“Morning.” Justin groaned, as his whole body screamed out at him with pain from the stiffness in his back from the uncomfortable position in which he slept.
“How’d you sleep?”
“Not bad.” Justin stood up and stretched. “Thanks again for letting me crash here.” The young college student loved waking up in the Peterson-Marcus home. There was always fresh coffee and cinnamon rolls, conversation was never tense, and he felt free to say what he was feeling.
“Anytime, Sweetie.” Lindsay walked over to Justin and laid a hand on his shoulder and leaned her forehead against his. “And you don’t have to tell us what happened with Ethan until you’re ready, ok?”
“Thanks, Linds.” Justin kissed her cheek. “Maybe you and I could talk alone after breakfast?”
“Of course.” Lindsay went back to the table as Melanie and Gus made their way down the stairs. Gus had become such a little man, walking confidently and babbling to his “Mumby” as he descended the stairs.
“Morning, Justin.” Melanie said with a smile.
“Morning, Mel. Morning, Gus.”
“Morning, Jusjus.” Gus ran over to him and jumped into his arms. “Play?”
“Later, honey.” Lindsay said in a singsong voice. “Time for breakfast now.”
***
“Brian?” Michael called as he looked around the loft. It appeared to be empty. “Brian! This isn’t funny.” Michaeal looked at his watch and confirmed that it was indeed 8am on Sunday morning and Brian wasn’t home. He was about to call 911 when Brian entered the loft looking sweaty in a pair of cotton shorts and a tight tank top.
“Morning, Michael.” Brian said breathlessly.
“Where the fuck were you?” Michael demanded.
“Running.” He replied as he grabbed two bottles of water drinking all of one and half of the other in less than a minute. “Forgot how nice it is to run first thing in the morning.”
“Where is all this coming from?”
“All what?” Brian asked with genuine confusion.
“Normally at 8 o’clock on Sunday morning you would be nursing a hang over, telling me to fuck breakfast, fuck coffee, and just generally fuck off.” Michael was pacing and Brian was ready to tell him just that.
“Lemme get this straight.” Brian paused a moment for effect. “You’re upset that I’m not still in bed, feeling like there’s a herd of elephants directly on top of my head? You’re upset that I was instead out for a morning jog in the park?”
“Is this about Justin?”
“What?” Brian whirled around the face Michael, a look a fury on his face.
“Well, is it?” Michael seemed just as angry. “Ever since he left you’ve been a fucking fall down mess. You’ve been working long hours and then going directly to Woody’s to get smashed! You’ve probably spent half of what you’ve earned working those long hours on drugs!”
“And when the fuck did what I put in my system and how I spend the money I earn become your business, Michael?” Brian’s eyes were blazing.
“Since forever! I’m your best friend and I don’t like what I’ve been seeing you do to yourself.” Michael began pacing with even more fervor.
“I went for a fucking run!” Brian slammed the water bottle onto the counter. “Get the fuck out, Michael. I don’t need this shit anymore! Do you think I haven’t gotten the lecture from everyone else? Do you think I don’t still get blamed for Justin leaving?”
“That’s because it’s your own fucking fault!” With that said, Michael turned on his heel and walked out of the loft angrily.
“Fuck!” Brian picked the water bottle back up and threw it hard against the wall, sending the remaining water splashing to the floor.
***
Justin and Lindsay sat in the sunroom, cups of tea in front of them, watching as Melanie pushed Gus on a swing in the back yard. “So I guess I should start from the beginning?”
“Sure.” Lindsay was trying her hardest not to push for information. Unlike with Brian, it was best not to push Justin or else he would pull back.
“Well, you know that Ethan has a lot of pressure. To be an amazing violin player you have to practice a lot!” Justin took a deep breath. “From the outside, he looks like this really normal guy, at least as normal as a starving artist can get I guess. But he’s not.”
“Take your time, Sweetheart.”
“He makes a lot more money than he lets on when he plays on the street. He clears out his violin case every hour or so, and from what I can tell he makes a few hundred dollars a day.” Justin took a deep breath. “He puts most of that money up his nose.”
“Cocaine?” Lindsay asked. Justin nodded. “Oh my…”
“I never knew about it until I moved in there. He kept it well hidden how much he did it even while I was living there. At first, that is. I thought it was really great that he didn’t drink and I just assumed he didn’t do drugs either. When I found out how much money he spends on his habit, I freaked. We got into a huge argument and he hit me.”
“He hit you?”
“He didn’t hurt me. It was just a slap.” Justin knew that he sounded like he was defending the violence so he continued immediately. “He was really apologetic after, he said that he was sorry and he would never do it again. I thought about it for a full 24 hours and then I walked out. Even once is too many times. Brian taught me that.”
By now, Justin was crying and Lindsay rounded the table to pull him into her arms. She knew what it was like to have an abusive partner, she’d had one herself. “Shh, sweetie, you did the right thing.”
“I should have done the right thing six months ago and chosen Brian.” Justin sobbed. Once he had calmed down and he and Lindsay were back in their own chairs, Lindsay spoke.
“Don’t make this about Brian, Justin.” She said. “This is about you. You’re stronger because of this, I know you are. I was.”
“What?” Justin asked.
“I was in a very similar situation. You’d be surprised at just how similar it was.” Lindsay saw the curiosity in Justin’s sad eyes and decided to tell him the story. “It was in our junior year of college, when Brian and I were dating.”
“Dating?” The young man made a face.
“Yes. I guess Brian never told you that he and I tried the straight thing for a few months.” Lindsay giggled. “We did. And this is when we were. He took me to an art exhibit and that’s where I met her. Her name was Pam. She was beautiful. She was petite like a dancer and she had this mass of curly red hair and beautiful green eyes. It was Pam’s exhibit we were at.”
“What happened?”
“After seeing Pam casually for a while, I realized that she gave me something that Brian didn’t and I broke up with him. I let… I let it go on a lot longer than you did. She hit me the first time not long after we starting a physical relationship.”
“How long did it go on?” Justin asked, leaning in close.
“8 months. When Brian found out what was going on, he came and dragged me out of her place, threatening to have her arrested if she came near me again. I was furious with him. Then I realized how stupid I had been.”
“So we both went from Brian to people who hurt us.” Justin said quietly.
“And regretted it once we left.” Lindsay finished.
“But you’re a lesbian.”
“Brian is a attractive to men and women, straight and gay. It doesn’t really matter with him.” Lindsay laughed. “Besides, I didn’t regret it for long. I dated a few different girls and then a couple of years later I met Mel.”
“Linds, do you think if I talked to him…”
“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea right now.” Lindsay said. “I don’t think that either of you are ready for that.”
“How is he? I always wonder but I never ask.” He admitted.
“Brian is being Brian.” Lindsay said with a shake of her head. “The drugs, the clubs, the tricks…”
“I figured.” Justin nodded. “Listen, I’m going to go shower and get dressed and then me and my mom are going apartment hunting.”
“Can you afford to live on your own?”
“Yeah. Last month my father deposited 40,000 dollars into an education account for me.” Justin explained. “My mother and he have apparently been discussing it for a while when dad got a huge bonus from work. Last month they settled on an amount and now I can afford tuition and living expenses.”
“Well, good luck with the hunt then.” The woman smiled and went outside to join her lover and their son in the yard.
***
~BANG! BANG!~
“What the fuck?” Brian grumbled as he made his way to the door. He saw a very distraught looking Debbie standing on the other side. “Can I help you?”
“Is he here?”
“Michael? No, he was here this morning, but he left.” Brian wasn’t in any mood to deal with one of Debbie’s tongue lashings.
“I’m not talking about Michael. I’m talking about Justin. Is he here?”
“Uh, Deb, Justin moved out six months ago.” Brian was confused and none too happy with both of the Novotny’s bringing up his former lover in one day.
“I went to Ethan’s to take him some lasagna and apparently they broke up. Ethan told me to fuck off. He also told me to look for Justin here.” Debbie looked frantic. “He didn’t come to me, he didn’t go to Michael and Emmett’s, and he didn’t come here, where the fuck did he go?”
“To Mrs. Taylor’s?” Brian suggested. “His mommy?”
“That’s the last place he would go!” Debbie exclaimed.
“How about the mother’s of my child?” Brian was getting irritated and wanted to finish this guessing game with Debbie and get rid of her.
“Haven’t tried there.” Debbie said. “If he comes here, will you tell him to call me?”
“He won’t.” Brian said slamming the door. “What a fucking day.” He grumbled as he picked up his book and resumed reading.
***
“This is the one.” Justin said with a huge smile on his face as he and his mother stood in a beautiful one-bedroom apartment.
“Are you sure, honey?” Jennifer looked around skeptically. “It’s a lot smaller than the last one we looked at.”
“But it’s cleaner and closer to school. The other place was so boring. This place has character.” Justin ran his hand over the dark wood window frame. The floors of the apartment were brand new hardwood and the walls were freshly painted.
“Well, it does have a good size living room and the kitchen is new.” Jennifer was beginning to cave in. She’d had her heart set on the last apartment because it was only a few blocks from her condo.
“I’ll take it.” Justin said to the landlord. He was told that he could move in on the first of the month, which was only three days later. “Thank you, sir.” Justin said with a big smile as he looked around the place he would be able to call home in a few short days.
***
~One Week Later~
“So, what do you guys think?” Justin asked showing off his apartment to Lindsay, Melanie, Emmett, and Ted.
“It’s great, Justin.” Melanie said.
“Just the kind of place I had hoped to see you in.” Lindsay agreed.
“Do you have an alarm system?” Ted asked. Justin chuckled, even as a porn king,Ted was still the practical one.
“My mom is having one installed.”
“Is all this furniture new?” Emmett asked.
“Yeah. Me and mom went shopping. She figured that instead of having to come over and sit on the floor and see that my furniture consisted of a mattress on the floor, she’d give me an early Christmas present.”
Justin loved how his place looked now that he was completely moved in. His living room was also going to be his study/art area. A desk with his computer on it was in the corner and a big drafting table was next to it. On the other side of the room there was a big black overstuffed couch and a grey armchair. Across from them was a 19” television and VCR as well as his Playstation.
“I still have to put some stuff on the walls, but I figure my art will be perfect for that.” Justin smiled a megawatt smile and they continued on the tour. “This is my bedroom.”
“Whoa! I love your bed!” Emmett said running over to the big cushy bed.
“The frame is actually from the guestroom in our old house, but the mattresses are new.” Justin said. He loved his bed more than anything else in the apartment. The frame was a heavy, rustic looking wood carved and beautifully shaped. Covering it, he had a thick black duvet and several red throw pillows.
“How did your mom afford this?”
“Actually, I bought a lot of it while I was living with Ethan. My mom just bought the big things. My job at the restaurant pays pretty well and I could afford to pick up a few household items every paycheck.” Justin smiled. “I have the most awesome dishes and pots and pans.”
Moving on to the kitchen, everyone was suitably impressed. The cupboards with filled with everything Justin would need to whip up one of his mom’s or Debbie’s recipes. “Did Mommy buy your groceries too?” Emmett asked with a chuckle seeing that his refrigerator and freezer were completely packed.
“She insisted.” Justin rolled his eyes.
“This place is definitely awesome, Justin.” Emmett said. “I think I’ll be visiting often.”
“Just call first.” Justin laughed.
***
Brian looked at the clock, he still had twenty minutes left of his workout. He had been training for just over a week and was feeling better than he had in years. Having stopping drinking and taking drugs helped in itself, but the change in eating habits and exercise was also helping immensely.
His trainer, Nina, was pushing him to quit smoking as well, but he knew that if he did that he would probably give up on the whole thing just to have a cigarette. He looked over at the stack of books on the kitchen table and chuckled. His friends would never believe it.
Brian’s smile faded when he thought back to what had happened to make him decide that a change of lifestyle was in order….~
Wednesday. I never party this hard on Wednesday, Brian thought to himself as he pressed himself against his dance partner and popped yet another little pill into his mouth. He had lost count of how many of those little pills he had popped into his mouth since arriving at Babylon some hours earlier.
He vaguely remembered Michael, Emmett, and Ted leaving earlier, but the time in between the time they left and when he actually acknowledged that his friends were no longer in the club was a little hazy.
“What do you say we get out of here?” His dance partner asked smoothly.
Doesn’t he know that I make the move? Brian thought before pushing the wannabe trick away and fading back into the crowd to find someone else who wanted to dance with him. Justin always liked dance with me… It was always me who wanted to go back to the loft and fuck. Brian pushed the thoughts of Justin away as quickly as they had come.
Next thing he knew, Brian was waking up in a puddle of his own vomit, the smell enough to make him vomit again, in the middle of an alley not far from Babylon. His Jeep was scraped along the side and was parked sideways about ten feet away from where he was laying.
I drove. I drove when I was that fucked up. This shit has got to stop.
…~
That was that. That very moment, Brian decided that it was time to be a grown up. He gave up the drinking and the drugs, he had even resolved to cut the number of guy he fucked down considerably, and never looked back.
***
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