| “Brian, I…” Justin reached out to touch his lover’s arm. Brian flinched and pulled away, making his way across the room. “Don’t fucking touch me right now.” The hurt that Brian was feeling was very evident by his voice. “I’m sorry, Brian. I’ll go.” Justin turned to walk out of the loft, for what he thought would be the very last time. “Why did you do it?” Brian demanded, stopping Justin in his tracks, his voice hard and cold. “I don’t know.” Justin said quietly, ashamed. “That’s not a fucking answer!” Brian exclaimed, angry. “You ruined this, you moved out, and I want to know why. I followed your fucking rules. You never told me that you wanted more. You think I’m a fucking mind reader?” “Brian…” “Let me finish, Justin.” Brian’s warning tone prevented Justin from continuing to speak. “I did it for you.” The hurt was now evident again. “I changed every part of my life for you and you’re leaving. I want to know why.” “You know why.” Justin felt shame for his actions and didn’t want to say the words. “What is he that I’m not?” It was like the man needed to know why Justin couldn’t love him anymore, how someone else had taken his place in Justin’s heart. “Romantic.” Justin said, finally looking into Brian’s eyes. Brian nodded and turned away. “Well, I guess you’ll be leaving now.” “Goodbye, Brian.” Justin said, choking up, wanting to cry more than anything. “Goodbye, Justin.” Brian turned and walked up the stairs to the bedroom. He knew that he could keep from falling apart in front of Justin as long as he didn’t have to watch him leave. Justin watched as Brian disappeared into the dark bedroom, hiding in the shadows. He looked around the loft and wondered if he would miss it. It didn’t take him long to figure out that it wasn’t the loft he would miss, but it’s owner. “Brian, I…” Justin started to rush up to the bedroom to try to explain, to try to change something. When he heard Brian’s reply, he turned and walked out of the loft without looking back. “Go find someone who loves you.” Brian said coldly, cleverly hiding his eyes in the darkness, hiding the lies. “Don’t worry about me. I won’t worry about you.” And that was it. Brian had been able to deal the final blow. As Justin sat in his car, staring up at the windows of Brian’s loft, he let the tears that had been pushing at his eyes flow. He laid his head down on the steering wheel as sobs wracked his body. Little did he know that in the darkened window, Brian stood looking down at the car that he was sitting in. While he wasn’t sobbing, he never let himself lose control that way, his face was streaked with tears, his eyes red. ***I don’t know what the future will hold or will do for me and you But I’m a better man for having known you Now you know that’s true because Everything is coming up rosy & grey Well the wind is cold but the smell of snow warms me today And your smile is fine and it’s just like mine And it won’t go away Cuz everything is rosy & grey *** *Above lyrics I do not own. They were written by Lowest of the Low. |
| Rosy & Grey HannahKelli's Farewell Story By HannahKelli |