter as he fought to keep the rage he was feeling inside himself.
“Well, why not?” Michael demanded. “What the hell is wrong with you that you don’t want to spend time with your friends anymore?”
**SNAP**
Brian’s composure broke and his anger erupted. “What’s wrong with me!? What’s wrong with me?? Maybe it’s you guys that are wrong with me! Ever think of that? Ever think that maybe I want to grow up and do more than party and fuck around? Ever think that maybe I don’t want to act like a fucking child anymore?”
Michael was cowering now, afraid that he had pushed Brian too far.
“No, you wouldn’t think that, would you? Because you are stuck in Jr. fucking High school and you don’t realize that life is more than boys and comic books!” Brian shoved the punching bag away from his chest and stalked into the bedroom. “Get the fuck out, Mikey!” He spat without turning around.
Michael obeyed.
***
Lindsay closed her eyes and reveled in the feeling of Melanie’s fingers on her scalp as she spoke. “I don’t know what happened, but I could swear it’s a miracle.”
“What is?”
“Brian is cleaning up his act. No more drugs. No more booze. And far less tricks.” Melanie snorted.
“He can give up the booze and drugs but only cut down on the men.” As she thought about it, she began to laugh even harder. “How very Brianesque!”
“He’s really trying. He’s even stopped going out to the clubs with the boys.” Lindsay smiled to herself. “And Justin is really taking hold of his life and making decisions based entirely on his own needs and wants. He’s not doing it for anyone else anymore.”
“Well, it’s about fucking time that happened.”
“They needed to break up to grow up.”
“I guess it was never meant to be.” Melanie hated always discussing Brian and his relationships. She wanted to talk about their own relationship, but she kept quiet and spoke when she saw fit.
“I disagree.” Lindsay tilted her head and looked up at Mel. “I think they’re just waiting for the right time. Obviously when they met it wasn’t the right time. Brian was still in his Peter Pan mindset and Justin was still in high school. And when they moved in together, it was an even worse time. Both of them were dealing with feelings of inadequacy and both wanted more from the other than they were willing to give.”
“You’ve really thought about this.” Melanie shook her head in surprise.
“I really have.” Lindsay smiled. “I want to see them together. And I think both of them want to be together. I think that’s the reason for all the maturing that’s going on.”
“Can you believe it? Babylon’s former super-couple is growing up and settling down.” Melanie laughed.
“Well, not yet. But I can almost guarantee that at this time next year, those two will on the right track. All they need to do is actually talk to each other.” Lindsay grinned before softly kissing her wife. “Now let’s stop talking about them and talk about something more important. Like us.”
Melanie grinned and kissed Lindsay more passionately. Now you’re talking, she thought to herself.
***
Justin sat nervously on his couch staring at the TV, but not really registering what he was watching. A half hour earlier, Brian had called and asked if it was a good time to come over and see Justin’s new digs. Justin, of course, said yes and was now waiting for Brian’s arrival. He was more nervous than he could ever remember being.
He and Brian hadn’t really talked or been alone since the day of the Rage party. His leaving with Ethan had changed their relationship for good. After, he had collected his things and he and Brian had avoided speaking to each other until the other morning in the diner.
**Knock, Knock**
Justin quickly looked at his appearance in the mirror before opening the door. On the other side, Brian stood with a smile on his face and a gift bag in his hand. “Howdy!”
“Howdy???” Justin raised an eyebrow.
“Yes, Howdy.” Brian winked. “Can I come in?”
“Oh, yah!” Justin tried to shake himself out of his frazzled state as Brian stepped into the room and slipped his boots off. “Can I get you something to drink?”
“Sure. I’d love some coffee.” Brian followed Justin into the kitchen and was impressed. He’d been expecting the place to look like an average college student’s apartment. He’d expected to see pizza boxes piled up and dirty dishes all over the place. Instead, though, he found the place clean and neat. “This is a cool place.”
“While the coffee is brewing, I’ll show you around.”
“Wait a sec. I got you a housewarming gift.” Justin was surprised by Brian’s thoughtfulness and smiled appreciatively. Brian held out the bag and Justin looked inside.
“Oh, Brian! This is great!” He exclaimed. He found that Brian had been even more thoughtful than he had originally thought when he saw the small George Foreman grill.
“Well, I knew you liked to use mine all the time.” Brian smiled reminiscently. “I recall you made some pretty great low fat meals.”
“This is awesome, Brian!” Justin put down the bag containing the grill and wrapped his arms around Brian. The embrace was filled with longing, but they ended it as if were the most common, platonic hug in the world.
“You’re welcome.” Brian was pleased that Justin liked his gift.
“Black with sugar?” Justin asked once the coffee was ready, breaking the silence that he and Brian sat in as it brewed.
“You know me too well.” Brian chuckled.
After the coffee was on a tray, Justin led Brian into the living room so they could talk. He took a seat in the arm chair and Brian sat on the couch. “Here you go.” Justin said with a smile handing Brian his coffee.
“Thank you.” Brian accepted. For several minutes there was awkward silence as the two searched for something to say. Suddenly Justin laughed. “What’s funny?”
“This is just so ridiculous. We’re sitting here completely silent. It’s like we’re on a first date or something.” Justin explained. Brian laughed as well.
“Well, it we were on a first date it would be a damn weird time for it, considering the history.” He added.
For the next two hours, the two men lost themselves in conversation. Justin talked about all of his projects at school. Being in his second year was double the work of the first. Brian talked about work and especially a new campaign he was working on that he thought Justin would be interested in. When they fell into an awkward silence, Brian revealed his change of lifestyle.
“I quit drinking and going to clubs.” He said in hopes that Justin would be proud of him. He wasn’t sure why Justin’s approval meant so much, but it did. Maybe it was because, other than Lindsay, Justin was really the only person in his life who would understand why he was doing it.
“When did that happen?” Justin asked, surprised.
“Couple of weeks ago, I guess.” Brian shrugged. “Mikey is none too happy with me right now.” He chuckled thinking of Michael’s tantrum.
Justin laughed. “He misses his best friend.”
“We can still hang out. It wasn’t like we were doing bonding things when we went to Babylon, got hosed, and picked up some random guy to fuck.” Brian had started looking at his decision’s more closely and had realized that, while that made him happy before, sometime around Justin’s bashing it had stopped being fun. He still wasn’t sure whether it was before or after the bashing, those days all seemed to run together.
“Wow, Bri, you really have changed.” Justin was a little shell-shocked and didn’t know what else to say.
“It feels good.” Brian smiled. He looked down at his watch and frowned. “I have to go. I promised Lindsay that I would take Gus to the zoo this afternoon so she and Mel can get some things done around the house.”
“Oh. Ok.” Justin was a little disappointed that Brian was leaving, he had really been enjoying the man’s company. “Well, maybe you can stop by again sometime soon?”
“For sure.” Brian nodded. “Maybe I could bring Gus over later?”
“That would be great. I love playing with him.” Justin walked Brian to the door. “Maybe you two could stay for dinner? I could try out my new grill.”
“Sounds good.” Brian smiled. It felt good to be friends with Justin again and he swore to himself that he wouldn’t let anything ruin that. He had to keep himself from leaning down and kissing the younger man. “See you in a few hours?”
“Yah.” Justin smiled and opened the door for Brian, needing him to leave for fear of kissing him.
***
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