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| Part 4 : I Wanna Open The Door To Your Life By HannahKelli |
| "Why won't they tell us anything?" Lindsay demanded. She, Melanie, Justin, Emmett, Ted, Michael, and Debbie were waiting while the doctors worked on Brian. Vic was at the Novotny house taking care of Gus, and Debbie was calling him every half hour with an update. "Because none of us are family." Melanie said. Debbie stood and started pacing. "We're all his fucking family!" Debbie exclaimed. "In all the ways that matter anyways." Michael stood and put his arms around his mother as she started to sob again. They had been there for over an hour with no word. "Well, I'm not just going to stand here." Lindsay stood and walked over to the desk. She was bringing out her last weapon. "Excuse me." "I've already today you, Miss Peterson." The nurse at the desk said with exasperation. "We can't tell you anything unless you are family." "Listen, the father of my child is in there. I think that I have every right to know." Lindsay ground out. She hadn't wanted to make a scene, but it was getting ridiculous already. "I thought he was gay." The nurse said with shock. "Gay men have sperm too. Now will you please give me an update." Lindsay was quickly losing her patience, which wasn't a regular occurrence for her. "Do you need to see documentation?" "Yes. " The nurse said firmly. She lost some of her composure when Lindsay pulled an envelope out of her wallet. She always carried a copy of Gus's birth certificate, and the papers Brian signed giving Melanie parental rights. She handed the birth certificate to the nurse. "Now are you going to tell me?" Lindsay started tapping her foot with irritation. The nurse nodded and walked down the corridor silently. When she returned she was carrying a chart. "Mr. Kinney has suffered severe internal injuries. They're operating right now." The nurse said. "I'll keep you up to date." "Thank you." Lindsay walked away. She was biting her lip to keep from crying. Knowing the seriousness of Brian's injuries didn't calm her any. "What did she tell you?" Melanie asked when Lindsay sat down shakily and lowered her head for a moment. When she looked up, her face was stained with tears. "He has internal injuries. He's in surgery." Lindsay could barely speak. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Justin stood and walked out of the waiting room. "Emmett, go talk to him." Melanie said. She held Lindsay close while she cried. They were all praying that Brian was going to be alright. Michael, after having let go of his mother when she went to call Vic, was sitting in the corner staring straight ahead. Ted walked over to him and draped an arm across his shoulders. All was silent except for Lindsay's muffled sobs. "Justin." Emmett said quietly. Justin turned and looked at his friend. His face was wet with fresh tears. He was terrified that his last words to Brian would be the accusing words he spoke that caused Brian's accident. "It's my fault, Em." Justin spoke the words slowly, as if more to himself than to Emmett. Hearing them in his own ears sent him into another fit of sobs. Emmett sat next to him and held him close. "Oh, no, baby. It's not your fault. It was a car accident." Emmett didn't believe the words himself, but he also didn't believe that it was Justin's fault. He believed that it was his fault, along with Ted, Melanie, and Lindsay. If they weren't trying to fix that which may not have been broken, Brian would be fine now. "He wanted to get away from him. I was accusing him. If it weren't for me, he would have been going so fast." Justin's hold on Emmett tightened. He was so scared that he was going to lose Brian without getting to tell him how much he loved him. "Justin!" Ty called. He had just arrived at the hospital having heard about the accident through the Liberty grapevine. Justin stood and ran to his cousin, who had been his only lifeline for the last few weeks. With Ty he felt safe. As Ty held him, he started crying again. "I could lose him, Ty." Just shook with fear and pain. "I could lose him." The world seemed so wrong with Brian lying in that bed, hurt and alone, maybe even dying. "You aren't going to lose him." Ty said. "Let's go back inside. It's cold out here." He kept his arm around Justin as they returned to the waiting room. Everyone was looking at Justin questioningly, except Debbie of course. "Have you guys all met Justin's cousin Ty?" Debbie asked. Her throat was scratchy from crying. Everyone looked like a light bulb had turned on in their heads. They all said polite nice-to-meet-you's and went back to sitting in silence. An hour later, they were all asleep, still waiting for Brian to get out of surgery. "Justin. Justin, wake up." Lindsay's voice floated into Justin ears and he opened his eyes. Her face was covered in tears and her eyes looked stricken with pain and sorrow. He felt his chest tighten and his breath stop. And that was when Justin knew. Brian was gone forever. He looked around and saw the tears on everyone's faces, the sorrow in their eyes. "Nooooo!" He screamed. He rolled onto the floor and curled into a ball. The pain he felt in his chest was unbearable. He wanted to get up, he wanted to run, but he was paralyzed. He needed to see Brian. He couldn't believe he was gone until he saw him. He wasn't sure how it happened, or where the time was gone, but soon he was at Brian's funeral. The snow crunched under his feet, and the cold wind whipped against his face. There were hundreds of people surrounding the burial site and he had to push his way through the crowd to get near the casket. Michael stood there, dressed all in black, holding a rose and crying. Lindsay and Melanie stood with Gus. Melanie holding both of them as they cried. Gus must have known that his father was gone. Debbie and Vic, also dressed in black, stood near Michael, both lost in their own thoughts, their own sorrow. Emmett was clutched to Ted sobbing uncontrollably. And then Justin stopped. He saw Brian, jaw clenched, eyes wet. "That's not right." Justin said. And then he looked and he saw his mother, his father, Molly, Daphne. He looked down, terrified. "Nooo!" He screamed when he saw his name on the tombstone. "Justin, wake up!" Debbie's voice woke him this time. He found himself in the hospital waiting room, everyone was still asleep except for himself and Debbie. "You were having a nightmare, honey." Justin took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down. "Brian...?" Justin spoke only his name and Debbie knew what he needed to know. "He's out of surgery, but he's in critical condition. Sweetie, it he doesn't make it..." "Don't say that, Debbie." Justin fought not to think about what would happen if Brian didn't make it. "He's Brian Kinney, he'll make it." Justin bit back the tears that wanted to spill from his eyes. "Ma, Justin's right." Michael said. He had been awake for their whole conversation. "Brian won't let himself die, not in a car accident." Suddenly, Justin stood. He walked over to the nurse. He recognized her. She had been on evening duty when he was in the hospital after the attack. "Excuse me, Judy." Justin said politely. "Well, if it isn't Justin Taylor." Judy said with a smile. "What brings you in? Is everything alright?" "Brian...." Justin struggled to finish the sentence. "Is there any way I can get into his room? There's something I need him to hear, something that might make him want to make it.." "Wait." Judy, who had just come on duty while Justin was sleeping, tried to process what Justin had just told her. "Brian Kinney is the Brian who came here every night while you were here." She felt like she had been slugged in the gut. "He was in a car accident." Justin had to once again control his emotions. Every time he had to say the words, he felt the stirring of emotion in his chest. "No one is supposed to go in there. He's in critical condition." The nurse said. She looked conflicted for a moment. "As long as you don't touch him and you aren't in there for long, you can see him." "Oh, thank you, Judy!" Justin wanted to jump up and hug her, but chose to restrain himself. When they entered the room, Justin wasn't sure he made the right choice. Seeing Brian laying in that bed, looking so fragile, his head bandaged, Justin's heart broke. "You have five minutes, Justin." Judy offered a small smile before turning and exiting the room. Justin pulled a chair close to Brian's bed. He reached out to take Brian's hand, but then remembered what Judy said. "They told me I can't touch you." He said. "Thing is, when you're around, I need to touch you. I can restrain myself this time because I don't want to hurt you. See, having you in my life, no matter how many ups and downs there are, I feel safe. These last few weeks I've missed that so much. Brian, I want you to do your best to get better. I need you tonight." The last words were whispered. "I love you, Brian. No matter what has happened with us, I love you more than anything in my life. I told my parents that when they first asked about you. They said you didn't love me. And you didn't. But I know you do now. And I know that we can work things out. We're both happier when we're together." The tears were flowing and Justin wasn't sure he was going to be able to finish. "Please don't leave me, Brian. Not now." Justin turned and ran from the room, his heart breaking. He didn't know how he had gotten through everything he wanted to say, but somehow he had. "Justin, what's wrong?" Michael called as he saw Justin run from the hospital. He followed him and saw him sitting on a bench outside with his knees pulled up to his chest. "What if he dies, Michael?" Justin cried. He didn't know what he would do if Brian died. "He's so young, and... and... I love him, Michael. I love him so much." Justin continued to sob as Michael pulled him into an embrace. "Hey." Justin looked up to see Debbie standing next to him. It had been over five hours since he had gone into Brian's room. The doctors said that his vital signs had improved slightly, but he was still in critical condition, they were monitoring him closely. "Hey, Deb." Justin said. He looked down again. They had moved to a more private waiting room. They were all still there. Melanie had left at dawn to pick up Gus and take him to her sister's place, but she had since returned. Everyone was praying for Brian to pull through. "He's strong, Justin." She sat down next to him and took his hand. "Brian has taken a lot of licks in his life and they've only made him stronger. I have faith that this one will too." "Debbie, I don't want to talk about it." Justin sighed and laid down on Debbie's lap. He didn't want the comforting words, but he needed the physical contact. Debbie fought back the emotions yet again as she stroked her Sunshine's hair. If Brian didn't pull through, she wasn't sure if Justin would either. And it broke her heart that she could lose two sons in one night, one in body and one in heart. Justin fell asleep not long after Debbie starting stroking his hair, the touch comforting him enough to close his eyes. He wanted so badly to believe that Brian would pull through, but he was terrified that he wouldn't be that lucky. He and Brian had almost been separated by death once before. Maybe what hadn't happened then was destined to happen now. Justin woke up around noon. He saw that everyone was still there with him, waiting for news on Brian. There had been nothing. Justin had never been very religious, but he felt that, if there was ever a time for it, that time was now. He stood and walked down the corridor. He thought about what he would lose if he lost Brian. And he fell to his knees. "Take the very breath you gave me. Take the heart from my chest. I'll gladly take his place if you'll let me. Make this my last request." Justin repeated lyrics from a song that his father used to love. A Tim McGraw song. He surprised himself, because now he knew what it was like to value someone else's life over his own. "Justin." Michael said somberly from behind him. "The doctor has some news." Justin was up in a flash and they returned to the waiting room. The doctor stood in front of everyone holding a chart. He had seen them there all night and the entire morning. He knew that they would all want to be there when he told them the news. "Well, doctor, tell us." Debbie said a few moments after Justin and Michael had returned when the doctor stayed silent. "He woke up. He's not completely out of the woods yet, but we're taking him off the critical list." The doctor slowly smiled. "He's asking for someone." "Who?" Lindsay asked quickly even though they all knew the answer. "Justin." The doctor said. Justin's face lit up and he looked to the ceiling. He silently said a thank you before following the doctor to Brian's room. He saw that Brian was sitting up slightly. He looked pale, but when he saw Justin his eyes lit up. "Justin..." He breathed and then smiled. Justin walked over to the bed quickly and kissed Brian's lips. He was careful not to hurt him, but he needed to touch him. "Oh, I'm so glad you're here." "I'm glad you're here too." Justin whispered. "I was so scared, Brian." His eyes were wet again and when Brian saw he touched a hand to Justin's cheek. "There's no need to be scared anymore. I'm here to stay." Brian took Justin's hand. He knew that they had a long way to go, but sensed that this tragedy would bring one good thing. They would both be willing to fight for each other. Brian smiled. Yes, everything would be alright. "I love you." Justin said. He brought Brian's fingers to his lips and lightly kissed the tips. "I love you, too." Brian said. He pulled Justin close and they kissed. Yes, the world was looking up. To Be Continued... the boys have a lot of healing to do.... |